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Marietta's Guide to Not Being a Dead Retard Started by: Marietta on Dec 16, '08 13:14
This is going to save myself (and a lot of you) the grief of whining to me when I come to kill you for shooting one of my crew members. And I will be shooting you people, lest you forget and think my threats are empty.


If you want to be a good mobster and live longer than five days at a time, I will impart my special knowledge here for you all, so that you too can start on the path to mobster greatness.

This SHOULD be your daily schedule as a mobster.


* Wake up.
Self explanatory. You're up and ready to get going for your next day of criming. But perhaps there are a few things you should do first, before you start shooting and petty criming.


* Check the damn obits.
See your leader dead? See ANY leader dead? This is could be a good or bad sign for you, depending on your family and their stance in the situation. If you see high ranked mobsters in the obits, then move on to the next point I will highlight for you here:


* Check your fucking mail.
Any notices from your family on how to help in the war? Any notices from your family stating not to shoot at things OR to shoot at things? Best heed the advice of your CL, because they know best (despite what you all think, assholes). It's also best for you to head on over and:


* Check the $%&**#^% streets.
See any big announcements? Threads stating why a war was started? Threads stating not to shoot at the homeless from such and such a crew? Pay particular attention to these, because chances are they were posted by someone both much more powerful and much more sexy than yourself. Chances are you won't be so lucky if you decide to go against what they say. Chances are they're probably fucking serious if they say don't touch, regardless of who you are or what family you're in. Best abide by them, until you hear otherwise.


* Above all else- do the above at least twice before shooting your gun. Bitch.
Being ill-informed is not good enough anymore. "I didn't see the speech" will no longer be a passable excuse, because from now on you're being a good mobster, and you are checking the obits, your mail and streets before you do anything, right? Right.


So for all of you who want to make it to Made Man or above, I suggest you start doing the following. Like I said, "I didn't know" will no longer be an acceptable answer when I'm cramming my gun down your throat.


Kiss kiss,


Marietta
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How could anyone be sexier than ME?!
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Obviously you are not familiar with the majestic stallion known as RourkeyRourke.
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If it wasnt for the shovel mark on your face, I would still say I'm way sexier.
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How does your guide help if your family gets wiped out and then you get stabbed in the back


PS - I'm much much sexier than all of you combined
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I don't understand the question, but I'll assume it was some backhanded sarcastic comment and just put you on the list of people to die.


Thanks for your time.
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For the sake of my life.. I'm going to say that Marietta is the sexiest!


She has a bigger gun that you do, and damn it, she'll use it! :P


And thank you for the info, Marietta. I really hoped I wouldn't have been a dead retard <3
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we have knifes???


I want one!

I'm sick of shooting ppl in the back!

I wanna *STAB*STAB*STAB*STAB*STAB* them.
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Marietta, you forgot the most important rule!


Don't shoot Rourkes. Especially Rourkey. That's how diseases are spread.
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Rourkes are also how babies are made.


But enough. Read my main message, folks. I'm serious. Seriously.
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Thank heavens you are only placing a gun down my throat rather than a cock.


I don't think I would be able to handle it after the last thousand times or so.
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But Marietta, I didn't know!
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Great thread as always home girl!
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Any decent set of family rules should state "Do not shoot anything except inactive unsponsored gangsters or unsponsored gansters over 48 hours old without permission".


So really, your list only needs one step:

1. Read and follow the family rules
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Yeah, but that kind of takes away from my "grrr I'm a tough girl" shtick. :/
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"Kiss, Kiss" is a trademark of Mikus, you now owe him 1000000000000000000 dollars... Good luck with that. :)
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...


Can we have an edit button coded in? :(
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I'm sorry, that is out of the picture...


You have 30 days (mafia time (which 10 hours of mafia time equals one day)) to pay...
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I'm fucked.


And this is totally destroying my "grrr tough girl" image.
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"grrr tough girl" image is a trademark of Ganelon, you now owe him a kiss on the cheek.
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