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| The Revan Tax | Started by: BobTheBuilder on Apr 02, '09 02:24 |
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Walks into the middle of an empty street in the middle of nowhere as he pulls out his gun and lets out a quick barrage of shots only leaving the tough and rugged to answer his call. Who am I kidding, they all run away like pussies. After having his fun, bob steps onto a soap box and blows a tiny trumpet that brings all of the pussies out of hiding. "Hear ye. Hear ye. Today I wish to talk with you all about something fairy important to myself, it is what I would like to call taxes. Seeing as how everyone wishes to sway their power and collect a little pocket change, why shouldn't I? Yes, yes. I am only an Earner, but I am a super fuckin' cool earner. So, I am here to jus..." A man walks up and begins to put down Bob's idea. The man talks about bob being too low of a scumbag to get his tax listened too, with this Bob just smiles and lets out a ring of bullets into the mans head. Looking back at the people he begins to speak once again. "Now... where was I? Ah. Yes. From here on out a Revan Tax shall be imposed on everyone. If you wish to live then a quick fee of fifty grand should be given to me. What does this mean if you do not give the money? Well my good friend larry will show you." A gargantuan ape walks out to the middle of the street and rips a lady in half. "Yeah, that's what will happen. So, you may discuss here, but my money shall be paid in full lest you be eaten by my buddy here." Looks around and awaits for the first douche to speak up. |
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You sir, are insane! Kittie throws her empty paper coffee cup at the man. Use this to collect you "tax" like all insane street bums! |
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| Reply by: KittieCapone at Apr 02, '09 02:26 | |
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I will pay you for my protection only as much as I would pay Butt_Ox to have sex. 12 dollars, entirely in change. |
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| Reply by: Alfieri at Apr 02, '09 02:31 | |
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| I think I might miss your silly humor Revan. Really I think I will | |
| Reply by: Prozac at Apr 02, '09 02:31 | |
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| Alfieri... Nickles or pennies?? | |
| Reply by: KittieCapone at Apr 02, '09 02:35 | |
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Caius had been one of the few that remained, leaned up against a fence post drinking coffee with kitty and discusing a document he had been needing reviewed... After the announcement, Caius grinned... eager earners are good for business. Good luck youngling. |
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| Reply by: Caius at Apr 02, '09 02:37 | |
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Apr 02, '09 02:38 Your accountant has made payment of $50,000 to BobTheBuilder. Please keep the monkey off my territory. THANKS! |
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| Reply by: JimmyTheLionHeart at Apr 02, '09 02:39 | |
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Aurora quickly coughs up the 50k she won on blackjack an hour ago. Please consider that my tax payment. Please don't let Larry kill Marietta. Thank you in advance. |
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| Reply by: Aurora at Apr 02, '09 02:49 | |
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__ Extortion works?? Why haven't I heard about this tactic before? |
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| Reply by: KittieCapone at Apr 02, '09 02:54 | |
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| This is a brilliant way to collect money, Good Sir. :) | |
| Reply by: AvantGarde at Apr 02, '09 03:01 | |
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| Of course it can work. I thought we were in the Mafia? | |
| Reply by: Aurora at Apr 02, '09 03:01 | |
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Kittie tries to manage a retort but is stunned by the obvious brilliance of those around her. She finally sits on the curb in a stupified wonder. The... the... the mafia. Extortion. My God. What have I been missing? |
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| Reply by: KittieCapone at Apr 02, '09 03:07 | |
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Aurora walks over to Kittie and strokes her back. She has to walk away after a couple minutes as she started sneezing like crazy. Sorry, i'm allergic to long haired cats. |
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| Reply by: Aurora at Apr 02, '09 03:15 | |
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Apr 02, '09 03:02 Your accountant has made payment of $2 to BobTheBuilder. My Job is done. |
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| Reply by: TM-Scarface at Apr 02, '09 03:17 | |
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It's ok Aurora. My hair is sort of baby doll style right now anyhow. Kittie continues to ponder the amazing things she has heard. |
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| Reply by: KittieCapone at Apr 02, '09 03:22 | |
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Why do you act so surprised? This is the Mafia and I am an extortioneer of sorts. What is there not to get? Go out and buy a gigantic Gorilla and you too can have these riches yourself! Jumps onto the back of his ape companion and begins to ride around the people, eying down everyone who has refused to pay up already. |
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| Reply by: BobTheBuilder at Apr 02, '09 03:28 | |
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| how much for the gorilla :) | |
| Reply by: Alfredo-the-Mouth at Apr 02, '09 04:01 | |
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I can sell you a stinky goat for twenty five grand, but the Gorrila will cost you five hundred thousand. You take some time to think that over with yourself and you too can rule a little piece of this crazy world that we live in. Scopes out more people that have yet to pay... or as I like to call them, "Larry Snacks". |
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| Reply by: BobTheBuilder at Apr 02, '09 04:06 | |
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so what can i expect from stinky........... alf rubs his hands as he wants a piece of the extortion pie |
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| Reply by: Alfredo-the-Mouth at Apr 02, '09 04:09 | |
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Oh, Stinky will give you everything from a range of scary faces and bad smells, he is great for beginner extortionists. Now, just hand over that twenty five grand and he could be all yours. Smiles keenly and shows Stinky to the man. |
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| Reply by: BobTheBuilder at Apr 02, '09 04:17 | |
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