We have not made a statement of intent for many years. We have been watching from the shadows. Surveilling the landscape and silently judging several high level individuals and organisations. We have not been pleased with what we have seen.

We attempted a course correction several months ago, and approached LeoMaranzano with a simple instruction - remove BrotherWinston. Let me be clear, we had no cause to wish ill upon BrotherWinston, this task was purely to gauge whether or not our simple instruction would be heeded, or if our influence had been forgotten to the annuls of time. Our demand was refused. Flatly.

It was then that we realised the time had come to remind you all that these cities depend on OUR benevolence, because it appears there are some people who have forgotten - or are simply ignorant to the fact that WE are the ones working behind the curtain of Our Thing. WE decide when enough is enough. WE decide where and when the first domino topples.

Several weeks ago, when we began the initial steps to reclaim the lands that are rightfully ours we reached out to funders and friends alike. We organised funding and put plans in place to cleanse our streets of the virus that has infiltrated our domain. The problem was obvious, the cure was not. Many days and nights were spent in the speak-easies, brothels and semi-legitimate establishments across the country, organising the downfall of Riina and Cadhla. The cogs needed to be precise and well oiled. Nothing could be left to chance, so it wasn't. We ensured every possible outcome was predicted and any potential spanners could be safely extracted from the machinery before it derailed our plans.

We had a strategy, and we executed it. Flawlessly.

We feel we should explain, however - we have nothing against Riina or Cadhla per se, nor Spike, JoeLigambi or any of the lesser mortals simply following orders. We have our reasons and our reasons are our own. If you need to be told why, then you're not ready to hear the why of it. All you need to know is: we saw a problem, we took steps to resolve it, and now there is no problem.

If you need further proof of our influence, look no further than MaveTheFox. We ensured her survival. Some may ask why? We say why not?

We are the plumbers. We are always watching. Our vengeance is brutal. Remember us.

The Fox perks their ears up.

Huh. So I am alive.

They shrug.

Didn't make a difference to me, clearly I wasn't doing shit. But thank you? Also, they might not be able to ask, but I'd like to know. Why ensure I survive? How does that benefit anyone on any side? And how did you ensure it? No one took a shot at me from any side. But I appreciate the acknowledgement. It's nice to feel noticed sometimes, even if it's just for existing. 

And how did you ensure it? No one took a shot at me from any side.

It sounds like they were rather successful, MaveTheFox. The most important shots are the ones you don't take. I think Babe Ruth said that.  

Fair enough. But more importantly, why? I'm not contributing anything right now. In the grand scheme of things, my life here means nothing. So why save an ant?

A dull ache settled in Matts limbs as consciousness clawed its way back from the void. For a few moments, he couldn’t tell if it was morning or midnight or even what year it was. His mouth tasted like dust and copper "has it really been 6 months...?" he thought as he pried open heavy eyelids, squinting against the flickering lights.

I for one, welcome our new pipe overlords.

Fair enough. But more importantly, why? I'm not contributing anything right now. In the grand scheme of things, my life here means nothing. So why save an ant?

Of all the things this announcement proclaimed, I think the most impressive is the ability to predict the future. This query was foretold and answered in advance - "We ensured her survival. Some may ask why? We say why not?".

Honestly, I'm not overly familiar with the work of The Plumbers, but it sounds like they disapprove of killing ants with a magnifying glass. Perhaps it was a show of the benevolence they've claimed to be known for?

I was sat looking at the events unfold the last few days and could not understand any of it. A regime overthrown, a massive show of force, an impressively executed tactical operation. Where could this come from? Who has the clout to orchestrate such a thing?

I did not understand, until now. Thank you for the detailed breakdown of this war. The what, the why, the who, and most importantly The Fox.

In the grand scheme of things, my life here means nothing. So why save an ant?

God works in mysterious ways, MaveTheFox, and so do The Plumbers.

We don't need to understand everything, sometimes just saying "thank you" will suffice.

This query was foretold and answered in advance

Yeah, that's why I thought it might be funny to ask ^_^

God works in mysterious ways, MaveTheFox, and so do The Plumbers.

We don't need to understand everything, sometimes just saying "thank you" will suffice.

But the Plumbers aren't God, and I'm an atheist, so I must know!

And I did say thank you.  

Really, I'm just bored and curious. This is the most excitement I've been involved with here for a while, and I didn't even have to do anything. 

I have many questions...

Specifically why did the plumbers allow Big Jase to be taken from us and are the plumbers connected somehow to the shadowy powerhouse known as the competition commission? 

way more fun being the bad guy, 

I love plumbing. Do you hold any courses to help me further my knowledge?

I am keen, don't need paying, love getting wet and cleaning poo up

The above is testament to while we have promoted Nike to the cleaner of the HQ. 
The shit that he has to clean up at our parties is quite the sight but he does it with a smile on his face. 

TinyTim we all got to start at the bottom. As long as I can get a few beers at your parties I'm game for shovelling shit

Sounds like the Plumbers were in the dark for some time and finally decided to make a move.

Kudos to the Plumbers!

Are the Electricians any good? Perhaps they wouldn't have waited so long.

"I would like to take the time to offer the (totally unsanctioned) first trade offer of the Swanfree Swansong. 

Dixxon you get as many swan carcasses as you can carry OR UglyInbredGeorge ‘s drool bucket. We get Nike to make use of his unique talents at the 12th Street Public Bathroom. 

What do you say?"
 

Drool bucket? I don't drool. I'm normal. If you've ever caught me drooling, it's because I was very hungry and a fresh blueberry pie was sitting on a windowsill nearby. That's so normal, it's insane. If that doesn't make you drool, maybe you're the inbred one. And I'm NOT inbred either. Neither of us are inbred, except possibly you.

The world needs ditch diggers, too.... and plumbers, and masons, you get it. Seems like a ripe opportunity to start a union, all of us blue collar workers and all. Who will step up and be the founder/president of said union now that Jason is gone?

Do I get paid Eala ? I'm worth of some sort of payment. I need feeding too.

"We are making such positive progress, I am proud of us all. Given that (the very obviously Inbred) UglyInbredGeorge is claiming he no longer needs his drool bucket (Which was fucking overflowing yesterday) and the fact Nike will be be joining the most Payday Positive ^Tm crew in the entire of the USA all we need is sign off to make this blockbuster of a trade deal happen."