What Should I Spend the $80m My Lineage Scammed off TheBeast On?

Sole survivor of a Living Eulogy, TheBeast, was fleeced out of $80m in a complex confidence trick.  Actually, two of them, but that's for another day.

I find myself fairly low down the list of likely candidates for organised crime syndicates, so until my one remaining friend in this world (who shall remain nameless) seized power and gives me my own crew to lead into glory, it seems my lineage is destined to prowl these Streets talking truth to power before an ignominious and barely noticed death.

AND THAT'S WHERE $80,000,000 COMES IN!

It's a lot of cash.  I've tried giving substantial amounts of it away, but the recipients send it back, for a variety of reasons.

So, now, I'm askin YOU, what should I do with the $80m?

English lessons.

Touché, Balls

I keep hearing in order to have a newspaper it would need funding.

Yes, FutureStealer.  I'd cheerfully fund it.

I need solid proposals for a newspaper endeavour.  Could you arrange for me to live long enough to see it through?  Roya has a thing for shooting unarmed children 

So, here's what I'll propose to you. I will give you a home if you agree to these terms.  I'm putting them publicly so everyone understands.

1. You will continue to show your gun status and not maintain a gun.  Newspapers don't require a gun.
2. I will not ask your sources or question what goes into the newspaper, but if false information is reported, and you do not have proof to back up your claims, your protection will be lost.
3. You will not intentionally scam anyone while in my crew (whether deserving or not)

Let me know if you accept these terms.

Look here MrKuku, are you looking at me? I remember when I trusted someone by the name of Bonzo, he was tall, had rippling muscles, and fight anyone who crossed him; he was someone who reminded me of me when I was a wormlet, still going through the motions of being born deep within the soil, and then do you know what this guy had the gall to do? He shot at someone. Someone with a heart, with a soul, with dreams, and with potential talent that one day could have been tapped into: not only was the talent of that, sure, at the time, inactive gangster ruined, but so too was the life of Bonzo as I soon after shot him in the head, twice... If we're being honest, it was three times: I was furious at the man, to be fair, and sometimes my temper gets the better of me.

The worm shuffles deep within the soil, tilling it a bit as he thinks about what else to say, and before anyone else can respond, he shoots back up above the earth, like a rocket entering the final frontier of space.

What does any of this have to do with this conversation, you're wondering? It doesn't. I just wanted to gloat again about how I ripped Bonzo from the very fabric of reality for crossing me. Something that you should think hard about if you ever do decide to take up my good Godfather-Chairman's offer over here. It is a good offer for you.

Unless, of course, you meet the same fate as Bonzo and his brothers BonzoII and BonzoIII. May they all rest in their eternal slumber, deep within the soil with my less enthusiastic brothers and sisters. I hope you've enjoyed this talk. I sure did. Anyways, I wish you the best of luck with your newspaper if you do get the opportunity of writing it, and I am excited to see what contents lay inside.

I may get something fun to do sooner rather than later. Until then. 

He quickly plops himself back into the hole in the wall, his two beady eyes peering out, the only things you can see from within the darkness, just looking, watching, waiting for something to happen.

FutureStealer I accept those terms 

"This guy was given second, third, fourth, countless chances and yet, he never changed. His lineage was fucking up again just a few days ago. I don't know what you guys are expecting of him now. Did a a miracle happen and i'm still not a aware of it?" Roya says "As for him writing a newspaper, i have said this before and i'll say it again, he's not unbiased. Also, he's a liar. Soon he will start making up stories about people dying over the same newspaper or some other bullshit schizophrenic theory." She takes a deep drag on her cigarette and blows thoughtfully. "Anyone can do as they see fit, but for me, that's just a huge waste of time or worse, a shot in the foot. Besides, i'm not really fond of saying that infamous sentence 'I told you so'." She then adresses MrKuku:

"Sir, i have tried before to make peace with you, i've tried to feel sympathetic for you, but you kept commiting the same mistakes over and over again. My grandmother and grandmother's friends were hit with your lies and transgressions, so yes, i thoroughly enjoy shooting you and your lineage. Deal with the consequences of your actions." Roya drops her cigarette, steps on it and walks away, hoping (hopelessly) that she ends up being wrong.

Perhaps Roya, allow the crew leader that decided to offer him an opportunity to determine what should be done about him. As far as I can see currently he is sponsored and you have come out with a full attack.

There are many lineages that have been hated on our shores that have managed to turn it around. With absolutely no help from those that could not hold their tongues. When you get a family you can choose not to give him a chance. Until then, what is it of your concern?

Roya looks to the side and sees a strange person speaking to her. Instead of ignoring the gangster, she replied:

"I am not allowing or not allowing anyone or any Crew Leader to do anything. If you could please point to me where before i said that someone needed my authorization for something? It seems you're lacking basic interpretation skills. Also, as far as i know we're in a public place, the streets. One can give their opinions, even if unsolicited. Who are you to tell me to hold my tongue?" Roya smiles "As for my problems with MrKuku, thats exactly what they are, my problems. I can hold a grudge, hate, dislike, love and feel whatever i want for whomever i want and externalize it wherever i want. If you want to save or defend Kuku so badly, go ahead, but don't presume to know me and everything that made me feel the way i feel about him, because you don't. Also, that's not the first time you've been rude to me for no reason, if i recall, your mother called me petty. I advise you to be careful of the way you speak with people, someone else might just say you're a rude bitch and tell you to fuck off."

My mother did call you petty. Have I? No.

Perhaps you need to lay off the grudges, you seem angry Roya. Live life a little and maybe do a little less verbal attacking. You might enjoy life much better that way.

As for the others you made claims of wanting to shoot someone sponsored. Who by the way isn't in your family.

Thank you for your generous tip though. Enjoy your day!

I can't wait to start reading the news again. The streets have devolved into petty name calling and weird grudge matches. I'm sure this can be directly correlated to the lack of an interesting and TRUTHFUL publication. 

I remember the good old days; sitting on the docks and listening to the young fisherman regaling me with wonderful tales from "The Harold." I look forward getting back to normalcy. 

This is real Leader of the Streets material. I'll be reaching out for notes on how to better myself after listening to all this. 

Roya addresses ZoyechkaBelikov:

"I didn't said i wanted to shoot, i said i'd enjoy it. And wanting or enjoying isn't the same as actually doing it, correct? Again, you lack interpretation skills. As for the tip, you're most welcome! I'm not above tipping and recognizing a good point on any subject when i see one, regardless of who said it. I would even tip Kuku if he had something good to say. But i think you showing off about it really shows who's the petty one here. Ta-ta!"

Roya smiles and blows a kiss.

I'll tell you what MrKuku if you give back the $80 mil you "fleeced" from me. I promise to do 3 things:

#1 Allow you a clean slate between us.

#2 Rescind my kill order on your bloodline.

#3 Give you the interview (in good faith, of course) that you've wanted for so long.

 I'm not an unreasonable man and this would be a very generous offer on my part. So, what do you say?

It's starting to appear like this newspaper could very well become a reality. 

Maybe I could do an agony aunt section. I feel I would be rather good at this. 

Hi TheBeast - it wasn't me that fleeced you, it was a relative whom you killed.

I'm a sponsored member, so I'm safe. 

Ethically, I can't pay interviewees, only journalistic staff. 

Good to hear from you again, and I'm sorry my great-grandfather scammed you.