Duchess, an accounting error meant you erroneously have $15m of my cash.  Please don't spend it.

 

We can discuss this later 

I'm afraid my accountant automatically forwards all incoming payments directly into my crewleaders account. Which means, as the defacto winner of the New Writing Competition and recipient of 35 million dollars in cash prizes, TinyTim can finally afford to hire a real RHM. 

TinyTim - if this is true, we will need to sitdown. 

TinyTim - this needs settled, and I'd prefer it was settled privately. 

I'm not really sure what is going on here. Did you send my prize money to Duchess by mistake or is this a judging/non-judging deposit?

We're descending into farce here. 

TinyTim I said nothing demeaning about Duchess.  Point out where I did?

MoralCompass, what are you owed? 

Rebecca wasn't getting nearly enough attention to suit her needs. So when someone said MrKuku had the floor she decided to take matters into her own hands. "I think not," Rebecca said before deftly picking up the floor and attempting to run off with it. "Criminal mastermind, coming through," Rebecca said whilst weaving around the people in the crowd. 

Nord bumps into Rebecca running away with the floor. Pieces of floor scatter everywhere. He looks around and then turns to Rebecca.

"What do you think you're doing, ma'am? You're not getting away with all of it. This is ungrounded. I'm relying on this competition to pay my bills and if I'm not getting any prize money I at least want a piece of this. That tuna can't wait much longer."

He kneels down and starts collecting the floor pieces quickly.

Has every valid entrant received a prize? 

I'm afraid, MrKuku, we have not seen the list of the competition finalists yet. I have to ask you to check with the Competition Commission and clear up this misunderstanding. It would be preferable if you could publish a list of all valid entrants as well as awarded prizes here, for the sake of transparency.

Between the participants being silenced, half the floor missing and TinyTim's new car, there are more and more rumours in the streets about this competition and I'm worried how this affects any future contests turnout.

As Hobo sought a new partner in crime trying to forget about the past mourning his friends & comrades in battle, he crossed paths with Kuroro, who proved to be a catalyst for change in his life. Kuroro recognized Hobo's potential & reminded him how much fun it was robbing banks & finishing organised heists, with Kuroro's reminder Hobo's focus shifted towards the underworld, where one of the powerful crime family led by Don Brogone and the respected Godfather Luciano.L reigned. Kuroro opened the doors again to this hidden world unvailing its exciting allure and endless opportunities

Not long before Hobo and Kuroro immersed themselves in the crime family, seeking to carve out their own place within its hierarchy. They met with GF Brogone, a formidable leader who commanded respect and fear in equal measure. Luciano the godfather embodied wisdom and power, steering the family with a steady hand, bless em

In this new chapter of his life, Hobo had to let go of the past that had shaped him away from the danger. Kuroro played a crucial role in helping him detach from his previous existence and embrace the life of a strong family, Kuroro's guidance became invaluable as he taught Hobo tricks of the trade and helped him forget the sorrows that plagued his past

With Kuroro's support He honed his skills, learning the art of deception and strategy. Hobo's bond with Kuroro grew stronger evolving into a partnership built on trust, loyalty & a shared desire for power and influence. Under the watchful eyes of GF Brogone and GF Luciano, Hobo & Kuroro found their place among the ranks of the crime family. They embarked on daring heists, orchestrated schemes & steered the treacherous landscape of the underworld, with each successful operation, they earned the dime, respect and admiration of their crew

While Hobo had left behind his previous life, the memories of the past served as a reminder of the hardships & sorrow he had endured, they fueled his determination to rise through the ranks, seeking a better life for himself and the Kins of those he cared about

Kuroro understanding the weight of Hobo's past, encouraged him to use that pain as motivation to become stronger and more formidable

Together, Hobo, Kuroro, GF Brogone and GF Luciano formed a formidable bond within the crime family. Their ambitions aligned and they worked towards a common goal expanding their influence and securing their place as prominent figures in the underworld. As Hobo embraced his new role and forged ahead, he knew that his partnership with Kuroro would be interesting in his journey.

They left the past behind together, focused on the present and strove to build a legacy that would be remembered in the annals of crime history.

So far, Rebecca, Simpleton, Duchess, Colonel_Ives, and MoralCompass have been awarded almost $60m in prize money.

Sixty million.  Boom.  Gone. 

I'm not made of money.  I stubbed my toe badly and the doc gave me some morphine.  I forgot the TOTAL prize fund was only $20m and started handing out eight figure prizes like it was nobody's business.

MoralCompass and Colonel_Ives got $30m for their piece of shit entry, and I had to pay Tenkai and extra million for the sheer hassle of dealing with Colonel_Ives anger and upset at the mix-up.

So far, nobody has died.  So I'm going to close this competition by asking for donations to be sent to me, directly. I'll use them for the next contest. 

Colonel_Ives laughs. You payed more than you could because you wanted. You let fraud happen in your competition because you wanted. It seems to me you're kind of stupid. Enjoy being broke and as i said before, stop harassing me. I'll ignore you.

The Colonel is hereby banned from all competitions organised by me.  The postal service will not carry his mail to me.  He is persona non-grata.  Let the ignoring commence.

If I had a gun, i would challenge him to a duel. 

So, I was going to involve myself in this little charade, and write a little story about a rotund, some would say, little fat man named Clause.  I have been put off by two glaring problems:

• It is run by renowned runner of fake contests, Kuku
• No prize would ever materialise, despite me being the obvious candidate to win said contest
• I could never do Clause the justice he deserves in 120 words or less, I would barely get past the part about him eating all the sausage rolls and vomiting all over himself, and his keyboard

Yes, I am well aware that is 3 problems so before you all jump on the "let's point some inanely pointless shit out" bandwagon; I just pointed it out for you. 

So thanks but no thanks, MrKuku.  If however, you could provide me of some evidence, hell, any evidence of you actually giving prizes out as opposed to getting yourself IWP, only to be brutally gunned down for offending some poor schlubs inflated sense of self worth, then I might recosider but, until that time comes, I will pass.  Also, I say again, 120 words or less, what a ridiculous caveat.

Good luck y'all though, you will need it. 

~KK

I believe the competition is over, Kelly

An adequate fourth reason for me not to enter, wouldn't you say, Duchess?

Kelly raises her eyebrows surreptitiously.............