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| I hate Marietta | Started by: Awesome on Dec 16, '08 19:17 |
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Awesome is standing with his arms crossed across his chest. With a look of childish indignation. He's standing on a soap box, because that seems to be the norm around here. He doesn't know why, but who is he to question tradition? Well, he's Awesome. And I suppose he could. But not now. Not here. Another time. Another place. Today and here he has another concern. And that concern being Godmother Marietta, the Tyrant of the seven cities. I'm going to get straight to the point here, because it seems to be the only way to grab your attention. I hate Marietta because she didn't give me money when I didn't ask for it. How dare she? Who does she think she is? Does she not know who I am? Oh, bad things are coming her way. Yes they are. But I won't tell you exactly what these things will be. I don't want her to be prepared. But think of the plagues of Egypt. Yes, they were nasty weren't they? Well, these things won't be anything like those things. Not in the slightest. Awesome jumps down from the soapbox. And he did so awesomely. But, I need your help. I need associates. Who will join me? We will work together to undermine her regime from beneath. We could steal all the toilet roll in her HQ. We could tie her shoes together by their laces. We could switch her toothpaste for something that could be mistaken for her toothpaste. We could let loose a horde of goats and midgets to swarm the city of Detroit. Oh, yes. It will be mayhem. And we shall rise victorious! Who is with me? I say, who is with me? |
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| What shall we call this awesome group of mayhem-bringing-toilet-paper-stealing villains? | |
| Reply by: Ares at Dec 16, '08 19:22 | |
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| Patriotic Capitalists! | |
| Reply by: Communist_Cav at Dec 16, '08 19:26 | |
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| The Awesome Anti-Marietta Pro-Midget-and-Goat People? | |
| Reply by: Awesome at Dec 16, '08 19:27 | |
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The Awesome AMPMAG People Ares gets word of the sabotage to Marietta's HQ and immediately rushes out of town to get all the livestock he can find. After a few hours of gathering, he loads them into a trailer and drives them to the location Awesome told him to. He stops, stands at the back of the trailer, holding the pin. He sees Awesome start to walk up to him. Ares: I got all the goats I could find. About 50 or so in there. Let's do this. |
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| Reply by: Ares at Dec 16, '08 19:53 | |
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Awesome inspected the recruit. He looked him up and down. From side-to-side. And considered him sufficient. He then moved on to inspect the weapons. In all their glory. Midgets and goats. Of all colours and sizes. Some were one colour and one size. Others were another colour but the same size. Others still were the same colour but a different size. And the rest were another colour and another size. 'Twas a sight to behold, and behold it he did. "Liiiiine up, men!" Awesome commanded like the commander of a command force. Because that's what he was. The recruit lined up. "What is your name, son?" "Ares." "Ares, WHAT?" "Ares, sir." "What? No! Well, yes, actually, good boy. But what I meant was for you to say "AresAMPMAG", okay?" "AresAMPMAG... sir?" "Yes, excellent! Right, then. We must be prepared. Are you prepared?" "Ye..." "THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION, SOLDIER!" "Sorry, sir." "Now, then. Are you prepared?" "..." "Good. Then off we march. To Detroit!" Awesome begins the march to Detroit. Across land and sea they shall march to reach their target. And across land and sea they did indeed march. Don't ask how. No, seriously, don't. |
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| Reply by: Awesome at Dec 16, '08 20:12 | |
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| I too sir would like to join your ranks, I am young, but learn fast. I can be great, I pledge to you, Awesome sir! | |
| Reply by: accidental at Dec 16, '08 22:12 | |
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| we all hate Marietta that's no lie we truly do i wish she would die very slowly lmao | |
| Reply by: mancini at Dec 17, '08 01:30 | |
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Patriotic Capitalists! Reply by: Communist_Cav at Dec 16, '08 19:26 hahahahaahahahahaha dude you pwn :') |
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| Reply by: Alessio_Lorenzo at Dec 17, '08 03:33 | |
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Walks Down the street and heres this plot against Mrs Marietta Thinks to himself"Hmm this could be fun but also very sly but it could be more fun if i backfire all there plans against them" "Hello Guys I Decide i will NOT join you as Mrs Marietta is very lovely very nice and very very sweet so why pledge such a nasty thing against her there is no point and if you try i swear i shall stop you what ever it takes" "dont worry Mrs Marietta ill stop these hooligans" Walks off and gets a tomato threw at him so he catches it and throws it back and hits Awsome striaght off the face Hahahaha what a shot Walks away to catch a plane to detroit to set up his tent and a little camp near Mrs Marietta HQ ready to protect her !! |
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| Reply by: DeathKnight at Dec 17, '08 06:04 | |
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The Awesome AMPMAG People, huh? I see the direction. I understand the meaning. I am just confused about one thing. How are we going to turn a profit on the toilet paper if Marietta is the worlds number one toilet paper buyer...? If this question was to be answered and explained I would jump on the bandwagon. Until then. -Vega |
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| Reply by: CelsoVega at Dec 17, '08 06:08 | |
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| That damn tyrant! She's a m0ng. Just don't tell her I said it! | |
| Reply by: Falcao at Dec 17, '08 08:00 | |
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Awesome appears (awesomely) to the place at which the people are talking. He hears their words and deems some of them good. And the others, not so. He removes from his Pocket of Awesomeness an orange, and begins to eat. accidental; my top sir! You seem grammatically worthy, and so I would be honoured if you were to join us in our awesome and valiant struggle! Great riches await you at the end. When we win. 'Cause we will. mancini; I am afraid you do not quite reach up to our awesomely-high criteria. But you may reapply should this change. DeathKnight; We will find you, and we will make you pay for refusing to join us. We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances, we guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us. CelsoVega; it's simple. We wait for her to buy the toilet paper, which being as she buys so much, is a huge investment in the economy. We then steal it, forcing her to buy more, thus further investing in the economy. And at the same time, we sell all that which we steal to fund our super-secret and awesome underground activities, so we, in turn, invest in the economy. Which also ensures a very ready supply to those who buy from us, improving their welfare, and gives us what we need, securing our victory. See? It's all been thought out. We are taking from the rich and giving to the needy. We're like Robin Hood. But without the tights. Awesome evaporates into thin air (with awesomeness) and returns to the front line where AMPMAG have succeeded in reaching the gates of Detroit. |
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| Reply by: Awesome at Dec 17, '08 08:07 | |
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A man suddenly appears from the shadows and places his two 9mm pistols to either temple of Awesome's head and guietly clears his throat.... Sir, I regret to inform you that if you continue to roit against the Roit! name, then there are several bullets in my possession that will bear your name most boldly... He dissappears back into the shadows as rapidly as he appeared... |
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| Reply by: larryboy at Dec 17, '08 11:20 | |
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Ares hears larryboy's threats and chuckles. Good thing we're rioting against the Riot! instead of the Roit! Continues march up to HQ's front doors. |
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| Reply by: Ares at Dec 17, '08 11:50 | |
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Dk lisyens to what awsome had to say and walks upto him and.... 'Slaps Awsome around with a Rainbow trout' haha thats all i have to say to you Mr awsome i shall protect Mrs Marietta any means necessary even if i have to build a Army of old GRANNIES to beat you then that i must !! Walks away thinking of the best city to find old Grannies |
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| Reply by: DeathKnight at Dec 17, '08 13:22 | |
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Dk finds his old Grannies in a nice city called New York where his family were happy to surrender there Grandma's to Dk "Right then you old bunch today is a day were you may earn a nice bit of retirement $$$$ but only if we win our objective is to serve and protect Mrs BEAUTIFUL Marietta from the angry mob of Awsome but remember Mrs Marietta is a GodFather and if you please a Godfather then they might give you discounts in there city so think of how many COOKIES or HANDBAGS you could by with all that and remember aswell Handiman is no longer around to come to your rescue he died tragicly by getting hit by a Parked Vehicle and tragicly died... but never mind that remember who were here for.." "WHO ARE WE GOING TO PROTECT" Grannies : "Mrs Marietta" "WHO ARE WE GOING TO BEAT" Grannies : "Awsomes angry mob" "WHO'S GONNA EARN SOME $$$$ AFTER WE WIN" Grannies : "errrrrr" "YOU, YOU OLD FOOL'S" "SO MARCH OUT AND LETS PREPARE A BLOOD BATTLE" "FOR MARIETTA" !!! |
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| Reply by: DeathKnight at Dec 17, '08 13:30 | |
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It is the dead of night. Or at least just very dark. Or quite sunny, depending on one's time zone. AwesomeAMPMAG, AresAMPMAG, and the rest of the Awesome People, are hiding in the bushes. The midgets and the goats are ready for action. And in case you're wondering, the midgets will be riding the goats. Oh, yes, they will. Awesome even has them dressed up as turtles. The midgets, not the goats. Why? Nobody knows. Not even Awesome. Right. This is the plan. You knock on the door to get them to open it. Tell them that you're organizing a sponsered shoot-people-in-the-face-athon, and wondered if the Riot! would like to donate anything. While whomever answers is busy with you, I'll send in the first wave of MAGs to storm the front. In all the kerfuffle, you run inside and start stealing toilet paper. accidentalAMPMAG and I will be round the back where we will send in the second wave. The kitchen stores are around there and so will hopefully be open and unguarded. In all that chaos, accidentalAMPMAG will head up to Marietta's bathroom and switch her toothpaste for something that could be mistaken for her toothpaste, and I will tie her shoes together by their laces. AwesomeAMPMAG looks at his watch. It should take no more than 12 minutes. We will meet outside the statue by the entrance. From start-to-finish, I'll give us 15. 2 minutes lee-way in case things go wrong. From there, we should hopefully be picked up by CelsoVegaAMPMAG in his van. Hopefully, whilst we're in the HQ, he'll be in the car parking lot, popping the tires of all the Riot!'s vehicles, ensuring us an easy escape. He looks at his watch again. This will be awesome, my friends. Oh, yes, it will. AMPMAG FTW! And with that, the battle commences. |
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| Reply by: Awesome at Dec 17, '08 13:33 | |
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"Right then Grannies your 7 got to Marietta's toilet and guard and hit anyone and anything that comes inside" "You Mrs Lanky Granny your incharge of answering the door and grabbing there man that comes there" "You 3 goto Marietta bedroom and protect anything in there even her if shes asleep" "You 5 go to that susspious Van parked over there and slash its tires" "And the rest of you Greving Grannies get to your posts and SEARCH AND DESTROY WITH YOU HANDBAGS remember Mrs Marietta doesnt want blood stained walls so any of you packing heat you better hand it over now" (6 of the grannies pull out there Snub noses from there handbags and hand them to Dk) "And i will go after Awsome myself and teach him some maners about planing an attack on THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GODFATHER of all time and teach him that you dont need other Mafioso to do your dury work then the old aged will do it even more" FOR MARIETTA ! FOR DETROIT !! IN THE MEMORY OF ZOEY !!! Dk's army of greving grannies attack awsomes men and slash the vans tires while Dk looks for awsome |
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| Reply by: DeathKnight at Dec 17, '08 14:24 | |
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Ares walks up to the front of the Large Building, and knocks. After waiting an incredibly long time, an old lady opens the door and begins to swing at him with her handbag. He grabs the bag, throws it out onto the lawn and whistles for the Goat-Riding Midgets to make the first attack. "Everyone in! GO GO GO! Get that TP!" A rush of livestock and small people rush into the well-defended HQ. The first wave turned out to be a success, with only the loss of 6 midgets and 4 goats. The two un-manned goats began to charge the old ladies, knocking out their dentures, and rendering them verbally useless to call for help. The battle continues as AresAMPMAG makes a run up the massive staircase to the bathroom floor. The HQ has an entire floor dedicated to excrement release. He runs into the first room, grabbing 10 or so rolls and tossing them out onto the front lawn. He continues through each bathroom, until he can no longer find any more TP. He remembers what Awesome said about a "Secret Stash" and looks around for it. |
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| Reply by: Ares at Dec 17, '08 16:16 | |
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