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Heroic Hugo, Slayer of LilPeep Started by: Hugo on Jun 11, '24 10:25

Luis_Patangeli, if you would be willing, I would be happy to find you a mentor to fix some of the issues you're having conversationally. 

There is a former LoTS, one whose family have held the title for many generations, who I think would be happy to take you under his wing. 

What do you say, pal? 

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Is it a question of money?

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i thought the whole cyrax nation was taken out and replaced?
 

so cyrax doesnt exist

oh he exists alright. Maybe Cyrax has passed on but his legacy still lives on. Go take a look at LilPeep’s corpse leaking all over the sidewalk if you don’t believe me. 
 

Quit saying your father was killed over the purgings Luis_Patangeli that was only one of the reasons, and a very minor one at that. Hugo has already explained why you were targeted multiple times. 
 

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And then turn your eyes to LarryLongLegs. Transistor and his entire district were slaughtered weeks ago for not being part of the inner circle. What did Larry do? He signed right back up to the team. Insane behavior. You are the worst of us, Larry.

I'm sorry that you're mad at me because I'm not mad enough for your standards. I will work on this in the future. I have already began taking steps to join a anger-mismanagement class so I can fly off the handle at every little thing and yell at the first minor inconvenience of my day.

It will be a work in progress, but I hope you can understand that someday I hope to live up to the level of anger you feel vicariously.

Larry ribbits sincerely.

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I will offer the surviving purgers who are presently hiding behind protection shots, do NOT wake up tomorrow and shoot the person who selflessly worked to protect you during this debacle. I know it sounds idiotic and you probably all assume that is common sense but it has happened. Recently even. Shoutouts to you-know-who
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Hey, Luis_Patangeli, a wise man once said

"Hey they say life is short, bitch that's why my money too tall"

Did your late, u unstylish father have "tall money"?

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It has come to the attention of this constabulary that Crow - son of LilPeep is continuing his father’s tradition of deeply uncool purgery. I have been tasked with making investigations, and shall report back with my findings. 

At this time, Crow, you are accused of once again purging your own - in a manner unbefitting of a man of stature, and attempting to conceal the evidence - only to have the crucial witness statement emerge publicly and immediately. Your father was warned that this kind of double denim with brogues behaviour would not be tolerated, and was taught the harshest of lessons. One would hope the lesson would be learned by the son. Sadly, according to the complainants and witnesses, you have adopted your father’s lack of style, and are parading it with reckless abandon.

Crow, you are accused of the crime of “lack of style”. How do you plead?

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It's good to have the StylePolice back in town, and even better to re-live this monument to the LilPeep family's lowest moment and most embarrassing public spectacle. That man has got beef tartare for brains. 

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Under questioning, Crow has been suspiciously cagey, which is somewhat of a hindrance to my investigation. He may be under instruction from his superiors lawyers. He has however confirmed he is able to count to five, and that his preferred choice of show is a children’s show using puppets to educate. When questioned about the irony of his favourite show being a puppet show, the dead-eyed lunatic seemed unable respond. It is unknown whether that was as a result of a lack of cooperation or comprehension. It is assumed that - like the great apes - he may, given time, be able to assimilate knowledge and learn to communicate more fluently. This is merely speculation, however. Suspect still lacks style. Investigation continues.

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