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The Burgerhousing of BillCorsica	Started by: OysterShucker on Feb 28, '25 22:31

Mokus was killed earlier today for Burgerhousing the late Otis. Did brent learn any lessons from it? No. BillCorsica is the latest loyal Chicago crew member to be Burgerhoused by the Chicago vampire stripper. When will the madness end? Mokus was a man of meagre means, known to operate out of desks precariously glued to the corners of Chinese restaurant office spaces. He was no tycoon. No Scion. He could often be caught licking breadcrumbs out from under the protruding area between his cupboard and the floor. But brent?! The vampire overlord of the Chicago mafia? And to do it during the wedding of Tyler Durden and Robert Paulson, whose steamy wet kiss set the nation alight? You expect better. Stop the Burgerhousing. You have gone too far.

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I would like to offer my condolences to the late brent. He achieved a lot during his life so quickly allow me to recap some of the greatest hits:

Become a vampire stripper at some point unknown
Established a crew on Jan 10th becoming the first vampire stripper to lead a crew to date
Announced the engagement of TylerDurden and RobertPaulson
Oversaw the decimation of half of Chicago on Feb 7th
Coined the term 'Burgerhousing' whilst failing to assassinate his LHM (one of two who would die in Chicago that evening); this is the practice of misunderstanding something trivial, failing to kill your member and embarrassingly having to demote them all the way back to Gangster
Oversaw the death of the Arianna bloodline multiple times, likely due to excessive chair clockings to the head
Inspired the Burgerhousing of Otis on Feb 13th
Delegated the arranging of the Durden-Paulson marriage to BillCorsica
Gleefully attended the marriage of TylerDurden and RobertPaulson in the Chicago Stadium
Perpetrated a final Burgerhousing of BillCorsica on Feb 28th
Slain on March 1st

A life ended largely as it was lived; Burgerhousing and watching the city go up in flames.

Will another vampire stripper ever reach these lofty heights again? I can't wait to find out.

Reply by: FatGrin at Mar 01, '25 11:40

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I am very disappointed there was no mention of how well brent mastered throwing sex toys at Spike.
Reply by: Coroner at Mar 01, '25 12:41
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Brent's steadfast execution of one final Burgerhousing before his eternal sleep was something to behold. Was it his undoing? Who's to say. What we can express with authority is that the man had personality, and for that will leave a legacy remembered longer and more favorably than someone like Walter, who was essentially forgotten even before his passing. RIP Brent.
Reply by: OysterShucker at Mar 01, '25 15:21
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