1.) Detroit rebrands as a ‘Little Detroit’

Following the untimely deaths of personalities such as @BigSi and BigTed further incidents of terrorism, death dicing and other swan related incidents see the entire city run by the “little” children of fallen heroes, such as LittleSi and LittleTed. Twigs returns as a Bonsai tree.

BuddyBigPaw better be careful.

Meanwhile, the pressure of the job sees TheNewGuy age like John D Rockerfeller and SlimRagnarok put on more weight than Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle. 


2.) Kiel crashes the global economy

Not content with being Richer than God, Kiel continues to print cash faster than a Burlington locomotive. Eventually, after reaching ‘too big to fail’ status he sticks it all on a House Tops bet and crashes the global economy. 

Interlude (the #4 safecracker) and Ghostof2011 (the #5 safe cracker) club up with JohnnyTwinkleToes and Matt (the #3 and #2 safecrackers respectively) to put a hit on him. However, Kiel (the #1 safecracker) buys off the hit, bounces back, and reaches 100 units by Christmas.


3.) TonyTheTailor builds the first ever 10k gun

TTT takes up RAT-ing for the first time, builds the world’s first ever 10k gun, still misses a gangster on the West Coast, turns it on himself.


4.) SpikeGonGiveItToYa runs out of names

Following another year of rinsing the jobs boards dry of funds the Spike family line finally runs out of name iterations. Rebrands as something else, I’m sure he’s open to suggestions.


5.) PoisonousJelly makes Godfather

In a blindsiding move it emerges that PoisonousJelly has been concealing units all whilst building his gun at +3 a day. He goes rogue and removes the unsuspecting West Coast families, declaring himself ‘cappo di tutti capi’. @Tussy provides his pro shots.


6.) LittleSi becomes too selective in OC partners

Considering everyone else to be beneath him (here: People who are no longer welcome in my organized crimes), perhaps due to how much time he spends standing on roofs, LittleSi draws up a list of names to exclude from his OCs so extensive that he begins to rely on newly arrived gangsters to help him pursue his criminal ambitions. Rather than apologise, he turns to a life of purse snatching.


7.) Detroit’s open door policy backfires

Following the declaration of an open city (here: Open Detroit - New Crews Welcome) the country never returns to a state of rebuild. The Detroit real estate market skyrockets, with the 12th Street Toilets being flipped between buyers willing to pay up for the exceptional water pressure and authentic ambience. 

However, in a race to secure hands the new families become overly competitive in seeking out new talent - eventually hiring swans to fill critical roles.

Pickpocketing leads to mugging, which in turn leads to shooting at bodyguards and eventually the destruction of the entire city, followed by annexation by Shitcago.


8.) Matt learns how to deal with peer pressure

Following an incessant campaign to “auth” Matt, he realises that being bold is shit and shows everyone that he doesn’t care what they think by attempting to retire to a small village in Scotland. However, he is unable to work out how to sell the HQ, so systematically kills anyone who ever had "auth Matt" printed on their suit.


9.) RegMan becomes an acclaimed author

Having never really cracked the ways of the criminal world, RegMan gives up on the life of crime after a top publishing house discovers RegMan Chronicles: Loserville, CT, DT and signs him on a three book deal on the spot. He sells millions of copies and becomes a philanthropist.

In the fallout MichaelHaller’s HQ explodes, no one notices. In fact, has that already happened or not?


10.) @_____I_____ receives $0 in daily hustle transfers

No one can spell his name. No one even tries anymore, not even his mother. His tactic for surviving a war is to be too hard to add to the sheet.

Coldhands stands quietly and listens to BuddyBigPaw's latest ten predictions for the year.

As someone who's always been Ray Charles to the bullshit and Nostradamus on the real shit...

"These predictions are nothing short of Hogwash."

I'll add a future fact... some may say a prediction... Beluga gets too big for his blubber, the North-Atlantic loses most of it's water and we all have to band together to unbeach his ass from the center of the Ocean. 

Guys. who’s been leaking conversations to BuddyBigPaw?

Because this is uncomfortably accurate. I’m like already about 75% of the way towards mine.

I cannot confirm nor deny that TonyTheTailor wearing a Matt4Auth suit had any impact on Matt's auth. Matt has grown into his own and has been a delight to work with.

I laughed way too hard at this.

Genuine comedy. Most of the list are things that are really just a given, but the Matt one actually made me chuckle.

True and yet so real.

I thank you for this mr BigPaw.

I also want to mention, but forgot, there is a campaign for Matt to become GF by SlimRagnarok's suit. We will see if that pans out! Let's hope not for the sake of everyone who wanted to see him authed in the first place.

Once Matt becomes Godfather, I have a new suit to put on. It references TonyTheTailor and tips. But that is saved for another day and another time.

Wait, TonyTheTailor is giving you his tip?