Many people don't know CrazyNine was the youngest of two sons. His father was a texas tea oligarch and his mother was a loving housewife. Because of his fathers wealth, growing up, little CrazyNine and his brother had every toy and gadget money could buy. The kitchen spoons they were fed with were made from the purest silver; yet it was clear from an early age, CrazyNine was cut from a different cloth.

CrazyNine was smaller than his brother, less athletic, had slower cognitive skills (likely ADD) and as they aged he showed no interest in sports or girls.

Due to the fathers profession, he was not around much and since CrazyNine didn't like to share and thus not have many friends, he spent most of his time with his mother. They would bath together, she taught him it was best to pee sitting down, she taught him how to bake and how to sew and they were generally just best friends.

His mother was very protective of her boys and probably even more so with CrazyNine due to his handicaps.

Captain of the polo team, CrazyNine's brother was always the center of attention but this didn't seem to bother CrazyNine much.

One day at a polo match, when everyone was cheering on the game, CrazyNine was occupied behind the stands playing in a puddle with his toy boat, wearing his favourite sailor hat.

"SWISH SWASH SWISHHHHH", he would yell as he navigated his small boat through the water.

As CrazyNine was acting out his version of Vasco da Gama, another boy named Deimne approached and was watching with much curiosity.

TO BE CONTINUED..

ALSO NEXT.. DIRTYLITTLESEKRIT - THE 400 LB BEHEMOTH

Awww.... the memories... it brought tears into my eyes.

Hey! Who stole my tampons!

Hearing another disgruntled petty thief, lolcat springs into action. There's nothing like a mangled bit of idiotic public speaking to draw the mockery of a fuzzy feline. Our friend kitteh looks the little boy Ahmadinejad up and down and instantly knows what ails the poor creature: a distinct case of sexual repression brought on by an inability to attract any individuals of the opposite gender, resulting in the necessity of projecting female attributes onto any male who makes the mistake of getting within eyesight. Poor CrazyNine just wanted to buy some gasoline, but Ahmadinejad had seen him through the station windows while comparing himself with the hot dogs. In any case, lolcat knew just how to fix the situation, and offered a bit of constructive criticism.

ohai der amadeejad, i jus thawt id let u know dat i r nt surpized u haz no gurl bcuz of ur dolz n stuf

With that, our illustrious kitten disappeared into the night. Once again, mission accomplished.

By the way, what's so wrong with peeing sitting? If I suddenly feel like taking a crap, I'm already in position.

What an eloquent conversation.

Oh mine Can't we even pee now as we want to, atleast give that much freedom, I love this poition. And please just try it for once atleast Dear amadeejad, You will feel so......

Oh, boy. How I wish I could have heard how that sentence was gonna end.

And others asked me why I need to have my own bathroom.

Singer listens to this big nose kid talk about Crazynine as if he knew.

Ahmadinejad Besides the fact that your name sounds rediculous Your story was worse. What kind of point were you trying to make here kid? that you have nothing better to do with your life then make up stories that everyone knows is false. Way to go Ahmadinejad you are a complete waste of time.

Singer walks up to the man with a very long name then spits on his shoe

Wow. When CrazyNine was a child he acted like... a child.

This revelation has surely changed my life. I had always thought he was a mobster from the age of three, and by the age of four he was knocking over seven elevens and generally acting like a fully grown adult mobster.

CrazyNine is right, if I'm peeing standing up and all of a sudden I need to crap it is most uncomfortable having to stop peeing and then going to crap. Sitting down in the first place saves so much time and effort.


Afro sticks his hand in his pocket and hands CrazyNine a tampon

Here you go Godfather - I am always prepared in case my man-period starts early.

What is a Seven-Eleven?

Theresa watches SINGER spit on someone. Much disgusted she shakes her head.

Ahmadinejad did CrazyNine do something to upset you that much you need to write a thread about him? Honestly you just sound so hurt. Why not come up with another way to use your anger? Such as oh I dont know putting it towards actually doing something constructive?

bah, i don't see his mad at someone, maybe you just want public attention hey ahmadinejad?

or maybe you right theresa, maybe the godfather upset him until he can't take it anymore, then he solve the problem with telling a fake past story

shivy laughing until he can't breath then he fell over

Good question Anselmo. I'm afraid I forgot to take my OOCitis tablets which were prescribed to me recently, which lead to strange words coming from my mouth which even I don't understand. I'm pretty sure I meant to say 'Post offices'.

Afro smiles, and wanders towards CrazyNine's OOCitis clinic to get some more pills

Theresa, what would you suggest he should do? Shoot the Bodyguard of one of my thugs?

CrazyNine that wasn't what I was going to suggest for him. I was going to suggest that maybe he rank and become something other than what he currently is portraying himself to be. Grow into a trusted and respected individual.

Godfather CrazyNine, I am sure shooting the BGs of on of your thugs or even you is destructive deed more of it being a constructive one, and as you can the advice my associate had to that guy was finding something constructive to do.

well i don't see he capable of shooting, but what the heck it is not the way to solve it, if he shoot at CrazyNine BG or his thugs BG, he will be a goner i say.

shivanok, no one said he was going to shoot at Godfather CrazyNine's BGs nor at him personally.
I think it was just Godfather CrazyNine trying to get the words of my associate clear.

woah, so it's all in my imagination then?

guess i take it to far, sorry for the trouble to explain it for me alessandro