Vinny came back out to the Streets. It felt good to be out here again so frequently, the wind gently caressing the curls of his fringe protruding handsome from his generic fedora as he stood there, arms outstretched savouring the moment. He had always known that taking a step forward into leadership would play to his strengths and in addition to trying to kill some very uncool people, he knew there was an opportunity to strike a blow for the good guys. 

Friends, fellow mobsters, lame squirrels; in an unprecedented move, I, Vincenzo Santoro, leader of the Style Police and de facto head of Detroit reached out to serial rogue victim, Gidan_R to negotiate a peace treaty between their bloodline and all future rogues. What makes me so stylish isn't just my winning smile (although it helps), it is my ability to think outside the box. There was a wrong that could be righted here and a potentially innocent life that could be saved.

We all know what happens. Someone sets up for themselves, the leaders get themselves protection and the rogue shoots Gidan at some point. It has been dismissed as inevitable, trying to protect Gidan by pretty much every leader he(?)'s ever had. He stands there carrying a decent amount of units, with little to no protection and waits patiently for the bullet to the face. This is how it has always been done and nobody ever bats an eye.

But not today. Instead of following rogue protocol and dropping Gidan like a sorry sack of shit without so much as a backwards glance, I instead invited Gidan_R to a sitdown to discuss how we could both come out of this without losing face. Me, dutybound like all the rogues who came before me to strike down a member of the Gidan bloodline as our sacrificial lamb to the Gods of good rogue fortune, and Gidan_R, hoping to be the first of that name not to be shot by rogue since time began.

I'm pleased to report after a tough round of negotiations, we've agreed a temporary ceasefire. I won't be firing on Gidan_R today. Well, not right now at least. Maybe. @Rowley, make sure you get this front and centre of your next issue.

This is the type of revolutionary thinking you can expect from the Style Police moving forwards. Changing the paradigm. Letting you all know about the inner workings and giving you a glimpse behind the curtain. You're welcome. 

Gidan_R is in cahoots with a rogue.

Death to Gidan_R.

Settle down, Toaster. Your boss had his chance to look out for the Gidan bloodline and what did he do? Shot a Godfather, a Don, and blew his load before the thought even entered his mind. That is who you are following. A man who would bulldoze his own HQ before he looked out for the perennially slain. You peaked with that story about HonestJohn stealing from the blind. Back in your box. 

Friends, enemies, badly dressed emboldened colleagues, I have now been standing shoulder to shoulder with Gidan_R for over 36 hours without killing him. In amongst all the violence that has beset and possibly been caused by the Style Police over the last 36 hours, Gidan_R remains a bastion of unmolested, slightly protected hope for everyone else. Has a "rogue" ever done more for the Gidan bloodline than I have? I'm not saying you should be thanking me. I'm absolutely not saying that. If you wanted to, I definitely wouldn't say it is inappropriate. But also, maybe this is the way forwards and Gidan doesn't have to die every single time anymore. What do you think? 

Will somebody please kill Gidan_R? This is upsetting the natural order of things.

You remembered his name when you trotted off to give his hog a good old rub after he shot your pops, Tom, remember?

To: Vincenzo_Santoro
From: Tommy_Vitale
Sent: Dec 13, '24 19:54
Subject:

Nice shot bud

Found your backbone now he's dead, eh? 

My money is on Tommy_Vitale. He's a journalist. Tommy has seen some real blood and knows all about being hunted and shot at. This Tube Bus guy? Probably has never even seen a printing press. I just hope this whole blood feud does not interfere with my early morning routine, which includes a cup of coffee and the MR Gazette. 

It was just a strange change of pace, Tom. You were being Mr Pragmatic in the lounge speakeasy yesterday, and slid into Vinny's mailbox so quickly with the congratulations and the handy-j for slapping your old man senseless, that to see you out here the next day with your big boy pants on pretending you didn't know his name and everything just caught me a little off guard, that's all.

And now look at us, having a smiley face, three-goes-in-a-row blood feud. The Gidan_R and every rogue one ends, and the Tommy V. and TubeBusKFCNoProDead one begins. What a world.

Anyway, I assume all the normal smiley face, three-goes-in-a-row protocols will be followed? An initial reading of Systematic Immolation of Thought before dawn? A three course lobster ravioli luncheon laid on for the victor. Who will you be naming as your duel squire? I will of course be taking applications for mine and will revert to you with further details once WhyIsTheToaster confirms.

I am not sure that blood feuds are good for business, are they?

You both seem to be stand up guys without wishing each others sons dead before you're even dead yourself. The Gazette needs a consistent editor and surely not one that is busy searching for the descendant of a rogue.

Can you not let bygone be bygones Tommy and we can return this world to the thing it should be? We all get filthy rich while the rest of the world burns.

Either that or just go full medieval on the fucker and end him forever. He deserves it but the Gazette doesn't deserve to die at it's expense. Make the right choice like I am sure you will!

Toaster steps forward in front of the crowd and raises his hands, as if to say "shut the fuck up, I have something to say"...

"As I'm sure you have all surmised by now, I have accepted the role of Duel Squire for TubeBusKFCProDead. He has signed the waiver for any potential conflicts of interest that may arise due to the $80 million dollar wager I placed on Tommy_Vitale to wipe the fucking floor with him."

"Which brings me to my next point. You guys can't seriously expect Tubey to fight Tommy, can you? I mean, just look at him. With those noodle arms and inch-thick glasses. There is no sport in that and you are all sick for wanting to throw Tubey to the wolves. Will someone please stand up and be Tubey's champion? Will someone enter the fray in his stead, and stand toe-to-toe with Tommy_Vitale? This would void my $80 million dollar wager, of course."

If you are willing to be Tubey's champion, please let me know and I will arrange the duel details.

Tubey versus Tommy

There can be only one.

Tom, your Dad was Striphe's LHM unless my inch thick frames are playing tricks on me. I would want to pretend I was just a little nobody travelling the world if I was considered an underling to retard extraordinaire CharlesBronson too, but facts are facts. Charles was the better man. That dunce was more qualified than Tommy-Vitale.  That reality alone demonstrates that there was absolutely nothing cool about him, which more than justifies Vincenzo_Santoro (in case you've forgotten his name again since you aren't literally mailing him this second to tickle his balls) leaving his face looking like a pavement pizza. 

Now that I think about it, pretty much the only thing Dad Tommy had going for him is that he wasn't Mokus, which is a very low bar. In this thoroughly depressing tale, the most unfortunate part of all is that he managed to spawn a whiney little dweeb like you before he was hoofed into the gutter. Desperate to gobble down the length one second, giving it the big one in the Streets the next. All this talk of blood feuds and before we can even get the preliminaries out of the way, true to form, you've gone and bought yourself over 150 men to keep you safe. My man couldn't even wait to hear the passage about how the toaster works from the Systematic Immolation of Thought pre-read before he's trailing after paid protection like Transistor when he gets a whiff of Kuku's asshole, terrified of a noodle-armed slap across the mouth. Pathetic. 

As 'pitiful rogues' go he lasted a lot longer than others in his position.

What does a rogue have to achieve to lose the pitiful title?