Former RHM Of ~Shameless~ 

The Sexiest Crew To grace MR

MafiaReturns Player Club - Facebook Fan group for anyone that loves MafiaReturns!

Click Here to visit the group!

Join the Discord server here: https://discord.gg/0siWLIwoln4H65O9

KThnxBai <3 <--You see someone with that tag? Guess what...     I own their ass <3
Property List: Filipro,  Synergy, Achmed_Spyman, Jen
 

Success! Achmed_Spyman was set free.

#‎JesusTheGangsterMakingMafiaReturnsGreatAgainSinceSomePointIn2016‬     PP FRIENDLY- GIVE BACK HALF OF WHAT YOU TAKE!!!              

M*You are also liable to be mugged as I see fit, should I see who you are even if you intend to pay back. This is a fair disclaimer do not cry when you get mugged*

Except Jen, You can touch my butt whenever you want.

https://i.gyazo.com/a35d6df1fe2e582f967f1f0e48865f7b.gif

When life gives you lemons, pass them on and then beat people up for protection money after they make a lemonade stand.

"Buy Betty_McDonaldson a CA fund #4"

Current Credits: 0.00

Amount to gain: 10.00

Feel free to donate <3

Previously Funded Funds:

"Buy Kangeroo a Timers Package fund #2"

"Buy Bowie a Timers Package fund"

"Buy Bowie a CA fund #1"

"Buy Father_B a CA fund #2"

"Buy Kangeroo a CA fund #3"

MafiaReturns Player Club - Facebook Fan group for anyone that loves MafiaReturns!

Click Here to visit the group!

Current Love Portions

35% - Jen
30% - Tony_Capone
10% - Marasov
10% - CookieStealer
15% - Tianna_Blackheart
 

 

May 22, 18:42:11	Miss_Niki has revoked your Permanent Wack Auth.
May 22, 18:41:46	You tried to WACK! シMiss_Niki
May 22, 18:36:10	シMiss_Niki granted your request for permanent WACK! authorization.

 

[03:26] MDMA: NY OC
[03:27] Kangeroo: licks MDMA and is overwhelmed by a vision of a PoisonCentipede telling a man known as Scarface that Honesty is a best choice while a little MrOwl watches above from the tree top.
[03:27] PoisonCentipede: Why you do this to us Kangeroo
[03:27] MDMA: WHY
[03:27] Shadow_Reborn_Again: ._.
[03:27] MrOwl: what is even going on
[03:27] PoisonCentipede: You make my name go all bing bong bing

[20:12] <Jen> BOWIE BABY!
[20:12] * Jen tackles Bowie
[20:12] * Bowie grinds
[20:12] <Jen> WRONG PARTS BOWIE ABORT MISSION
[20:12] * Jen was kicked by Bubba (Turn caps lock OFF!)

To: Bowie
From: tony_capone
Sent: Jan 08, '17 01:49
Subject:

SO HARD

 

To: Bowie
From: tony_capone
Sent: Jan 08, '17 01:52
Subject:

Now I'm in there

 The Quotes Of People

Bodie - i went to bowies friendzone once it was terrifying
<Nio> longer & harder
<Revan> everyone always just assumes because of how well a sausage can slide down my throat

You purchased 11,000,000 tickets in the cash lottery for $11,000,000.

Boss of

● Polaris ●

Former Capo of

Le Promiscuous Croissants part deux!

[10:43:21] <CalogeroDiSalvo> yeah anal leakage is a bitch sometimes

[10:43:30] <CalogeroDiSalvo> is like a slugs crawled round my house

[10:43:36] <CalogeroDiSalvo> but is not silvery

[23:17] <~MafiaReturns> SUICIDE: Hunter (Wise Guy) - Zaheer

Name: Titan

Status: Dead

The highest Cokes ever been: http://i.imgur.com/11PgZJz.jpg

Profile Images for Females:

http://i.imgur.com/GlJ5wUW.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/zOGBrTr.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/V10qMNK.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/jVqA2u4.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/QMGOMPY.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/sUs8DWN.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/pbVcWDy.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/XTTVF57.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/CYrDyRo.jpg

CA - http://i.imgur.com/PlhDPep.jpg

The Quotes of Hunter A.K.A MafiaTrivia

[21:26] <Hunter> If I found you in real life I will break your phone if I have to

 [21:28] <Hunter> I will buy your house and make it so it's mine and kick you out

You are 6 years old...

    or  74 months old
    or  325 weeks old
    or  2,281 days old
    or  54,766 hours old
    or  3,285,973 minutes old
    or  197,158,383 seconds old

and your next birthday celebration is in:
275 days 1 hr 46 mins 58 secs.

Created: Mon, 21 Jun 2010 16:35:18

Total Kill Record Since Start Date:
1 Attempted player kill ;  2 Players ; 4 Rogues ; 1 MIA

https://mafiareturns.com/dog_simulator/

https://mafiareturns.com/dog_simulator/thanks.php

https://mafiareturns.com/dog_simulator/michael_vick.php

https://mafiareturns.com/dog_simulator/final.php

https://mafiareturns.com/graveyard.php

850.  Scaletta is too young to die. (Time: 44:38)

Nov 06, 16:12:57 You WACKED! Rogue.

193.  Success! Dat bum's swimmin with da fishes. (Time: 58:20)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ಥ_ಥ

٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶

ಠ▃ಠ

R.I.P Prolong ;

My Love, My Hope, My Only On True Desire

The Strange Conversations of Bella and Moloch

Come chat to us on Zello!

*Download link here*

Once downloaded, search and join the room MafiaReturns

Former Associate of

● La Famiglia Gato ●

Former Boss of

The Fucking Rain
"You can't have a rainbow without a little fucking rain."

division of

RAINBOW Corporation

Bitch we are FABULOUS

Former Made Man of

~The Loitador Family~

Former Left Hand Man of

Jacob's Creek Crime Syndicate

The Syndicate has fallen, but the dream still lives on.

R.I.P Jacob, Fipster and all the others <3

Rest in Peace Kangeroo + Berty <3

[Misfits]
We few, we chosen few.

Loyal member of The Cookie Jar!

This is my Family, More even than my own Family.

The Jar may have been broken, but the memories and friendships will carry on.

R.I.P CookieZombie

<3 <3 <3 Fipster

<3 <3 <3 <3 RafiBomb

<3 <3 Anerx

Member of Inglewood Fanatics

BellaSangre spots something on the paper no one should ever have to see. Kill-The-Irishman spelling without the assistance of Capitalist. "hulp, i looost ell ma moneh on dise"

Success! Whor-able was set free.

Success! MementoMori was set free.

Dec 18, 20:10:33

±Squishy has invited you to a crime. (Accept) - (Decline)

[04:06:19] <Ted> Now I'm not important enough to be talked about? :(

[04:06:27] <Ted> I'm leaving before my little heart explodes.

ƒips†e®, <-- Not very proud owner of his 4099th mail :'(

Zinner,

Capitalist,

Moloch,

Whorable,

Jacob,

Kill-The-Irishman,

FatTony,

AfghanMango,

Argus,

Inglewood Fanatics,

Jacob's Creek Crime Syndicate,

CookieZombie

RafiBomb <-- The most amazing Sir you will ever meet <3

Bodie - i went to bowies friendzone once it was terrifying

Zoro

Alex

Link

Twat features.. Forgot his name.. Fred or something like that..

Thad

Yar.. That's everyone..

	Feb 13, 16:05:07	Round #2: You ELIMINATED DavidBowie! They were disguised as Made Man DavidBowie (AlexMoran).
	Feb 13, 16:05:07	Round #2: You have been Eliminated from the VDay contest by someone disguised as _Purrrrrfect.
	Feb 13, 16:00:43	Round #2: You ELIMINATED DavidBowie! They were disguised as Made Man DavidBowie (AlexMoran).
	Feb 13, 16:00:43	Round #2: You have been Eliminated from the VDay contest by someone disguised as _Purrrrrfect.

Feb 13, 16:35:13

Round #2: You have been Eliminated from the VDay contest by someone disguised as _Discolicious_

To: Kangeroo
From: Zed
Sent: Jun 16, '15 21:48
Subject:

IT'S THE EFFECT OF V

---

To: Zed
From: Kangeroo
Sent: Jun 16, '15 21:47
Subject:

 

I AM SO WET RIGHT NOW IT IS UNBELIEVABLE

You know you're shit when you get wacked 3 times in Vday. Twice by shooting yourself and once by someone else :|

Bobby_Singer screams for the police like a little girl.

I'm coming for you... I watch you while you sleep... Come... Sit on my Knee's..

"There's a Star man, Waiting in the sky. He'd like to come and meet us but he think's he'd whack our minds"

You get more Dogs with dead kittens than you do with Bones.

[16:40:59] <Jaguar> Spent an hour building a trainset. Fun day

I'm an Autistic Little Bitch.. Now Deal with it.

Hound. He is a sexual guy with lots of brains, But not enough nipples.

Slow down skippy! You have 1 minute and 29 seconds before you can do that again!

Your gang earned a total of $352,000 split 4 ways.

[03:14] <&IzzyCreamcheese> whipped cream is made from heavy cream
[03:14] <&IzzyCreamcheese> you add sugar
[03:14] <&IzzyCreamcheese> and beat it like a red headed step child

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad Trying hard not to smile though I feel b

To: Father_Bathory
From: MementoMori
Sent: Nov 18, '14 10:49
Subject:

I DID ANAL YESTERDAY

ad I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve I have a history of taking off my shirt

[14:41:04] <-Maxwell> How is everyone?

[14:41:17] <DocHoliday> Not too bad, you?

[14:41:29] <-Maxwell> Not to bad a lil hung

[14:41:34] <-Maxwell> you?

[14:42:07] <Bowie> Sufficiently okay to a relatively satisfactory level.

[14:44:35] <-Maxwell> very nice I shall now take my herbal supplements to get were that guys at ^

[14:44:46] <-Maxwell> a relatively satisfactory level...

[14:46:12] <-AnnieO-> Lol

[14:46:59] <Steelfree-WestDaBest> Have some nice songs around indeed

[14:47:40] <Bowie> Bitch please, One does not simply reach this level of happiness from taking herbal supplements. One must inject five whole Rabbit Shits directly into the median cubital vein.

[14:48:29] <Steelfree-WestDaBest> I will ask 6 in a few h

[14:48:46] <Steelfree-WestDaBest> Biatch

[14:49:11] <-Maxwell> Well then. Dont beleive I ever tried perticipated in injecting rabbit shits directly into my median cutbitial vein

[14:49:17] <Bowie> http://i.imgur.com/e0boRZc.gif

- BareNaked Ladies - One Week

You purchased 1000000 tickets for $1 each.

You currently own 1,119,796 tickets.

You have been logged on for 12:1:58 (hour:min:sec). I got married once, thats why I now play MM!

Proud Member Of...

Best one so far.

Apparently, Georgie The Lion's Den Mitchell put in a good word for you. Perhaps

we shall alter the way we do our business a little bit to reflect this. Mmm... drugs! You pocket $4,261 after sending up $1,598 in tribute

ILoveMyFamily!

REST IN PEACE

Manuel_Mohammed

Old_Creepy_Uncle

David_Bowie

Kanger00

Kangeroo x2

JXXXE.

Kangaroo.

Whiskey, Tingles the tastebuds. Hardens the Penis.

Need a Friend? Mail Me.

Kangeroo, stop mailing him now :p

It's not Kangeroo, the mentalist.

524 Members online in the last 60 seconds:

An orange a day keeps the lemons away!

[11:48:24] <Nessa> nothing makes me happier than when my neice try to fart and end up shitting themselves

[20:12:54] <Nessa> CASS

[20:12:59] <Nessa> YOu dont have to sneak

[20:13:03] <Nessa> If you wanna touch the booty

[20:13:06] <Nessa> Just touch it.

[20:13:42] <Cassandane> I just did ;) I love touching your booty

[20:13:51] <Nessa> wiggles it for you

[20:14:08] <Kangeroo> Weeehhh..... D:

[20:14:15] <Cassandane> it's so nice and soft and grabby living

[20:14:25] <Cassandane> loving*

[20:14:27] <Nessa> lol

[20:14:37] <Nessa> I was like "my butt is living! ITS ALIVE!"

[20:14:50] <Cassandane> Hahaha

[20:15:13] <Cassandane> your booty is so sexy so it probably could be alive

[20:15:30] <Nessa> Girl look at dat booty

[20:15:34] <Nessa> check out dat booty

[20:15:38] <Cassandane> did you grab my booty too?

[20:15:53] <Nessa> Always

[20:16:13] <Cassandane> oh I'm feeling so happy and sexy now

[20:16:21] <Cassandane> feeling so loved!!! :D

 

To: Kangeroo
From: Nessa
Sent: Sep 28, '15 11:15
Subject:

You have waaaay too much in your profile

[01:16] <Revan> shot through the heart
[01:16] <Revan> and you're to blame
[01:16] <Revan> you give love
[01:17] <Bowie_Capone> A bad name
[01:17] <Revan> I was going to ask you for a duel but accidentally did a duet

[16:05:27] <Kangeroo> winks at SirPrizeButtSax

[16:11:26] <SirPrizeButtSax> winks back at kangeroo

[16:11:50] <Scarecrow> does too

[16:11:59] <Nessa> winks at everyone

[16:30:05] <Kangeroo> Gaise, you cant wink unless u get dah joooke...

[16:33:00] <Nessa> winks more

[16:33:03] <Nessa> furiously winks

[16:39:00] <Kangeroo> becomes moist

[16:39:03] <Kangeroo> Oh fuck..

[16:39:08] <Kangeroo> breaks down onto the floor

[16:39:13] <Kangeroo> pee's a little

[16:39:19] <Kangeroo> lays there on the floor motionless.

[16:39:27] <Kangeroo> begins winking until the end of time

[16:42:54] <Nessa> I SAID WINK

[16:42:56] <Nessa> NOT WANK

[16:42:57] <Nessa> YOU IDIOT

[16:43:09] <Nessa> Believe me, I double and triple checked!

 

[03:36:53] Falcone: Jesus.. Bowie... such..... a Majestic profile...
[03:37:01] Mastermind: Told ya
[03:37:09] Samantha: I am on it so many times.
[03:37:10] Samantha: O MANY
[03:37:15] Samantha: Although Shameless is not on there yet
[03:37:17] Samantha: stares at Bowie
[03:37:21] Samantha: stares at Bowie more
[03:37:59] Bowie: winks at Samantha.
[03:38:08] Bowie: raises a brow.
[03:38:14] Samantha: winks at Bowie
[03:38:40] Bowie: winks at everyone
[03:38:47] Falcone: so much winking
[03:38:49] Samantha: furiously winks
[03:38:57] Bowie: becomes moist
[03:38:59] Bowie: Oh fuck..
[03:39:03] Bowie: breaks down onto the floor
[03:39:08] Bowie: pee's a little
[03:39:13] Samantha: Jesus christ not this again
[03:39:15] Samantha: I SAID WINK
[03:39:16] Samantha: NOT WANK
[03:39:16] Bowie: lay's there on the floor motionless
[03:39:19] Samantha: NOT WANK BOWIE
[03:39:19] Falcone: xD
[03:39:21] Samantha: good lord man
[03:39:23] Bowie: begins winking till the end of time,
[03:39:24] Mastermind: da fuq
[03:39:25] Samantha: throws tissues at you
[03:39:30] Samantha: get yourself together.
[03:39:35] Samantha: And pull your kilt down
[03:39:44] Falcone: he'll be fine right?
[03:39:49] Bowie: Can't..
[03:39:51] Bowie: breath..
[03:39:52] Bowie: send..
[03:39:53] Bowie: help
[03:39:54] Bowie: xD
[03:39:57] Bowie: oh my fuck xD
[03:40:02] Samantha: Bowie wants mouth to mouth
[03:40:07] Samantha: Thats not on me
[03:40:10] Samantha: Wheres your husband.
[03:40:14] Falcone: Jen.. go do it.
[03:40:19] Samantha: I dont have the right bits.
[03:40:20] Falcone: pushes Jen to boiwe.
[03:40:21] Samantha: Im an innie
[03:40:23] Samantha: he wants an outie
[03:40:24] Samantha: Right Bowie?
[03:40:41] Bowie: nods while winking
[03:40:45] Samantha: Omg stop winking
[03:40:45] Drogo: I need an adult after reading this conversation.
[03:40:49] Samantha: jesus in public as well
[03:41:06] Samantha: starts spraying lysol everywhere
[03:41:08] Samantha: so many cooties
[03:41:11] Samantha: just all over the place.
[03:41:17] Falcone: takes out gasoline and pours gasoline everywhere.

[02:49:30] <-Iskandar> Garrus!?
[02:49:39] <-Iskandar> Hello!?

[02:52:07] <Kangeroo> Is it me you're looking for?

[02:52:12] <Kangeroo> I can see it in your eyes.

[02:52:17] <Kangeroo> I can see it in your smile.

[02:54:43] <Kangeroo> Okay, I admit it. I can't actually see it in your eyes. I left my microscope at home and let's face it, without it I ain't seeing much within your eyes..

[02:54:49] <Kangeroo> But I can see it in your smile!

[02:56:05] <Kangeroo> Okay fine. I lied.. I can't see it in your smile either..

[02:56:11] <Kangeroo> I was just trying to impess you..

[02:56:14] <Kangeroo> WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME!

[02:56:45] <Kangeroo> All I ever do is sleep, wake up, cook your meals, feed your dogs and sleep again!

[02:56:55] <Kangeroo> I have no me time! Why can't you appreciate that?!

[02:57:18] <Kangeroo> All I ever want.. Is for you, my darling precious, to show me some love every now and then.

[02:57:52] <Kangeroo> Cook me a damn lasagna or something. Pour me a glass of wine. I don't know! Just show that I mean something to you!

[02:58:11] <Kangeroo> Or at least answer my damn texts

[02:58:25] <Kangeroo> Worthless good for nothing piece of shit.

[02:58:38] <Kangeroo> I don't know what I ever saw in you...

[02:58:44] <Kangeroo> walks away from the mirror

[02:58:54] <Ricky22> :/

[15:57:19] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> Your stealth sucks ass

[15:57:42] <RickJames> What?

[15:57:45] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> Jul 23, 15:56:50 +RickJames took $2,095 from you.

[15:57:59] <RickJames> How's it stealth

[15:58:01] <RickJames> Lol

[15:58:24] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> That's what I'm saying you dumb fuck, your stealth level sucks ass..

[15:58:42] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> Sucks ass = It's fuckin' shit

[15:59:04] <RickJames> How am I a dumb fuck when you can see my name.. It clearly isn't stealth ass hat.

[15:59:42] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> Oh my sweet lord chesus crust..

[10:36:49] <CalogeroDiSalvo> we the only ones here. we can do anything and no one will know

[10:36:50] <CalogeroDiSalvo> ol

[10:36:58] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> Exactly.

[10:37:06] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> pisses on RickJames' cereal

[10:37:40] <CalogeroDiSalvo> masterbates on the breakfast table and pees on the toilet seat

[10:37:44] <CalogeroDiSalvo> and leaves it down

[10:37:52] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> D:

[10:37:56] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> Holy shit, you're not holding back..

[10:38:27] <CalogeroDiSalvo> shits in the washing machines and then puts everyone elses clothers in and starts a wash

[10:38:50] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> °_°

 

[10:41:05] <CalogeroDiSalvo> i use to have a thing on the side, and some of the punishments that got her the most

[10:41:20] <CalogeroDiSalvo> weren't the nipple clamps, weights, pegs on a string or butt plugs

[10:41:27] <CalogeroDiSalvo> is things like no computer

[10:41:32] <CalogeroDiSalvo> no coffee for the day

[10:42:00] <CalogeroDiSalvo> little tiny things when you spoke when not supposed to or not using sir or master as a term

[10:42:14] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> ....

[10:42:20] <CalogeroDiSalvo> but people are strange some times

[10:42:22] <CalogeroDiSalvo> not me

[10:42:24] <CalogeroDiSalvo> but others

[10:42:28] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> Sure...

[10:42:40] <CalogeroDiSalvo> the wifes strange

[10:42:40] <Old_Creepy_Uncle> We all know you keep a stash of butt plugs under that bed of yours

[10:42:47] <CalogeroDiSalvo> inflatable

[10:42:56] <CalogeroDiSalvo> get that gape

[01:51:02] <RickJames> Becoming Made is more then that. You have a voice and an opinion. Your taken from a place where you were a friend ofnthenfamoly tona.

And that's without a drink believe it or not..

[21:19:42] <Memento_Mori> how do I pm on this thing?

[21:20:20] <Richard_Palmieri> you have to do a glitch

[21:20:25] <Hunter> Na also if u can use your lucky name

[21:20:27] <Camulus> there was never a horse that couldnt be rode......and never a man that couldnt be throwed

[21:22:09] <Memento_Mori> lucky name should have nothing to do with computer code

[21:22:43] <-Prae> What the hell is a lucky name

[21:22:51] <-Prae> I had a dog named Lucky

[21:23:32] <Richard_Palmieri> bless the computer with holy water as well

[21:23:52] <-Prae> especially the motherboard and hard drive

[01:32:43] <Titan> Chicken you are Jedi you are not 

[02:28:01] <Kangeroo> y u jeeo ny awake like this Prae?! 

[15:28:28] <Kangeroo> Anus died?

[15:28:32] <Kangeroo> Man, That's just shitty..

[15:29:57] <Big_Al> Someone

rectum