Dominic of Detroit, MI, is filing a lawsuit against VIPCreditsGrin of Philadelphia, PA. Dominic is representing himself. VIPCreditsGrin will now announce his lawyer.

After Mr. Grin announces his lawyer, Dominic will make his opening statement. Mr. Grin will then respond. Both parties may provide evidence during their statements. After the statements, both sides may request witnesses.

A judge will be announced shortly. (If you want to be judge message me and Grin for our approval.)

It appears that Mr. Grin doesn't have the testicular fortitude to move his claim from the court of public opinion, to a court of Law. I have offered my services as Judge to both gentlemen, and whilst this meets Dominic's approval, I have yet to get any response from VIPCreditsGrin, nor has he designated an attorney to represent him. I believe if after a period of 72 hours Mr Grin hasn't nominated a suitable advocate and signalled his intentions to defend himself, then as the only person accepted as Judge, I would have to assume that Mr Grin doesn't wish to defend himself, and I would have to rule no contest and find in favour of the Plantiff, Mr Dominic.

Neil shakes his head sadly at this turn of events, he would much rather he or someone else ran a proper trial and let the evidence identify the true injured party.

Kong storms into the courthouse followed by his assistant Schaudt and law clerk MariaReynolds, both carrying stacks of paper of mostly relevant information. He always remembers the good advise passed down to him from his old man. Always be prepared, and if you are not, always make it look like you are prepared. He quickly finds his way to the courtroom and starts speaking.

I am here on behalf or my client VIPCreditsGrin. He is as you all know quite mentally challenged after that whole incident with the lamp but as his court appointed guardian I take it upon myself to appoint myself as his lawyer defending him in this ridiculous suit brought against him.

You wanted your day in court Mr. Dominic and now you shall have it!

I must also object to the notion of having Neil_Anblomi serving as judge in this case. First of all I have it on good authority that he is indeed not a qualified legal professional having forged his papers, quite badly I might add.

He is also currently involved in a suit I have brought against his client NotoriousBIG on behalf of my client VIPCreditsGrin over the matter of unpaid debt. I do not believe he i capable of serving as an impartial judge in this case. 

A courier arrives by bike and delivers two small envelopes to both Dominic and VIPCreditsGrin.

I hereby submit a request to adjudicate in the matter described here.

Should I be chosen to participate in this procedure, you will each be submitted to a round of Discovery by each party, which may include interrogatories, depositions or requests for evidence.  If I feel that additional, pertinent information is required to resolve your proceedings, I may request Counsel for additional resources.

Legal counsel for each party should conduct themselves in a manner that appropriately affords their clients an adequate defense.  If they do not conduct themselves in this way accordingly, they may be held in contempt, or replaced by a public defender at my discretion.

Rest assured that, if chosen, my goal will be to provide an objective, neutral venue in order to resolve your case, and that my impartiality rests on a vast, solid foundation of not giving the smallest scintilla of fucks about either one of you, your lives, or your opinions.

Cordially yours,

Daria

Sorry, but it isn't fair that you're in Mr. Grin's crew.

The courier, with a knowing smile, pulls out an additional letter for Dominic.

I would hope that you are not insinuating that, due to my city and place of employment that I am unable to provide a neutral venue for your grievances.   I would also counter that it is not, in fact, Mr. Grin's crew, but in fact Viktor's.

Can you provide an actionable evidence of bias or establish a previous relationship, or are you simply inferring an improper relationship due to a set of circumstances that are, on its face, circumstantial?

Further, while I notice that you have chosen to represent yourself, it is highly recommended that you both hire and express your grievances to a qualified lawyer, as they may be able to elucidate your concerns to the court in a way that complies with its rules, and may aid in eventually winning your case.

Best,

Daria

Daria, I would not approve a judge from my own crew, it'd be unfair to Mr. Grin. 

On behalf of my client VIPCreditsGrin Im happy to accept Daria to serve as our impartial judge. I can not so how the fact she is by chance serving in the same crew as my client makes her unable to handle this case like a professional. I would also like to add that I have it on good authority that Mr. VIPCreditsGrin is held in very low regard in Viktor's crew so his and Daria's affiliation should not be a problem here.

I hope you reconsider your position Mr. Dominic and that your judgement in this case will be a little better than it was when you attempted to make a suit for my client.

I can confirm that Mr. VIPCreditsGrin is not held in high regard within my ranks. Just yesterday I attempted to visit him at his place of residence for a bit of afternoon tea, and was denied entry due to a very large and obnoxious ( no trespassing) sign. The audacity.

Mr. kong ,

I suppose. I accept the offer.

My case is this: Mr. Grin requested, in the streets, a suit from me. I contacted him for more details and he told me what those details were. I tailored the suit and monogrammed it, as he requested. I then sent him the completed suit. Mr. Grin failed not only to respond to my follow-up messages, but did not pay me, the reason for this lawsuit. The payment requested was $500,000 or one (1) credit. By contracting me to make the suit, Mr. Grin obviously promised to pay me.

That is my statement. The letters can be produced if needed.

I would also like to call some witnesses when it is time to do so.

Daria enters the courtroom and takes a sheet of paper from the stenographer who captured the opening statements as she takes her chair. She quickly reads the page before placing it to her side.

Plaintiff, please provide to the court, as a matter of record, photographs of the suit in question, in addition to any correspondence you may have had with Defendant or any of their associates that were deemed relevant for the purposes of the transaction.  

Please also provide, if you are able, a list of witnesses that you wish to reserve for future deposition in this proceeding.

She turns to the Defendant's counsel, kong.

Do you have an opening statement, counsel?

Your honor,

Here is the suit:

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/638074970366410769/643101723887403008/mr.jpg

Here is my correspondence:

To: VIPCreditsGrin
From: Dominic
Sent: Nov 10, '19 23:42
Subject:

How do you like it?

To: Dominic
From: VIPCreditsGrin
Sent: Nov 08, '19 13:21
Subject:

super, thank you

To: VIPCreditsGrin
From: Dominic
Sent: Nov 08, '19 13:20
Subject:

Cool, will be ready a little later

To: Dominic
From: VIPCreditsGrin
Sent: Nov 08, '19 13:17
Subject:

Something that implies I'm a total deadbeat reporter would be wonderful

To: VIPCreditsGrin
From: Dominic
Sent: Nov 08, '19 13:17
Subject:

Hey there, sure I'll make ya a suit! Anything particular you want? A reporter, a mafisco, and regular guy?

I would like to reserve MariaReynolds as a witness and also ask some questions to Mr. Grin directly or through his counsel. I would also like to reserve CoconutRandy, but I may not need him in the long-run.

Your honor,

I forgot to include this:

To: VIPCreditsGrin
From: Dominic
Sent: Nov 10, '19 14:57
Subject:

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/638074970366410769/643101723887403008/mr.jpg

Flanked by his assistant Schaudt and law clerk MariaReynolds kong stands up to give his opening remarks. Next to them sits his client VIPCreditsGrin. The man is visibly shaken by the seriousness of this situation but he looks up at his attorney, the best in the country they say, with confidence. As he does so he drools a little out of the left side of his mouth but luckily MariaReynolds is there to clean him up.

Thank you your honour. I will not question the validity in Mr. Dominic's claim that he and my client agreed on a deal for a suit. What I will call into question is whether my client is liable to pay for what Mr. Dominic manages to produce for my client.

Let me quote my clients request.

I need something which identifies me as a man of substance but also allows me to effortlessly blend into the crowd. It needs to be loud but quiet. Eye-catching but concealing.

He pauses for a moment for dramatic effect before he points to the suit in question.

Your honour is that the kind of suit my client described? The kind of suit he asked for? The answer is no!

During this trial I aim to prove three points.

1. This is pure and simple shoddy workmanship, not what my client requested.

2. My client should not pay for this monstrosity.

3. That Dominic is to the tailoring profession what Mr. NotoriousBIG is to the profession of paying his debt. Ie not very good at it.

Thank you for your time your honour.

Counsel,

A clarifying question. In your quote for your client's request, it appears to be much more detailed than the level of specificity noted in Plaintiff's production of transcripts.  Was this request provided to Plaintiff verbatim as you have quoted here today? And, if so, are you able to provide the court with a registered timestamp of the Post Office's delivery of said communication?

Additionally, after your client's receipt of the suit, did your client make any attempt to communicate with the Plaintiff in hopes of receiving alterations that could have been made to your client's satisfaction?

She turns to Dominic.

It should be noted that MariaReynolds appears to have a place of employment with opposing counsel's law practice.  You have listed her as a potential witness to this proceeding.  Do you still wish to retain her for the purposes of your case?

Certainly your honour. If you would please turn your attention to this transcript of the conversation between Mr. Dominic and my clent.

Also I must protest the calling of my employee MariaReynolds as she is part of the defence team representing Mr. VIPCreditsGrin. And a vital one as well. If she is not here sitting by his side at all time with her tissue Im afraid he will drool all over the desk your honour.

I would myself like to call the following witnesses if you will permit:

1. The renowned tailor and stylist Jason_Vorhees who I believe can shed some light of how a professional would rate the product Mr. Dominic produced for my client.

2. The esteemed PhillipMarleau to serve as a character witness for my clients.

Counsel,

On this matter of the witness I am inclined to agree with you, although I will reserve judgment on the matter of MariaReynolds appearing on the stand, if, after the testimony of the other witnesses, I feel it to be pertinent in deciding this matter.

The other two witnesses you have requested to appear on your client's behalf are approved.

She leans back as she sets an additional piece of paper down in front of her.

Thank you for your production of the requested transcript; for those in the audience that were not able to view the written request found in the business ledger of "Dominic's Tailoring and Alterations" in Detroit, I can verify that the words are, in fact, verbatim and legitimate. 

However, counsel, I will ask once again - upon receipt of the suit, did your client make any attempt with the Plaintiff to resolve his dissatisfaction with the finished product?

Your honour. After receiving Mr. Dominic's work my client decided that the product was in such a state that it was beyond saving. Not only the quality as my witness and high fashion connoisseur Jason_Vorhees will testify. It was also extremely ill fitted for my client.

Mr. VIPCreditsGrin is what in the fashion industry is know as a size 200x250, the suit is in the size 1937×2500, first of all way to big and also ill fitting. Should my client wear the suit it would look something like this.

Now my client might be a simpleton but he still knows how to dress appropriate and well fitting clothes.

This is, as you can clearly see, not appropriate and well fitting your honour.

Thank you, counsel.

It is noted that, due to your client's utter dissatisfaction and the perceived enormous size of the suit provided, that your client did not engage in any remedial steps with the Plaintiff in hopes of securing an alteration and appears to have ceased communication with Plaintiff upon receipt of the item.

Plaintiff, counsel -- please begin the process of calling and interviewing your witnesses, with the exception of Ms. Reynolds.  Upon the first round of respective questioning of each of your witnesses, you will be given the option to cross-examine them if so desired. I will step in with any clarifying questions if they are so needed.

Your Honor,

I still wish to question Ms. Reynolds because Mr. Grin claims here that she was instructed to pay me.

Here is the post in the mentioned conversation:

Now, in addition to demonstrating yourself to be a phony seamstress, you've been besmirching my adequate name across the Streets, like I was a two-bit regular villain a la Destro. I owe you nothing. Our apprentice sports reporter MariaReynolds paid you for the suit on my behalf. Against my better judgement I permitted this transaction to, in her words, "stop that piece of lying filth bothering you any more". Therefore, the suit, in all of it's shoddiness, belongs to me via my agent, MariaReynolds. I suggest you stop claiming anything to the contrary.

And if I may respond to a comment of Mr. kong's, as well as a question you put to him, I also swear that Mr. Grin made no effort to have me alter the suit. He accepted it as it was, and therefore owes me payment.