PUBLIC SERVICE - MY OFFER TO YOU

My short life on these shores has, so far, seen two attempts on my life.  Luckily, I am insanely well protected, and the assailants failed, and are themselves dead.

Is that what we want?  For people to continue to try and murder me, to kill me, to remove my formidable talents from this thing of ours, from these Streets?

I THINK THAT THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTIONS IS A RESOUNDING NO!

When not leading the Streets or being an associate of a powerful crime family, I am part of that noble profession: a Civil Servant.  That means I serve the citizenry, not individuals.  Everyone.  I am in the service of the people.  And I have an enviable pension.

I want to live to draw that pension, and that's where you come in.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 

Simply put, I am here at your service.  You can ask me to do anything.

EXCEPT:

Shoot myself

Retire

Do nothing

Stay away from the Streets

OUTSIDE OF THIS, I WILL DO WHAT YOU PLEASE (IN ACCORDANCE WITH CITY HALL RULES

WHAT CHANGE DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAD?

How about not lying, slandering, scamming, or shooting innocent mobsters, their bodyguards or destroying head quarters, for a start? You and your family have caused nothing but trouble for a myriad of people in this thing of ours. You constantly take credit for things you have nothing to do with, and do it shamelessly for your own benefit. These would be all welcome things for you to try, for once. You have been given chance after chance to make things right. This is just another cry for sympathy in your cycle of behavior that has grown utterly boring to most everyone. First you try and worm your way into a crew, then throw a tantrum in the streets, accusing people of misdeeds, while blaming this person or that for your own failings, begging for money all the while, and spreading lies about them to whoever will listen. Lastly you accrue so much debt that you finally self-destruct and shoot innocent mobsters until you, yourself get killed, claim innocence and blame everything on your forefathers. Arriving on these shores again claiming "I've done nothing wrong, that was not me", and the cycle begins again. You have no value here, no one trusts you or your bloodline and probably never will.

I have a very important task for you, one which someone of your calibre and VOLUMINIOUS MATERIAL WEALTH is most suitable.

Send me money, lots of it.

I want to buy my own printing press so I'm no longer dependent on greedy rental services.

Please.

@TheBeasy - why did you give a Kuku $80,000,000?

JackMonroe Out of generosity for a mobster of low standing, stupidly thinking that he could make a real and substantial change. Maybe provide some actual "reporting" instead of spewing lies and slander. Consider myself corrected, as I won't be making that mistake anytime soon. Now, tell me, why that low life mobster would agree to pay back that $80,000,000 and then not only not pay it back, but shoot one of my members for no reason?

TheBeast - reports at the time suggest it was to kill someone you disliked.  Were they incorrect? 

The MrKuku did launch a preemptive strike against selected targets.  In your case, your top earner and biggest gun was removed to lessen your impact on the forthcoming Competition Commission war. 

You don't consider hitting an enemy's infrastructure legitimate? 

@JackMonroe- The reports at the time were false, I never cared enough to pay anyone else to kill someone I disliked. As you should be aware, if I want someone dead, I will do the deed myself. A member of the Kuku bloodline came to me begging for money as usual. They had a beef with someone and wanted them dead. I had never before even interacted with said person. My contribution was for an honest publication. I mentioned to the Kuku that if they wanted a person dead that they couldn't shoot, that they should place a hit on said person. 

By the way, more lies out of you. The person Kuku shot was a dear friend and respected member, but was neither a top earner or biggest gun. Once again you're inflating the ego of a low standing mobster without cause or merit. 

Georgette stood there shaking her head repeatedly as the two people before her bickered, "I do feel like this is a prime example of the type of conflicts that T.C.C.I.M.F.A.D.R.C.C.I - FTSSH is perfectly primed and capable of handling." the woman said to them both, once more pulling out her business cards and handing them out like it was a sweetie at the all-hallows-eve events that the Americans were so excited about. 

""The Competition Commission International Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Diplomatic Relations Chief Chancellor's Intern (For the summer school holidays)" Georgetta said to them both, "As you can see from our very elaborate, exciting, excellent, and exuberant name, we're here to absolutely solve any sorts of issues of the diplomatic type with foreigners, such as yourselves." 

"Now could both of you please point out on this puppet," Georgette pulled a knitted puppet out of her pocket and deftly put it onto her left hand, "Where the bad person hurt you."  

Whatever amount of money you send to Harold, I want you to send me the double. That's what I want.

TheBeast - can I borrow $160m?

@JackMonroe- Will you stop being such a scumbag?

I'll stop being a scumbag for @$160m, yes, TheBeast 

Some people actively choose to be this way, TheBeast.

JackMonroe- That was a rhetorical question, you'll never not be a scumbag.

I know Matt, I'm ok with that. I just need to call people out on bullshit. It's in my blood. 

EZ was walking around the streets and overheard people talking. He didn't know this JackMonroe person nor did he know TheBeast or anyone else for that matter. But it was an intriguing conversation and he decided to listen and get a few laughs.

Imaging having the option of choosing to be a solid, decent person or a lying, scheming, scumbag, and choosing the scumbag route.

Doesn’t make much sense to choose the scumbag route, TheBeast, but some people actively make that decision.

Why be a scumbag when you don’t have too?

Yeah, but the Kuku bloodline always does.

Exactly, TheBeast.

That line has the choice to do anything else and they consistently choose to do their worst.

No one should expect anything else from them.