Hobbs raised his eyebrows. He and his accountant had been going through the books trying to understand where all the money was going. There was the large investment in setting up the Detroit Library, a horse purchase when Hobbs knew nothing about horses and numerous defamation suits against The Better Basketball Bureau, The Better Boxing Bureau, BBB himself, and of course, his numerous vendettas against the 'Peace Pervert' Void. 

"I really think $5 million for his rehabilitation was well spent, but then the last time I saw him he was making Pretzels with Headcoach and celebrating his non-promotion! What a waste! I should probably take him to court and try get some of that back..."

His accountant slammed his head on the desk. What an idiot. Hobbs and his bodyguards played an intense game of tic-tac-toe whilst the numbers were worked on. Hobbs had won three in a row and was feeling good when the accountant poked his head through.

"MikeTyson is on the telephone for you"

Hobbs came through and picked it up. It turned out Mike had a proposal for him

"Mike, I can barely understand a word you're saying, slow down and repeat it from top to bottom." Mike did as he was told as he always did and the 30 seconds transcript looked a little like this:

Hobbthth

it'th me Mike. Iron Mike. I have a thmathhing idea to make thome theriouth cathh quick and unite our two citieth in peathe and prothperithy. I propothe we join fortheth and form a Lottery Thyndicate. The potential for thucthethth ith athtounding. 

Yeth i know we havent alwayth got a long, and yeth we lotht latht time but thith time i'm convinthed we will thuctheed

Pleathe wire me $5 million dollarth immediately and i thhall purthathe the ticketth

thankthth
Mike

That's what it sounded like to Hobbs anyway. Hobbs didn't want to shame anyone but talking to Mike really was a dreadful experience. Hobbs got the gist though, he needed money and he was a one time winner of the lottery. With their combined tickets they'd hold over thirty percent of the rumoured pot?

What could possibly go wrong?

Well, it turned out a lot could. They lost. Again. Hobbs was furious. Bankrupt and furious. Two weeks in a row Mike had tricked him into this and like a pathetic pawn on a chessboard he'd fallen for it. He refused to fall for it a third time.

The candidates were thin on the ground but there was hope. There was HuckleberryFinn. The dice-stro Maestro who stole from the house and gave to the poor. He was a man with clear luck on his side, but would he want to work with Hobbs? There was Jaws of course. J to his friends. He already owed $35 million to Hobbs and had an appalling track record of success. He could bully Void but that seemed like too much hard work.

No, he'd have to put it to the streets. He and his 180-200 bodyguards spent all morning designing a poster:

WANTED: SYNDICATE LOTTERY PARTNER

Are you tired of losing the lottery to people with 0.53% of the lottery share? Are you sick of watching people take that lottery win and lose it all on Dice three minutes later?  WELL SO AM I. Join Hobbs Syndicate today and together we can achieve success.

CRITERIA: ARE YOU RICH?

Must not be Mike Tyson. Must have money. Must like and respect Hobbs.

WHEN: FRIDAY JULY 1ST 

Tickets will be purchased ahead of the lottery on Friday 1st. 

HOW: ENQUIRE WITHIN

Simply sign up here and now, tell me why you should be my partner, and why you'll be better than MikeTyson.

T&Cs apply. Hobbs is entitled to 50% of the lottery win. Hobbs may also be entitled to a percentage cut of all future earnings including: Drug Deals, Organised Crimes, Petty Crimes, Felony Crimes. 

Satisfied Hobbs left his bodyguards to put the posters up for everyone to see

Void read the poster with eyes wide open, he could simply not believe what he was reading. Not only was the lottery being openly swindled by buying up large amounts of tickets, but Hobbs was even publicly recruiting even more people to this misguided cause.

"Hobbs you being a fellow man of casino city should know that the goddess of luck is not to be fucked with. I can only interpret this swindle of buying up tickets and trying to game the numbers as an act of blasphemy against her. I for one will not be participating in this filth."

"I thought you knew that numbers mean jack when it comes to winning big, there is a much more powerful force at play, that what is sometimes referred to as 'the flow'. This is also why the past few lottery wins were not by those with large numbers of tickets either but with ones who understood this ever prevalent force and got favored by it."

"One day Hobbs I may be the one who will be blessed by Lady Luck, if that were to occur and I'd win the lottery with less than 1% of the tickets (which of course is absolutely not a certainty nor will I insult Lady Luck further by pretending it is) I will be back here and I will LAUGH."

It had been almost a week since the last lottery defeat, and despite an excellent exceptional extraordinary poster not one person had offered to join the syndicate. Did he dare do it again? He looked at the phone longingly and considered calling MikeTyson again. But no! He couldn't be that weak. He was stronger than that. Never go back to your ex that's what people who'd had girlfriends before told him.

Void has come along to offer his version of 'morale' support by talking about Lady Luck and the 'Flow'. 

"Void, if I didn't know any better I'd be worried about you and your Lady Flow that seems to rule your life. But I'm out here looking for a serious Syndicate partner. The big draw is tomorrow and I've found nobody to buy me tickets!"

Hobbs frowned not sure what to do next. Once again he looked at the phone. He wouldn't call though. Not this time. Jaws had gone rogue and killed himself rather than join. Ian Illuminatiated O'Keefe was too busy selling the family silverware to fund a very nice, very evil nicotine addiction and outside of those guys, Hobbs had no real friends to ask.

"You know my friend, maybe we should go into business together. How many tickets have you got for the big drawer?"

"Must like and respect Hobbs," Grin snorted to himself. No wonder nobody had stepped forward. Did Hobbs actually want a partner? Evidently not. That unpopular bag of dicks was going to be flying solo forever if he was trying to find people who not only liked him, a near impossible challenge by itself, but respected him as well? Ridiculous. Grin spat on the poster and left. 

Coach, standing ominously behind Grin like an Olympic shot putter behind a chihuahua, nodded and snorted in agreement. They were just two pals snorting away in the streets like feral hogs. He was oinking like the trough had just been filled. He couldn't really stop himself. The circulation of his airflow was trapped in this rhythm. He grew slightly panicked and pinched his nose with his fingers, causing him to erupt in a coughing fit that left him a color of cherry red and sweating all over. He looked around quickly to make sure Hobbs wasn't in the area and spat on the poster and left. 

Hobbs sniffed the air as he was by his posters. Someone had been here, and tampered with them. One was covered in a mixture of bodily fluids, but also the faint notes of cotton and sandalwood. This was the work of Laundromat maniac Grin-22, a man who had gone into hiding over an declared winner of the Detroit Bingo. He knew Grin and the rest of the Detroit Basketball Mafia were terrible at maths, but a 23 day delay was ridiculous. 

Hobbs recognised the tell-tale signs of Headcoach being in the area from the odd combination smell of rotten fish and a diet overloaded with too much protein and not enough vegetables. Hobbs gingerly touched the posters and noted the fish guts and slime that was all over them. What kind of half man half walrus would do such a thing? A Not-Godfathery one of course. Hobbs wasn't sure either of these two 'gentleman' would arrive and not join the Syndicate after everything Hobbs had done to help but Mafia Basketball on the map.

Hobbs was here to celebrate anyway.

It had transpired that Alina had won the Lottery, and due to some unforeseen condition in the terms at the time of her ticket purchase had made Hobbs a sharing partner in the victory. She hadn't yet presented him with the giant comedy sized cheque with his $23,330,348.50 share on yet but he was sure it would be due any day now. Hobbs was already dreaming of all the things he'd buy. He'd run a competition for the betterment of society. He'd buy an orphanage and help those less fortunate than himself like Void. Most of all he'd use it to find a way to make MikeTyson suffer.

All he needed now was for Alina to formerly acknowledge her joining of The Lottery Tyndicate and hand over the money and all would be well with the world.

"Mannequin Sketches, poke me when Alina arrives. I need to get my beauty sleep so I can dazzle and charm her. Also draw up a terms sheet to give her my share of the "No Salesman Car Dealership" as a gesture of goodwill. Also try rename it "No SalesWOman Car Dealership. She will love how woke we are."

Hobbs went to sit down on a bench wishing there was another fascinating edition of the Herald to read.

It had transpired that Alina had won the Lottery, and due to some unforeseen condition in the terms at the time of her ticket purchase had made Hobbs a sharing partner in the victory. And then he woke up.

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen.  If Hobbs thinks that I owed him a dollar least $23,330,348.50 he must be dreaming.  I never invested a dollar in The Lottery Thyndicate.  All the entries I received where complimentary from the Mayor’s Office for the fine contributions I provide in the Business Districts. If there is some unforeseen condition in the terms at the time the tickets were purchased, he needs to take it up with the purchaser, the Mayor.

Alina also heard he wanted to draw up a terms sheet to give her hs share of the "No Salesman Car Dealership" as a gesture of goodwill. Also try renaming it "No SalesWOman Car Dealership.

Hobbs please wake up and smell the coffee.  I offered you opportunity to sell you Ford Model T’s at my dealership at a cost.  Nothing is free in this thing of ours. Instead of fighting me all the time you should invite me to dinner and talk business.

Hobbs frowned and scowled at the same time. His new Lottery Syndicate and life partner Alina had never sent him any of the winnings of the last round, and he was now in all manner of debts to numerous powerful people, including the very nice, very evil @Illuminatiated. Having seen what he did to his followers he was not a man Hobbs wanted to owe for too long.

Whilst he was pondering his next steps he caught a glance of the local newspaper printed fresh this morning. His eyes bulged out of his hard like a cartoon character at the size of the prize for next lottery draw. The prizes on offer were astronomical. The Godfather lottery was at an all time high with over 656 credits up for grabs.

 The cash pot was lagging somewhat behind, but still an impressive bounty for any perspective Syndicate and or Thyndicate owner.

 Hobbs returned to the poster and updated the date and time stamp:

"HOBBS LOTTERY SYNDICATE IS LOOKING FOR ONE OR MORE LUCKY PARTNERS FOR TONIGHTS DRAW. IF INTERESTED PLEASE ENQUIRE WITHIN."

<font color="#FF9900" size="1">Disclaimer: Hobbs will attempt to claim your winnings regardless, so you may as well formally join him to make it all official."</font>

Hobbs considered contacting Alina and asking her to join forces again, but he was still upset over being saddled with a dinner bill and still not receiving half of the last winning pot.

Iron Mike felt that Hobbs was an all round dithgusting individual. He had still not paid Iron Mike for $5 million for his loosing boxing bet on LittleBunnyFooFoo (Training a fighter in a library...Ridiculoth) Alina had made CRYSTAL THUCKING CLEAR that she wasn't going to pay the debt on her life partners behalf. With friends like that who needs enemies mused Iron Mike.

As he flicks though his daily newspaper (Mike didn't read he just liked looking at the pictures) he notices the lottery prize announcement. Thatth a lot of thcratch. He picks up his telephone & despite his distaste for the man dials his old gambling buddy Hobbs.

"Hobbth its Mike...Don't hang up, I am not threatening all out war with you for the missing bet cash (Yet...) but thit man did you see that lottery announcement? Theeing as you have already cost me over 8 figureth with your schemes I am (much like Mrs HeadCoach's yoga instructor) in too deep to pull out. We can do this thing one more time for old times sake. WHEN we win you will settle up on the boxing bet right. We could even use somet of the cash to hire a hit man to save you another messy divorce if your life partner isn't giving you any thathithfaction? What do you say?"

Hobbs was not sure how Mike had found him at the Phonebooth in the streets. He looked around to make sure there wasn't nefarious snipers lurking on any high buildings near by to pay Hobbs back for all his arrogant misdeeds. He took the phone from an annoyed looking an old lady, and snatched the purse right out of her hand as well before sending her on his way.

"Why, if it isn't MikeTyson calling for round three. Pardon me for being 'thuthpiciouth' Mike but I suspect the only reason you are contacting me now is due to the success of my life partner and Thyndicate associate Alina, and you've decided you want to get yourself a piece of that sweet, sweet pie. The pie being the lottery Michael, not my lovely friend Alina..."

Hobbs paused to take a peak inside the purse. $224 and a bobby pin as well as pair of glasses he immediately put on his face.

"Twice already you've tried me into trying to buy the pot. Twice we have failed. Why would this time be different? Sure I can see you strutting around you're the number one VIP, but why should I trust a man who can't even say the word Assassin? Go on, try it. If you can say it to my thatithfacthion I will consider your request to be part of the greatest (and only) Mafia Lottery Syndicate Thyndicate in town."

Hobbs took the glasses off dangled them off the front of his dungarees.

"I'm only talking to you because I love the smell of money. I do not like the cut of your jib, or your ridiculouth sounding voice. You still haven't paid me for my commentary, so if anything you owe me money..."

It takes every fibre of Mikes being to resist the urge to smash the phone into a million pieces & start a rival lottery thyndicate but as the NEW number 1 ranked sports entertainer in the country he had to lead by example.

He counts to 10 while Hobbs is banging on to regain his composure & idly wonders if thupothed life partner Alina is some sort of beard for Hobbs.

"Listen friend (Through gritted teeth) I may have difficulties with the word aththaththin but athide from my 8 figure loss on the lottery I am the greatest gambler in the world. Just look at latht weekth horthe racing results. $700,000 buckth in Iron Mikes pocket. Money for old rope. I know it goes againtht everything you stand for, but for once in your life, be a winner. Join me & celebrate as the giant lottery pot comes back to mug city. I already have over 4 million counterfeit lottery ticketh printed & bethides you know the saying third time is the charm....You know it maketh thenthe..."

Alina considered not doing business with Hobbs again.  First of all he can’t get it through his thick head that the Mayor is responsible for said Lottery Thyndicate tickets.  She received jack shit from neither him nor the organization. 

Now she has been really kind to him because she feels he’s a respectable man, but he is taking things to the extreme.  She accepted partnership in his organization without prejudice that he so generously committed her to. President of his fan club, she thinks not but secured a very capable person to handle his 15 members fan club and in less than 3 days it’s now a total of 76.  So it does appears he has a following out there.

He asked her to front the 5 million dollar bet on a fight for him which she agreed.  He gives her an address to make the drop, after being driven around for 2 hours, stopping at several telephone booths to phone his ass, no luck and the address didn’t exist.  Then she has MikeTyson bad mouthing her about reneging on the cash, not to mention the disaster at the car dealership. 

It’s like damn does she really need the drama?

Once again Void was met with the excited chatter of a very nasal voice when he was walking down the streets of Vegas. Looking over his shoulder he spotted Hobbs once more attempting to entice innocent mobsters into dumping their cash into the bottomless pit known as the "Lottery Thyndicate".
Being unable to bear this morally corrupt display any longer Void once more stepped up to him to try and talk some sense into the man.

"Hobbs How many times do I have to tell you that this is a fruitless exercise? Do you not remember what happened last time? And then you proceed to shamelessly lay claim to someone else's winnings. Just disgraceful really. This is fated to end just like your boxing career I'm afraid, loss after loss after loss."

Void turns to the crowd of mobsters hestitant to sign up.

"Now of course I would personally never join a swindle like this, but I can offer some advice to whoever would be interested in joining."

Void takes a marker out of his pocket and drags it across a certain sentence on the poster.

Hobbs is entitled to 50% of the lottery win.

"My advice is as follows: buy a grand total of 1000 tickets (sounds like a lot, right?) then in the VERY VERY SMALL CHANCE that lady luck is drunk tonight and gives the win to that shyster Hobbs, lay claim to the other 50% (or 25% if someone else also joins?) of the lottery win."

"Mike, I've changed my mind about you. Third time's the charm. Let's make beautiful lottery babies together my friend. Except....."

Hobbs frowned and looked at the poster behind him. It did clearly state in the criteria that one must not be Mike Tyson, as well as the final criteria asking the person to explain why they were better than Mike Tyson.

"I'm not going to lie we've hit a bit of a snageroo over here. The poster clearly states you aren't allowed to join my Syndiciate Tyndicate due to previous past misdemeanours. The only way we can bypass rule #2 is if you explain clearly why you, MikeTyson, is better than MikeTyson. Can you do that? Take five minutes. Get some composure then call me back....

Oh and Michael - try do it without getting spit down the phone, I can practically feel it dripping into my earlobe."

Hobbs put the phone down and walked back to find Void rubbing the poster like a delicate crab.

"Void, you think you're deterring people with that? The last few weeks have been won by 1% jobs. Those are exactly the kind of people I want in my Syndicate! Have you got any tickets? Are you joining? IT'S THE BIG ONE TONIGHT MY FRIEND."

Hobbs pointed to a newly erected billboard behind him with the latest totals:

 And for the cash prize:

"I don't know about you my friend, but I feel magic in the air tonight. Some unwitting person is going to make me a very happy man by winning and joining my Syndicate." 

Iron Mike hangs up the phone with a sigh. Thuck it then the lottery is coming back to Mug City tonight without friend Hobbs. 

He picks up the phone & dials his math geekth. "Yes that's right, 5 million more tickets for the cash lottery. Yes I know that's a big number. I don't pay you pencil necked dweebs to give me backsass! What the THUCK do you mean I dont pay you anyway...I will bash your thucking head in. Get down to the 7/11, buy the dam tickets. DO NOT miss out on buying the tickets for the high rollers lottery either!"

The math geekth tries to explain to Iron Mike how this plan is doomed to failure & some nerd with 1% of all tickets would likely win but Mike didn't want to hear it. He repeats the mantra 'Third times the charm' over and over again to himself. It must be Hobbs who is bad luck, without him Iron Mike would surely step up from being the Number 1 Man in sports entertainment to a lottery winner, he was sure of it.

The Lottery was over. The results were in! Another great night of action resulting in another Mafia Lottery Syndiciate Thyndicate victory for Hobbs and his associates. Hobbs was ready to throw ticket tape parade in celebration, but first he had to get hold of his partners to make sure they understood in no uncertain terms that the deal was done.

"Firstly a very firm congratulations to Bianca for scooping up the cash prize. A magnificent effort with only 0.95% of the vote. That just shows Void and his doubts exactly why every little ticket helps!"

Hobbs punched the air in a manly way for there was no way Bianca wouldn't want to be part of this one.

"Next for the main event, the very capable @EduardoCojones scooped up the pot taking a magnificent number of 898 of the finest Godfather credits in town. Now for this one I took precautions as I had sneaky suspicion he may have bought the pot for himself. My friend @Sosabowski and rival BBB can testify of the Syndicate Thyndicate arrangement being agreed in public in the local Lounge on Main street."

Hobbs was really excited about this one

"If you can transfer me my share of the pot as soon as you are able I will immediately put the funds into good use by building an even bigger, and better public library along with an orphanage and brand new Car dealership down in Detroit; sole owner, William Hobbs."

Alina was in the office of The Lottery Thyndicate going over the books.  Hobbs hadn’t been in the office in a few days, probably gallivanting around perusing the position of President.  

While examining the paperwork she noticed that MikeTyson had bought lottery tickets and won $51,802,772 Cash and nothing recorded where he had paid up any percentage.  She didn’t even buy lottery tickets, the Mayor did and Hobbs consistently battered her for his share. 

It cross her mind that since her wrist was one hundred percent better she needed to stop by Iron Mike’s muscles training place and thank Mr. Gill for getting her swole.

Anyway she wondered what was up with that shit. Was MikeTyson someone special? Maybe they made a private arrangement?  Maybe it was because he was one of Mug city’s finest and considered @Hobb a pasty faced weirdo?

She was curious about this situation but it wasn’t her place to go chasing him down for his share of whatever he owed even though he falsely accused her of owing.  She just left a note for Hobbs.

Hobbs hadn’t been in The Lottery Thyndicate office in a few days.  Alina didn’t know if she should be concern or not.  Did people not know Hobbs a sharing partner in all victories?  She didn’t know if he had made a special arrangement with Bianca but there was nothing on the books. 

And who is this dude from Downtown, LA, luciano_lucky who just won $53,897,469 Cash.  Don’t think he is going to be very lucky dealing with Hobbs.

Even though Hobbs has bad mouthed her, placed her in awkward financial predicaments, rumors he’s a horse burner or murder and proclaiming "Chicago are not Very Nice People. They are Very Evil People, Alina still decided to remain is life time partner.

She made her way over The Lottery Thyndicate office.  She parked her car and as she turned to corner to enter the building the employees were on strike, outside with picket signs and everything. 

As I walked up to the building I heard his accountant say “There Alina, Hobbs life time partner.”  She wanted to run the other way but didn’t.

“Where is Hobbs, we haven’t seen him in weeks.  Thought he was a legit businessman, thought these lottery winner were going to pay him a percentage of their winnings so he could pay us” What’s the story Alina, his life time partner.”

“Hold on” Alina told them “let me go into the office and look over the books.”

Sure enough Hobbs hadn’t collect any interest from the winners. In fact last week’s Lucky Bastards,

RhubarbGin won $393,043,902 Cash and twigs won 162.00 Credits, not one dime was paid to Hobbs.

Alina told them she didn’t know exactly what was going on.  She paid them out of her  own pocket then asked them to please put down their pickets signs get back to work and she would try and get in touch with Hobbs.

As they settled down and she left the office she thought to herself if Hobbs has lost interest in his The Lottery Thyndicate he needs to shut it down.

"With the death of my life partner Alina, along with all other members of the Mafia Lottery Thyndicate Syndicate I'm keen to announce that I am once again recruiting for fresh partners to join me in my crusade for wealth, prestige and power. I will also be seeking to take control of Alina's estate to ensure our children are well cared for."

Hobbs clapped his hands excitedly

"In other news, I'm delighted to announce that FartBarf has agreed to join my syndicate, and pay me half of his $53 million lottery win. I will of course look to put this to good use, by opening a new orphanage in Summerlin to help the children of the most recent conflict. The reality is that nobody understands a word Mr Fart says, and thus he will be unable to argue his way out of paying me the money."

Hobbs nodded

"Finally, I've just been advised by my accountant that I can expect LucatielOfMirrah to put down the knives and send across 29 of the Godfather's finest credits. I would appreciate if you could to that immediately, as I have a bank balance to recover following a series of private flights."