Reaper Daily


Wackback Overload
by. Tommy_Carroll

In the last couple of days there has been a lot of wackbacks. There has been a total of 6 high ranked deaths in the last 3 days(GRTS) that I can think of. The highest rank being Godfather/Don and the lowest Boss. What I have to ask though is why now, almost straight after a war? The cities major effected by these wackbacks were St.Louis, New York, Philly, Detroit and Chicago. I would like to also know if those unfortunate enough to lose their lives, if their children inherited their parents FULL wealth. Because of this fault in the universe 5 cities have had great losses, the least the gods can do is throw some money at them, I think so anyway?

The Daily Joke
Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
The barman said, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"
Bush said, "We're planning World War III."
The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"
Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"

Reaper Daily Notice:

Mr.Tommy_Carroll has regrettably left as a writer for Reaper Daily. He was a great writer and will be missed at the office.

Chicago jail list
Guards Username Sentenced On Sentence Time left 125%-0
4 Grizzly 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
2 don-campbell 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Declan 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Rorschach 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Magic_Eye 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Shawty 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
7 Q_Legacy 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 EZRyder 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
20 Billy_Bathtub 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
3 PDog 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Billy_Kendall 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 MickeyTheAnimal 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Pazzesco 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
3 Darby_Cash 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
6 SniperInsano 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
4 Sienna 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
8 TBK 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Shocker 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
20 Satanta 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
9 Calibre 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Glazer 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
3 k9 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
3 Repetz 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 JohnnyTheMan 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
4 Cameron_White 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
1 April 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
1 Santino_Corleone 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
20 tiggy 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
20 Mr_47 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
7 Deathizomin 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 kenantjuh22 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Antony_Luca 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 jager 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Little-Jacob 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
2 shelly 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
4 Ikke 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Roman 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
2 KING_BRIZY 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 moneyking 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 The_Cleaner- 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 YeahLena83 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
20 Kendra 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 fudgeinator 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 takashi 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
20 Belle 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 The-Tunisian 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 realdeal45 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
3 Jacques_Mesrine 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
9 Gracie 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 Slappie 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 FrantisekIII 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
2 Mogwai 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 Massakre187 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
20 Marco 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 -Arabella- 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 RazorBladePietro 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
9 ChaosSpike 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 maishaf 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 coolkid98 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
20 Administrator 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
2 MonKeyMaDnesS 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
10 Adam-T-Simpson 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
3 Tommy_2_GunZ 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
20 None 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
6 -Raptor- 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 Aphrodite 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
1 Chiara 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 Ribbit 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
4 freestyle 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
2 JohnnyMack 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Lone_Wanderer 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
8 Frankie_Sparks 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
3 hazmeista 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
4 Alaborn 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 The_Liar 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
3 Chilli_Palmer 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 Irish-Mobboss 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
2 Verty 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
20 Kittie 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 MoneyBags 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
6 Mr_Sewer 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 ElPatron 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
4 TheDeathShouts 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
2 Blunt_man 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 -Bonez- 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Anthony_LaPaglia 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Birdy_Abundas 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
4 caboose-5 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
5 Nikolas 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
9 Geraldine_Castellano 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go
0 JohnBlackburn 01/28 17:49 0 seconds. Free to go

Recent deaths:

ReiteR None Gangster Dead Jan 21, '10 17:47 Jan 28, '10 17:48
_Frank_Wilcox None Gangster Dead Jan 21, '10 17:41 Jan 28, '10 17:42
Phillip-Davila None Gangster Dead Jan 21, '10 17:33 Jan 28, '10 17:34
WickedKlown None Gangster Dead Jan 21, '10 16:20 Jan 28, '10 16:21
Vincent_Floyd None Gangster Dead Jan 21, '10 16:07 Jan 28, '10 16:18
timmywho None Gangster Dead Jan 21, '10 16:17 Jan 28, '10 16:18
GregoryMorgan None Gangster Dead Jan 21, '10 16:14 Jan 28, '10 16:15
DouglasCruz None Gangster Dead Jan 21, '10 16:08 Jan 28, '10 16:09
ernestolambert None Gangster Dead Jan 21, '10 16:07 Jan 28, '10 16:07

It hurts my eyes to read your paper.

Don't spam Jail times on a paper for the cops to check.

He sighs.

Would it be asking too much for you and your assistance to put a little effort into this supposed 'News Paper'? A paper should contain information, events that have occurred, and incidents for the general public to read and discuss. Jotting down random jail list, and the last couple hours Obits its hardly worth putting together in an attempt to post another paper.

Who are Bush and Powell? What is World War III? Why are you filling your paper with meaningless information that becomes totally useless shortly after publishing?

composes herself

Mr. Reaper. I will pay you one million dollars to buy your paper from you. In addition to the paper, I also require a solemn oath that you or your bloodline will never produce any newspaper, news bulletin, or any publication in any genre, at all, of any sort, to be released in a public forum.

In return, 1 million dollars will be transferred to you immediately. Please let me know.

if you want the paper Ms.Kates okay.

Swear the auth The-Repear! Please, swear the auth!

I swear.

Oath, Wraith. Oath. You just gave me a bit of a heart attack.

Please state "I solemnly swear that I renounce my paper to Godmother Kates and make a blood oath that both myself and my bloodline will never be able to produce any sort of newspaper, news bullentin, or any sort of publication or periodical or episodic and sequential grouping of words of any kind in any public forum. Failure to uphold my oath is a forfeiture of my life. Half the payment will be received immediately and half will be received within one month after it is clear my oath has been and will continue to be uphold."

Then, Mr. Reaper, we shall complete our transaction.

I solemnly swear that I renounce my paper to Godmother Kates and make a blood oath that both myself and my bloodline will never be able to produce any sort of newspaper, news bullentin, or any sort of publication or periodical or episodic and sequential grouping of words of any kind in any public forum. Failure to uphold my oath is a forfeiture of my life. Half the payment will be received immediately and half will be received within one month after it is clear my oath has been and will continue to be uphold. i was getting tired of it any way.

Drexl makes a facial expression that resembles a colon and an open-parenthesis to express his sadness

Rest in Peace "Reaper Daily". You shall be missed more than you know.

Drexl walks away solemnly, head hung low, hoping somebody from the Sweeney bloodline picks up where The Reaper left off

Jan 28, '10 19:27 Your accountant has made payment of $500,000 to The-Reaper.

Gentlemen... welcome to The Kates Daily. The Reaper Daily is no more.

Viva La Resistance!

balian lets out a sigh

Rest in peace "Reaper Daily."  Bravo, God Mother Kates, bravo.

I thought that it was for a million?? Either way, RIP Reaper Daily, may your legacy live on for as long as the lifespan of an HQ'd thug.

Didn't hear Godmother Kates state the month later clause of the deal. Apologies.

I am hard of hearing, auth, oath, oaf, loaf, I wasn't sure what was going on, I was just so excited when I heard the words "your bloodline will never produce any newspaper, news bulletin, or any publication in any genre, at all, of any sort, to be released in a public forum."

I think I will actually sleep easier tonight.

Godmother Kates, you have done this world a service, for that I thank you.

I can officially say I was the last ever winner of a Reaper Daily contest.

No, Mr. Schrute. We are all winners today.

I'm glad we have one less sub-standard paper on our streets, those poors tree's gave their lives to print it...

He wanders off with a depressed look on his face.

Wouldn't it be awesome if The Reaper was actually a brilliant con man, and this entire publication was just a ruse to score an easy one million from Godfather Kates?

If only it were true, I would have faith in humanity once again.