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| Suck My Caulk | Started by: RourkeyRourke on Dec 18, '08 11:56 |
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Is your roof in need of repair? If so, you should try to Suck My Caulk. With over 30 years of experience, Suck My Caulk Roofing Services is a renowned presence in the roofing industry. As roofing contractors who take our responsibilities very seriously, we ensure that all of our technicians are skilled and certified, and that they can confidently install product from every major roofing manufacturer in the country. Our primary goal is to solve your roofing issues in the most effective and efficient way possible. Although replacing a roof is sometimes necessary, we at SMCRS know that often effective repairs are an equally successful solution. Whereas some Detroit roofing contractors are hesitant to guarantee all repairs, we at SMCRS guarantee all of our work. Integrity and reliability are the SMCRS hallmarks on which customers can depend. With years of varied experience in both the commercial and residential realms, there is no job that is beyond our doing. Set up a free roof evaluation and we guarantee that we can direct you toward the most effective and reasonable repair or replacement plan. Additionally, we are confident that our proposal will be more equitable than those of other area roofing contractors. At SMCRS we pride ourselves on exceeding customers' expectations by providing solutions in a timely, cost effective, safe manner. Further, our warranty programs, provided for customers' existing roofs, saving many people thousands of dollars of costly replacements. Please contact us for individual prices and quotes. Special discounts will be given to the ladies. |
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The stunning blonde known as VeronicazotzRourke approaches RourkeyRourke and smiles. She leans forward and Rourkey's eyes cant help but be drawn to her significant cleavage bustling to get free from her tight top. As much as I would love to try sucking your Caulk I must not! My roof is absolutely fine. Its my back door which is the problem!!! Ever since I went grocery shopping and let that bastard Thomas hold Rourke court in my house its been a problem. So what says you Rourkey? Fancy coming round later with Mickey and giving my back door a go? |
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| Reply by: VeronicazotzRourke at Dec 18, '08 13:46 | |
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wow ummm.. Hides his childrens eyes and begins to pray to the Gods... |
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| Reply by: Communist_Cav at Dec 18, '08 14:53 | |
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| oh my god you still seem to amaze me Rourkey lol you are such a funny guy lol and hmm nice business :D | |
| Reply by: DeathKnight at Dec 18, '08 16:43 | |
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Veronicazotz, Please contact us for a personal quote regarding your back door. Mickey and I will be happy to place some caulk in and around your back door, but there will be a nominal entry fee as well as a cleaning fee should any debris be caked there. We thank you for your continued support of Suck My Caulk Roofing Services. On a personal note, may we use your name and likeness in our further campaigns? We have initial ideas of a cardboard cutout based on your shapely figure with a quote saying something along the lines of "Another satisfied Caulk customer!" Thank you for your time. Regards, Suck My Caulk Roofing Services |
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| Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Dec 18, '08 16:50 | |
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| Don't encourage Rourkey. That isn't good for anybody. | |
| Reply by: Mr_MFer at Dec 18, '08 17:34 | |
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| I have some questions about this business, RourkeyRourke. I have recently found a competitor, the Pro Caulk which promises to "fill a void in the toolbox." RourkeyRourke, will your Caulk fill a hole as well as the Pro Caulk? | |
| Reply by: Muqtada at Dec 18, '08 19:30 | |
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Jersey walks in and greets everyone standing about "So, I hear there are some great caulk suckers in here that know their way around the back and front?" Well, I have a story for you caulk suckers. I started to suck caulk at an early age.. I did it because I wanted to impress the boys. They said they were only interested in girls who sucked caulk. I didn't see any harm in it. All of my girlfriends said they had sucked caulk at least once. Some of them seemed to enjoy it more than others. But after her first few awkward experiences with sealants my caulk sucking became a craving, and then turned into a problem that started to put the squeeze on me. At one time I was sucking two or three different caulks at the same time. My desire to suck caulk was insane. I would sneak into the hardware stores, locate the sealants section, and steal a few tubes of caulk from the shelves, I just couldn't satisfy my craving for caulk. With counseling, I started to take care of my sucking problem. It was tough to swallow, I was a good and decent girl at one time. But when I would go to parties and sucked caulk, I realized how much of an addiction it was. But I am an adult now. If I want to suck caulk, that's my own business. At least I'm not a weather-stripper. |
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| Reply by: Jersey at Dec 19, '08 03:46 | |
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I hope your service is available during the winter months? My roof has been leaking since last May. I'm sort of a do-it-yourselfer, so I planned on patching up the roof over the summer. I never got around to it. I purchased some caulk from the hardware store and left it in my garage. As the weather grew colder, the caulk froze. So now, my caulk is hard. There is no way I'm going up on the roof in the winter with this hard caulk. I would look like a fool up there as the neighbors drove by and I'm up on the roof slamming my hard caulk against the chimney trying to get it to go soft. Can you help? If not, what do you suggest I do with my hard caulk? |
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| Reply by: DirtyMind at Dec 19, '08 15:04 | |
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| If you have any problems, as from what you read above, I'm a good caulk sucker.. I could help you with that hard caulk problem if need be :) | |
| Reply by: Jersey at Dec 19, '08 15:11 | |
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hey need a drink? a cigar? some food? or maybe ya just wanna sit and chat? come to the caged bird! we got cheap prices! nothing over $5! owned by dustin |
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| Reply by: Dustin at Dec 19, '08 15:22 | |
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| Bless your heart, Jersey. It's good to see that there are still some nice girls out there. | |
| Reply by: DirtyMind at Dec 19, '08 15:37 | |
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<3 I try.. I try.. But I am still trying to fight my caulk sucking addiction. In due time, I won't be sucking as much caulk as I used to! \o/ |
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| Reply by: Jersey at Dec 19, '08 15:42 | |
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Suck My Caulk is a great business, but for situations that may call for more than everyday caulk needs, I must also recommend... Hard Nuts and Tight Screw Jobs for all of your other roofing needs. Not every roofing job can be completed simply with caulk, but instead require added assurance to "seal" the deal. Our business however, also means that we will provide you with extra caulk services if you find that other caulks tend to fall short long before the job is over. Our caulks are guaranteed to satisfy you according to your liking without running out of sealant! Yes that's right, you not only get our nut and screw service, but also the caulk that any difficult job demands. What more could you want? We provide strong support for any caulks, with hard nuts and tight screw jobs to finish err off! Both quality and comfort are our creed. Sometimes even the hardest caulks need a little support and the tightest holes, demand a tighter screw. So call us today for immediate assistance at: 1-800-NUT-JOBS or our second line: 1-800-NUT-HARD Our operators are standing by to provide you with the hardest nuts and tightest screw jobs money can buy! |
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| Reply by: GoodFella at Dec 19, '08 15:45 | |
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O.O I think I just fell in love and found my new addiction! Goodfella, I have been looking for hard nuts and a tight screw for a long period of time now. Are you sure your nut jobs and tight screws are the best? |
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| Reply by: Jersey at Dec 19, '08 15:48 | |
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Jersey, Our hard nuts are built to endure even the most banged-up jobs, guaranteed! As for our screws, we custom fit each screw for every hole to ensure the best possible fit and most satisfaction from the job. So much so, you may find yourself mixing business with pleasure! That is also not to mention our guarantee to provide your roofing jobs with a more endurable caulk cannon that will no doubt, see the job through. The longer, wider shaft is part of a specially crafted design to last longer, and generally feel better on the hole. And no matter how wide and deep your hole, Hard Nuts and Tight Screw Jobs will satisfy you through to the end. |
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| Reply by: GoodFella at Dec 19, '08 15:57 | |
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| Goodfella, will YOU give me tight screw and show me your caulk cannon? | |
| Reply by: Jersey at Dec 19, '08 16:01 | |
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Jersey, I have a tight schedule, pardon the pun, but there is no doubt that you can fit me in... to your schedule on a week night here shortly. I guarantee all of the previously stated qualities and assurances with my hard nuts and tight screw jobs. No exceptions. My caulk is of course, definitely a big part of the job and I guarantee you will also get a chance to not only see it, but hold it and squeeze it to your liking to prove that it is in fact, durable. |
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| Reply by: GoodFella at Dec 19, '08 16:05 | |
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| Jersey faints | |
| Reply by: Jersey at Dec 19, '08 16:06 | |
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And for those DIY girls, we also have .. The single-use, disposable caulk! Make the days of messy caulking using bulky squeeze-tubes are a thing of the past. Use them to give yourself a good hard or soft caulking. Singles can be used with one hand and dispensed with no tools, leaving little or no waste in the package. The best part: Unlike caulk cannons, they are small enough to fit in vanities, drawers and even your purse. So ladies, do yourself a favor. Start sucking your own caulk and stop sucking others! |
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| Reply by: Jersey at Dec 19, '08 17:37 | |
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