Are you an inspiring writer, reporter or journalist?  Already got a newspaper?  Maybe you're an intern?

Simply leave a copy of your latest work attached to the notice board that I've just attached to this lamppost, and they'll be judged and the most impressive one will received $14M!

The deadline is midnight tomorrow!

I am not attempting to enter myself, so hopefully this is acceptable.  I would like to nominate Dominic for this outstanding effort in journalism!

The Star-Examiner: Extra 11-16-19

Started by: Dominic on Nov 16, '19 01:32

THE STAR-EXAMINER EXTRA NOVEMBER 16, 2019   Philly CL NotoriousBIG Removed; Two Others Also Dead   Today Bella Vista, PH, CL NotoriousBIG was killed, as well as Nomi and RetroMan, his hands. A Protection Order has been issued for all remaining active, tagged associates and members. NotoriousBIG was a 65-day old Don. He cooperated with Red forces when the rest of Philly was removed in early October and so survived. Vladimir, a wise guy in Viktor's crew, was apparently the killer. He also killed the hands. Vladimir himself and other sources tell us that he did it in an intoxicated state with no particular reason. NotoriousBIG's son says that he will not enter the life that his father was so well-respected in. The Star-Examiner extends condolences to those affected by these losses. If we receive further information it will be published in our next regular issue.   Dominic--Editor Published in Detroit, MICH

MariaReynolds, I can't accept your entry.  You didn't write that.

If the rules were that simply, everyone would enter Systematic Immolation of Thought and then I'd have to award everyone the top prize.

I was nominating Dominic for the win.  I might need to argue that you aren't capable of judging these contests either at this point. 

I enter my paper, and cordially thank MariaReynolds for her kind thought:)

Flash news from the LA underworlds.

Rumours began spreading around the various underworlds of the cities, that a major event took place in Bella Vista and involved the death of three high ranked mobsters.  Of course, we as journalists had a duty to travel there and risk our lives to find out, what happened. 
From interviewing different people, we could find out bits and pieces.

A woman who has been there had been interviewed about what exactly happened ''I don´t know I was just sitting in a cafe in this district and suddenly heard three shots. It was all very quick, and people in the streets began to run away, while the owner of the cafe closed the doors to keep us safe from the madness.''


Of course, this was not enough for us, so we started to make contact with a variety of different people to find out more about it. One man with a scar on his face was willing to talk with us for 100 dollars. A price we happily pay to provide you with the people with the best news!
''Yeah. The three big ones of Bella Vista were shot. I don´t know why. Apparently, one of them was misbehaving for some time already. Behaving like this in your home is fine, behaving like this in public can mean the death sentence.''

This sums it up, folks. The three people who fell yesterday were NotoriousBIG, Nomi and Retroman. A big name in the district, as well as his two hands who were helping him to control the operations. May they rest in peace.

Rebbelle went to the post office and mailed her entry hoping  that weather did not delay the mail entry.

Questions Of Reality

 

Corrupt love is deluded

Disrupting the innocence

Distrust of self

Fear of being average

Deception of the soul

Transparent time wasted

Self Sacrifice


Told to follow the social norm
even though it goes against every grain in your body.
Like a zombie you blindly follow,
the flea infested shit mongers on their soapboxes.
As they promise to save you with,
the falsities they bleed.
While you worship the promises of not having to
be held accountable for your every deed.
So you abandon your freedom to choose,
to be led by sheep dressed as wolves.

Self-centered love

Servitude of the mind

Invisible desire

Shivering heat


Told to follow the social norm
even though it goes against every grain in your body.
Like a zombie you blindly follow,
the flea infested shit mongers on their soapboxes.
As they promise to save you with,
the falsities they bleed.
While you worship the promises of not having to
be held accountable for your every deed.
So you abandon your freedom to choose,
to be led by sheep dressed as wolves.


Bound by greed

Smell of rot

Infected Minds

Deadly curses

Told to follow the social norm
even though it goes against every grain in your body.
Like a zombie you blindly follow,
the flea infested shit mongers on their soapboxes.
As they promise to save you with,
the falsities they bleed.
While you worship the promises of not having to
be held accountable for your every deed.
So you abandon your freedom to choose,
to be led by sheep dressed as wolves.


Now ask yourself what have you become.

Violence
Death
Hatred
Defiant
Survival
Feral
EVOLVED

I am not sure I will come close to defeating BelleCorsica's stunning choose-your-adventure odyssey. My result was: feral. But here is a piece from The Coconut Chronicle Vol. 8, an expose on the powerful allure of Luc-DiCaprio (with apologies to Rain, who I believe has an open ticket with our customer service department):

-

LOTHARIO DI-CAPRIO

By: Coconut Randy

The fact that Luc-DiCaprio is somewhat of a Casanova in our community is no big secret. It's like saying Coconut Randy has the straightest hair; a cause for admiration but no big surprise. He is a social butterfly, a regular feature in the business districts of the nation, sometimes appearing in buildings already foreclosed for 7 or 8 years, such is his dedication to the scene. But more than that, it is his playboy lifestyle that has caught the attention of the world, his smooth bachelor ways adored by his peers:

"Luc smiled and told Jake that he could have told him that this lady was very attractive and then Luc apologized in advance for staring at her."

He is an attentive man, an eye-contact mercenary. A man who won't just take a picture, because it lasts longer, but direct the whole movie. 

The woman bags were carried in by the two men that came with her.  She was a long legged Platinum blonde bombshell.  She could have been a movie star if she applied her self in that field."

And look how he cares. A movie star! If only she had put in the hard work. The natural charisma was all there. A leading lady, if she had met Luc sooner. Are you paying attention, gentlemen? 

"Then Luc stood up and took Maria by the hand and started salsa dancing in a romantic way as Maria eyes got big and then he placed her in a dip as she was looking up into his eyes Luc leaned in to kiss her and she replied no, no and Gilbo and Luc started laughing as Luc released her and she fell to her butt.  Then Luc looked at Rain and waved his first finger left and right and said tist, tist, my little buttercup"

A sense of humour too! How goofy his companions were, his silly little buttercups. The games they played! Serious, playful, business, and business time, he is a man of many moods and faces.

However, ladies and gentlemen, it is one interaction that truly raised our eyebrows here in the investigative team and I must warn you, the following content is very sensitive. In fact, for the subjects involved, perhaps the sensitivity of it was precisely the problem. And while The Coconut Chronicle prides itself on the deadly serious and high-brow nature of our publication, these scandalous public records are not for the church-going crowd:

"After cleaning his face and checking his shirt he walked back to the floor and walked up to Rain and gave her a sweet tight hug that made her squeek out a load Ohhh.  Then she stepped back and looked up at him not sure he he was trying to come unto her or just excited to see her."

Oh boy. Luc-DiCaprio loves women and women love him. 

Stunning work, boss.

To confirm, Commissar, I will be entering a new piece which is currently under construction. AND, editor-in-chief, CoconutRandy, Coconut Complaints Department bigwig, VIPCreditsGrin, told me that despite much stressing, no complainers had correctly followed the Coconut Chronicle Complaints Handling Procedure (CCCHP) and accordingly no complaints are currently on record. I therefore assume everyone loves it.

VIPCreditsGrin - you have until midnight!

Is that a hard deadline or is there any flexibility?

The last time I was flexible, I got so much stress and nonsense, it was hardly worth it.

You can have an extension, but if your piece is so good that it wins, I'm going to reduce the prize money by 70%.

Boss CommissarZverev, you asked me to serve as 1 of the judges. This is my honest opinion if you are flexible on the deadline for new people to enter in this competition. I think they should be entitled to the full prize money if they should win regardless of whoever it is. 

Gangster Leonardo,

Son, I think you're right.  If VIPCreditsGrin gets his submission in on time, I'll give him the full 100% of the winnings that I've offered.  Having taken your advice, I agree with you.  I'll reduce his winnings by about 70% of it's late.  

Stop the Presses with Edward R. Murrow

The news has been going around calling Luc-DiCaprio a playboy and womanizer and even thou most men aspire to have such a title Luc DiCaprio didn't want that type or any type of publicity.  Mr. DiCaprio is a man that enjoyed staying out of the spotlight.   The article that was writing has been blasting him left and right with his person relationships with friends, family and love interest.  So today he is with me Edward R. Murrow to cover his story.  

Edward asked why was it so hard to have that title why weren't you flattered to be called a Playboy.  

Luc explained that the woman he was pursuing was upset with him and question his motives in engaging in a relationship with her.  She didn't want a playboy nor did she see him in that light but now she was confused.  Benny Sigel he's a playboy, Charles Luciano he a playboy but me I'm just a man that goes to work and then home he speaks with his love interest whenever they are together.  When he goes in a restaurant women sneaker and point.  Men challenge him to all kinds of tom foolery and now its seems to continue.  

Edward asked who are you dealing with are the backlash and how are you dealing with it.

Luc explained that life is harder, people that never spoke to me asking personal questions, church groups standing in front of my home at all hours of the day and night.  Even the local police no have to follow him around they have laws to protect him and at the same time arrest him there are laws that can send him to prison if he is charged with bumping into a woman that thinks he was trying to come on to her when it was a simple accident. 

"Mr Murrow I just want my privacy back.  I am a small time businessman I sale plumbing supplies.  I have friends and when I was in Bogota I flew there on a commercial plane and stayed with my friends, friends.  That sweet woman was portrayed in a negative aspect and because of that she has to rethink some things.  I have friends that now avoid me because they don't want to be in the spotlight.   I wasn't asked or given any notification that this type of story was going to be released.  I try hard to treat every woman with respect and yes I like to laugh and make the woman I'm dating laugh and my friends laugh but now Ed it's, it's Well  Mr. Murrow it's a lonely world for me now."   

Thank you for sharing Mr. DiCaprio.  We hope that this clears your name.

ntern Grinbini pins some of his latest work to the lamppost for CommissarZverev and others to rake their eyes over. 

Competition Rigging - Solving the mystery of the death of NotoriousBIG

Around 11PM, 17th November and shots ring out into the night. Word quickly spreads throughout the criminal underworld that former Bella Vista kingpin, NotoriousBIG, has been found dead in a pool of his own blood. Police are concerned of revenge attacks by the Liberty Street Elites hierarchy. Their fears are misplaced though as apparently the assailants very rudely ignored her "( no trespassing)" signs and fired several rounds into Nomi. I never knew RetroMan existed, although I found out that he had died as well. Three high profile murders; the snake had been decapitated and the slaying of a prominent Don quickly became a footnote as business continued unabated. Liberty Street Elites were no more and Adolph_Thornton is believed to have stepped into the void BIG's fall created, establishing himself as the main player in the Bella Vista area.

But why? 

There had been no announcement, the killing was unexplained. I attended the funeral and amongst the platitudes, I discovered a lead. Prominent Philly businessman, Viktor, offered his condolences, saying:

But the way you behaved today in main, and at least twice before this, is unbecoming of a district head. It reflects poorly on me and the city as a whole. I had to intercede.

The cops might not be paying attention, but a newshound like Intern Grinbini doesn't miss a smoking gun like that. I immediately acquired logs of "main" to discover what had happened, tasting the ashen residue of the hot tip fresh in my mouth. I trawled through the transcripts like I was a fisherman....trawling....not for fish though, for news....and I found...a cover up.

Apparently NotoroiusBIG had acted inappropriately in a coffee shop. He had threatened someone he shouldn't have threatened and was providing further evidence that the Billy Big Balls routine has a time and a place and it wasn't then. 

Or is that what happened? 

I can exclusively reveal that NotoriousBIG was slain for his involvement with the famous writing contests. Whilst NotoriousBIG's involvement in the CommissarZverev writing contests was well known as he was the financier of most, if not all of them, and a prominent judge (one of many) in at least several, what isn't known is that BIG had fallen out of favour with CZ. CZ, flush from a big dice win, had decided he didn't want BIG's money any longer; he could handle the money end himself (for the first time). BIG was unimpressed at being tossed aside like an old shoe and told CZ he would reveal that he was the man behind the curtain. CZ couldn't allow an Emperor's New Clothes moment and immediately petitioned the NY and DT hierarchies for help in 'ending the threat' (his words) that BIG posed. They agreed.

Around 11PM, 17th November and shots ring out into the night. CommissarZverev stands over the corpse of NotoriousBIG. Nomi is also slain, her ( no trespassing) sign providing scant protection from the only man brave enough to defy it; the villain, Destro. 

Fin. 

I don't think you need to be a rocket scientist to see that BelleCorsica is winner is here.  Is it even necessary at this point to involve a judge? 

First off I guess I have to clarify this before everyone gets their pink, laced, 1920s era-style panties in a bunch, that I have nothing to do with this contest in any official capacity whatsoever, so please spare me your conspiracy theories.  But my opinion aside, I'm a numbers man, and if you know anything about numbers is that they don't lie.  What I see here and what can be clearly seen by anyone with a pair of eyeballs is that CoconutRandy's tip hat only amassed $150k in tips, MariaReynolds collected an even more pitiful $100k for her entry.  I can make that much selling a single load of heroin.  Power-quartet Dominic, Antonio, Luc-DiCaprio and VIPCreditsGrin checking in with a whopping combined sum of zero dollars in public support while BelleCorsica's unique and chillingly honest article boasts over 3 million in tips.  Why is this even something that requires discussion?

Madness and mayhem ruled the day as notorious contest con-artist CommissarZverev dueled not one but two of the countries respected and feared mafioso late in the evening of November 10^th. 

The tension between the late Blackboard and CommissarZverev had been steadily building for some time, until Blackboard simply had gotten, “tired of his shit.”  Tragically for his family members in Philly, @Balckboard proved unable to back up his tough words.  After failing an astounding 9 attempts to aim properly at CommissarZverev’s head, he managed to catch a bullet to the chest which killed him near instantly.  The surrounding crowd balked as CommissarZverev loudly exclaimed, “I have one word for Philly: Enough.  This city lost a good man.  The feud has simmered between me and the city of PH for long enough.  Let's bury our differences with BlackBoard.  I stepped up to the challenge.  You too should.”

Zverev’s second duel of the night may have been even more meaningless than Blackboard’s demise and therefore perhaps more compelling a story. 

CommissarZverev was flying high on his fluke of a victory and began searching for another chance to die. In fact, he extended a challenge to another of Philly’s prominent mafioso, Brute; however, this challenge was ignored.  Meanwhile New York’s @Amsterdam_Vallon began practically begging to duel the recent champion.  Sources closest to Mr. Vallon have been reluctant to comment on the potential reasons he may have had for wanting to engage in this deadly battle. 

Onlookers at the scene remember vividly CommissarZverev attempting to avoid the battle.  “I heard him say ‘Amsterdam, I’ve no wish to fight you.’ He was being a pussy,” remembers Philadelphian earner Vaelin.  Amsterdam continued to push until the streets of Las Vegas once again became a battleground.

All three duelers must have been training at the same useless shooting range, as the second battle took almost as long as the first to finish.  Spectators began taking bets on how many shots would be needed before one of the shooters would actually hit their intended target. 

In the end, it was not a feat of sharpshooting that ended @Amsterdam_Vallon’s life.  Moments before Blackboard had challenged him, CommissarZverev had actually been trying on a suit that he was considering purchasing from VIPCreditsGrin.  As it turns out the suit was unreasonably large, and in the excitement of the hour CommissarZvarev had forgotten to remove the suit and return it to the rightful owner.  After the 7^th failed shot on Amsterdam, Zvarev stepped forward attempting a better sightline and tripped over the hem of the enormous trousers.  As he tripped, he pulled the trigger, and as a happy accident the bullet hit Vallon instead of an innocent bystander. 

Rumor has it that this is why CommissarZverev was so interested in purchasing said suit at a recent fraudulent auction, that he was willing to compromise yet another of his writing competitions.  He believes that the suit will bring him luck when future assailants make an attempt on his life. 

“It’s hilarious honestly, everyone knows that MariaReynolds now owns the original ‘lucky’ suit.  I am attempting unsuccessfully to purchase it from her myself,” relates a source who wished to remain anonymous.

Will CommissarZverev survive another series of duels by what can only be described blind luck?  Will we ever find out @Amsterdam_Vallon’s reasons for challenging the duel? Will MariaReynolds ever sell the infamous suit in question?  Only time will tell.