"And another day begins on the links, with less than 48 hours remaining in the competition. Things are getting tight at the top, with a three-way tie for third place currently taking place. Will some late entrants come in to shake things up?

Today we have a rematch from yesterday's exciting pairing of MikeTyson and Fat_Horse. Iron Mike is on his second of three pre-paid rounds, while Horsey prefers to pay per round.

Iron Mike plays much better today, improving his round by a full six strokes to finish with an impressive 71 for the day, -5 under par. He notably eagles both the ninth and seventeenth holes, while also sprinkling in six birdies and five bogeys.

Horsey on the other hand struggles mightily compared to his first round, doing ten strokes worse than the previous day, with a +9 over par 85. He does sink eagles on three and twelve, but registers a soul crushing three triple bogeys, two double bogeys, and four single bogeys. A rough round, but still not quite as bad as HeadCoach, the reigning worst round crown holder.

After twenty-two rounds played over 5+ days, here is the current leaderboard:

1 - BeefWellington Round 3 (-7)
T2 - MikeTyson Round 2 (-5)
T2 - LittleBunnyFooFoo (-5)

T3 - Fat_Horse Round 1 (-2)
T3 - Cheetara (-2)
T3 - luciano_lucky Round 1 (-2)
T4 - Ray_Gillette Round 1 (-1)
T4 - luciano_lucky Round 3 (-1)
T4 - Sosabowski 2 (-1)
T5 - Alina (0)
T5 - BeefWellington Round 2 (0)
T6 - MikeTyson Round 1 (+1)
T6 - Hobbs (+1)
T7 - Sosabowski (+3)
T7 - Ray_Gillette Round 2 (+3)
8 - luciano_lucky Round 2 (+4)
9 - Swarles (+6)
10 - Salvatore-Lucchese (+8)
11 - @Fat Horse Round 2 (+9)
12 - BeefWellington Round 1 (+9)
13 - Ray_Gillette Round 3 (+11)
14 - HeadCoach (+12)

"Eager to get back out on the course, MikeTyson pairs up with Sosabowski, who has just paid for his third and final round. Both golfers have played the course twice already, so they should have a decent handle on things.

Iron mike once Can't quite match his performance from earlier in the day, as he struggles particularly on holes one, eleven, and eighteen. He triple bogeys each hole, effectively canceling out his nice play elsewhere, which includes seven birdies and an eagle on sixteen. He finishes the day even par, 76 for the round.

General Sosabowski continues to be one of the most aggravatingly inconsistent golfers to play, showing mad skills with four eagles on the day to go with five birdies. However, he also drops a triple bogey on eighteen and a brutal max score 10 on fifteen, effectively squandering his chances for the lead. He finishes at -3 under par 73 on the day, an impressive day for sure, but not enough to dip into the tie for second place.

Having invited prominent local dignitaries and media personalities to bear witness to his final round, Sosabowski couldn't help but feel slightly deflated with his results. He had been elated, of course, when he hit his fourth eagle and his fifth birdie. These were all very good and encouraging things. The assembled bigwigs, luminaries and notables were sure to be impressed by this awesome performance. In fact, he was so pleased he had one of his trusty aided call ahead to the HQ, instructing them to mint a special one-off medal for the occasion. It'd look very good amongst  the neatly arranged (if modest!) collection already prominently displayed on his chest. Oh yes. The elation quickly disappeared though, as he hit his first bogey. It was just a fluke, of course. The wind hadn't been right. Perhaps it was the result of an unholy and nefarious alliance between the sun shining in his eyes and failing to account for the strong coriolis effect. But even the General's steel nerves had their limits, and on hole fifteen, they were shot enough to be eligible for a Purple Heart. One fateful misplaced swing, and the General soon found himself digging. And digging. He might as well have brought a shovel. The experience brought him back to the trenches. At least his feet weren't dangerously close to falling off.

"Sod it."

With a firm and unforgiving hand, he took the club that had brought him so much joy and pain. He balanced it in his hands, carefully considering it. Something was off — and it wasn't his aim. Someone had, obviously, tampered with his equipment. There was no other explanation. Some buffoon had obviously committed an act of sabotage. But who? A goon acting under orders of that elephantine shitsack known HeadCoach? Perhaps. But what would he have to gain from it? He had put on a truly pathetic display. Maybe an act of petty revenge? Or perhaps that inveterate fool Hobbs, who had, famously (and wrongly) accused the General of 'cheating' during their epic game of checkers. It was well-known that Hobbs was a very sore loser. It could very well have been him.

But this was not a moment for careful consideration. It was time to take action. In a fit of decisive fury, he took his club and snapped it in half on his knee. Or, at least, there was an attempt. Within moments, the General threw himself to the ground, writhing in pain and shouting colourful obscenities as the local VIPs looked on with a mix of horror and extreme awkwardness on their faces. To hell with them. Defying the great pain, the General commandeered a golf cart and set off. Revenge was in order. He'd roll into Hobbs' headquarters with a speed and offensive power not seen since the fall of France. With tremendous speed, he rolled through the lush, rolling hills, throwing up clumps of grass and mud as he went. He felt a presence, commanding him, driving him to go further, faster, onwards and beyond! General Patton himself was willing the golf cart to go, go, go! Hobbs, here we come!

A few metres later, the golf cart lay on its side, in a ditch. They had crashed. The small crowd of onlookers and dignitaries melted away as rapidly as Icarus' wings before the sun. All that he had gained from the day was a small report in the newspapers, printed in the smallest size known to man, just under the advertisement for ladies' stockings.

After a frightful day on the local golf course, General Sosabowski has been taken to the Boy Memorial Military Hospital for treatment. He has been diagnosed with a gammy knee and high blood pressure. We wish him a speedy recovery.

Fat_Horse has galloped back up to the course for his third and final round, with the goal of taking over the top spot. Perhaps shooting without a partner will treat him better?

Overall, he has a pretty consistent round, avoiding anything worse than his double bogey on fifteen. One eagle, five birdies, and three bogeys to go with eight pars isn't a bad day at all. He ends up with a 74, -2 under par, a pretty good score, but not quite enough to break into the top three.

Geralt returns to the corner once more with flyers in hand. He had them last time, but forgot to pass them out, like an idiot. This time he passes them around properly, so that everyone can see.

Special Announcement

"Cheetara returns to the links for her second round. She's had a few days' rest since her first round, where she shot -2 under par to momentarily take the lead in the tournament.

Perhaps she should have taken another day or two of rest, as her second round is atrocious and she shoots +8 over par 84. It's not the worst we've seen, but you expect better from someone covered in so much fur. 

We have now received payment from two more first timers: Bianca and twigs, and they will tee off as soon as they arrive at the course. Stay tuned for the exciting details!

Only 28 hours remain in the competition, so if you haven't signed up yet, pitter patter!"

Sandman Swarles decides he wasn't happy with his opening round and returns to the clubhouse. 

"Tell Geralt, I want to go again! You know what, two more times!"

He hastily slaps down the entrance fees. 

"I'm in it to win it!"

I have acquired the finest clubs in Detroit and took an extremely long and uncomfortable bus ride to the Blaviken Beach Golf Club. I am here and ready to hit some balls or something. 

I don't really know how to play golf, but my guard Mike Truk explains that I just need to hit the ball into a hole. I don't anticipate this being an issue for a ball legend such as myself. 

I am here to swing.

"It's the final day of the Memorial Tournament and there's a lot of action going on! I've fallen behind on announcing scores, but here is a roundup of all the action since yesterday."

He displays several large scorecards to the crowd in turn.

"Not a bad effort at all from our tournament's namesake, he finishes with a +3 over par 79. A couple of rough triple bogeys ruined what could really have been a solid round.

Conqueeftador struggles in his first round at the beach, only managing to get under par on five holes. He started and finished strong, but the in between was rough, and he finishes with a +7 over par, 83 stroke day.

Bianca's really nice round is undermined by a complete meltdown on hole eight, where she takes a max 10. Otherwise she plays really well, with three eagles on the day. A few bogeys sprinkled in here and there, but for a first timer a very nice day. She finishes +2, 78 on the day.

Queefy comes back almost immediately for his second round, and he improves greatly on his previous round. He drops in two eagles and three birdies, but struggles to triple bogeys on six and eleven. +2 over and 78 for his second round isn't bad, but it won't be enough to see him place.

Still to come today: Conqueeftador has another round scheduled for later, and I believe Illuminatiated will be here before long to play as well. Just a little over six hours remain in the tournament, so if you've been biding your time and waiting to see what happens, now is the time!"

I nearly forgot: Swarles also has paid for rounds 2 and 3, and he will be teeing off this afternoon as well!

Ian had only just recently started fully healing from the beating showdown that he had recently participated in vs Justice. His neck and back were sore still but he put that off to being old and under stress from the life of Crime. He had been flipping through the local reports that sat on his desk; one in particular caught his eye. 

Note from: Swarles - "Hey boss, I'm going to be slightly less around than normal in the near future - GOLF TOURNEY!! Love Swarles. 

Ian scanned the note once more and raised an eyebrow. 

"Maria? MARIA. Get in here please!" Ian requested of his secretary who immediately scurried in to his office. "Maria, what the fuck is this I'm hearing about a golf tournament?" Maria filled him in on the going-ons of Geralt's Golf Tournament before shuffling off to the other work that she had been neglecting. Ian weighed the pros and cons for a moment and figured hey what the hell, couldn't go worse than the boxing Semi-Finals. Making sure that he had on his best golfing outfit, Ian made his way to the Streets and slipped Geralt the entry fee.

"Alright I'm in."

"The rounds are really beginning to pile up here at the Beach, as the tournament draws nearer to a close and last minute entrants scramble to get a round in. I have six more rounds to announce."

He once again holds up the enlarged scorecards for the crowd to see.

Sandman Swarles returns to Blaviken Beach for a second round, and it's a stark improvement on his first round. He still sees his share of sand traps, but he also finds FOUR eagles on the day. He has a brutal time on the eleventh hole, taking a max 10. If not for that and a triple bogey on thirteen, he'd probably be in the places. But as it sits, he shoots a +1 over par 77.

The twigmeister's second round is a swell one, as he avoids anything worse than a double bogey on six. He maintains par on eight holes and shoots birdies or better on seven of them. At the end of the round he's looking at a solid 72, good for -4 under par. Very nice, but not enough to bump out FooFoo or Iron Mike.

Conqueeftador's third round is much like his first, as he struggles to score under par on all but four holes. After a while those bogeys add up, and despite an eagle (and near hole in one) on eighteen, he finishes with an ugly 82 on the day, +6 over par.

Sandman returns for a third round, and while it's a large improvement from his previous two, it won't be enough to crack the top three. He eagles twice and birdies five times, but several bogeys and a max 10 on hole six hamper his final score. He finishes with a 75, -1 under par.

twigs third and final round isn't quite as nice as his second. Things are looking good until hole sixteen, where he triple bogeys and then follows up with a double bogey on seventeen. He finishes the day +1 over par. 77 on the round.

Illuminatiated comes through for a round, and he's probably wishing he didn't afterwards. He fails to get under par on all eighteen holes, starting the day with seven consecutive bogeys+ before even getting a par. He finishes with an abysmal total of a triple bogey, four double bogeys, six bogeys, and seven pars for the day. When it's all added up, he finishes with a seventeen over par 93 for the round, taking the worst round crown off of HeadCoach's head with ease.

We are now caught up, all paid rounds have been played. Just under four hours remain in the tournament, with the current top three still the same:

1 - BeefWellington Round 3 (-7)
T2 - MikeTyson Round 2 (-5)
T2 - LittleBunnyFooFoo (-5)

Conqueeftador sat on a small hill, visibly and audibly struggling. His face flush and panting heavily, he wiped his furrowed brow with a small towel, yellowing with perspiration. 

"Nobody told me we'd have to walk the course and carry these stupid fucking clubs around." Conqueeftador tossed the bag and it slowly rolled down the hill next to him. 

I... I don't know how or why people enjoy this godforsaken game. But I want to thank Geralt for hosting it and inviting me out to this HELLHOLE. 

Good hustle out there today. Orange slices all around.  

Geralt returned to the corner to announce the final scores and winners. It had been a wonderful week full of tons of fun.

"Firstly a huge thank you to everyone who took part in the competition. I feel like it went fairly well, and I may be able to do something similar in the future like this. A big thank you must go out as well to Squishy, who is providing the bulk of the prizes. Please be patient with him, he will pay them out at his convenience!

The final tally for the credit pot was 200 credits. The prizes are as follows:

1st Place - BeefWellington (-7): 50% of credit pot (100 credits), 1 Quad, 4 CA, 4 Drug dealing perk, 4 Super VIP, 4 PP perk, 30 favors

2nd Place - LittleBunnyFooFoo (-5): 30% of credit pot (60 credits), 3 CAs, 3 Drug dealing perk, 3 Super VIP, 3 PP perk, 20 favors

3rd Place - MikeTyson (-5): 20% of credit pot (40 credits), 2 CAs 2 Drug dealing perk, 2 PP perk, 10 favors

FooFoo and Mike did a one hole playoff to decide 2nd/3rd place. It was very close:

FooFoo Roll: 723

Iron Mike Roll: 633

Secret Prize for the worst round crown - Illuminatiated (+17): A refund of the 5 credit fee (from my personal account, not the prize pot), and a 60 day achievement reveal that I've had for four years.

1 pied piper for each contestant (BeefWellington, Cheetara, luciano_lucky, @Conqueeftafor, MikeTyson, twigs, Bianca, Sosabowski, Fat_Horse, Ray_Gillette, Alina, Salvatore-Lucchese, Illuminatiated, HeadCoach, Hobbs, LittleBunnyFooFoo, Swarles, Hobbs)

Once again, thank you to everyone who took part and congratulations to the winners!"

Thank you for the golf tournament Geralt.  You did a excellent job.  You made it very entertaining. 

Iron Mike has been on a hot streak lately, winning a cool $50 million on the lottery, Training the eventual winner of his prethtigious, hugely thucceththful boxing competition down at Iron Mikes Muscle Maker & regularly beating the piss out of all and thundry who would try to snatch the huge bulge from his pants (Wallet) 

Everything was coming up Iron Mike. He hoots & hollers like the hooligan he is at the golf awards ceremony.

"Whooo Hoooo, FUCK HOBBS, FUCK HOBBS... wait a second this isn't the effigy back in mug city, this is my coronation as a DOMINANT golfer. I have indeedth demonstrated the thkill, thyle & panache of a prime Gene Sarazen. I must also congratulate my mug city colleague & overall winner @BeefWelington for a fantastic round. Its annoying to loose the run off for second Vs LittleBunnyFooFoo but given she has to put up with a noddle armed pasty faced wierdo back at HQ I thought it decorouth to let her win."

Iron Mike collects his huge prizes and goes looking for famed mafia golf aficionado & sports correspondent FrenchieHorn to give a stroke by stroke run down on how Detroit DOMINATED the other geek city's at mafia golf.

"A final thank you to friendth Geralt who ran an exceptional competition. I must now be off to locate the scoundrel Thothabowthki & beat him at his new nerd invention 'cheating rules which no one understands' checkers..."

Iron Mike departs the podium to rapturous applause.