I continue to be moved by the tales of your exploits alongside the Kuku line, Hugo, and despite myself I am reaching an inevitable conclusion that Joseph Ligambi has not reached the requisite standard of a Leader of The Streets. Perhaps if there was an Assistant Leader of The Streets position then I think we might have our man, but the big job? I'm just not convinced. Maybe it is his total disregard for the importance of the position, his declaration that it means nothing to him and his plans to do nothing for the community, but something probably unsaid makes me suspect he might not actually even care about being LoTS.

That unease is further compounded by number nerds advocating for him which is a major red flag. The last thing we need are the Streets moving away from their time-honoured traditions of creative writing contests and ignored monologues. These are the things that make real gangsters. If I wanted to do Maths, I'd have stayed in school. I came here to make money, get some power, and submit the best damn 300 word essay on the meaning of honour in Cosa Nostra to a contest which impresses both judges and non-judges alike. As far as I'm concerned, you can shove your algebra up your arse.

Before we bring this debate to a close, would anyone else like to ask any questions to the candidates and I reiterate, Kuku, please don't embarrass yourself further by being disrespectful to anyone. We don't need to hear about how poorly attended LongLeggedLarry's speeches are unless they are about you, alright? Keep it clean, please. 

Whoa, hey, Tommy, easy now. I'm not sure you should be advising the current Leader of the Streets how to speak in the streets, Tommy. That's sort of his territory, you know? That being said, I have to admit I sort of like that frog and feel he deserves more credit. However, this debate was over before it began. I would not begrudge a legitimate takeover of the LoTS position, but that isn't what is going on here. This was a push to usurp a legitimate LoTS using a quantity-only based argument, and even the quantity of leadership has wavered back and forth (the "forth" coming from a disgusting display of ballot box tampering). The "quality" has never wavered. A leader must lead. Uncle Joe, for all his charm and decency, has no desire to lead, is ineffective at engaging back-and-forth conversation, and insists on referring to me as "Nephew", which, let's face it, is fucking creepy.

I will remain part of S.O.N., as will the rest of you. Let's put this matter to rest.

Todd has heard much about a potential leader of the streets and was intrigued by the idea. However, he felt that much of the arguing and advocating amongst the mafioso about who was fit to rule was pointless. Clearly Joseph_Ligambi and Kuku would both provide something as leader of the streets.

Todd steps up to speak: 

"Joseph_Ligambi has proven, in the last couple days especially, that he has a lot going on business-wise and has much to talk and tell about. He is also level-headed, has the backing of many leaders across the country, and isn't someone who is trying to provoke people for negative responses. And let's not forget his riveting daily numbers game that grants the opportunity for people across the country to win fortunes. 

Kuku, on the hand, just springs lots of verbal conflict and a couple contests. However, like it or not, Kuku brings much engagement to these streets. Even mafiosos who rarely speak publicly are showing up in the discussions that Kuku spawns. Kuku isn't afraid to talk about the things that others are, which is important for a leader of the streets. They need to spark discussion across the country.

My proposal is simple: two leaders of the streets. Both Kuku and Joseph_Ligambi can serve as co-leaders of the streets. They both excel in very different things but together they revitalize the streets. Joseph_Ligambi can help work to keep Kuku in check while also maintaining the large amount of discussion and engagement that Kuku brings. We had very quiet streets before Kuku arrived, do we really want to return to that?" 

Just making her way to her car from an extremely rare venture out of LA, Amira turns her head after hearing ToddChavez make his proposal. With a stoic expression, she pauses before getting into the back of the car.

"There is a lot to be said for quality over quantity. I would much rather see a modest amount of high quality engagement in our streets over endless rivers of inane, pointless, self-serving, megalomaniacal, pot-stirring bullshit that has been awash in our streets for so long that I rarely step outside anymore.

If we really have to play out this "Leader of the Streets" ridiculousness (which, if I'm not mistaken, was a title made up and self-bestowed by what's-his-nuts over there anyway), give me Uncle Joe for the love of all the gods."

Two leaders of the streets? Come on ToddChavez get FUCKING real for a second and stop this inane nonsense.

It does not surprise me that you're still a Wise Guy.

Kuku. At least it's more entertaining.

"Amira, I absolutely agree that the leader of the streets is a made up and nonsensical idea in the first place but everyone has bought into it so it exists for now it seems. 

And yes, quality over quantity of course. However, I'd argue that Kuku is the quality here and that Ligambi is the quantity. Kuku brings discussion on the streets. Yes, it's pointless and petty at times but most things in the streets are. At least it keeps us entertained and constantly engaging with each other across the country as almost a community of mafioso. The discussion and interaction Kuku brings is something that everyone can participate in. Ligambi on the other hand, while being the most active on these streets, doesn't bring much discussion or things that warrant input from the masses. Ligambi merely shares stories of his grandeur and the only action most of his street activities warrant is from an elite few." 

Kuku is by no means trustworthy or even a good person, but he connects people. Whether it be by people bonding over a shared hatred of Kuku and his ridiculous ideologies or the fact that he's willing and able to call out things in the streets that most people wouldn't. He has shown in the past that he brings discussion about things that would typically get people killed, discussion that is much needed about the current regimes and actions of the leaders. We need a leader like that, one who's able to show ferocity. 

However, he always goes overboard and has foolish vendettas against certain lineages. That's why Ligambi can help balance that out. Ligambi has his own strengths in business connections and cool-headedness that will keep everything managed if he works with Kuku on leading the streets. Anyways, I'm gonna stop repeating myself.  

The point is that the streets have been boring and quiet without Kuku. He's one of the few things that can get people chattering in these streets." 

Todd then turns to MicroManlet. 

"You aren't even crewed my friend, you're one to talk. 

I don't see any reason why the streets couldn't have two leaders, so please, tell me why not?" 

Clearly this is a contentious issue. My father was slain (GRHS) apparently for offering his backing to Kuku, by order of “Bundy”, or so the final words scrawled on a note left on his body would have you believe. Was this done to quell an eloquent, vociferous proponent of the man we have all come to recognise as the true LoTS, or by order of a jealous, odorous individual, angry at an outspoken yet dazzlingly articulate critic - in an attempt to silence the truth being shared about the lack of personal hygiene shown by “Body Odour Bundy”? I guess we’ll never know, unfortunately. One thing is for sure though; I too am a staunch supporter of the legendary oratory genius - Kuku.

Kuku for LoTS.

"There is a lot to be said for quality over quantity. I would much rather see a modest amount of high quality engagement in our streets over endless rivers of inane, pointless, self-serving, megalomaniacal, pot-stirring bullshit that has been awash in our streets for so long that I rarely step outside anymore."

No way, that's so boring. Quantity is great. Give us as much as possible. It's total silence otherwise. There isn't exactly a real estate crunch between 'high quality' and 'pot-stirring bullshit'. The bar being lowered is better than putting the threshold at a level where the streets are the exclusive domain of "Omerta And It's Place In Mafia Society" conversations. I don't understand this mentality when it's already so difficult to get anyone to engage. Gatekeeping an empty club is so lame. In fact, this Street Leader debate is the most popular speech we've seen in the last 20, possibly even 35 years. 

It kind of reminds of the time I sent Kuku off to be murdered by my henchmen. I think I'd killed a couple family members of his as well. Who can remember these things. Anyway, I organized a big duel event to celebrate myself - it must've been my birthday or something - and this masked fighter began to develop an affectionate but vaguely threatening bond with the bloodthirsty crowd, from whom I derived my political mandate. I signaled that I wished to speak with him, and asked him who he was, whom fought so bravely in my arena.

He removed his mask and said: "My name is Mr-Kuku Kuklinski, Commander of the Plumbers of the North, Leader of the Streets, loyal servant to the true emperor, Batiatus. Son of a murdered Kuku, father to a murdered Kuku, husband to a murdered Kukette. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

I had already naturally eclipsed the goomba rank, so was safe from his wrath, but you can imagine. You know.