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| What Are You | Started by: HarveyDent on Jan 13, '09 04:31 |
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The night is quiet. The kind of night that makes a man think as he walks the streets. A car passes by, but he pays no attention. His face hidden from the tall street lights of Los Angeles. He lights a cigar and begins pacing back and forth. A crowd soon gathers around him, as if wondering if he would spontaneously combust if his feet stopped moving. The man takes a swig from his flask before noticing the crowd around him. He shouts aloud, the crowd unsure if he is speaking to them or himself. Crazy old fool. "What is going on? Hm? Can anyone tell me that? Call me crazy. Call me old. Call me whatever you like. You can call me Sally if it makes you sleep better at night. Because that's what seems to be going on around here. People need to sleep better at night. I'm sorry, are the sounds of gun shots and squealing tires not pleasant enough for you? I see people walk around in their expensive suits shouting how sexy they are while they hold each other's hand and skip down the street. Maybe my bad eyes deceive me, but I don't remember that as being part of being a Mafioso. And the justification for it all is to make each of you feel better about yourselves. " "I could tell you to choose your vices. Self-esteem is not a normal vice. Get rid of it. You're supposed to be a cold hearted son of a bitch. At the very least, pretend you are. Then when you're in your office or in your home, you can dance around and play spin the bottle all you want." "Now, I imagine some of you are just dying to interrupt me and tell me I'm wrong. Perhaps I am. I'd never admit to it, but I like to think of myself as a reasonable man. So, as I've stated at other rants and speeches, actions speak louder than words." "Now I'm sure you all want to tell me that you don't owe me anything. You don't need to prove anything to me. Who am I to demand this? I'll tell you who I am. I'm a member of this community. And that is exactly who I ask you to prove it to. The community. To yourselves. For God's sake, I've never heard of mafiosos wanting to be friendly and... what's that word you kids use these days... "sexy"? Every picture I've ever seen and every Mafioso I respect is one ugly mother." Harvey looks at the crowd, a few of them picking their jaws from the ground, while the mass of the them shout and yell and curse at Harvey. He takes another swig from his flask and walks away from the crowd, refusing to speak until their minds are clear and the words are rational |
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So correct me if I'm wrong: - You're angry because people sleep well at night. - You hate the thought of people getting along. - And you thirst for someone to "prove" that they are not sexy, because you've seen pictures of ugly people. PG stares. Are you serious? This speech was nothing more than a poke at the peaceful times we have in this thing of ours. Well, unfortunately, I have news for you: Been there, done that. There's been thousands of speeches not unlike this one, only you seemingly were going for shock value and flaunting your ability to openly insult without repercussions. Eventually, your speech will be forgotten, and things will fall back into their natural pattern. A few big-boy words aren't going to change that, Mr. Dent. I also assume this was probably somewhat a poke at myself and Hayley because we got married on these streets, and we consider ourselves the "Sexy Chicago Duo", as it states on our business card. Phantom flashes a sexy, super fucking sexy awesomely sexy 'want to make love to' kind of sexy smile at all the bystanders. Move along, he's just complaining. Me looks back at HarveyDent. How was that for cold-hearted? |
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| Reply by: Phantom-Ghost at Jan 13, '09 06:42 | |
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And one last addition, if I may- To quote your very own business card, Mr. Dent:
No, I'm not new, but it's good to know I can feel free to contact you if I ever need anything. Wow, how friendly of you. Oh! Pickpocket friendly! How nice. Wow, you sure are a coldhearted bastard, HarveyDent. Seems like a good old fashioned case of "not practicing what you preach", hmm? |
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| Reply by: Phantom-Ghost at Jan 13, '09 06:48 | |
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Hmmm, old, i believe premmy is as old as they come. OLDEST AS THEY COME ACTUALLY OH BURN. Like i was saying, premmy has alaways been a sexy, cute, hot, funny and womanizer. It's what i do . Just casue your ugly doesn't mean i have to be. If you don't like peace, by all means cowboy up and OK coral this mother fucker. |
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| Reply by: PremmyThePoohBear at Jan 13, '09 06:54 | |
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| I don't think he was saying anything about hating peaceful times. A mafioso can still act like a mafioso without warring everybody around him. No, mobsters don't go around trying to be sex symbols. They just don't. Not in peaceful times and not in war times, either. Some of the behavior around here is very unbecoming of a mafioso. That's just a plain fact whether you like it or not. Seems he hit a nerve, Phantom Ghost. | |
| Reply by: MrsButterworth at Jan 13, '09 10:14 | |
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Acutie Ponders for a moment Can you give me some examples of "Some of the behavior around here is very unbecoming of a mafioso." Please |
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| Reply by: Acutie at Jan 13, '09 10:18 | |
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| Why do you need someone to tell you what is becoming of a mobster and what is not? You are a mobster, aren't you? Take a look around and figure it out for yourself. You can see it everywhere. I realize that it's just a way to have fun, and I have no problem with that. I never said I think it is horrifically wrong to act out of character. I was only trying to say that Harvey brought up a fair point, while PG jumped down his throat and accused him of warmongering and casting insults. | |
| Reply by: MrsButterworth at Jan 13, '09 10:26 | |
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Takes notes feverishly as he enjoys yet another interesting debate on the street corner. He places his mini notebook back in his coat pocket, clears his throat, and walks toward the fray to comment on the debaters. Okay, this seems like a fun game. So let me tell you who YOU are. Harvey - you are somebody who likes to stir the pot and unafraid to communicate in the street. You don't concern yourself with who may or may not like what you have to say. Ghost - You are obviously an intelligent man who has risen to the top of our community. But, you have some confusion going on. Are you a Phantom or a Ghost? Can you be both? I guess your parents thought so. Anyway, you're a bit harsh, but clearly not afraid to mix it up. And you also THINK you're sexy. That's debatable. Premmy - clearly you ARE self-absorbed. And don't you need to get at least one woman to be a womanizer? Just saying... Acutie - All I can say about you is that you are inquisitive. Ah, and MrsButterworth - Mmmm, you are a rich and delicious toping that is often seen on my pancakes, waffles, and many other dishes. And me? Well I am all those things others say they are. I'm just too humble to say it. |
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| Reply by: Brick_Pollitt at Jan 13, '09 11:09 | |
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I did no such thing, if he wants to see the darker side, I can simply show it to him. He's a big boy, if he can dish it out, he can take it as well. Saying the things I did, and acting the way I did was actually TOTALLY out of character for how I normally am, which makes it clear I was only proving a point. Also, in Acutie's defense, I hardly think he was legitimately asking for behavior that is unbecoming. All the mobsters he idolizes are ugly, the one's I idolize are sexy. Seems I just live in a more eye-pleasing world where there's fun in the off-times. EXCUUUSE ME for that. In the words of Prem, "Cowboy up and OK corral this motherfucker," if you don't like what you see. P.S. "Jumping down someone's throat" implies disrespect, and is entirely different than proving a legitimate point, which was both proven in my case, Harvey's, as well as your own. I don't fault any of you, I'm simply stating my side with the same amount of fire. |
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| Reply by: Phantom-Ghost at Jan 13, '09 11:15 | |
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Brick, I am indeed both a Phantom as well as a Ghost. To throw a wrench in the gears one step further, I am married to an Angel. Figure that one out. I was a bit harsh, but it was all in the sake of not "holding hands" as it was put in Harvey's original speech. I obviously replied, so the debate does mean something. Thank you sincerely, however, for noticing my "mixing it up". It pleases me that it didn't go unnoticed. |
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| Reply by: Phantom-Ghost at Jan 13, '09 11:24 | |
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| and im pretty sure a mobster does whatever he fucking once (read it in the cool guys mobster handbook for dummies) So if i want to be sexy and fucking bitches all day with a brick, i can cuz i can do whatever i fucking want. Thats mobster law. | |
| Reply by: PremmyThePoohBear at Jan 13, '09 12:14 | |
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| Omg, PG you are funny | |
| Reply by: inferno_ace at Jan 13, '09 12:15 | |
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| I agree with PremmyThePoohBear. | |
| Reply by: Mirage at Jan 13, '09 12:21 | |
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| And Mirage can agree with me, cuz thats what she wants. There is nothing in the whole world that says mobsters have to look like ugly ass lame dudes. We make millions, ill pay for fucking sugery or some shit. I know im a sexy mother fucker, and mirage is sexy as well. Just cuz your ugly and the baby mobsters picked on you, don't mean i need to be. | |
| Reply by: PremmyThePoohBear at Jan 13, '09 12:32 | |
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"Premmy - clearly you ARE self-absorbed. And don't you need to get at least one woman to be a womanizer?" Brick ive had more women then jesus had followers. Cept i give them the illness i don't cure it. Who are you Brick? Let's see Your boyfriend who wrote this thread came to you crying, as he laid on your chest telling you about the mean men, you stroked his hair and told him not to worry, you'd make it all better, then you came in guns blazing, all for love. That mean's alot. Two ugly ass mobsters making it through the day... Dare i say it, YOU GO GIRL. |
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| Reply by: PremmyThePoohBear at Jan 13, '09 12:36 | |
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I also fully agree with PremmyThePoohBear. He is a man of infinite wisdom and Mr. Dent, you should be able to gain much from him. I'm here to listen to a few folks in my world: the boss, the GodMother, those appointed by the boss to govern my actions, the Gods above, and whichever female mafiosa I'm supposed to be paying child support to at the moment. Why should I let a lazy Capo from another family tell me how to live my life? I can't help it that my visage is more attractive than yours and that the ladies choose my accompaniment on a fairly regular basis. If you would like lessons, feel free to contact me and we can arrange some rhinoplasty posthaste! |
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| Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Jan 13, '09 12:39 | |
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I may only be 2'4 and have this sexy smug face...but the ladies love it. I live my life like a true mobster. Women, monies and fast cars (with pedal extensions of course) |
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| Reply by: JimmyTheLionHeart at Jan 13, '09 12:57 | |
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Wandering out of a nearby shoe store, Marietta pauses to catch her reflection in the picture window outside. 'Gee, I sure am sexy!' she thinks to herself, rearranging her multiple bags and strutting off down the street. A blend of voices, some familiar and others unrecognizable, catch her ear and she turns to see a small gathering forming around a man. Unable to resist temptation, much like a sheep herding after the others of it's kind, she steps forward, pulling a pair of shades out of her purse and placing them over her eyes. Hoping she wouldn't be recognized she stood, her shopping bags slowly turning into a heavy burden upon her arms. After a majority of the crowd had spoken she felt obligated to say something herself. Biting the inside of her mouth for a moment she took a deep breath and raised her hand to draw some attention to herself. Hello. Yes, I had something I wanted to say. Sir, at one point you said the following: "I see people walk around in their expensive suits shouting how sexy they are while they hold each other's hand and skip down the street. Maybe my bad eyes deceive me, but I don't remember that as being part of being a Mafioso. And the justification for it all is to make each of you feel better about yourselves." You claim that actions such as this are not apart of being a Mobster, but I'm sure we can all agree they are a large part of being a human. At the core of it all, we are humans. After every crime we commit, after every person we kill, we all go home at the end of the day as human beings- not as Mafiosi. We are not machines who are capable of eternal life. If this were the case we'd get rid of other such 'trivial' distractions in our lives, like religion and worship of God and the Virgin Mary. To have self-confidence and self-esteem is as normal as the air we breathe, and on the flip-side it is just as common to see those Mobsters who are void of emotion or are lacking belief in themselves. There is no written rule that we need to be 'cold-hearted'. Every person is different, and this makes every mobster different. If we were all cold-hearted sons of bitches then I doubt anyone would get anywhere with their business, because we'd all be trying to out do one another and have pissing contests about who was more icier in the exterior than the other. And let's look at the business aspect. I only associate with whomever I have to in order to keep things running smoothly on my end- be it a narcissistic bastard or a hard-gazed one-syllable response woman. I'm not dwelling on if they think they are sexy or exude self-confidence, nor am I leaving the scene of a meeting only to think moments later "Wow, that man was a hardcore MFer (no offense, sir). I shall remember him as being something to be feared for years to come!". Business is just that, and I'm not paying attention to someone's apparel unless directed otherwise. Does this make me less of a Mafiosi? Perhaps. I'd rather be self-assured in who or what I am, though, than to run around masquerading as something I am not, just to make a point to the public. So what am I? I'm a woman. A woman who feels real emotions, like a woman should, but who also happens to have a job the requires her to act a little steely around the edges at times. By no means am I going to let this aspect of my life monopolize who I truly am, just to appease the tastes of others. Now if you'll excuse me, I bought some shoes I need to try on, and some other things I need to deliver. Turning briefly to Mirage she hisses: Hey, I bought you something too. Come on! Tossing her head over her shoulder in a jerk, she turned unsteadily on her high heels and made to leave the crowd. |
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| Reply by: Marietta at Jan 13, '09 13:19 | |
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| Well there you have it. Rattle the cage, and get the horns while you tip your waitresses.. or something like that. | |
| Reply by: Phantom-Ghost at Jan 13, '09 13:47 | |
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listens to a few of the responses. Some so muddled with accidental humor, he completely ignores them. But a few get his attention, turning his feet around to address the confused crowd once again PG, my good sir. First let me state that there is not a word In the English language to express the gratitude for bringing the fire and angst that you did. One may argue that it topped mine, and you'd probably be right. It's rare to see it, so my appreciation grows when it comes from a leader of our streets. However, it stops there. To accuse me of being friendly, well that's just crazy talk. I've certainly been known to help a few mobsters in need, but I don't consider that "kindness". I call it respect. For the established gangster who comes to me in need, it's respect for them, and a test for them to prove their honor to me. When the son or daughter of a fallen colleague comes to me, it's respect for their late parent. When a new arrival to the shores of America come to me for aid, it's respect for their courage to speak to someone when the sounds of death surround the air they breath. Or, if you'd prefer, I'll stop speaking to these new comers so that they bug our busier leaders and right hands with one-line invite requests and ignorant questions such as, 'how do I make money?' That way you can deal with them, hm? Harvey takes a breath, and a drink to calm himself before moving on Premmy, let me see your ID real quick. Yep, as I thought, you are not older than me. Now, from what I read your lineage goes back farther, yes. But you sir are still al little youngin'. Rourkey, I'm not so sure how much I can learn from a pooh bear. Call me sheltered, but I'm yet to find a woman that likes bricks inside of her. It's okay Premmy... when your own equipment doesn't suffice, trick her with drugs and ceramic dildos. Now Rourkey, and anyone else paying attention, don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being good looking. However, dancing around telling people you are is wrong. Now Marietta brings up a good point. Self assurance is one thing. Being confident in yourself. But strutting around and dancing and singing on the streets in front of other supposedly dangerous folk could get you killed. So while you are right to say that it is better to be who you are than pretend to be someone else, I do have to disagree to a point. I think it's better to pretend to be an asshole than to be confident in you sissy-ness. Now, I was going to attempt to make this short and sweet. But I think that went out the window long ago. So I have a closing thought before you begin yelling and cursing at me again. Don't worry though, I thoroughly enjoy it. It reminds me that the people around here still have a pulse. My closing thought is this: Be who you are. Don't tell me who you are. Don't ask me who I think you are. Be it. Harvey lights up a new cigar. Imported Cuban, lit with a wooden match to preserve flavor. He leans against the nearest light post waiting for a literate response. He thinks he'll be there for a while |
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| Reply by: HarveyDent at Jan 13, '09 15:08 | |
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