A DONATION, ANONYMOUSLY

Our shared history has contained anonymous benefactors before.  Who here can forget the horror of the notorious A FAIR Writing Contest which saw the identify of a so-called anonymous benefactor fought over.  Some people died over this, but nobody really important.  That's why few people remember and, of course, the death toll was in single figures, and subsequently dwarfed by the mass casualty writing competition managed by antecedents of Chris_Vaughn. 

BUT LET'S TALK MONEY - $42,000,000 TO BE PRECISE

The last edition of the Herald, an edition that was pulled and pulped due to a headline error (but an identical issue issued) pulled in $42m in tips.  That kind of money gets people talking.

So here I am, talking.

Who has $42m to throw around on tips?

LET'S SPECULATE

The following people COULD have done it, but that is not to say DID, or even WOULD HAVE done it.

Isabella - on her way to becoming the most proficient drug dealer this world has ever known.  Clearly rich.  So possess OPPORTUNIY is 100% possible, but MOTIVE is 0% possible.  Therefore, only 50% likely to have tipped the $42m

LiquidFareham - AKA Kuku.  A boring joke of a person, but may gave some money stashed somewhere, so 60% OPPORTUNIY , and 100% MOTIVE.  So 80% likely to have tipped the $42m

Rustam - Not much is known about this guy, except he's rich and has a specific type of ability.  I'm not going to speculate.  

Stiffler, FutureStealer, Scratchy etc - The current crop of CL - averagely rich, no measurable level of interest in the streets.  I'm going with 55% likely

JamesBaxter - the current De Facto Leader of the Streets.  Has the money (100% OPPORTUNITY) and clearly has a vision for the Streets (100% Motive), but has never tipped or supported anyone as far as I know.  So, we are only going to ascribe to him 98% probability.

THE TRUTH IS WE ARE NOT SURE

Can you help us?

Plenty COULD have done it but probably likely the The Herald took a loan out that they had no intention of paying back, then got the papers toilet cleaner to send the tip across anonymously. 

The only reason I think this is because she ran out of paper and was wiping her derriere in the mens toilets with $100 bills. The tip should have been $45 million and she came up short when doing the final transfer.

FutureStealer - put your money where your mouth is.

Send me a large tip to enable more newspapers 

You must have a death wish speculating about my RH man. And I do have a tip for you. Use the paper to train your puppy. It gets a little messy but nearly as messy as the bullshit that comes from your newspapers. 

I didn't speculate about your RHM, Isabella.

His antecedents did indeed manage a mass casualty writing contest. It's been written about at length 

I’m not the leader of anything, especially not the streets and I do not support any of this. I’m certainly not wasting cash on whatever this mess is.

Best of luck, leave me out of it.

Who Killed KingCharles?  JamesBaxter? 

Isa ponders if she should take up writing. Four sentences and she make a quick 10 million. The question is does she feel like doing investigative work so her writings have credential? It only took her a few short seconds to learn that the above mentioned 42 million tip was actually 5.2 million. 

What she learned about Chris_Vaughn had nothing to do with a writing contest. Due to it being X-rated she must withhold her findings. 

Isabella, your math is as good as your RHM.

If he hasn't entered a Chris_Vaughn contest, Wellerman will confirm the $42m tip(s) 

Mercury hears KingCharlesII calling out her Boss. She is confused as ever by this child. Since her Boss isn't available she decides to answer for her.

Hey there KingCharlesII. Who let you off your leash?

Due to the X-rated info my Boss came across, Isabella is at Church absolving her sins,  saying hail Mary's and paying off the Priest.  

Who killed KingCharles? So many people wanted to we aren't sure whose bullet hit pay dirt. Too many to count.

Now please, go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut before there is more blood in the streets. We need to be entertained.

Tutte - you wet yourself? 

I support Quality Journalism and do not support the ongoing crusade against Journalists (which, admittedly, has me looking behind me over my shoulder as well now, trying to make out any mystery assailants).

I would tip The Herald GENEROUSLY out of protest, but am left without money after the rocky fundraiser and the harsh taxes imposed upon it by The Powers That Be. Not even the reverse-tax inheritence fundraiser was left untaxed. Is this Irony? Satire? Post-Irony? Sarcasm? Bananas?

I DONT KNOW

My personal main suspect for the mystery tipster is jason_profitt, a man who makes big profit.

 After the recent so called "Rocky scandal" Andy decided to stay away from the public for some time to let things calm down. As he enjoys a coffee at his choice coffee shop he can't help himself but hear big sums of money being mentioned, as well as arguing about journalism. He thinks to himself: "This will never end, will it?"

 As he keeps hearing more and more, a name comes up, his friend's name, Tutte, being made fun of for his comments and way of speaking. At that moment he stands up, and starts walking towards the wanna be journalist KingCharlesII, that keeps making waves and false claims about people. As he walks by his table, he throws a dime in front of Charles and says: "That's how much are your speculations worth. Funny things are they." 
 Andy looks the poor schmuck and leaves laughing.
 

Mercury, consulting my journals, I tried to keep your grandmother alive when she was gunned down in mysterious circumstances by unknown assailants 

You missed out on the most likely explanation. The anonymous tipster thought that they were tipping The Harold, that edifice of journalist integrity and in-depth reporting, but mistakenly tipped The Herald, the stalwart of the 12th Street Public Toilets. Perhaps the money should be reinvested into the writing community in the form of prizes for stellar contributions to street discussions.  I will not be entering, but would accept the prize in spite of my lack of contributions, if offered.

simpleton, are you suggesting that the 42 million mystery money should be used as the prize for a competitive writing competition?

What a wonderful idea, only 2 issues remain:

* One will have to get an endorsement from the competition commission. The competition commission has been awfully silent as of late, perhaps this is also why there has been a steep decline in competitions.
* A trustworthy treasurer will have to be found who can hold on to the prize pool until the winner emerges. One has to be very careful selecting the right person for the job, lest the money goes to a non-entrant instead.

Membership of the Competition Commission is the second most dangerous occupation in this thing of ours, just behind journalists.