Neil sits at the back of the court with a court reporters journal in his hands furiously taking notes and inwardly laughing at the shenanigans of the two bit shyster Lawyer, Kong. Its obvious what Kong's game is here, and he has rail roaded poor Dominic into playing along. Dominic's problem is that he is now playing a high stakes poker game and no one has bothered to inform him of the rules. Neil sighs to himself, Dominic really should have gotten himself an attorney when a Judge who's impartiality is questionable was accepted. Not to mention how desperate Kong was to have him recused from serving as Judge. Unfortunately Neil's Masonic Lodge meeting had prevented him from getting back in time to refute Kong's outlandish claims. Everyone, except Dominic it would seem, knew that Kong had been disbarred by the Superior Circuit court after falsely claiming to represent VIPCreditsGrin when the Advocate of record was clearly CoconutRandy. This had allowed Neil to petition the supreme court on behalf of his client and have the fake case brought before the courts by Kong quashed, and his client NotoriousBIG exonerated. 

Neil hoped beyond hope that Daria would render a fair an impartial judgement, otherwise he may have to talk to Dominc about lodging an appeal. Kong was afterall, as slippery as a Lough Neagh eel, and bribing a judge to see things his way was not above him in any way shape or form. His legal knowledge was less than the IQ of Junior copy-boy of the Coconut Chronicle, CoconutRandy Jnr. (and he was one ugly kid to boot.) but what he did have was a propensity to shout down and bully anyone or anything he didn't agree with until the agreed with him just to get him to shut up. Still, it was early days in the trial, and there's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip.

Kong looks over at the stand, a little surprised to see Neil_Anblomi sitting there in silence, studying him. It was weird to see him in here, as he was usually out in the street looking for half smoked cigarettes on the ground. Maybe he is here to watch a real lawyer at work and to learn something, he thinks to himself. He could certainly need it after the pummeling he received the last time they met in court when he represented NotoriousBIG and was only saved by PhillipMarleau paying his clients debt before the judge could hand down a ruling. Kong shakes his head in silence as looks away from him and over at the esteemed judge Daria.

Your honour, I must protest this outlandish request by Mr. Dominic. Asking a member of my clients legal team to testify is highly irregular and very problematic. Ask ask that you deny his request once and for all and I move to strike his comment regarding MariaReynolds from the record.

The same courier that delivered Daria's application quietly approached the bench, whispering to the judge while simultaneously handing over a cache of documents.  

Darla quickly scanned them before turning to kong.

Counsel, it has come to my attention that a conversation was captured outside of these court chambers involving you and Ms. Reynolds that may be relevant to our proceedings.

Daria produces the stack of papers from her desk.

Please ensure, stenographer, that  are entered into the official court record.

16:26:03 <MariaReynolds[MR]> look at this malarky
16:26:08 <MariaReynolds[MR]> Daria[MR], i need to be heard
16:26:54 <Toby-[MR]> order in the court
16:27:19 <MariaReynolds[MR]> also everyone knows I would never defend VIPCreditsGrin[MR]
16:28:05 <MariaReynolds[MR]> finally, i am starting to get stressed by all the jobs im not doing
21:32:33 <Princess[MR]> oh dang I thought Homer just died
21:33:05 <MariaReynolds[MR]> why?
21:33:15 <kong[MR]> we all know you have nothing to do on the stand MariaReynolds
21:33:30 <MariaReynolds[MR]> i have plenty of pertinent evidence
21:33:37 <MariaReynolds[MR]> PLENTY
21:34:29 <kong[MR]> should have thought of that before you accepted the cushy job as my clerk
21:35:06 <MariaReynolds[MR]> interesting definition of acceptance you have
21:35:19 <MariaReynolds[MR]> i already have two other jobs
21:37:04 <kong[MR]> now you have three it seems
21:37:32 <MariaReynolds[MR]> im really not a very good employee
21:37:39 <MariaReynolds[MR]> the first two involve writing
21:37:48 <MariaReynolds[MR]> Threads / Posts: 0 / 4 (View Activity)
21:37:50 <kong[MR]> I would cut ties with the chronicle If I where you, defending grin way more important
21:37:51 <MariaReynolds[MR]> been a little lax
21:38:13 <MariaReynolds[MR]> omg am i meant to work for the chronicle?
21:39:00 <kong[MR]> good news is with this job all you need to do is sit by my side and wipe some drool from Grins chin once in a while
21:39:08 <kong[MR]> and stay away from the witness stand
21:39:19 <CoconutRandy[MR]> maria, we assumed you had been taking your vacation days
21:39:30 <MariaReynolds[MR]> fuck sake
21:39:45 <MariaReynolds[MR]> daria i have evidence that can blow this case wide open
21:40:36 <MariaReynolds[MR]> what am i meant to be doing at the chronicle, ive forgoten

Counsel, while in normal circumstances I would not care to comment on the conduct of an employer-employee relationship, it appears that Ms. Reynolds herself has questioned your characterization of her employ within your practice.

Additionally, as a matter of legal procedure, I do not need to remind you that statements such as "and stay away from the witness stand" can be construed as witness tampering and intimidation when it pertains to a matter where you are the attorney on record for Defendant. These charges would normally merit their own, separate criminal referral in addition to a conduct review by the state's Bar Association.

These are not referrals I will be making today, but rest assured that additional statements along these lines will jeopardize your case, Counsel.

She sighs before continuing.

To the matter at hand. Both plaintiff and Ms. Reynolds herself have stated that they possess information that is pertinent to our case.  Counsel's request to suppress Plaintiff's discovery is denied, and plaintiff's request to enter MariaReynolds into the witness registry is approved.

Daria turns to MariaReynolds.

Ms. Reynolds, before we proceed, can you please clarify your employment status in kong's practice?

Thank you, your honor. 

Your honor, it is true that I am employed by Mr. Fagotti.  Truth be told I accepted a position in an attempt to gain access to files regarding my civil suit against Jason_Vorhees . Unfortunately, most of the papers that I have been able to read through seem to be love letters from someone named Bearderus to LudariusCanesCousin. 

I have three other jobs.  Avoiding all this work takes up a great deal of my time.  The pressure to fulfill my obligations is overwhelming.  Hell, on the way to court this morning I saw half a cigarette laying mostly in a puddle on the street and appallingly I have to admit that I almost reached for it before I remembered that I am a respectable woman and not a filthy vagrant. Thankfully I came to my senses. Imagine how high my stress levels must have been for me to have even momentarily considered using something so revolting as a means of release.

Anyway, when kong came banging at my door at around 4 am, demanding that I travel with him to court, it seemed a lot easier to just come along and not ask questions.  My commitment to this position with his firm can only be described as tenuous at best.  Had I realized that I would have to be wiping VIPCreditsGrin’s chin all morning, I would have told kong to stuff it.

Jason who moonlighted as a pool boy most days. ( Only to spy on MariaReynolds ) had been called in to Mr Fagotti's office to give his profession opinion on a suit made for VIPCreditsGrin Jason was taken aback when he viewed the monstrosity that had been made for VIPCreditsGrin it was a disaster  hideous even. There was no way that such a monstrosity  as THIS would ever grace the fashion shows Jason as been to in Paris when he had entered his master Piece. 

No this wont do Mr Fagotti this......this horror of a suit is not even fit to be worn by by  His eyes narrowed as he looked at kong his  fake French accent being forgotten A poor person .

Jason looks around in mock outrage

Ok, I am only just discovering this is going on as I have been working very hard for my boss, CoconutRandy. Now that this is coming to my attention for the very first time, I feel that the words of the second most wanted man in America, PhillipMuesli, are the most appropriate; we need to end this 'mindless bullshit'.

When I saw a man as pitiable as Neil_Anblomi putting himself forward as a judge I knew this whole thing would be a farce. Did you know that this man lost $45,000 recently to cutpurses? His presence alone raises serious doubts over the legitimacy of anything that would follow. 

I also have it on good authority that I am adored within this crew and the lies of the trespasser, Viktor, have no merit. And, I have never even met this "kong" individual, if that is his real name (and I'm not convinced that it is), so he certainly doesn't represent me in any legal matters. Judging by his terrible suit, I guess he's probably been a customer of Dominic's before himself and is likely in his employ, trying to extort people for credits over services that haven't been rendered.

It is therefore obvious that I have no case to answer, the suit, as poor as it is, belongs to me if for no other reason than as compensation for how much mischief Dominic, the faux-tailor who doesn't read clear instructions (be they about what someone would want in a suit or where they should send any complaints about a paper), has caused by his continual besmirching of my reasonably good name. 

Regardless of whatever is determined here, I reject this kangaroo court in its entirety, especially now that it let MariaReynolds have her say. MariaReynolds judging suits. The woman has worn the same smoke-ridden outfit for the last ten years and she gives "evidence" here? Don't make me fucking laugh. 

Your Honout, I object. As much as I already knew that this whole trail was a farce from the get go, and advised Mr Dominic of that fact in private correspondance, I object to VIPCreditsGrin's sullying of my good character. Whilst it is true that I did lose 45k to thieves, the thief in question was none other than VIPCreditsGrin. The reasons I did not exact revenge is the sorrow I felt for his mother, who was horribly scarred, both mentally and physically, on the birth of her son. Grin was that ugly that the midwife slapped his mother instead of him, with such ferocity that his mother has suffered irreparable nerve damage causing her face to droop on one side.

I had hoped that he would have given the mother the money to help get her off the street corners, but instead he had squandered his I'll gotten gains on midget porn and 3rd grade coke. On top of this I simply billed NotoriousBIG for my lose as acceptable costs incurred during his defence. 

Now,  with Grin finally coming forward to disavow himself from the Shyster Kong, this trail should be rulled a mistrial, and King should be reported to the Bar for his second case of misrepresentation in as many weeks.

Slightly embarrassed at his outburst, but satisfied that he has gotten his point across, Neil resumes his seat, flashing a smile at the shocked and horrified Kong.

Your honor, has this court lost its sense? Where are the cries for order? 

Daria

Neil_Anblomi, you give parasites a bad name.

MariaReynolds, I'm not going to stand here and listen to your ridiculous diatribe for the very first time any longer. I have more important things to be doing with my day. Your suit is hideous. It reminds me of how Destro looks on the inside and his soul is blacker than NotoriousBIG. Consider that.  

Dominic, I tired of your dogged (and believe me I'm thinking of the most flea-ridden, feral, yappy, rabies-infested wretch of a canine imaginable when I say that) pursuit of me. 

Success! You have transferred 1.00 credits to Dominic.

That is now two credits you've had from me or persons acting as my agent. This matter is concluded. 

Enough!  E-fucking-nough. And someone, clean that mess up!

Daria bangs her gavel as she gestures to the puddle of drool left by VIPCreditsGrin on the Defendant-side desk from his outburst.

The primordial stylings of Ms. Reynolds is not a question for the court to address today - although I will concede that any party bringing that complaint would be likely to prevail. Nor are any questions related to a Neil_Anblomi, who I understand is here simply for Plaintiff's moral support.  

It has come to my attention that due to Defendant's disability, Counsel is, in fact, also the Defendant's legal guardian; your attempts at dismissal of Counsel by the Defendant is denied, as that decision rests solely with Counsel himself.  As your lawyer has entered in to this procedure on your behalf, your attempts at a quick settlement to avoid further damage to your character receive no sympathy from me and is denied. Only when a verdict is reached should the appropriate funds, if any, be released.

As I understand it, @PhilipMarleau is the last remaining witness needed to provide testimony, unless Plaintiff also wishes to summon CoconutRandy.

Plaintiff, additionally,  please clarify the time expense you incurred for the following, divided into two segments:

1) The time spent sourcing the original suit material

2) The time spent by you and your machines to monogram VIPCreditsGrin's name to the suit after you had acquired the materials.

If there is no additional cross examination for these or past witnesses by the parties involved, I will issue my judgment on this matter shortly thereafter.

Having watched the entirety of this show, Phillip finally decided to speak, “Nope, fuck off. Leave me out of this cluster fuck. Good day.”

He promptly stands and leaves, wanting no part of whatever the hell this is.

Kong slaps VIPCreditsGrin on the back of the head to shut him up. It is so sad to witness him like this. He used to be so sharp, so full of insight and wisdom, but now he is reduced to this. A blabbering fool. Not aware of what he is saying and the consequences of his actions. He is lucky to have people that care about him, people like himself who fight for those less fortunate. The world would be a sad place if everyone was like the two bit swindler @Neil_Anblomi. Only out to enrich themself and smoke soggy cigarettes.

Your hour.

Fist let me apologise for my clients outburst. He is as you are well aware not what he used to be. He had an unfortunate incident with a lamp some time back and it have severely diminished his mental state. The constant slaps to the back of his head don't make things much better Im afraid.

I have, as MariaReynolds have already sadid, been appointed as Mr. VIPCreditsGrin's legal guardian. Should the court want Mr. Destro who is also involved in my clients care team can confirm this.

I ask for my clients statement to be struck from the record. I also ask that the payment my client made to the plaintiff should be returned to me. As my client sadly does not have the mental capacity to handle his own funds.

Neil, happy that everything seems to be resolved, that Grin has basically shit himself in public, that Maria was making herself out to be as crazy as Belatrix Lestrange, and that the Shyster was put in his place, decided to head back to his car, and trusted that anyone else with even a modicum of wit would be doing something similar. Still, at least VIPCreditsGrin had said he was better than a parasite, could have been so much worse, he could have called him a total cunt. That would be simply untrue, Neil had started on the bottom rung, doing whatever was necessary to get by. What he was now was a product of his upbringing, of the interactions he'd made since taking up a life of crime. Interactions with truly evil men like Destro, CommissarZverev of the difficult name, the gormless like VIPCreditsGrin and the gibbering baffoons of this world. Sure, he might be a bit of a cunt, a slight cunt, even a funny cunt, but a total cunt? Never!

Your honor:

Firstly, the payment that Mr. Grin claims to have made by me was not received. I can submit a photograph of my bank records (Which I will remind you all are not editable or deletable, as events are deletable) if you do not believe this.

Secondly, I have asked for no support from anyone in the crowd. Anything they say is of their choosing and was not solicited by myself.

Thirdly, I am not finished in examining Ms. Reynolds. My questions to Ms. Reynolds are these: 1) Were you asked or instructed by Mr. Grin, Mr. kong, or anyone else to send payment for the suit to myself? 2)If the answer to question 1 is yes, did you do so? 

And in answer to your questions, Your Honor, I spent about 30 minutes researching and tailoring Mr. Grin's suit and about one minute monogramming it.

Also, Your Honor, I request that I may (And, if he wishes, Mr kong as well) make a closing statement at the appropriate time.

Your Honor, I have been informed that Mr. Grin is attempting to sell the suit. I demand that he be ordered to stop this sale at once as the suit is unpaid for and therefore not his property.