Plagiarised? What the hell are you talking about?

We were having a conversation about you eating people, bro. Nobody had even attended that corny debate of yours until I came along. I bring you some eyeballs to a previously eyeball-exempt zone and this is the thanks I get? Give a guy a cut of your winnings and he spits in your face. Jesus.

For the avoidance of doubt, I clearly credited you for inspiring my story about you. Get over yourself man and appreciate other people's work.

MoralCompass, it isn't plagiarism?

THIS is my story.

Now let's take a look at YOUR story.

You exchanged a couple of words, gave your "feedback" on my sentences and that's it, so i'm pretty sure this is plagiary, specially if you shared it in a writing competition. Learn to write and think for yourself. Also, i don't care if anyone shows up for "debates" at my ramblings at the streets, i mostly write for myself and for the prizes i receive for it.

Now this shall be the last time i come here and talk about this, i'm sick of it all.

Have a nice day.

Rebecca blinked in surprise, having now moved to the correct location and double-checking what argument she was listening to now. "I mean given you searched the encyclopedia and only changed a few key words about the history of a man who isn't you, might want to put those stones away." she said to Colonel_Ives. 

Simpleton stood back at a safe distance while tensions mounted in relation to the most recent writing competition...

"You see, this is why we need a Competition Commission for all those who have mocked it over the years. Had it not been for the Competition Commission, this street corner would be scattered with bodies and bone fragments by now."

"The thing I am most concerned about is the sustainability of future competitions. It seems everyone wants to stick their fingers in the cookie jar and get a handout. Admittedly, I pocketed a few bills for my non-entry, but it was a fucking amazing non-entry so don't even question it. But, there needs to be some incentive for mobsters to run future competitions without being fleeced like the noble MrKuku has here today."

The two are barely alike, Ives. Sure, there is a vague resemblance but that is because my story is about you. The biographer doesn't plagiarise the subject, bro. Not possible. This isn't one of your debates about the abyss where you can direct the Q&A sessions. Have all those thin, short, young vegetable sellers have gone to your head? If I had known you would come here trying to steal the credit for my hard work, I wouldn't have given you a significant proportion of my prize money. This is the last time I try to do a nice thing. 

That was very nice of you, MoralCompass. You have the makings of a very fine associate. I hope you get the thank you that you deserve. Have you heard the joke about why cannibals are so angry? Because they're fed up with people. Haha, OK everybody, alright. It's a good one. 

Duchess and MoralCompass, a recent entrant has been cancelled, so you're both to share $10m in prizes.

Conract me to discuss 

MrKuku, may I suggest simply sending me $10m and I'll handle it from there? Make it 20 and I'll donate 5 to your next competition, how about that? 

I'd like to do that, but are you able to loan me twenty mill first? 

No matter: "Your accountant makes note that $20,000,000 has been wired to Duchess from your account."

Thank you, MrKuku, my non-entry to your competition has made me quite rich. I think, as a community, we can all acknowledge and appreciate that. A rising tide raises all boats. Congratulations on your well-run competition and to the rest of the participants and non-participants on their winnings. And congratulations to MoralCompass on beating his plagiarism charges, here's another on-theme joke to celebrate: Why don't cannibals eat comedians? Because they taste funny. OK, alright, hey now. 

Malcolm Tucker, the foul-mouthed maestro of political spin, had had enough of the circus surrounding the writing competition. As he watched bundles of cash being thrown around like confetti, he couldn't help but feel a burning desire to get his grubby mitts on some of that sweet, sweet moolah.

"Why should those wankers have all the bloody luck?" he muttered under his breath.

His eyes fixated on the hefty sums changing hands without them having to lift a finger. With his razor-sharp wit and cunning mind, Malcolm knew he could outmaneuver those pretentious wordsmiths and secure a slice of the prize without breaking a sweat.

So, in his characteristic blunt fashion, he decided to cut through the nonsense and just straight up ask for the money, because why the hell not? After all, he was Malcolm bloody Tucker, and he deserved his fair share of the cash raining down on that competition.

"I'll take my money in unmarked bills, please," Malcolm quipped with a devilish smirk.

The audacity of his request was both a testament to his cunning and a challenge to the establishment. He couldn't help but imagine the panic-stricken faces of the organizers as they scrambled to meet his demand. The mere thought of their discomfort brought a wicked delight to his soul.

With a swagger in his step, Malcolm set out to claim his rightful share, leaving no room for compromise or second-guessing. After all, if anyone could make it rain unmarked bills, it was the indomitable Malcolm Tucker.

I think the deadline for non-entries was yesterday, but I could be wrong. You may have to get in touch with the Competition Commission directly to find out for sure. 

Who Killed Zoom?

"Where's my bloody money? That's a question that carries more weight than uncovering who killed Zoom, given the rather intriguing statement during his funeral: 'No WS needed. See you soon <3'. It seems like a cryptic message hidden in plain sight, left to us by MaddyPerez."

"My focus remains on securing my rightful share of the cash that's being tossed around like confetti in this writing competition. I demand what's due to me, and I won't settle for anything less."

"So, if you have any information regarding the whereabouts of my hard-earned moolah, kindly step forward and enlighten me. The time for pleasantries and coded messages is over. It's time to cut through the noise and get down to business. Show me the money, MrKuku, or face the wrath of the one and only Malcolm Tucker."

@Malcoln-Tucker, what you on about son?  Are you threatening me? 

'To: Malcon-Tucker
From: MrKuku
Sent: May 25, '23 19:28
Subject: Request to the Competition Commission

Can we ban that halfwit Tucker from all CC approved competitions?  Maybe a directive to ignore him henceforth also?'

"Oh, look at you, trying to silence the mighty Malcolm Tucker! Well, I've got news for you, my friend. You can't silence me! I'll keep on about my money until I get what's rightfully mine. There's no need to resort to feeble threats because that would just be an embarrassment for me."

Well this certainly doesn't look good. I just received an urgent message from the Competition Commission. I didn't make enough copies for everyone so just pass this around and take a gander. 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

May 25, 2023

From the Office of the Competition Commission

RE: In the matter of Malcon-Tucker vs. MrKuku

To Whom It May Concern:

The Competition Commission has voted to sanction Malcon-Tucker due to multiple complaints from high ranking members of the fine cities of America. The sanctions will be in the form of fines, which can be made payable to the Competition Commission.

Due to the magnitude of these offenses and the passionate testimony from several leaders (including the LoTS), the Competition Commission has assessed the damages at $80,000,000 USD. Any and all future competition winnings will be forfeit until the debt has been settled.

Best Regards,

The Competition Commission

 I didn't even know this was possible. Have we given the Competition Commission TOO much power?! MrKuku would you care to comment on the sanctions? 

"Now listen here, I don't know who any of you sons o bitches are, or what is going on around here, but someone better be paying out them dollar bills"

Fenton was a man of business. He learned from some great teachers. He knew Mr Kuku's type, sneaky yet adorable, annoying, yet loveable.

"Sorry I can come back later if this is a bad time?"

"First of all, let me just say that I haven't received any official notice or heard a peep from this so-called Competition Commission. This reeks of a bureaucratic circus. Did they not have the courtesy to send a bloody letter directly to me? Instead, we're passing around urgent messages like we're playing a game of Chinese whispers. Utter incompetence!

Now they claim that I'm being sanctioned due to multiple complaints from high-ranking members of these so-called fine cities of America. High-ranking members, huh? I can only imagine the kind of spineless twerps who've gone crying to the Commission, trying to play their little power games.

And the damages they've assessed? A mind-boggling $80 million! Are they out of their bloody minds? They might as well ask for the moon while they're at it. It's a blatant attempt to bleed me dry and snatch away any future competition winnings. Well, they can sod off! I won't let these self-righteous bureaucrats get away with it.

As for you, MrKuku, or should I say Competition Commission or even Wellerman? You must think you're quite the master of deception, don't you? But let me tell you something, sunshine, your tricks won't work on me.

And now, you want me to comment on these so-called sanctions? Well, let me enlighten you, my friend. I couldn't care less about your imaginary fines and the false authority you claim to possess. It's all smoke and mirrors, just like this room MrKuku was interviewed in the past, a room full of mirrors

Now to bring the matters to a close, where are my unmarked bills?"