| May 02 - 13:02:17 |
|
| Post Reply | Post new topic | Page: 1 2 3 [ > - >>> ] |
| Mafia Golf - The Avard Invitational $10,000,000 prize) | Started by: AvardT on Aug 20, '19 09:09 |
|
As you have probably heard, Mafia Golf is fucking amazing. Bored? Play some Mafia Golf. Not bored? Play some Mafia Golf. It is great in the sun, it is great in the rain and it is open to all ages. It probably couldn't be better, just check out some of the things people have been saying about it:
Ringing endorsements all round and now you can join in the fun too! My course designers constructed this little beauty a few months ago and I've been offering free memberships to play there ever since. I'm pleased to report that we've had over 25 rounds played at the course, admittedly most of them by TeddySanders, but the greens are now properly bedded in and the pins properly positions. As a result, I've decided the time is right to host my first tournament and find ourselves an inaugural champion. Before I explain any further, if you aren't sure about the rules of Mafia Golf, you can check them out in full HERE. Avard points to a poster with a full explanation of how Mafia Golf Works. Noticing a few people starting to lose interest, he quickly continues. However, if you can't be bothered to read all that, you basically accept 9 tops dice bets against me. The score you roll relates to the scorecard of each hole. The higher you roll, the better you do. Simple, right? The retreating crowd are placated with this simplistic explanation and Avard breathes a sigh of relief. Now, the tournament will be slightly different to a normal round on the course and I've summarised how things will unfold below:
Assuming that all makes sense, I'm in a position to offer a rather juicy $10,000,000 prize to the winner, in addition to being crowned the champion in these very streets, which is doubtlessly worth its weight in gold. In addition, the best and worst individual 9 hole rounds will earn $1,000,000 a piece. Any holes-in-one (1000 roll) will get $500,000 and any triple bogeys (1-9 roll) will get their failure proclaimed high and low so we can all laugh at them. Finally, if there are any wealthy patrons out there would like to sponsor this event, I will gladly offer additional prizes to keep things spicy. I think that covers it all, if you want to play, speak up here and we'll get you signed up! |
|
| Report Post | Tips: 26 / Total: $1,580,000 Tip |
|
Aomame carried her golf bag in, she had only managed to acquire a 6 iron and a putter believing the whole thing to be a glorified game of pitch’n’putt. She never understood why the people whose clubs she carried had so many clubs…who had ever really used their 3 iron, what a waste of time! Put my name down for your golf thing my good man. Are you naming the worst round prize the Marlowe Hacker’s Award? |
|
| Reply by: Aomame at Aug 20, '19 09:19 | |
| Report Post | Tips: 2 / Total: $40,000 Tip |
|
Marlowe came in to the clubhouse dragging not only his own bag of rusty clubs but Taradiddle_ 's shiny new set as well. He planned to both compete and caddie at the event, in the hope that he could learn some tricks from Taradiddle_ to use in his own game. No matter the outcome, it was an honour to work for such an incredible talent. Two entries please Mr. AvardT, although I should say that I strongly object being labelled a hacker, Aomame ! I put all that turf back in place after my last round and spent plenty of time stamping it down! In any case I think the more important trophy to name is the winner's. Might I humbly suggest that it is named after the ever supportive patron of this course, Eve. Perhaps the " Eve Loves Golf Trophy" or something in that vein. I just feel we should recognize all her contributions to the great sport of mafia golf. |
|
| Reply by: Marlowe at Aug 20, '19 10:14 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
Thank you to Marlowe, Aomame, Taradiddle_ and McSteamy who have all promptly paid their entry fees. With the fall of Seattle we have all been busy, but now seems like the perfect time to to kick this into gear and get some signups complete. Who would like to win themselves $10,000,000 and the coveted E.L.G Trophy? |
|
| Reply by: AvardT at Aug 23, '19 11:57 | |
| Report Post | Tips: 2 / Total: $40,000 Tip |
|
As long as I can play evenings or floodlit courses I’m happy enough to throw my hat Ito the areana. It’s not as much as bloody fighting, but it’s easily the next best activity you can do with a bag of sticks and some balls. William lights a Morely, drops the 250k in Quarters on AvardT’s lap and wanders off to see what trouble he can find or create or participate in. |
|
| Reply by: William_the_Bloody at Aug 23, '19 12:23 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
may I play please? |
|
| Reply by: Silence at Aug 23, '19 13:48 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
Reggie walks in and could see Avardt was busy counting qurarters. "damn, i wonder how long would that take. Hmmf. money is money." Seeing Silence at the registration table. Reggie makes his way over to stand in line behind silence for the sign up. After Silence fills his paperwork out Reggie steps up with a bit of pep in his step. "hey so I have a few questions. can i smoke my weed while golfing. and i need a good place to by some clubs, but other than that sign me up." Reggie signs the paper work then starts patting around his pockets looking for money (pat pat) " hmmmph. I knew i ha. wait a minute. let me run out to the car really quick. Be right back." Reggie makes his way out to his vehicle and grab a sack he had under the front seat next to his heater, and walks back in. "haha. woooooooo. Thought i lost some change. Here ya go. line me up brother" he passes Avardt the sack of money and rubs his hands together with a smile . (like he was lucky tsk!) 'catch me out in the streets I will be ready once i get some clubs." Reggie says as he turns and exits the location. "Awakened in da house" |
|
| Reply by: Reggie-Noble at Aug 23, '19 14:07 | |
| Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $20,000 Tip |
|
Fortunately Avard hadn’t taken the coins from William on his lap, as this would have crushed him into mush. Unfortunately shortly after depositing the mountain of quarters, he was split from head to toe by a lightning bolt. Will’s spot is available to his next of kin. We currently have:
Signups will last for another couple of days and then we can get this up and running. Anyone else want $10,000,000? |
|
| Reply by: AvardT at Aug 25, '19 06:48 | |
| Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $20,000 Tip |
|
Just because I haven't been around.. It does not mean that I won't join the competition! Taradiddle_ looked slightly more angry than he usually did. I assumed the big guns; the course-record holders; the reigning champions; the favourites.. I assumed they would be automatically invited, AvardT.. Taradiddle_ knew what to do now. He'd start focussing fully on his swing, instead of working his ass of for Eve. |
|
| Reply by: Taradiddle_ at Aug 26, '19 06:26 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
The door to the clubhouse was kicked open and Dickfingers just about managed to casually step inside with a calm stride before the door swung back and smacked him in the far. He stood there in his hideous green jacket, the self-assigned trophy of his last victory. A blank expression projecting unjustified authority as he surveyed the room. He remained silent allowing the impact of his arrival to sink in. Avard looked up from his registration desk and raised a weary eyebrow. ‘Dickfingers?’ ”Mr T!” AvardT visibly recoiled at being addressed that way. Johnny began a slow and pointlessly theatrical stroll around the room. “As you know, I’d hung up my clubs and retired from the great world of golf. I had to return my focus to training for the great fights I had ahead in the grand tournament. However, due to nothing more than alcoholic indulgence on the part of the organiser, there has been a longer than expected delay in bouts. As such, I thought well, what the hell. What tournament would be complete without the presence of the original course legend?” Avard knew why Johnny was here and had filled out his tournament application as a distraction from Dickfingers self-aggrandising speech. He turned the ledger around and pushed it across the desk for Dickfingers to sign. Johnny was a little put-out at AvardT’s a apparent lack of awe but he leaned forward and added his name to the roster. Standing, he addressed the entirety unimpressed room once more. “Win lose or draw, this competition will be all the richer for the presence of champions. It would have been inconsiderate of me not to attend. I’d like to thank AvardT for arranging it and now, for a short time before my business needs call me away, I’ll be available for conversation at the bar.” He wandered over to the bar and ordered a number of pina coladas. No one followed him. |
|
| Reply by: Johnny_Dickfingers at Aug 26, '19 08:21 | |
| Report Post | Tips: 3 / Total: $60,000 Tip |
|
Avard rolled his eyes whilst waiting patiently for Johnny to finish peacocking around the sign in sheet. He knew it was inevitable that Dickfingers would return to plague him, especially when the opportunity for him to reclaim his lost glory was on offer. He tried not to wince as Johnny penis-signed his name. "That's great, John. Good to have you involved," he said, avoiding taking the pen back that Johnny_Dickfingers was offering to him. "Keep it." "Much obliged, Avard. It is now a champion's pen." Johnny tucked it inside the green jacket he continued to wear and headed towards the bar. "Quite," Avard gave him a smile that didn't reach his eyes hoping it was enough to sate Johnny's ego. It was, he fucked right off. With a bit of peace and quite He studied the list of entrants, thinking a couple more names would probably do it:
He put down the list and gestured to one of his lackeys, who promptly attended to him. You can't beat a good lackey. "Put the word out that this is the last call for participants," Avard said, scribbling away a note to ensure his lackey didn't forget. You can't beat good lackey management either. |
|
| Reply by: AvardT at Aug 26, '19 22:21 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
| Hunter was walking streets as he usually did in the evening upon finding a flyer for a golf tournament. He'd never played golf but why not? After finishing his stroll he sent his payment to the address on the flyer, with a short note included. | |
| Reply by: Hunter_Everett at Aug 26, '19 23:20 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
Lou, hearing all this talk out on the streets about a golf tournament thought to himself, " i played mini golf once im sure i would be awesome at this" Count me in if it isn't too late. |
|
| Reply by: Lou_Quine at Aug 27, '19 01:47 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
I am pleased to report that there have been some further developments in The Avard Invitational and the battle for glamorous E.L.G. Trophy. Firstly, Levey_Posner has kindly offered his sponsorship to the event and chucked in an additional $5,000,000 in prize money AND solid info on the next 3 incursions by TylerDurden. I will accordingly be offering further prizes and will announce these shortly - how exciting! Thank you, Levey. Secondly, Eve's unadulterated love of the game has resulted in her going on a participant recruitment drive and snaffling up quite the field. Accordingly, the list of participants now reads as follows... Avard motions for one of his gremlins to start handing out a list of entrants to anyone interested in reading them. I feel like this is an extremely strong field and we will be commencing with the first rounds shortly. I will be providing updates from the course and shall endeavor to keep everyone abreast of each and every thrilling development. Thank you to all of those who have entered and I look forward to seeing you at the opening hole very soon! |
|
| Reply by: AvardT at Aug 27, '19 19:21 | |
| Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $20,000 Tip |
|
purrrr purrrr, this should be easy ;) |
|
| Reply by: TheCat at Aug 27, '19 19:32 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
I shall play' |
|
| Reply by: LoBo at Aug 27, '19 19:54 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
| Why the hell not:) | |
| Reply by: Anne_Oakely at Aug 27, '19 20:48 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
Totally forgotten about this, hope theres room for a real pro in this event. |
|
| Reply by: LillisMolly at Aug 27, '19 22:46 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
McSteamy was seen outside the golf course that had been built close to eVe's Crew. He had taken a great deal of personal interest in the golf movements in the district. It was one of his favorite things to do on off days. Just go sip some beers and hit golf balls into Lake Michigan. The waves calmed him, the breeze always felt good. And just the scenery was a nice serene getaway. Stretching and practicing his Golf swing, McSteamy stops and takes a puff of his cigar.
That was a nice first round good sir. It was a lot of fun. He takes off his hat and lets the breeze run thru his hair. Takes another puff of his cigar. I certainly hope I make the next round. He goes back to practicing his swing as he awaited the results for the next round. |
|
| Reply by: McSteamy at Aug 28, '19 05:29 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
A final few entries have been submitted and this really is the final lineup now:
The first rounds are now underway and I will begin reporting back on scores as they come in. A few fun Mafia Golf facts for you to all enjoy whilst we wait... Nobody has ever parred the first hole and shot a round under par. Marlowe is the only man to ever get a triple bogey on Trollbait (2). Marlowe's combined rolls of 14 for holes 2 and 3 (scoring +5) is the lowest of any two holes ever. Purge List (4) is statistically the hardest hole on the course. Taradiddle_ scored the first ever hole-in-one on the 5th hole with a perfect 1000 roll. Coco's back to back eagles on 6 and 7 in the 5th ever round is a feat yet to be repeated on these holes in 41 more rounds. Only Johnny_Dickfingers and Aomame have shot eagles at Pole Position (8). Nobody who has parred the last hole has finished their round over par. |
|
| Reply by: AvardT at Aug 28, '19 08:36 | |
| Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $20,000 Tip |
| Post Reply | View All Threads | Page: 1 2 3 [ > - >>> ] |
Minimum $20,000
