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| Detroit Bingo - $10m+ to be won | Started by: Grin-22 on Jun 03, '22 13:15 |
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Iron Mike was not going to take being called out in the streets. He feared no man. He especially didn’t fear an overly cerebral prancer from the West Coast Iron Mike had already taken the king of Thummerlin to smack city earlier in the day.
He would squash this would be prince, this library owning dandy like a bug. Iron Mike takes a swing. A swing & a miss… The fine Mug city sun was reflecting from Hobbs pasty skin right into Miles eyeth. Hobbs being the crafty, sneaky, book loving dweeb that he is played a great cheat card. He lay down on the floor begging for mercy before scooping up a handful of grit & throwing it into Iron Mikes eyes. Clearly the recent visit by Hobbs to the pride of Detroit (12th Street Public Bathroom) had made him a better manly man. Iron Mike was blinded, the punches didn’t really hurt (Coming from a noddle arms like Hobbs) but the financial penalty kicked like a mule. Iron Mike has been on his way from the bank & was about to pay the monthly salary for his entourage of overpaid useless body guards. Hobbs had escaped with over $21,000,000 to add insult to injury he shouted while running away ‘You pigeon chested fuck’
As far as Mike & the rest of Detroit were concerned this was an act of war (Right guyth?) Iron Mike was on his way to the mattress store, his trusty sawn off shot gun in hand when he saw Hobbs loitering outside the Detroit prison. He steamed into Hobbs with the rage usually reserved for Mrs Tython when she is late cooking dinner or FrenchieHorn when she nonsensically claims Mike is bad with names. Punches rain down. Hobbs goes limp…He doesn’t utter a word about where the cash has done. Mike has to split when he hears the sound of thirens.
“You haven’t heard the last of this Printhe Hobbs...” Mike screams as he turns to run from the law. |
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| Reply by: MikeTyson at Jun 09, '22 16:24 | |
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It had been a solid afternoon in Detroit. Hobbs was becoming stronger with each passing day, whereas Detroit seemed to fade into insignificance. Detroit had instigated a brutal game and after a long week of taking a beating every other hour it was clear that their protein packed bodies were now wilting like a bowl of untouched salad on a hot day. Hobbs had publicly stated he was in Detroit, to these meat-head jocks who couldn't resist the Venus fly trap of the Prince of Summerlin. Like a coiled spring he jumped into action taking down Grin-22 in a vicious beatdown, and pickpocketing without reply to add insult to injury an hour later
Feeling cocky he waited for Mike to arrive, and when he did he was far faster than Mike expected. "Never skip leg day" that was the key to Hobbs success. Noodle armed and bow legged he may be, but he was built for speed not power and easily snatched a ridiculouth sum of money.
Hobbs added insult to injury when he managed to stash the entirety of the 21 million in his prison wallet to avoid losing a single penny when Mike tried to get his revenge later on. Hobbs was set for life. With 21 million he could do so so much good in the world, he could run for office, he could buy all 180-200 of his bodyguards an upgraded set of gear to double their efficiency, or he could do what he'd always wanted. He could crush Headcoach once and for all. "Thanks MikeTyson. Easiest money I ever made. For Hobbs this was never about the points. Not really about the money either though it was a bonus. This was all personal, bay-bay. |
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| Reply by: Hobbs at Jun 09, '22 16:45 | ||||||
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Void ran up with his clothing covered in scratches and dust, and breating heavily. You know lads, I thought today was going to be a great day. I had a good breakfast at a lovely cafe in Vegas, did some profitable deals here and there and made several visits to the city's many post offices. Everything went swimmingly until I had made my way to Detroit to return my book to the Public Library. When I arrived I thought it'd be nice to plan a visit to the local art gallery first (wink wink), the lineup consisted of many good Vegas and Detroit men and women, nothing could possibly go wrong. But just before we were about to roll out I felt the by now familiar touch of massive muscled mitts fondling my pockets. I turned around and this time I successfully managed to make out the identity of my molestor. It was none other than one of the men who was about to go on the art gallery trip with me.
Now it wasn't easy, at first I started pummeling into his gunt but this proved to be ineffective, HeadCoach didn't budge and was disinterestedly cleaning the earwax out his ears with his fingers or something. Only after doing a full body slam from a running distance I could manage to get him to topple over. I should bring my encyclopedia again next time. The whole ordeal left the both of us so exhausted and out of breath that the art gallery job we attempted immediately afterwards ended up being a failure as well. I guess we both didn't bring our A-game. But at least I had now gotten my revenge for the 10+ times I got felted before. Void walked off in the direction of the Public Library, to finally return his book and to hopefully get some peace and quiet there after this turbulent day. |
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| Reply by: Void at Jun 09, '22 22:10 | |||
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Lord knows there is nothing I love more than a good beating. It pains and shames me almost in equally measure (although not really as I've been pummeled to the ground and nearly stopped breathing 34 times and that hurts a lot) that I have been indisposed and unable to provide more frequent updates. I'm upset about it. You're probably upset about it. I can sense it. This must be how Hobbs feels, facing a street full of angry faces. I'm not Hobbs though, thank God, and I'm here to make amends. Before I get to the scoreboard and despite my infrequent appearances here, I've been hard at work. I've been sliding my hands into pockets all over town, tip-ins, alley-oops, even a tomahawk dunk into the miserly face of an unsuspecting Horn. Pretty much anything I damn well pleased in Philly, Detroit, wherever, you name it, I've been there, Well, except anywhere other than Philly or Detroit as I don't go anywhere else and honestly, I didn't really want to be in Philly, but needs must. 100,000 big ones came my way for the millions worth of bodyguard retraining that will be required in the aftermath - which I'm sure we can all agree is a fair reward and a small price to pay. Some things I've learned in my travels to one other city:
Horn's a mug virgin.
PP doesn't mean mug to these hands, my man.
If you ever need a quick 15k without any repercussions, Summerlin is always obliging.
Swaggering around Extremely Rich calls to the impoverished wolf of my soul, starved by financial HeadCoach's gluttony.
Fool me once, shame on me. Where's that OC now (2 days ago), huh? Didn't think so.
BOOOOOOOYAH's delivered to any would-be robber. I despite pickpockets. |
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| Reply by: Grin-22 at Jun 09, '22 23:52 | |
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Ok so I hadn't finished talking, but that's ok, we will just roll with it. No harm done, guys. No harm whatsoever. The standings? Oh, you mean these standings? No problem. I've got 'em right here. BOOOYAH:
We've got ourselves a tie at the top! Conqueeftador and the Detroit-obsessed Snake of Summerlin both walking the Detroit mile with pride in their hearts and bruises on their knuckles. The way life should be, only a short leap at any one time from being beaten to within an inch of your life. Now because I missed a fair amount of this contest, to spice things up and frankly because I want to, I'm going to to be calling time on this contest at 12:00 on 11th June. That's about an extra day apparently according to one of the number nerds in the back. I'll have to take their word for it. Seems fitting though, right? No? Oh well. HeadCoach didn't get to be the kingpin of Detroit by playing by the rules and neither do we, 'man just setup himself up in the middle of a war, erected a couple of homemade boards at either end and had himself a battlefield court right there in Bricktown, bullets flying, no shits given. BricktownCL didn't like it, but what's he going to be about it? Fucking nothing, that's what. (Miss you, Boss). So, between now and the end of the contest, the following wild rules apply: You will score double points for any mug of Grin-22 or HeadCoach. Any Hobbs/Summerlin related mug whispers will be rewarded with an extra 5 points. A bonus multiplier is available if you follow that up with a mail to me subsequently telling me why he sucks. Your mail must be marked with the subject, "Hobbs sucks BECAUSE" for this to apply. Any mug of MikeTyson in the latter stages of the fight, between rounds 06:00 and 12:00 will earn triple points. Any mug of Jaws will not score any points at all, but I'll give you a high five. Two high fives if you kick him in the nuts, whether you've mugged him or not. Any mug of Skidmark whereupon you send him money ONLY to be spent on drugs, 5 bonus points. Manage to catch FrizzleFry in the 12th Street Public Toilets, firstly, don't look down if he's in the trough, you'll only feel bad about yourself and secondly, 200 bonus points. You've got to prove he was there though. No shenanigans. I won't be leaving Detroit and I'll be picking pockets like I pick up VIP credits - regularly and with a beauty undiminished despite 34 almost mortal woundings. And before anyone queries the scores, do I look like a math geek to you? I'm not checking them, those are the standings. Now, let's bring this baby home in true Detroit style. I've got $10,000,000 I need gone like an unsuspecting bodyguard, minding his own business and MikeTyson comes around the corner with allied murder in his heart again. Mug on, friends. Mug on. |
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| Reply by: Grin-22 at Jun 10, '22 00:23 | |
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After noticing my meager one point in the standings, I realized that I haven't been coming out to brag about my successes often enough. Trust me, my friends, I have dished out a few beatings. Not nearly as many beatings as wallets I have snatched free of consequence, however. It seems like nobody can catch this slippery eel. I mentioned my beating of Henson earlier, which earned me my one point. If it were Roguette, that one point would earn me a bump towards a certain reward, but I digress. After that beating, I set my sights on Mikus. Mikus tried to steal from me and got nothing but a black eye and a lighter wallet...
It was a pleasure doing business with you, Mikus. Next up, that big ol' tub of goo, HeadCoach tried coming after me. Maybe it's because I hadn't paid my taxes, or maybe he just needed some money for a bucket of fried chicken. Didn't matter. He got nothing and liked it.
The same thing would have happened if Hobbs tried to pickpocket me, but he didn't. Wise choice, Hobbs. Stick to reading books and other nerdy pastimes. Later on I decided to pickpocket Owney just to give him a chance at getting a few points on the board. He didn't mug me, but about an hour later he decided to return the favor and pickpocket me back. Since he didn't mug me when he had the opportunity, obviously I reciprocated and let him off without a beating, right? Not a chance. I beat him like a ginger stepchild. However, Owney is not a Detroit resident, and therefore I get no points for this beating. I just wanted to give him a shout out because he was such a good sport about it. In a situation where some would be crying their eyes out at the unfairness of it all, he took it like a man and congratulated me on a job well done. Take notes, whiney bitches. That's how a real mafia basketball player acts. |
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| Reply by: Skidmark at Jun 10, '22 01:18 | |||||||||||||
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That is fine work all round, Skidmark. Taking a beatdown with good grace is the hallmark of a strong and, usually, virile man. Well done, Owney. For my part, a morning of missed opportunities.
Three chumps donating $15,000 to the Detroit coffers without so much as a strong word between them. Has anyone from Chicago ever mugged?Are they in the FrenchieHorn mug incel brigade? Probably. They don't deserve their money and those double point opportunities with Hobbs-mocking bonus have fallen by the wayside. A shame. |
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| Reply by: Grin-22 at Jun 10, '22 08:21 | |
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After 24 hours in a cryotherapy chamber healing his mug injuries, Coach had returned to the streets - his natural domain - and gotten back on the pickpocket horse, so to speak, snatching 15k or less from whoever was unlucky enough to find themselves in his ever-widening path. Whipping out his customary handheld whiteboard, he again ran through the names - some of whom had mugged him senseless, others who had remained oblivious to his fat Pink Panther-esque expertise:
"Double points up for grabs for a HeadCoach mug, folks. I am looking for someone to absolutely destroy me. I'm wider than I am tall, juiced up on human growth hormone and stuffed full of tortellini. Punch me in the tummy and you might open me up like a pinata. Let's get it going." |
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| Reply by: HeadCoach at Jun 10, '22 10:56 | |
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If only the BBB had reported all their previous mugs of Jaws before. Now it was worth nothing and that was sad because Jaws is worth more than nothing. Hes worth something. What that something is, who knows. The beatings had gone to his head and didnt know what was happening anymore. He had lost all concept of points and money. All he wants is blood. HE NEEDS BLOOD.
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| Reply by: BBB at Jun 10, '22 11:34 | |||
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Skidmark walked back to the street to talk about his latest mugging achievements... This will likely be it for me. I don't know how much more my fists can take. In addition to catching FrizzleFry on the shitter, I also apprehended two would-be thieves.
Nothing gained, nothing lost. Well done on protecting your coke money, Henson. I would have taken it and it would all have gone up my nose by now. Conqueeftador was a little more generous...
...although he would take back more than half of that shortly thereafter. It was a great workout and we should be ready if BricktownCL ever decides to show his face in Mug City again. |
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| Reply by: Skidmark at Jun 10, '22 22:20 | |||||||||||
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Daiquiri was again visiting the great Motor City, hoping to offload some produce from her city of Las Vegas. She had learnt from all her previous trips that she needed to be on her guard and to constantly be looking over her shoulders, after all, it was also known as Mug City. She had grown used to the fact that people barely smiled in Detroit unless they had their false teeth in. That was of course, except for one man named Grin-22 a Boss who worked for HeadCoach. He had no shame in showing his lack of teeth at all. He showed what he had with pride. He may have lacked in his pearly whites, but he sure didn't in confidence. Then it happened, he appeared around a corner when Daiquiri was preoccupied at the local jails, he tried to put his hand into her pocket. She knew who it was right away.
As Grin-22 backed himself away from her, he backed himself into an open jail cell. He got himself stuck. "Perfect," Daiquiri said, as she dived upon him right away to fight.
When she managed to calm down and stopped smacking Grin-22 about, she got the smiley one picked up and dropped outside the jail cell. "I'll take my double points," she said to Grin-22, who annoyingly was still smiling like a semi-toothless Cheshire cat. Resisting the urge to not try to knock him about again, she made herself far away from him as she possibly could. |
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| Reply by: Daiquiri at Jun 11, '22 10:09 | |||||
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As the Bingo comes to its conclusion and I try to plug another gap in my jaw with buttercream from Coach's "it's Saturday" celebration cake, please allow time for me to get the scores together and announce the winner. We brought in a couple of maths dweebs to do the heavy lifting for us under threat of losing their lunch money if they didn't. Once they are done, I'll be back with the prizes. |
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| Reply by: Grin-22 at Jun 11, '22 11:47 | |
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So there went my pennies. Just enough to buy a can of dull white paint. It was and is really easy to locate the stealthy culprit when I feel like avenging but for those up in rank, I always run into some ass asking me if I am stupid and telling me how dare I roll someone whose reputation exceeds me by that much. In other words, mugging you was not an option. I am a mugger as a few found out. |
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| Reply by: HuckleBerryFinn at Jun 11, '22 18:29 | |
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Even though bingo has ended I find myself compelled to continue on this wonderful Detroit lifestyle and teach the good word on how wonderful mugging can be for your moral and increase the quality of life overall.
I hope everyone was able to enjoy the small taste of what life is like inside Detroit and how much better you can have it out there. |
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| Reply by: Conqueeftador at Jun 12, '22 17:05 | |
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