Recent allegations of math geekism & goober-like behaviour from the treacherous Grin-22 had Iron Mike on edge. Even more dithgustingly the laundry magnate cum HeadCoach physical abuser was whispering lies that Iron Mike would take Sisterivorydarkmore out for a coffee. Iron Mike is pithed off but he will not let this rough day get to him. He will prevail like the prince he is.

A few hours on the heavy bag at the state of the art JFMAST training facility works up a passable level of sweat & soothes Mike’s tortured soul. He enters the changing rooms showers then pulls on his JFMAST branded leisure wear. Iron mike towel whips a few pencil necked geeks in the changing rooms of the JFMAST training complex & shouts in a high pitched tone.

“My friendth, permit me a moment to tell you a tale. Dethpithe the rethent allegathionth of math geekithm it ith a FALSE claim to assert that Iron Mike hath numberth learning. What Iron Mike doeth have ith a good grathp of hithtory.”

Iron Mike scratches his bald dome.

"Permit me a moment to tell you a tale. A tale of blood and betrayal that took plathe many yearth ago on thethe very shores.. An ancient tale but a thtory with thtark relevanthe I promithe you.”

Iron Mike scratches his JMFAST branded sweatpants at the crotch region. What the fuck had Grin-22 been washing these things in, fire ants?

“Thith thtory taketh plathe in the subsection of american life known ath organithed crime. An age ago a few printhely men of strength and wit had aththended to the rank of crew leaderth, with one man to rule over the group. He believed himthelf to have found the thecret to eternal power from a deity known ath Ankara. He then took hith followerth to war. He & hith group of allieth are called to a cruthade to eradicate all organithed crime not under their control."

"The overlordth demand that the out group are slain for their sins. The sin of not belonging. The thoon to be corptheth are thertainly in the 'out' group, known ath the general populathion. The in group or inner circle if you will, thethe warlike men clad in theap suits wielding big gunth are the lordth of the realm, the crew leaderth. To them, the virtueth of nobility & honour matter above all. The criminalth of the country look to them for protecthion, juthtithe, familial bondth & purpothe. These are the men who defend the weak in their crew from the thtrong."

"The evil overlord blesses all actions, he declares the killings to be sacred deeds done in the name of Ankara to progress & maintain power. Any crimes committed against the 'out' group in this era shall be forgiven."

"The fortress of the 'out' group falls at dawn. The big gun toting 'in' group lead their men into the districts across the USA, and with all sins forgiven before they are even committed, they show no mercy. The whole country burnth. Men, women, thildren all butthered. A few well plathe killingth would have aththured power for yearth to come, but what of the thouthandth of loyal devoted mafioso, the blamelethth masses who do not detherve death? ‘kill them all’ thay the overlordth, for they are not uth. They condemn hundredth to death, not becauthe they are guilty or a threat but becauthe they are not one of uth."

"Like every emothion & deed thith thlaughter ith reflected in the conthciouthnethth of generathionth to come. The hate, the fear, the rage, and the bitter sense of betrayal. An innothent populathion wiped from the fathe of the earth by the very people who thhould have defended them. Few eventth in hithtory hold the thame rancid thymbolithm ath this era where the thtrong turned on the weak who they were thworn to protect."

"What ith the end of thith tale? My hithtory bookth run empty at thith point. My forefatherth deththended into drugs & apathy so did not keep any recordth. I would atthume only an internal collapthe or an act of god would return the USA to thome kind of balanthe. Jutht be thankful friendth we are no longer in that era."

Iron Mike notices the glum faces staring back at him while having a particularly good scratch at his JFMAST branded hoody. Despite the conthant itching Iron Mike was happy to report when he caught his reflection in a mirror he was looking swole & vathcular"

"Do not fear friendths I have many more tales of the past with a less bitter flavor. Victories won, ages of prosperity, ages of entertainment, mafia basketball teams! Hopefully the lives we all lead will enter into the annals of hithtory as the latter"

"So, friendth, tell me of the good times? No HeadCoach no one wants to hear about the time you set up midwar to save mafia basketball for the 10,000th time…Someone, anyone in this locker room, regale us with a tale of the past. Last person to pipe up owes Coath 3 laps & 10 burpees."
 

Like every emothion & deed thith thlaughter ith reflected in the conthciouthnethth of generathionth to come

Conthciouthnethth, wooooooweeee Mike that's a damn word and a half. First we catch you dipping your toes into the murky puddle of math dorkery and now you're pulling out words like it's been nothing but Webster's dictionary on team flights. What happened to the old Iron Mike? The 'me eat meat so make abs more bigger' Mike? 

This is MAFIA BASKETBALL, Mike, this isn't some fedora-wearing @Hobbs-type crew. CatoftheCanals, while a saint and a great organizer of crimes from which Coach makes money, recently visited Detroit and brazenly flaunted our mug-mandatory protocols. What's Hobbs doing over there? There's simply no discipline. No discipline at all, Mike. 

Go get some red meat in you. Forget a couple big words. Flip a fucking enormous, chain-wrapped tire up and down the street to some crazy power violence punk-rock. 

I think ith the lack of opportunitieth for violenthe expanding my vocabulary coath. Since beating the thhit out of Southsider on multiple occathionth no one hath been foolithh / brave enough to pick my pocketth. Atthually that ith a lie. One person has gotten away with it, but thoon I will spot them, mangle their face into a mess of tenderized meat & get backth to my old self.
 
Theeing ath you were too buthy coatthing me into a finer mafia bathketball player i will give you another story of the past for free.
 
Many generathionth ago a crew leader by the name of Briana Arao wath the captain of the H.M.S friendthhip out of Philadelphia. Briana, firtht mate numberth & deckhand theaman thtaineth opened up their heartth, mindth & legth to throw the firtht annual seventh cities barbecue. It wath an amazing time, meat getting spun around, friendthhipth made, venereal ditheatheth shared. Real fucking halcyon dayth.

Thadly not muth later tyrant or greatetht leader of all time (depending on your pov) Marietta thunk the friendthhip.
 
Mike scratches his bald dome.

Moral of the story? Thucked if i know. I would suggest we have the perfect venue to recreate thith magical time & build bondth of friendthhip acrothth the nathion with a bbq....
 
No Coath not the training complex, the world famous, much envied touritht attracthion the 12th Street public bathroom.

Yeah mention my name all you want. I only have to say a couple things .
You are now on the restraining order list along with Grin-22 and Frizzle. 
You can smear my bloodline all you want, those who actually know me, know you are lying about me.  

You all think far more about me than I do you. 

Iron Mike had just finished up beating Dmitry like a drum. He had to respect the mans bravery & quick reactions. Iron Mike had no chance in recovering any of the funds lifted from his wallet. But battering a face into a boneless mess had cheered Mike up no end. Lord knows Mike needed cheering up following his shameful (& overly harsh) restraining order. At least this display of pugilism would draw to a close the talk of Mike being a nerd (He hoped)

"Ok children gather round for Ol Mikes hithtory lesson. Theeing as no one else will share a tale from our collective patht Iron Mike will again bravely take up the mantle of wise hithtorian. This is a tale of the distant past when our land had a (I thit you not) cult. Not a cult of mafia basketball or cult of personality but a real live Kinky Taboo thex cult!"

"Now Iron Mike was just a twinkle in his fathers’ eye back when this inthident occurred. I actually learned about it by accident after a visit to the Detroit Library. My initial plan was to thake down the place for a cut of their earnings, but NOBODY is going to turn a profit with books in Mug City. My new plan was to attempt to upgrade the toilet paper situation at the 12th Street Public Bathroom by ‘Borrowing’ some bookth & gleefully ripping out the pageth to lovingly place on a nail in my favourite stall (right next to the glory hole) but when I opened the book, I was thocked & thunned."

"Penned by an ancient author known as Ziva were tales of cults, kinky taboo sex collars, tales of people getting fired up & a death count to rival any competitive writing community event. No way was Iron Mike going to rip up this treasure (Although if you have a read you may notith a mixed pubic reaction to the works at the time)"

Some of the quoteth which had ol Iron Mikes thides splitting included;

• You have no idea about what you are inquiring, girl.  This is no club- no gaggle of twitty gashes that simply follow Him around like stupid pups.  To wear the collar of O/our Master is to be totally owned by Him- body and spirit.  Every G/girl bearing His collar loves Him deeply and serves Him well.   – KaylinnCG
• O/our Master's girls wear one of two collars in His service.  If you are a new girl to the Home, it is likely that O/our Master has given you the Home collar («K†§»).  In this collar, you have the protection of the Home and O/our Master.  The girls wearing this collar are submissive first to Master Deviant~§lu†, and then to the Masters and Mistresses that visit KTS. – SuttinCG
• Remember that KTS stands for Kinky Taboo Sex.  The purpose of this Home is to offer a place for people of all fetish communities to come and explore their pleasures.  Some of the kinks and fetishes you encounter may be new or strange to you; remember that you must never judge A/anyone. – SuttinCG

If this has got your motor running for more of the tale then the books are over here & here. Help yourthelf friendth.

"Ath alwayth with Mike's trips down memory lane this thory had no moral. Feel free to chip in with your trips down memory lane or hithtory lethons my dear friendth."

Just in case anybody thought that Mafia Basketball was a stupid idea, this history lesson really puts things in perspective. Thanks as always, Iron Mike.