Aurora shook her head, "You know... it's um..."  She crossed her arms in front of her, sleeve billowing around her arms.  "It's not important."  She began walking towards the bedroom door, the well-defined muscles of a dancer's legs visible in the extreme beneath the hem of the shirt.

"I believe the fridge is out here somewhere?  You did mention ice cream and since my mother is likely to beat you into a coma tomorrow for hanging up on her... we'd best get to enjoy it and our time together while we can."

She walked into the kitchen and began opening cupboards.

"Which one has the bowls?"

Billy was doing everything he could possibly do to not stare any more. It wasn't fair. She was in his shirt and every time she moved to open one of the cabinets he could have sworn he caught a glimpse of that tattoo again. And so he mustered up the utmost resolve and ripped his eyes away from the only thing in his kitchen he wanted to look at and instead made his way to the ice box.

"Bowls are to the right of the sink."

He pulled the ice cream out of the icebox and grabbed a couple of spoons from the drawer nearby.

"Course, if you really want to be bold, we could just eat it right out of the carton. Since I'm gonna be in a coma anyway, might as well leave fewer dishes for Integra to clean up later."

Aurora smirked at him and closed the cupboard with the bowls.  

"I like the way you think."  She said walking over to Billy.  She took the spoons from his hand and put one back into the drawer. 

"I think we only really need one spoon.  Do you have a heavy quilt in this place?  Maybe a radio we can turn on real low?  If so, I got this image in my head of us under a blanket, feeding each other ice cream and talking while we listen to the radio shows."

She sauntered closer to Billy, holding the spoon upright as if she meant to pop it into her mouth.  

"I'll tell you about how I nearly kicked Integra's ass today before those jerks came by and made me realize how amazing she really is... and you can tell me all about how much you love me in blue.  And maybe, if you play your cards, I'll let you look at some of my other tattoos before you pass out on me again."

She giggled, remembering how he fell asleep the last time they were in bed together.  Tonight, she wasn't going to let that happen.

Billy grinned.

"Yeah, it's in the living room."

Billy grabbed an extra blanket from the hallway closet and set it on the couch. He made his way around the coffee table as he heard Aurora snuggling in. He flipped it on and soon the soft crooning was echoing through the house.

Billy loved the radio. It was normally him by himself in his chair, shirt half unbuttoned and glass of whiskey in hand listening for hours on end. One glass is all he allowed himself whenever he was alone.

He turned toward the liquor cabinet then and pulled out the bottle of Frangellico hazelnut liqueurs. He popped the cork and settled in under the blanket.

"Hey Roar, gimme the spoon, close your eyes and open your mouth."

She gave him a look, but did as he instructed quietly. He scooped up a spoonful of ice cream then and tilted her head back ever so slightly so he could pour the liqueur into her mouth over the ice cream. Just a half a shot worth because he knew the stuff was strong. With a little bit of ice cream though, the stuff was deadly delicious.

"Well? How do you like it?" He asked with a whisper.

Aurora's eyes popped open as she tasted the combination of flavors on her tongue.  This was something new and unexpected.  The taste of fudge and vanilla ice cream was delightful on its own but the sweet burn of alcohol ... hazelnut?  Oh, it was pure heaven!

"Where in the hell did you get the idea for something as amazing as that!  It's better than just about anything I've ever had and ... I've had some pretty incredible stuff before.  I mean... wow!  That could very well be my new favorite taste in all the world!"

She opened her mouth like a baby bird, hoping for another little bit.

As she got the second taste she melted down into his arms with a happy sigh.

"THIS."  She said softly.  "This is the thing I kept thinking about all day.  Well, in my thoughts there was a fireplace but that can be something for the future."  

She smiled and took the spoon.

"Your turn."

She scooped up a bit of ice cream.

"I'm scared to talk about anything serious for fear of screwing this up.  Maybe I should just feed you ice cream, talk about anything other than important shit, and kiss you until our lips are so sore we can't stand it anymore... or I fall asleep, whichever comes first."

She gave him a quick shot of the liqueur.  When a bit spilled out onto the edge of his lip she quickly rose up beside him and kissed it away.

"We do it this way and I'll be drunk on your kisses inside an hour... I'll warn you though.  Don't let my size fool you.  The Luciano bloodline has a very high tolerance for alcohol despite our size."

Billy smiled as he let the ice cream melt in his mouth and run down his throat. It really was one of the best ideas he had ever heard of, but he wasn't about to tell Aurora that he found it in his dad's journal. He could take this one right? Just one.

"We can talk about whatever you want Roar. Serious or not."

He took the spoon and gave her some more ice cream, foregoing the liqueur this time. Not too much too fast.

"We can talk about how pretty you look, or how big and manly I am. We can talk about what you want for breakfast, or how fast you think we should make our way to Philly." 

He handed back the spoon and kissed the side of her mouth where a bit of ice cream had melted.

"We can talk about how big and bright the moon is, or we can close the curtains and enjoy the darkness. Whatever you want to do, I'm your big dumb Billy tonight, and you are my Angel."

The word angel, met with thoughts of the fire and how close she'd come to being burned.  It hit her close to home, too close.  She could have died today.  She might have died like Uncle Will on the pier, if not from flames than from smoke... if not from bullets than ... Christ anything at any moment.  

She had a million things to say.  A million things that might lead to a thousand ways of hurting him or making him see her in some poor light.  But she knew there was one way to communicate with him that he couldn't possibly misunderstand.  It was as honest as she could make herself be and, after staring the grim reaper in the eyes today, she didn't ever want to be that vulnerable again.  That weak.  She'd always faced the possibility of death without fear or regret... but not today.  Today she had an ocean of regrets and they all had Billy's name emblazoned upon them.  

Aurora stabbed the spoon into the ice cream and took the carton out of Billy's grip, haphazardly tossing it onto the coffee table.  Turning her body towards him she took up the quilt and threw it over her shoulders like a cape and climbed atop him - straddling his lap, and kissed him more deeply and passionately than she could remember kissing anyone in all her life.  She wrapped her arms and thusly the blanket about them both as she embraced him knowing how absolutely inappropriate this was but not caring - the word 'Angel' echoed in her mind.  

Billy wasn't dumb.  THIS was dumb.  She was dumb for doing it, but she couldn't make herself care she just kissed him and held him and spoke between moments when their lips parted to draw in breath for the purpose of living.

"We almost died."  

The words came out in rushed gasps of breath.

"I thought..."

"What if..."

"I never..."

Her hands went into his hair and there was a sort of desperation to her pawing upon him.  And then she admitted something to Billy she had NEVER said to anyone in the whole of her entire life... not once so far as she could recall.

"I was..."

The kiss this time was longer than the others as if she was drinking courage from within him.

"... so scared."

Fear and failure.  The two Fs.  She hated admitting to them and today, in so many ways, was all about both.

And then she was on top of him.

It was sudden and not entirely unexpected. It was, after all, what Billy had fully intended. And yet.

'scared'

Billy put one had around Aurora's waist and lifted the other up to touch the back of her head. He squeezed her into him then and guided her head down on his shoulder.

"Hey. Shhh, it's ok. I'm still here. You're still here. It's gonna be ok."

He knew what he was telling her. He knew he wasn't telling her that she would be fine. She knew that. She had made it out alive, and her parents were waiting for her to come home. No. What he was telling her was that it wasn't her fault. How deeply he knew that he couldn't tell her in this moment, but he knew for sure it wasn't on her.

"Roar, it's alright to be sad, and scared. I'm not scared often, but I was that night at the party. I get a little scared every time I see a truck on the road. I get a little scared when I know I drank too much and there are people around me that I love." 

He could feel her breathing into his shoulder. His voice dropped to a whisper.

"I don't want you to be scared anymore. I'm here now, and I'm gonna keep you safe, I promise. Nobody can hurt you if you're with me. You're too damned good at what you do anyway. You just got caught off guard today, that's all. Sometimes we get caught off guard."

As he spoke flashes of his own life moved before him in his mind.

"Sometimes it's people we love."

A pair of coal-black guns. An empty bottle and a woman's nails scraping across a young man's face.

"Sometimes it's the people we hate."

A large man standing over another one in an alley somewhere.

"Sometimes it's our own fault even."

A man with an unhealed scar across his face driving a truck into a motorcycle in the middle of the night.

"We just gotta make sure it doesn't happen again. Gotta make sure the guys who did it pay."

He refused to cry with her tonight. She needed him to be strong. He was going to be strong tonight. He was going to be everything she needed tonight. No matter what that meant for him.

Aurora had flung herself with wild abandon into her passion, and Billy had not reacted as she thought he would.  At first, she was stiff as he adjusted her embrace to be a thing of comfort rather than lust.  It was disappointing in a fashion and, while his words were compassionate at first, she was hurt.  Did he not feel like she felt? 

It was so clear a moment ago and then the energy from him abruptly changed.  Had she stupidly read everything wrong again?  Did he not understand what she was saying?  She'd almost died!  She almost died and she'd never been with a man and the man she wanted to be with was HIM!  It was hard not to feel rejected. 

As she listened to his words, trying to understand, her muscles began to relax.  She could hear the tenderness in his tone.  While it wasn't the fierce desire she had thought that he'd wrap her up in, giving over to shared carnal urges, there was something else there... something she hadn't thought to look for and it felt, in a word, good.  

She listened to the sound of his heartbeat, the sound of her breath, and the soft music playing on the radio. 

"I have three."  She said softly, pausing so that the words of the crooner could be heard for a moment between her thoughts.

It only happens when I dance with you...

"Most people have one.  A nice dress they wear to funerals, but I've always had three."

That trip to heaven 'till the dance is through... 

"I think, if I'm honest, I've been to more funerals and wakes than I've been to school functions and birthday parties combined."

With no one else do the heavens seem quite so near... 

"Death is... a friend in your worst hour.  A guy as real as you and me.  I know how stupid it sounds, but I've seen him all my life."

Why does it happen dear, only with you? 

"He's not the one who hurts people.  He comes to take us away from hurt."

Two cheeks together can be so divine, 

"He stops the old man's heart attack or a sick child's pain from becoming eternal torment."

But only when those cheeks are yours and mine.

"I'm not afraid of dying."

I've danced with dozens of others the whole night through...

"I'm afraid to fail."  She let the word linger in the air as if it were a curse word.  Something dirty and terrible she didn't want to put other better words near.

But the thrill that comes with spring, when anything could happen, 

"Failure leads to horrible pain. Death isn't always there to save you from it."

That only happens with you. 

"The dead don't feel pain.  The living do."

She swallowed a lump forming in her throat as the commercials on the radio began.

"I used to have nightmares of the night that Race Street Pier burned.  For years... I dreamed of the place I played as a girl burning to ashes and falling into the sea."  

The dim light in the room looked fuzzy and golden through her unshed tears.  It made the world feel as though it had a dream light quality.  The words came out of her mouth easier now as the heady buzzing of alcohol began to settle in, that warmth that spread to her limbs and slowing of her thoughts which sometimes simply raced on too fast to be explained.

"You know... when we put Uncle Will's coffin in the ground, it was just full of his things.  He wasn't even there.  At least with Grandpa Jack we had his body.  But not Uncle Will."

She let out a shuddering breath but did not sob.

"I used to wake up screaming, thinking about him burning alive.  My dad had to eventually tell me how he was shot, so I'd stop being afraid of him burning up forever.  And today... when I saw the fire devouring everything in my apartment and threatening to trap Integra and I... it all came back as real as it was when I was a kid.  And I didn't want today to be the day I failed.  I didn't want to die like that and I was sure we might..."

A tear ran down her cheek as she closed her eyes tightly and she nuzzled his neck.

"I love you, Billy."  She whispered. 

Billy could do nothing but hold his love. That's all that they were in the moment. Together in love. Sometimes it meant passion and fire and damn the rest of the world. Other times? Times like tonight? It meant he was gonna be her walls and her castle to hide in. He did his best to overtake her entire person with his gargantuan frame. It didn't feel like enough.

"I love you too Aurora."

It was all they needed to say to one another in that moment. All they needed to hear.

There were times when talking and yelling and laughing and crying were filling the air. There would be times, at least in Billy's mind, when the pitter patter of little feet would be heard running down the hall. There would be times when the sound of sizzling bacon would be heard and the touch of a light kiss on his back would be felt because that's all that Aurora would be able to reach of him while he was cooking. And there would be times in silence.

Billy did not look forward to the silence.

"Roar. I'm sorry that I cut you off. I just..."

How in the hell was he supposed to explain any of what he felt?

"I want you to come to me, like you did tonight, but not for an escape, not like what we were about to do. God help me I want to so badly. You're gorgeous and any man would be lucky to have you in his bed, but I don't want to be an escape from the things that happen in your life. I want to be a part of them. I'm here to be anything you want me to be so long as I get to share life with you and not pull you away from it. Between the two of us, I don't think there's a thing in this world that would be able to stop us if we wanted to. And that includes your parents by the way."

He smiled a little and then leaning her backward slightly, he kissed her. With his free hand he wrapped her leg around his waist and he felt the other move to grip his other side. He lowered her onto the couch slowly and followed with his own body, making sure never to put his weight on her, and kissing her, her chin, her neck, the whole way down.

"I will be your everything if you'll let me, and you will be mine."

He brushed her hair out of her face then and kissed each of her eyes.

"Unless you don't want that?"

She looked up at him.

"Oh Billy... I wasn't trying to use this as an escape."  She reached up with her hands and brushed his cheeks with her fingertips.

"I told you all of that so you would understand... I do want this, I want to share all of me with you.  I just don't want to face Death again with any regrets."

She sat up and captured his lips for a second and added, "I would have regretted dying just a few feet away from a bed I shared with you, never having said the words."

She smiled as she laid back down.

"I tried to tell you what I felt that night but, you fell asleep while I was talking.  I didn't know if you heard any of it."

She shrugged. 

"The next morning didn't feel right with you rushing to go home so, I didn't say it.  I told myself there would be time enough for it later and ... well, there nearly wasn't."

She continued to trace the lines of his face, neck and even the muscles of his arms, "I do want this just as badly as you do, maybe more so if that's possible."  

She smirked. 

"But... I don't our first time to be about my fear of a life half lived.  You deserve someone who is here, fully at the moment with you and I'll admit, some of my thoughts are going to pretty dark places.  I mean... I want to do this.  I know I wouldn't regret it.  I can scarcely think of a more perfect moment ... but, this isn't how it should be for you.  I want to give as good as I get and tonight this feels... one-sided.  You, taking care of me."

She shook her head.

"When we do make love, cause I swear it will happen, I'm going to have my head fully in the game.  I'm going to make you the happiest man in all the world Billy.  It will be worth the wait.  And we'll both know it happened on our terms, not because some asshole did something to us or ... made us afraid that tomorrow might not come.  I don't want to give that sort of power over my life to Durden."

She kissed him again, this time more chastely.  

"Forgive me for focusing too much on my own selfish desires, and not enough on you?"

Billy's eyes went wide and he nodded listening quietly but intently as she spoke. And then she asked him a question.

"Roar. I uh... I didn't think that was gonna happen tonight."

He could feel his face go flush as he sat back on the couch, separating the two of them for the first time since the ice cream was abandoned.

"I just meant that you and me were gonna be there for each other no matter what. If I wanted to uh... well... yeah if that was gonna happen, tonight is just a bad night. Too much crap happened."

He gave a half-hearted smile then.

"You are probably gonna hate me for that, or think I'm some kind of funny for not wanting it tonight after everything that this couch has seen, but..."

He shrugged and spread his hands.

"There's a good time and place for that, and then there's a good time and place to just be with each other and be held by one another. I think tonight is one of those second things, not so much the first."

He felt the need to severely backpedal then.

"Not that I don't want it at all. I mean, just look at you, and I already know what you can do with your body. You're a hell of a dancer, so you gotta be real good at other stuff. I don't know I can keep up with you, but I'm gonna try when it happens. I just uh. So. You want more ice cream?"

He was at a complete loss and didn't know what else to do. Ice cream was the only option really. Either that or he was sleeping on the couch tonight.

Aurora's smile faded as Billy backed away faster and further from her than she had anticipated.  She had just told him that she didn't want to go all the way tonight, right?  Had he not heard it?  Had she been unclear?  Yes, she'd started out wanting to... but she'd realized that maybe it wasn't right to do that with her head not fully at the moment.

Oh God, I did it again... he must think I'm a complete floozy!  

"Yeah,"  She said quickly pulling herself up onto the opposite side of the couch.  She suddenly felt very exposed in his shirt, even as he tried to back peddle he'd made very clear she's made him wildly uncomfortable and she felt a complete fool.

"You what... I've had enough ice cream and today has been a stupidly long day."  she sighed standing up.

"We'll talk more in the morning... over that breakfast, you said you'd make.  Right?"  She forced a smile but it didn't touch her eyes.

"I just need some sleep now.  So... where am I going?"

Shit. She really did want to make love. He had fumbled it all. it was clear now that she just wanted him to take charge and do what they both wanted. Instead, he backed away like a moron!

He sighed. It was probably for the best. Love was a weird thing. He wanted every bit of her, but love making? Now? He could scream with how frustrated and angry he was about all of this, so he took a deep breath instead.

"My room, is back there, you take my bed. I'll be up for a while anyway, I'm not tired and I'm gonna take care of some business while I've still got the energy in me."

He tried to give her a smile himself, but it wavered. Instead he just walked her back to his room.

"Do you think you need anything? I can get you a glass of water, or some extra blankets if you want."

Never in his entire time of being anywhere near Aurora did he want to crawl into a hole so badly. But he had to be a good host. If nothing else, he was a good host.

"I don't need water or extra blankets."  She said, picking up her weapons from the chair and moving them to Billy's nightstand where she could get to them quickly if she needed.

What I need is to know how to stop making an ass of myself.

She then walked back over to him and gave him a very innocent kiss, barely allowing her hands to rest on his arm as she did so, trying to respect his space.  It wasn't what she wanted, but after the day she'd had, she didn't want to push her luck any further.

"Good night."

She started to walk back to the bed and she stopped and sighed in frustration.

"Billy.... wait!"  She called out to him.  

"I won't sleep if I don't say it."  She walked towards the doorway where he was still standing.

"I'm sorry.  I don't even know what I did out there.  I just know I messed up.  I threw myself at you like a common tramp, but I nearly died today.  After reading your napkin when you left me last, I felt like maybe you were disappointed that we didn't make love.  I told myself that the next time we were together, I'd have more courage and show you that I wanted it as much as you did & that I wasn't scared of taking that step with you.  And then today happens and ... I nearly died!  I realized that I hadn't even told you how I felt - let alone the rest of my plans so, the first thing I wanted to do was run to you.  I wanted to make everything right.  I wanted to share this thing with you.  I knew if we did it would be amazing and you'd have this moment this thing to treasure if I ever ..."

She shook her head trying not to get emotional.

"It would always be just you and me.  No matter which of us goes first.  We'd always have that and no one could take it from us."

She blinked, still speaking in a rush.

"But I don't WANT to rush us.  I tried to tell you on the couch.  Maybe that's why you're upset?  Maybe it's because I did a 180 and I'm a fickle foolish dame who runs hot one minute and cold the next?  It's enough to give any guy whiplash!  I know!  And I feel so stupid..."

She was flustered.

"I thought you wanted me to be aggressive, you know, so you'd know it was okay.  I thought that's what you meant by the message on the napkin.  Then I saw you on the couch, pulling away and acting like I'd crossed a line I didn't even know was there and I suddenly feel as though I've made myself out to be a complete whore!" 

She took half-a-step back the words rushing out of her mouth giving no room for him to interject as she bulldozed over any attempt he thought to make.

"Integra told me to just be clear with you about what I want and think.  That everything between us will be okay if I do that ... but I keep messing it all up and I'm sorry!"

She was almost out of breath, rambling on like her mother in one of her fits.

"So I'm gonna try this again.  Yes, I love you.  Yes, I intend to make love with you provided you ever really want it.  No, I don't want it to happen tonight for all the reasons you and I BOTH said.  Yes, I'd like very much for you to not be upset with me.  It's my understanding, based on your reactions that you love me and are attracted to me but definitely aren't comfortable with me being ... that way... in the future.  You clearly need to set the pace of this relationship.  While I'm used to women calling all the shots in every relationship I've ever seen in my whole life... if we're going to work, then I need to let you steer.  I mean... I like it when you're calling the shots, but I guess I just didn't realize how often I default to taking charge.  I'm sorry!"

She made a noise that was almost a small roar of frustration.

"I promise you this won't happen again.  No more skimpy outfits or jokes about showing you my tattoos.  No more wearing your shirts or sleeping in the same bed.  No more climbing on your lap or kissing you like we're lovers.  I... I will respect your boundaries.  I will let you set the pace of this thing we have together and if I'm wrong on anything I've said... well... well... you damn well better tell me right now, Billy Mastersimone, or we're both going to feel like idiots tomorrow when this turns into our new normal!"

Breathless, breasts heaving beneath his blue button-down shirt, Aurora's amber eyes burned holed into him.  Her knees were locked, her fists clenched at her side.  She waited for his response with a flood of emotions racing through her mind and body.

Billy listened with ever increasing frustration at the love of his life ranting about how she was wrong and they were making mistakes and they both understood and...

It was too much. She finished and looked at him. He could tell she had finished because she was staring at him quite clearly waiting for a response.

He lowered himself and charged at her picking her up with both of his hands and literally tossing her into the air. He was very thankful for the fact that he lived on the top floor and had cathedral height ceilings. The extra room made all the difference in the world in that moment.

He roared at her as she flew through the air and back into his arms as he caught her. He knew she was completely unaware of what was going on, the surprise on her face as she had her feet taken out from under her and had nothing to hold on to said it all. And he roared. All of his pent up frustration and anger and sadness at once in a cacophonous sound escaping his body.

"Aurora Byrne. Don't you dare take away my fun in this relationship."

He was calmly explaining as he out her down.

"I love everything about tonight, it was just not a great day for it is all. I want you to be frisky with me, especially in public where I can't do anything about it. It's fun, on top of reminding me that we want each other."

He reached out and lifted the hem of his shirt just high enough to poke at her tattoo.

"I want to catch glimpses of this in the moonlight when I wake up in the middle of the night cause you tossed the blankets off of you and I need to tuck you back in."

He picked her up by her backside then and planted her onto the bed.

"I really enjoyed having your legs wrapped around me, and you sitting on top of me face to face. I am a bit of a coward when it comes to this stuff and if you don't take charge nobody will, so if you really want it, you're gonna have to make it very very obvious when it's time.; On the downside, you're also probably going to have to be the one to put the walls up when it's time to stop."

He reached down and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt that she was wearing.

"Because unless you tell me to. I very likely won't stop."

He unbuttoned his own shirt and slipped it off.

"Or, we can do the dance together. One leading, and one following. I don't always have to be in chrage, but we should both know where it's going, and stay apace of one another."

He took off his shoes and his socks then.

"For me, this is easy. I want you, you want me, simple. We will figure out when, where, and how, but for the love of everything that is holy I swear to you if you take away all of the things that both of us do for fun in this relationship because you're scared that I'm not ready, things are gonna go south in a bad way."

He took off his socks, and undid his belt then.

"We don't get each other yet, that's all. We're still at the beginning, but dammit Roar tonight we are going to go to bed together, and whatever else happened in the living room, screw it. I mean, not all of it, I liked most of it, just that last minute really."

He then flipped the light switch and slowly closed the door, leaving it open just a crack so that if any of his bodyguards yelled out in the night he could still hear them.

"So I say we've had a long enough night, and you get to make the next move."

He unbuttoned his trousers and made his way to his closet.

"Am I putting on pajamas, or should I sleep in my boxer shorts tonight? You think it's cold enough for pajamas?"

Aurora scrambled like a cat searching for the ground after being thrown into the air.  Her facial expression was pure panic and confusion as he talking and eventually began to strip.  Her mouth hung open.  She was as lost for footing as she had been in the air.  It was as if she was still hanging there in the sky, no ground beneath her as she struggled to make sense of what just happened.  Wasn't he upset?  Didn't he pull away and want to stop?  WHY WERE THE CLOTHES COMING OFF!!!!  

"This is NOTHING like dancing!"  She stood back up and shouted at him trying to make heads or tales of what was going on.

"At least with dancing I know what to expect this is ... this is... this is...!"  She floundered. 

"It's more like fighting.  Boxing!  Weave and dodge and hope to god yours lands well and that the next one doesn't catch you on the fucking chin!"

She stepped away from the bed.

"No one is leading this!"  She gestured emphatically with her hands. 

"Neither of us have a fucking plan!  We just... keep... throwing lust and words and ... and stuff at each other hoping something works!  How can two grown adults be so fucking clueless when it comes to this!"

She threw up her hands.

"It's NOT supposed to be this hard.  It's ... it's just supposed to ... WORK!"  

She down on the edge of the bed, her shoulder slumping, her frustration and confusing fading into the sound of defeat.  "They make it seem so easy, but it's not.  It's easier to snipe a guy at 100 meters or wrestle someone for a knife... Christ I don't know what you're trying to tell me here with the slamming on the breaks and then... with the buttons... and the... belt.  And I am NOT a ball to be tossed!"

She buried her face into her hands, trying to calm down, making a loud groan.  She knew she was fucking up at this point.  Billy was going to walk out that door pissed off and hurt and she was going to spend the damn night alone.  But she was so tired and this day was just so damn long!  All she wanted now was some sleep and to pretend this fucked up second attempt at seduction NEVER happened.

God but the ice cream was good... why did I open my big mouth...

Billy laughed as he grabbed a pair of pajamas and slipped into them bottoms only, leaving his chest bare.

"When you get like that, you are. If you get frustrated to the point where I can't get in a word edge wise, you're going to become a ball, every single time. I promise. You keep that Luciano temper in check, or I'm gonna show you the Mastrosimone bullheadedness I've become famous for."

He smiled a broad smile as he thought for a moment. He sat on the bed opposite her.

"You're right though I think. It's less like a dance and more like a fight. We should fix that. It doesn't have to be a fight, it can be a dance you know. If we both just trusted each other a bit more, were a bit more open, and just let things happen I think it could be better."

He slid his way under the blankets.

"Today was probably just a really bad day to try that sort of thing.

He patted one of his large hands at the bed beside him.

"We're both tired, will you come lay down with me? I would really like to just lay behind you and let you cuddle back into me while I wrap my arms around you. We can both fall asleep that way and tomorrow I'll get up without waking you and make you breakfast like I promisee before we gotta deal with your mom ripping me a new one. Maybe we can just ask you parents how it's so easy for them?"

His face dropped from the smile at the look he received.

"No then. No talking to your parents about this. Only if you come let me hold you though."

Aurora let the dirty look fade from her face and turned her body, lifting up the blanket.

"So... what you're saying is,"  She slid her body across the sheets towards him until her bottom matched up with his hips squarely.  She was sure his chin could easily rest on her head which was something of a funny image in her mind.

"We're learning to dance?"  She arched an eyebrow, though he could not see it in the dark room.

"I guess that's a pretty easy metaphor to understand.  It took me years to be any good at that... but what if we're trying to force it?  What if all these stupid inabilities to even sort out something as basic as when we should... you know... what if that's like a sign that we've got it all wrong?  What if I'm just desperately attracted to you and we aren't meant to be?  Doesn't thoughts like that scare you?  It would be different if we were just messing around... but I don't think we are."

She yawned.

"Maybe tonight was the wrong night for everything.  And maybe you were right, just a little, I was trying to escape my own head for a bit.  The thought of making love to you until I could keep my eyes open was a lot better than the thought of staring up at that ceiling trying not to think about what could have happened today... let alone what did..."

For the first time in hours, she let herself think about Tiny and Tim.  She knew as it got quiet in the bedroom she'd do it.  She hated that she was right.

"Damn..."  she whispered.  "I just realized ... there's no one to call.  The guys.  My guys... they didn't have anyone but me.  I was it.  I guess mom will probably make arrangements for them if..."  

She stopped herself.  She didn't want to talk about this.  She knew she didn't want to think about it.

"I should try to sleep."  She whispered, snuggling against him, enjoying the warmth of him and the softness of his bed.  She wanted to sleep, but her eyes fixated on shadows in the darkness of this strange room and she wondered if she would be able to sleep at all.

Billy slipped his arms around Aurora letting his hands rest, one on her stomach and one palm up on the bed away from her.

"Stuff like that doesn't scare me. I figured out a long time ago that stuff you don't think about really can't scare you. So I just don't think about what if we aren't mean to be together, or what if you leave me tomorrow, or what if I die tomorrow, cause all of that just sucks. Instead I think about breakfast, and how much toast you're gonna eat cause I know you didn't have dinner tonight so you're gonna be hungry. That makes me smile. Thinking that you're gonna eat almost as much as me in the morning."

He let himself smile then.

"I think about maybe what it would be like to lay my hand on your chest so I can feel your heartbeat like you do with me. I think about that face you made while you were flopping around in the air a minute ago. I think about how easy it is to just look at you and not pay any attention to the words that you're saying. And then I think about how mad you're gonna get when I do that."

He kissed the top of her head.

"I don't care about much else really. Cause the other crap? if it doesn't happen then why was I bothering to worry about it in the first place. And if it does happen? Well then that sucks, but I'll deal with it."

He yawned then. He normally wasn't this tired, but something about being in bed always made him sleepy. It really helped being in bed with Aurora though. For some reason he felt like he wasn't allowed to do anything else but sleep now. His body agreed.

"I'm not saying we are meant to be together, or we're not. I don't know. But I know I want to be with you, and it's hard to get me to break away from something that I want. And you? You're a Luciano. From what I hear, you bastards come straight back from the dead to get the things you want. So if you want to be with me, then not even death is gonna stop you. Makes me a real lucky guy."