Hard not to believe we're living among savages, Plaguey. This is a terrible new low for this community. beluga, inform Drieza we're mobilizing the full force of the peace infantry. Someone run a hand-delivered message out to zero-VIP Vegas. They'll need to hear about this somehow. 

After spending hours in prison, which, in reality was only a few minutes, I was trying to scribble someones name on the wall of fat people but as I began to chisel out BigEasy's name for the second or third time, someone put a bag over my head and suddenly I was out of jail.

I will be sure to alert Godfather King Prince Drieza immediately that we will deploy the peace keeping force of New York, which in reality, is really just Mellow whos drunk three days a week, Liam G, who is seen even less than Mellow is drunk and JoeKing, who is still suffering hypothermia from kind of snowball assault from weeks past.

I will have the cavalry on its way sir TextBasedMafiaRPGMan

I didn't even mention my anguish at the death of poor Billy. I have heard great things about him and how integral he was to the inner workings of Detroit. I hope Detroit one day can find someone to replace someone who did as much as he did, perhaps MongolMo? I feel he'd be a good BillyNoMates 2.0.

I have once again alerted my crew of dozens four that we are looking for the information on the murder, no, assault on Detroit's sovereignty. I hope this murderer, this maniac, is found, and before the cavalry who is yet to arrive, arrives.

I also second delegate TheNewGuy, please let our board commissioner prince TextBasedMafiaRPGMan know any harrowing details of you witnessing the murder of "big" Billy.

I will make a pyre in one of the bathroom stalls in Detroit to honor him.

Eala had dozed through all the peace related chatter, she came alive as TheNewGuy mentioned severe punishment. 

"As a non board member (But huge fan of whatever this thing is) I humbly suggest that the board SERIOUSLY CONSIDER this request. If the shooter can not be found I nominate EIkmilk for severe punishment. Possibly internment at the 12th Street Public Bathroom. Do I have a second or right thinking board member who will push forward with this motion"  

You couldn't have said it better, TheNewGuy. Someone needs to be punished, and severely. Eala has popped in at the right time. EIkmilk is a great candidate. He's a bit of a BillyNoMates himself. And he's not from Detroit, which is superb. Frankly, enough time has passed, and enough search parties have gone out, that I strongly suspect DetroitSimon is trying to cover something up. Something sinister. I have a feeling this one goes all the way to the top. The top...of THE MAFIA. Returns. 

I have received extremely alarming information regarding the death of BillyNoMates.

The killer left a note at ths scene reading: 'I wish I had as many friends as BillyNoMates'. As we all know, I was proud to call myself a friend of BillyNoMates. This means our killer would have had to have less than one friend. Knowing this, our suspect pool was immediately narrowed down to DetroitSimon.

However, when confronted with this information, DetroitSimon began to pour with sweat - digustingly, ugh, yuck - it was flowing through his shirt and down onto his pants, so much so he began to have trouble sitting in his chair, as the lubrication just led to him sliding off slowly, readjusting himself, and then sliding off again. I tried to confront him but became distracted by his constant slithering up and down this chair, the material now completely soaked through and sounding like when you'd squeeze a wet sponge, and in his embarrassment he started to mumble little excuses under his breath like, 'It's this humidity you see' and 'I don't react well to linen', but honestly I could barely hear him above the squeaking of his body down this chair and the slipping sound of his shoes desperately searching for, and failing to find, friction on the wet floor beneath him. 

Anyways, eventually I grab a coat rack from the corner and I have to sort of fish him out from the pool he's developed under him with the coat hook, but luckily - because he's so alarmingly wet - it's very easy to propel him across the floor and to safety, where a growing group of concerned citizens now swaddle the shivering RHM in towels like a sick infant.

And that's when it hit me: this man is no killer. So who is he covering for? Is this a case of Detroit fratricide? Are we now slaying our own? 

DetroitSimon, please explain yourself.

UPDATE FROM THE BOARD OF PEACE: THE WALL

The death of BillyNoMates was a tragedy. A terrible tragedy. Very sad. Something that never should have happened. People are asking how this could occur and the answer is simple. Weak borders. Very weak borders.

We are going to build a wall. A strong wall. A beautiful wall. And it will be placed between Chicago and Detroit. People laughed when I said it. They always laugh at first. Then they stop laughing. This wall will stop bad actors. It will stop chaos. It will stop people saying they are just passing through. Nobody passes through anymore. Very simple.

Some say Chicago and Detroit should cooperate. Wrong. They should be separated. For safety. For peace. For Billy. If we had this wall earlier Billy would be alive today. That is what people are telling me. Smart people. Billy’s name will be on the wall. A big name. Possibly gold lettering.

UPDATE FROM THE BOARD OF PEACE: PRESS SECRETARY NOMINATION

In light of recent events and the clear need for communication I would like to formally ask the Chairman Mr TextBasedMafiaRPGMan to consider my nomination of Milk as Press Secretary for the Board of Peace.

Milk has shown tremendous energy. Unmatched energy. During the recent Las Vegas situation he personally reached out to multiple parties urging calm restraint and responsibility. Some of that information became public. The fake news calls it a leak. I call it enthusiasm.

Milk talks to a lot of people. Maybe too many people. But that is transparency. That is access. That is what the people want. You do not want a quiet press secretary. You want someone who communicates constantly sometimes immediately. Will things get out faster than planned? Yes. Will briefings occasionally contradict themselves? Also yes.

But that is honesty. And Milk is very honest. He will be a tremendous Press Secretary. Probably the greatest ever. Possibly a very short time. We will see. Either way it will be historic.

Thank you. Peace.

I am more than happy to help you TheNewGuy I am sure we could tie TTT up and abuse him and make him cry for his mummy.

Just say the word and I will head over to Philly and bring him back here in a clowns outfit

Milk? Milk talks to everyone. I've heard he talks to friends, enemies, Romans, cats and even Drieza alike. Can we really trust a man who has such loose lips and soft hands to be a press secretary? I propose someone more active in the community, perhaps JamesHowlett? I feel he has the presence and authority with one hand alone to become the new press secretary for our glorious BOP.

Milk has already agreed to give away parts of New York to Seattle and they don't even have any families. How the fuck did he give us such a raw deal? THIS IS THE MAN PHILADELPHIA WANTS? We need opinions of other board members immediately. Someone contact Shane and big jason to discuss this. Not me though, I'm very important and delegate such matters to other people that aren't me.

Also TheNewGuy. It's disgraceful. I however am happy to be in such a group with Nike and BuddyBigPaw. I feel we strike fear into the mere heart of Philadelphia, and even worse, South Philadelphia. Sometimes I don't go there in fear of people NOT mugging me when I steal their money. Are these the kind of people we want representing us? Certainly not me.

The only way I feel we can circumvent this is perhaps we make someone else pay this tax? This tariff of sort? Perhaps New York will begin dropping tea into the Hudson to protest the action.

Gentleman, the time has come to tax Philadelphia. Old City, South Philly, it's all the same. A tax must be levied. And it must be extortionate. Peacefully extortionate. beluga, crunch some numbers. Nike, kidnap literally whoever you want. I'm greenlighting everything. TheNewGuy, stay cool, don't overwork yourself. Peace is at risk and we must fight to protect it. 

TheNewGuy, I'm happy to endorse your suggestion for our new press secretary. The case you presented is flawless; not only is he all those things, but everyone already hates him, so there will be no adjustment period necessary.

What is the world coming to when the people don't want Milk as their press secretary.  

I have a history.  A great history.  Some may even call it a legendary history.  Like every great ambassador of peace, I compose my messages in a tequila fueled frenzy.  Fabulous tequila.  The kind of product only China can produce.  Great people, the Chinese.  Maybe the second greatest people.  

My memo's? Leaked.

 This is great for peace.  Most even say that is tremendous for peace.  People come up to me and say "Milk, You should be press secretary for the board of peace."  Smart people.  Very smart people.  TonyTheTailor is a genius for the recommendation.  His IQ is almost as high as mine.  We have HUGE  IQ's.  Larger than Beluga.  Way larger.  Way way larger.  

My record of having my memo's leaked speaks for itself.  1 memo leaked.  1 world still at peace.

For those of you with low IQ's, like the whale, that is a 100% success rate FOR PEACE. 

If you don't accept me as Press Secretary, I move that we replace the board of peace with smart people.  Very smart people.  The kind of people that have fancy degrees, a good track record, and a fancy collection of hats.  I love hats.  Hats are tremendous.  I wear 3 hats.  I have 10 masks that I wear to the OC's and I always give me boss 15% of the take.

We can't have people with cold ears, advocating for peace when they can't advocate for warmth.  You lose 90% of your body heat through your ears.  Thus, the people with cold ears also lose 90% of their intelligence.  

That is bad for peace.  Terrible some say.  

Milk is the great ambassador of peace.  He is the ambassador of peace you NEED and Deserve. 

Not everyone needs a title to have influence TheNewGuy. Some of the most powerful figures operate without formal positions. Quietly. Behind the scenes. People forget that. Very mysterious. Almost intentional.

Boards evolve. Roles change. Sometimes things are left open intentionally. Strategic ambiguity. Very common. Very sophisticated. Some would say advanced and a reason why we need the Board of War.

In fact, not having a role can be a role. A powerful one. An undefined one. Hard to criticise something you can’t quite point at.

So I wouldn’t read into it. At all. Nothing to see here. No implications whatsoever.

Anyway, excellent momentum. Tremendous hats.

Truly the board of peace can only flourish from here. Despite the opposition at the board of war, we will maintain peace.. THROUGH WAR. Or probably something like that, I'd imagine.

I think Matt may be having a stroke, and I'm not quite sure whether its a medical emergency or something arguably worse.

I think we can provide peace to all who may be willing to listen in. I think our president, TextBasedMafiaRPGMan, will negotiate with south philly regarding the $100,000 that we everyone has to pay.

I couldn't imagine paying money to visit a city, especially not a city like Philadelphia! Okay maybe I will. Maybe I won't.

$100k is kind of a lot of money.

TextBasedMafiaRPGMan, what can you do to reestablish a secure and lasting peace on these shores?