Whitey had an immeasurable amount of trouble with women, he had tried to pawn off that old, dejected and defaced ringpop on so many women that he had become disheartened that no one would ever love him. Alas! On last time he polished up that old ringpop and strut his stuff down the glitzy streets of Los Angeles – trying to find someone to take to Paradice with him to shoot dice, bang floozies and snort lethal amounts of cocaine off of cory_chase’s ample buttocks.

It was a wonderful day, as Mr. Whitey had not had to use his AK. But suddenly an Eris-Ninja appeared and tried to seriously fuck up his day. So he pulled out his gat and pew’d that slag and that was the end of her. He had come to find out that the evil Eris-Ninja had been trying to keep him from his one and only true love – WhiteWidow. Whitewidow, the one whitey had been waiting for all his life. She smoked the dankest bud and sipped the finest sizzurp that money could buy. She was perfect in every way. So whitey glided up to her immediately and dropped to one knee – withdrawing the ringpop from that sticky pocket one last time.

(3:56:33 AM) whitey: whitewidow:
(3:56:39 AM) whitey: will you accept?
(3:56:41 AM) whitey: this ringpop?

(3:56:53 AM) whitewidow: is it used?

(3:57:00 AM) whitey: whitewidow: no

(3:57:03 AM) whitey: it is not used
(3:57:07 AM) whitey: it is freshly sealed

(3:57:29 AM) whitewidow: is it watermelon flavored?

(3:57:54 AM) whitey: whitewidow:

(3:58:02 AM) whitey: i have boxes and boxes of ringpops

(3:58:19 AM) whitewidow: then yes(;

SO IT BEGAN. Whitey, having his traditional Rastafarian-Nudist-Burglarizing-Arsonist wedding, of course had Cory_chase as his Bridesmaid and SpikeSpiegel as his best man. (whitey had to boop cory chase one more time before the wedding – but that’s a story for another time)

Finally High-Priestess SIlkfather of the Lets Smoke Weed and Do Cocaine in LA Church read the Vows and Whitey and Whitewidow lived happily ever after… For about three days until Whitey flew to LV with Cory_Chase, signed divorce papers and got married in front of elvis so they could stop booping in sin. (but again, story for another time)

Best story Ive read in a long while.

I'm not sure what any of this means. What is a ringpop?? And are you too actually getting married? Or are you gay with Cory?

Goku shakes his head in bewilderment.

Eepster walks by, pauses for a moment and shakes her head.

This one...I hope he never reproduces...

She mumbles to herself before walking away.

Cory Chase pulls out the old crusty ring pop that Whitey had given him several occassions ago. It seemed like many moons since he had taken this ring pop and it has done nothing but rot in the bottom of his pocket.

"This is mad!! Getting married and already wanting a divorce! How many more of these ring pops will you try to whore around!!"

Cory drops his ring pop to the ground and turns away with his head down. He does not return the boop. Instead, he walks away in pain and agony.

Upon getting his wedding invite, Taproot decided something special should be his wedding gift. Something only he, and he alone could do. After long thought and a pony keg a thought came to him. Something only a select few knew about, would think about let along make happen. Yes this would be a epic wedding present but he had to make a few calls and pay some ppl a large amount of money. But it would be worth it.

2 hrs later

Taproot comes strolling into the wedding after the I do's and makes a announcment.

Ladies, Gentlemen and Whitey. I have come to say Congrats and enjoy this day and honeymoon. To mark this day i offer these fine things as my wedding gift to you both. Its for 2 day and night of wild and crazy fun. Please welcome the amazing "Naked Clown Midget Swingers!!" Tjese fine nakes midget clown swingers are here to make all you wildest and sickest dreams some trues on your wedding night. Enjoy!

Taproots bows and leaves toward the open bar in the back as the midget clowns run in naked and skipping toward the new bride and Whitey.

Whitey emerges from his newly purchased home covered in lipstick with his face covered in a white powder he had traficked all the way from New Orleans..

He takes a large sign out of the garage and a big rubber hammer to pound it in the ground...

The sign reads:

Now officially accepting applications for Mistress/housekeeper/ringpop holder

Enquire within

Eris's need not apply.

Hey, its a better love story than Twilight! ;D

The Eris-Ninja appears from the shadows, spotting the victim known as whitewidow. Her plan to ruin Whitey's day had been set in motion until she soon learned that the poor, unknowning girl had accepted the cracked and overly used ring pop. Sneaking silently through the yard, Eris-Ninja throws a ninja star throw the window attached with a note that hung from the wall of the White house. It read:

"One day, your ring pops will be no match for the hearts of these poor victims..erm I mean ladies of MR. I will spread the word of your terribleness around as you have spread your herpes to most. Hell has frozen over on this day. 

P.S. Long live SilkFather!"

Throwing a smoke bomb onto the ground, she disappears into the smoke, ready to save the world from the evil Whitey and protect all of MR from him.

All I can say about this... is that I was the best man which means I should be getting some bridesmaids. Direct them this way!

Points to his car

Cory Chase sees whitewidow before she runs of to paradice with Whitey. He throws his body to the ground and starts begging.

"whitewidow! Remember there is no official prenup, whenever you want to take half and come back you are welcome anytime! This Whitey can't provide anything for you but cocaine and hookers! I do actually believe I objected at this wedding. Ruining one of the angels innocence is not the way to go about this! Not only will we have to put up with Whitey lurking around the outskirts of the HQ, but this is going to highly upset my monkey and lion. Chaos in the world I say!"

He stands up and brushes himself off.

"This isn't the end of this Whitey. One day you will wake up and find your whore-pops gone from your possession. Then what!? Then what!? Don't boop me like you have won this thing, okay!"

I guess in this time of tolerance, 'bliss' and hand holding, we have time to pursue homoerotic activities and marriage. Hope it works out for you champ, marriage is only the worst thing a man, or woman can do.

OH. MY. GOD.

In his drunken stupor from the night before whitey doesn't remember much... He sees that he has finally gotten rid of that damn ringpop but now he has a big house and a whitewidow living inside of it.

meh, i've done worse things on a trip to LA... 

Whitey then notices the crowd of people standing there shaking their heads at his night of carefree nuptuals and decides to address them each individually.

Goku, A ringpop... It's a magical thing. Actually I dont know why I'm telling you - You will never need one you shallow lifeless husk of a man - you really ought to go jump off a cliff, I hate you and everything you stand for. You sir disgust me... On that note - I love you and we should really hang out more often... as always I suggest a night of haphazard tomfoolery in LA on Silkfathers dime.. Hookers and Cocaine? Why yes sir, hookers... and cocaine.

Eepster darling, you know first hand that i got a vasectomy after our little... scare.. Anyway, please give my best to Pikachu and all your other little demonic woodland critters xoxo

Taproot, thank you ever so much for your generous gift of swinging clown midgets. My general nether-region is still tingly and delightfully sore from... whatever we did... I'm not exactly too sure... Cocaine's a hell of a drug. Anyway, I know it involved a trapeze and this large trampoline. Either way, I'll hose those off and return them to you soon. Actually, give me a few days... I may need to scrub. (good thing i have a wife for that now)

Eris, my sweet innocent eris... How naive of you to think I let these women remember my proposals/marriages... Do yourself a favor next time you want to capture and have your naughty way with: Jin, Jynx, Silk, Valerie, Lush, Cory_Chase, SpikeSpiegel or any other member of your harem... Try some chloroform - you can order it straight out of the Sears-Roebuck Catalogue. Just press it firmly over the victims mouth and they wont remember a thing... But watch out for Valerie - She's a sly one, She'll pull the old switcheroo and you'll end up marrying Whitewidow... 

Finally, my dear dear cory chase... Oh how i dreaded this day. My constant whoring about and general tomfoolery has finally caught up with me. Cory you're the only person that has ever mattered to me in life. You are my one true love. But alas, I am not a single-boopsword kind of man. I crave the spice of life! Variety cory, variety!! This may be hard to swallow... swallow.. swallow.... cory but you may have to just share me? I mean  - we can all arrange something plenty workable I think! We're still living in the Dark-ages of sexuality on these shores! I mean, Playboy came out in this general Era... It's about time we learned to swing like the pros! Read one of Steven Burrough's books, they came/come out this general time as well. God forbid i be too specific about what year we're in or the thought police my charge in and tell me that I've flubbed another era specific reference.... Anyway though - lighten up old chum Monogamy = monotony stop buying into your grandparents ideals of love and passion etc. We're the dawn of the hippy generations (soonish, the date is not really that well established, fuck off with your date specific criticisms already mmkay?)

Lastly, Whitewidow. I love you. Darling? Yeah, see you at home - If all my cocaine is gone or Eris has escaped her cage I will be madder than... Well madder than Eris when i stick her in that cage... I still get a laugh out of that. 

Oops, seems that all the cocaine is gone and Eris is no where to be found! Valerie must have snuck in while I was swimming in the pool and let her out and might have stole the coke. Either way, Im taking a vacation to an undisclosed location with Eris and Valerie. I shall send a post card soon! Dont wait up!

BlackWidow walks up and jots down a quick note, taping it to Whitey and whitewidow's front door. 

What can I say Whitey, I knew that whitewidow was the woman for you! On another note, I have rescued my wife from the cage and brought her back home with me. We also may have taken all of your cocaine, for your own good of course. No more overdosing, please trust that we will put it to good use. 

Goku was in a rundown LA hotel where he had been staying for the wedding, taking a dump and reflecting on the past couple of days. He was just beginning to relive the night before, when a certain young lady named Jynx had come over, when his bro sense started to tingle. One of his bros was in trouble! With the speed of someone not of this Earth, Goku wiped and dressed himself, grabbed all of his cocaine and alcohol, and ran to the elevator to leave. He reached his car, and after a short spin around the block (which he easily could have walked and beaten the traffic) found himself at the White house, where Whitey was sobbing and attempting to snort leftover cocaine out of the cracks in the tile flooring.

Fear not whitey, for Goku is here, to save you once more! I have all the cocaine you could ever want, hookers on speed dial, and a large flagon of moonshine! Let us be foolhardy and gay (the 1930's sense of the word, fools) and forget all of this madness!!!

Innocence was at her usual table in her coffee shop with two of her best friends.

"This is proof we are the only normal people on LA." The Godfather said after talking about the recent shenanigans in her city.

At the table was Mercury, who was known to do black magic to make money. Across from her was Rhaziel, a dominatrix and at the head of the table Innocence, who kept the former Godfather of LA's corpse in a walk in freezer in her house as a souvenir.

"Yep, normal." Mercury agreed.

"And innocent." Rhaziel added.

Smells like OOCitus and homosexuality.

Cory looks around for this OOCitus that Frank_Sinatra is talking about.

"I don't see it, I just see this wedding and a near future divorce."