Okay, so I was strolling down the street the other day...okay, so I don't do as much strolling as I used to.  What can I say I'm old and fat.  But anyway, that's not the point.  I'm also grumpy, and that's the point.  So, anyway, where was I?  Okay, maybe a little forgetful too.  Oh yeah, so I was strolling down the street the other day and I came across some interesting gangsters. 

I'm not so sure the gangsters themselves are interesting, but their names sure are.  And when I say interesting, I mean weird.  Some so weird they're too hard to pronounce.  Others just meaningless.  And others, ridiculous.  You can figure out who you are.  But wait!  You don't have to.  I'm going to call you out, I mean HELP  you out.  And rename you.  For my benefit. 

Disclaimer:  All name changes are legal and binding.  From this day forward, you must sign all documents with your new legal name.  Otherwise, they will be void. 

Okay.  Before I start the process of renaming you, I want to make sure the entire community has my permission to call you by your new name. 

So, here goes...

Vinnie_BagoDonuts.  You are now know as Vinnie_BoxoDonuts. 

Everybody knows that donuts stay better in a box.

CantThinkofAName, you are now known as John_Smith. 

There, thought of a name for you.  Boring, but CantThinkofAName is something special?

ThePerfumer, you are now known as Vinnie-The-Skunk.

I think you know why.

BloodyFaster, you are now known as Premature_Ejaculation.

No explanation necessary.

________, you are now known as Underline.

As much as you want to be called Veronica, just doesn't seem appropriate. 

Majestic, you are now known as Larry_Lowborn.

I just like L names.

Wacktard, you are now known as Re-Tard.

Just because.

MrPigFaceWeaponWaist, yeah, you are now known as Bacon.

So many more names, so little time.   For all of you who have new names, I cannot answer you unless you sign your new name.  Thanks. 

Seen as you took the time out of you busy life to think of names for us i guess i should repay the favour...

"Anyone think of a better name for WillHayes?"

And by "I" i mean "We"....

Guess WillHaynes name for me is Underline.

Anyone else who wishes to use this name, go for it.

Wouldn't repaying the favor mean you have to think for the name yourself? Or did I mishear and you are running for our help to get back at the meanie boy making fun of you?

SpaceMountain is now known as "Useless C"

"Mean"... Hell i would not even come close to calling Mr. Hays that. He's more like a cutie teddy bear than anything.

WillHayes is now known as "Regina Collins"

Iota is now known as "Fat Man in a Little Coat"

Ahahahaha.  Wait!  I like Regina Collins.  I can live with that. 

Love,

Regina Collins

-Raptor- is now known as "Hull City Association Football Club." His formal name must be used at all times.

Gwarble is henceforth referred to as "The Little Tugboat Who Could"

Matterhorn is now known as "UCLASUCKS"

Why hello there, Useless C.

"Isn't whether or name sucks or not based on what that person thinks?" Arynn muses. "Not mention there are folks such as myself who go by something other than the name we use elsewhere."

Whether a name sucks or not isn't my concern.  Certainly I have my own opinions on the subject, but I shall keep those to myself.  I simply changed a few names to make it easier on myself. 

For instance, wordslinger with a couple of -s on either side is too difficult for me to remember.  From this point forward, you shall be known as Cross_Word. 

Why?  Because what you said is still a puzzle. 

Arynn laughs, wondering what is the matter with this poor fellow. If he can't remember simple dashes in a person's name, something has to be wrong. 

"Whatever floats your boat, I suppose," she says out loud. 

Surely PigFace is just as easy to remember as Bacon? Or you could have at least gone with MrBacon to keep some sort of tie with my actual name.

Before you even think of saying it Don Regina, I will let you know that I will not be called LoudlyWhiningInsect.

Disclaimer: The use of that name is completely forbidden by any one at any time. The mention of it here was to block the Don of New York now known as Regina from creating it himself (herself?).

Oh dear lord I thought we got over our crossdressing Don fad in New York.

Try fucking with Aftershock. Boo ya!