When Alina heard her next opponent was going to be FrizzleFry, the Assistant Coach for The Detroit Dribblers her heart sank.   She knew she didn’t supply the FFF for Frizzle and knows she in trouble.   Oh, in case you don’t know what the FFF are, it’s Fuck, Feed or Finance.

Justice, eh? Never heard of him. Sounds like another stain that I'm going to need to rub out. Give him the old Trevisani treatment. 

After a long hard day of sentencing criminals for daring to go against his own criminal enterprise, Justice hears Grin trying to talk smack before their arranged fight. Placing his gavel in his gown, he steps forward whilst cracking his knuckles.  

Fuck you Grin I'm gonna administer a life sentence with these hands. You're going down. 

Skidmark had been training hard all week at Mike Tyson's gym in Detroit. Not necessarily for the upcoming fight, which was against some guy he had never even heard of, but just because that's what an elite athlete does. All the time. I do fucking bench presses in my sleep. But back to the weird italics that let you know what I'm thinking. Skidmark left the gym and did some shadow boxing in the nearby alley when a few fans walked up to admire him...

So who is this Johnny-McIver guy anyways? Other than the only one in New York brave enough to get in the ring with a JFMAST athlete? I guess I have to give him some sort of props for that, but he's still going to be making sandwiches for me by the end of the day. They call him "Bushmaster", apparently? I'm going to be mopping the ring with that uncontrollable mess of pubes after I knock him out! I'm the man around here! I'm pretty! I'm so bad I should be in detention! You don't want any of this, Johnny!

A limo pulls up to the press conference and quickly a red carpet is rolled out. The door to the limo opens and two of the most beautiful women you've ever seen step out. Then you see a shoe slowly step out from the limo followed by another. Slowly a man steps out of the Limo, It's Johnny-McIver he's shirtless wearing a gold chain with a marijuana pendant. He puts his arms around the two ladies and makes his way to the stage.

Everyone's jaws are dropped to the floor what an entrance. He sits down and prepares to speak into the microphone.

"We all know what's about to happen. Skidmark? Please I run laps around this kid, I'll leave skidmarks all over his face. He don't want this smoke, I got two dangerous weapons and they are these right here."

Johnny stands up and flexes his muscles, he was working out in Detroit but decided to move his training camp closer to New York. He was working out with a butcher in Queens. He would wake up everyday at 5am in the morning and punch meat in order to build up his strength.

"Skidmark goes down in the first round. I guarantee it."

Johnny then proceeds to get into Skidmarks face and there is chaos as the table is flipped and a fight breaks out between them and this only just the press conference!

She had been notified of her fight to come against LittleBunnyFooFoo and knew she had to ensure quite a bit of training. It wasn't so much the physical fitness she needed to build up on, but more her mental fitness. For Daiquiri had a weakness when it came to cuteness, even though she was fully away that LittleBunnyFooFoo was not an actual rabbit, it was the name itself that was throwing Daiquiri off a bit. That and the fact they both worked for the city of Las Vegas.

"I suppose, just like the saying of what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, also goes for the boxing ring LittleBunnyFooFoo, its not personal. See you there!" she said with a wink to the lady.  She started to make her way back to The Forest to continue training as she muttered to herself "I'll go rabbit spotting, till they're no longer cute to me!"

Foo had just returned from the forest and doing some field mouse head bopping to train for her upcoming boxing match. As she neared the streets she could hear Daiquiri speaking. With the upcoming match set to see the two Vegas ladies paired off, she braced herself for some smack talk. Although very bad at it herself, Foo really didn't want to speak badly of Daiquiri, they had gotten along well together in their city. Foo was pleased to hear Daiquiri's words and that, unlike the men, the ladies would not call each other out over a silly brawl.

"Definitely nothing personal Daiquiri. Although I have nothing bad to say to you today, I will give it my all in the ring. But I think we are both far too beautiful for anything in the face. Wanna make a deal on that one?"

Foo smiled cutely and extended her hand to Daiquiri before the other lady headed out.

twigs was told that he had been paired up against some nobody from the useless city of Detroit. He couldn't be any happier, as it meant he would practically be skipping the first two rounds, and would be able to preserve energy for the real opponents in the other cities. twigs' training regimen was simple: He would do the exact opposite of whatever HeadCoach was preaching. He also made sure to never get near the stupid Powerpump Traffic Stop as it would be a massive waste of time.

"Best of luck to you, Denis. You're definitely going to need it since your training has been unintentionally sabotaged due to having such an atrocity of a coach."

"Four hundred and one...four hundred and two..."

Coach put LarryLardass down, offering him a friendly and encouraging pat on the butt on his way out. He'd found a live subject to be a much more compelling squat bar than the usual steel lately, and much better conversation. 

"It seems my opponent, Touch_Of_Evil, chose to retire from this life and disappear into hiding than face these piping hot murder-mitts in the ring," he said, wiggling his thick fingers for emphasis. "I suppose that's to be expected, can you blame someone for not willingly walking into an execution? It seems I've strolled into the 3rd round with two bye weeks in tow, whoever faces me next is going to be on the receiving end of 3 rounds of pent up hostility and an absolutely ludicrous diet of perfomance-enhancing drugs. My body chemistry is so out of wack, if I don't trim the hair growing out of my nose every 3 hours, I'll suffocate. 

Best of luck in your match-up, Denis, I'll be in the commentary booth to detail to our listening audience the various levels of snot you're about to excavate from the deepest recesses of a Godfather-Chairman. Remember twigs, lock your knees, limp wrists, and a lot of pre-fight dairy."

Imperium strolls out to the ring with HeadCoach wife by his side. He steps in the ropes and looks him up and down and side to side, which took longer than it normally did. 

HeadCoach, I been hearing you have been given two by weeks. I have been hearing the people fear the big bad bulk that is HeadCoach. I hear no one wants to be in the same ring with you for they fear they would get crushed. Imperium looks over at the wife. Some have very tragic experiences of that. 

Now I did not originally enter into this boxing competition but If MikeTyson would have me, I would not mind filling in on a short notice bout with the large and lard leader of Detroit. You see, It was not so long ago that i put my hand in one of your pockets hoping to find a candy for my hungry self and as my arm got lost in the abyss you seemed to grow a little upset and decided to mug me. Thankfully I ran to the bank and deposited all 3 million dollars I had before you beat me to a pulp. For two weeks my activity dropped due to that devastating beating you gave me so now, it is my turn to return the favor. 

Imperium pushes HeadCoach

The tables have turned. In this ring, I take you out in three. Ill let you take time to consider this over but in the mean time, I have some yoga lessons I have to go teach to this pretty young thing. 

"I'll take anyone, any time, I'm ready to throw down at any given moment. Where I grew up, trouble was around every corner. You had to fight to survive. The cops would come knocking and I'd say, 'Get out of my face', and they would ask me a couple questions and then generally oblige, since I'm white and pretty privileged, and that's sort of how it works. I learned everything I know on these streets. 

Put him in, MikeTyson. I'll eat this guy up like one of those hard granola bars. Leave a lot of little crumbs lying everywhere, stuck to your shirt, a little bit in your beard. Can't seem to get 'em off. Wonder how all this mess came from one tiny granola bar. Decide to just avoid eating the damn things in the future. Relapse. Round 2. Another granola bar. Same experience, this time you're actually mad about it though, the mess is intolerable. Have to vacuum. Too much effort for a snack. You're not making it to round 3. I'm done with you by then. Pow. Knockout."

"If the Better Basketball Bureau had any balls to speak of they'd give the people what they want. They'd give the World Hobbs v Headcoach in a one on one slobberknocker, to the death if needs be. I'm willing to go to Saudi Arabia if necessary for the fight, and earn all the financial benefits that such a match up would earn. Human rights? MORE like Human wrongs".

Hobbs 180-200 bodyguards turned in unison in alarm

"Wow, ok guys calm down. Ok not to the death, but certainly several rounds of arm swinging, that weird hugging thing boxers do when they lock up, and the occasional ear bite if going by Iron Mike rules."

Hobbs raised his arms in triumph to listen to the clamour of the crowd.

"No offence, Imperium. I beat you in the pursuit of the Jesus of Suburbia and I'll beat you here too. Back of the line you big Ancient Geek you.

So Headcoach, MikeTyson. What do you say?"

Imperium glances over at the leader of the Three Star Mob. 

"All offense over here senor Hobbs, but we all know how a fight with you and HeadCoach plays out. You would likely dance around the ring and never engage with the overweight king. The world does not desire to see Hobbs lob himself in a fight with the Coach. No they want the Yoga Instructor himself tying up with the rounded one. They want to see the heavyweight king come crumbling and there is only one person who can guarantee that happens mr. Hobbs, - me."

Imperium flicks a lighter on and off while he speaks. He looks over at MikeTyson and over at the King of Suburbia. 

"Now, Ill tell you what. I say we have a brief title fight Eliminator. A number one contender match up. You and Me Hobbs for the right to fight the Not-Godfather, the 3 time HeadCoach of the year, Detroit's own sexy machine, HeadCoach. You win, you get to box HeadCoach and I will throw in a free 100k. But if I win, Ill take HeadCoach on and give Jesus of Suburbia a brand new home here in the windy city, a place filled with crews that are greater than an average 3 star crew."

Hobbs patted Imperium on his head. He was a relic from another time and ordinarily Hobbs would happily smash his face in and send him back there.

"Imperium, I've spent  the night locked away with a very real, very serious official of The Better Boxing Bureau. It has transpired that due to registration rules you are unable to enter the competition at a late stage. This is your own health and wellbeing as you clearly haven't passed the necessarily physical checks."

Hobbs sighed

"Truly this is unfortunate as I'd have loved to murder your face with my fists of fury but rules are rules. As you know Hobbs always respects The Bureau's findings, and has never committed acts of arson against Bureau's in petulant rage.

So, with that said, come at me Headcoach. I'm going to knock some science into your noggin."

Johnny stares at the poster and the tournament bracket. It said that Round 2 was supposed to start two days ago but nothing has happened. He was putting work in the gym, waking up early everyday excited to bash Skidmark's head in. But nope not today, or yesterday either. He sees a couple of other fighters also wondering about their fights.

"Hey man, what's going on? I wanna get in there and fight! I think they postponed the tournament because Skidmark saw me at the press conference the other day and is now ducking me. You can't hide from me though! We can fight anytime, anyplace, anywhere."

Iron Mike was thucked. His drug front property raided, his liberty put on hold. It has been a normal Wednesday afternoon. Iron Mike has been at the Muscle Maker training up fighters & busting sets of squats which would kill a less finely tuned athlete. He had taken his customary 11AM protein shake & was off to the 12th Street Public Bathroom to make a creatine / protein infused deposit. After the URGH PLOP ARGH there was a loud banging on the stall door.

"FREEZE IRON MIKE, WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED" came the sharp shout from Mikes Corktown nemesis office nobbs. 

"Thuck..." 

A trip down to the local jail in cuffs had followed for Iron Mike.

"Iron Mike we have evidence to tie you to the murder of an allied bodyguard, constant murder of the English language & a conspiracy to rig a federal lottery...What do you have to say..."

"Thuck you, I have no commentth to make at thith time"

48 hours of being locked down followed. HeadCoach finally managed to free himself from the all you can eat sea food buffet to pay Mikes bail money. As they head out of the lock up Iron Mike turns to Coath.

"Coath all that sea food won't help in the upcoming bout, no one wants to see a man of your imprethive girth be thick all over the dam place..."

Before Coatch can respond Iron Mike is accosted by New York mobster Johnny-McIver

"Thucking Hell Bushmaster, don't sneak up on me like that. I have just had 48 hours of keeping me eyeth peeled for Bubba..."

Iron Mike takes a deep breath & calms down a little.

"I had thome troubleth with the law friend Johnny. Unavoidable. I am glad to thee you are eager to get your bout underway. The conteth will resume today. I will make all of our contethtenth aware...The thow mutht go on!"

Skidmark hears Johnny-McIver yelling in the streets about bashing his head in and challenging him to a fight anytime, anywhere. He steps out of the shadows dressed head to toe in full cowboy gear, but in a very manly way, and not at all like he's about to burst into song and dance...

"I'm your huckleberry..."

Eerie music begins to play in the background, like from one of the old western movies on the silver screen. A rattlesnake hisses in the background for dramatic effect...

"Now you can talk smack all day long about what you plan on doing to me in the ring, but if you are talking about doing it anytime, anywhere, well, that means something entirely different, doesn't it? If you want to settle it out in the street, we can duel at high noon, out in the wild west of Las Vegas".

"I may not be a crewleader, but I'm as old school as they come. I say what I mean and I mean what I say."

"The ball is in your court, Johnny."

Skidmark couldn't resist throwing in a basketball pun, even though he had temporarily discarded the shorts and jersey in favor of boots and a ridiculous hat...

Johnny just laughs at Skidmark's challenge. He meant fight as in fists, not guns. He grabs Skidmark's Cowboy hat and tosses it away.

"Are you alright in the head? I said fight. You know fights use fists right?"

Johnny starts shadowboxing in front of Skidmark and starts circling around him, warming up, and working up a sweat

"I been fightin since I was a kid, back in school, we settled our problems like men and used our fists. I got beat up a few times and also beat some kids too. Let me introduce you to my best friends."

Johnny introduces Skidmark to his fists

"This right here is herp, and this one right here is derp and they gonna give you tha hurt!"

Hobbs sipped his pre-match juice and watched the entertainment play out. This was better than watching a normal boxing match. Skidmark was the clear favourite here in this contest. He'd beaten up a horse after all. Watching the Duel challenge play out, and seeing McIver's response Hobbs was surprised and went for a quick nosey.

Hobbs kicked Imperium for good measure as he strolled over to speak to Johnny-Mciver.

"I do say, quite the balls on you to not only make and rescind a challenge, refuse a duel and then knock a man's hat off in public. A MANS HAT." Hobbs wagged a finger under Mciver's nose

"No, your brains don't appear to be dribbling out of there just yet. Still, a bold move sir." 

Hobbs moved over to the bookies to place a bet muttering under his breath about hats.

"Ignore the boxing match. I want $10k on Skidmark blasting Johnny's head off."

The day had finally arrived - Ian made his way to the crowded Street discussion regarding MikeTyson's Boxing Competition with a grin on his face. It wasn't terribly often that it was acceptable to beat the shit out of folks from other Cities, unless of course you were a resident or visitor of Mug City ^{TM. Boy was he glad that he got his Crew out of that cesspool before their finely tuned criminal minds had been turned to mush with basketball chatter. He didn't begrudge HeadCoach for his ways though, after all, the Coach knew no other life.} 

"Everyone well today? As Chief VNP I sincerely hope that you're all doing well. Everyone except for my opponent later today MidpoinT - he's about as useless as condom dispensary within the Vatican! More disappointing than an unsalted pretzel! It doesn't matter what type of trash talk he comes out here with - we'll just be impressed that he's started using whole sentences!" 

Ian took a small flask from his jacket pocket and drank down the entire thing. Nothing like a triple shot of whiskey and ginger root to get one prepped for a good fight. He cracked his knuckles and began doing push-ups right there in the Street.