Epiphany sits alone at a table at her favorite seafood spot in NY, her legs crossed comfortably. New York has always been known as the Seafood Capital of the World, so it only seemed fitting that she order herself a glass of Chardonnay and explore the lunch menu.
 

Epiphany had always found lunch to be the best time of the day to plan out one’s ambitions. Normally, Epiphany’s silky mind was usually muddled with a thousand thoughts at once, like a crowded room of voices all screaming at once, fortunately she had came just prior to heading out for her luncheon, so her mind body and soul were all at peace and in a state of relaxation.

I’ve had an epiphany. As I sit here reading the latest editions of newsprint, I can’t help but notice how they all share one common similarity. That is that none of them are particularly good. Now, before everyone goes crying about disrespect, please understand that this is not my intent. Anyone can take one’s work and criticize it and complain about what’s wrong with today’s newspapers, but I’ve always been one to find a problem and try to correct it. This is why I have decided to start my own newspaper. Not so much start my own, but revamp a newspaper that showed great potential, but never was able to get past its first edition, which was really just a newspaper that was announcing a new newspaper was coming out.

And that paper is called The RoboReport. Founded by the late TheDonBot, the RoboReport already has pre-existing infrastructure and format, a format that has since been stolen by certain parties from this latest batch of news rags, so this will help me hit the ground running. Sure there will be some minor alterations under this new leadership, but it will hold true to the spirit of the original. And being that there were no publications, the spirit of the original is really up to me, which is another plus. So stay tuned news lovers! There’s a new SHEriff in town!

The waiter approaches to take Epiphany’s order. She wonders what type of seafood plate she should order

This is frustrating, why my mother's epiphany is being copyed into other minds?! Aren't epiphanies supposed to be UNIQUE? THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS

IS THIS A QUESTION OF MONEY?