It was that time of the night where another Philly crewleader decided to stick their head over the parapet and join in. Watching Evening’s attempt earlier had brought Vulcan onto the floor... anything she can do I can do better?  Maybe they had their own side bet about who was better. 

Vulcan looked like he meant business. 

Rack 1 - If the side bet was who could do better, Vulcan was about to lose if he kept this up. Did he need glasses?  Did he understand the rules?  Everything he threw, missed. Even Evening of Evening’s Evelina crew felt sorry for him. Vulcan’s bagel. 

Rack 2 - Well, that was different. Up and down like the stock exchange at the start of the depression. Nothing in rack 1 and nothing but net in rack 2. Maybe he did know the rules and was lulling Sisyphus into a false sense of security but his five points were potentially a marker. 

Rack 3 - Ah yes, the only lulling was of Vulcan. Chuck would have to go check the balls afterwards. To go 0,5 and then 2 did not bode well. Out of contention already did not bode well for Vulcan although to be fair, it was going to take great skill and luck to get out of Philly. 

Rack 4 - Was the side bet who could miss more shots? Vulcan was giving it a good go. His timing was atrocious. The only thing stopping him from a bagel was a lucky bobbling shot that just bounced in. VulcAn was in danger of not beating Evening if he had another bagel and his skills did not say otherwise. 

Rack 5 - Well... all that Vulcan can say is “I’m head of Evening!”  His one point taking him clear but what a way to get there. Were it not for his Jekyll and Hyde first two racks, even Evening would have been able to look at Vulcan with pity. Well played though!

PH Leaderboard

1 – Sisyphus 18 points

2 – JimmyTheWeed 14 points

3 – Ghus 13 points

Still wearing at least 20% of his underwear, Right had been waiting until it was the Right time to show up.

As the crowd just was left in pain for Mercury's Misery and Grin-07's poor attempt to even get near Elodin's score, he walked up to the 3-point line.

Throw that ball over, Chuck, he said.

I will show you what the Right Way to throw a ball is.
By the way.. that money for entering, do I first have to take it out of the crew account and pass it on to you, Charles_Barkley?

Right back-spinned the ball just too far in front of him to actually properly control it again, as it landed on his toes and bounced a couple of feet towards the paint.. Without losing his composure, he stepped towards the ball, picked it up, straightened his back and noticed where he was standing

Free throws it was, Right, Chuck?

Are these nets regulation size? Something is off here. How am I losing to Elodin? My warm-up round wasn't great. My 2nd round was pretty good. My 3rd round is going to blow the lid off this place. It's time to show these suckers what The Big Ragu can really do. 

Determined to make his final attempt count, Ghus toddled his way up to the racks.  Sisyphus’ total looked tricky to beat but it certainly wasn’t insurmountable.  An early morning start for Chuck had him feeling like Wee Willie Winkie in his night gown but a coffee or two was getting him woken up a bit.

Ghus stood all zen-like gathering his composure.

Rack 1 – Early mornings didn’t agree so much with Ghus it appeared.  He should have spent some time on the practice court before rocking up for a serious effort.  His radar was certainly off, with the two shots he did hit almost bobbling out.  Solid, if unspectacular might be the phrase of the day.

Rack 2 – Better from Ghus.  He only missed one of the baskets, it would take a sustained effort like this to overtake Sisyphus but he was going the right way about getting there.

Rack 3 – This rack was Ghus’ Sliding Doors moment- one path takes him to the lead and the other has him scrabbling to get any points on the board.  This was not the path to greatness.  Neither solid nor unspectacular.  There were reasons ordinary people were not pros and it was moments of pressure like this.  One point as it looked like the ball would barely reach the hoop.

Rack 4 – Much like many of the other competitors, the phrase too little too late could be sprung out.  Three point shooting at this level requires a lot of luck and Ghus was getting a bit more but the luck was needed in rack 3.  The three points looked good but definitely a case of “What if…”

Rack 5 – Saving his best for the last rack of his last attempt, Ghus hit four sweet shots.  The crowd were very appreciative of his efforts as he consolidated his place on the Philly leaderboard.  Well done Ghus, a good job.

PH Leaderboard
1 – Sisyphus 18 points
2 – JimmyTheWeed 14 points
3 – Ghus 14 points

While Zapata was getting all pumped up for his final round, Elodin still sat on the Chicago throne, undefeated after his fantastic round 2. He was nonchalantly eating a hot dog while trying to keep his improvised crown made of an old hoop and some dried rubber from overused basketball balls balanced on his head. He only addresses these words to his old Mexican rival :

Some people call me the king of trashes, but I am not a big fan of trash-talking, so I'll keep this short: good luck Zapata, but even luck won't help you here. I am the rightful champion of Chicago. Your time has passed old man, round 2 was when you should have a made a difference ! 

The battle for LA was about to heat up.  harison’s smack down of DiegoCortez had woken him up a little and with a stretch of the arms and twist of the neck, he stood up, looked at Chuck and said “I’m back in”.

Diego spun one of the balls in his hand waiting for the signal to go.

Rack 1 – Chuck looked at harison’s score.  He’d had a good start so Diego would need to match things if he was going to regain the LA supremacy.  Again, solid.  Three baskets kept him on track.  This could be a close run thing.

Rack 2 – Diego was certainly getting into his groove now.  The early morning crowd were getting fired up and the juices were flowing.  Four straight shots and when going for the fifth it wasn’t a million miles away.  harison was starting to shuffle uncomfortably in the hot seat.

Rack 3 – Pressure is a wonderful thing in sports.  Sorts the men from the boys, the wheat from the chaff.  Was Rack 3 going to be the bad rack of the day today just like Ghus?  Judging by Diego’s attempts then yes.  One basket made.  It wasn’t pretty…BUT…Diego just had to keep in mind that harison had a shocker so there was still everything to play for.

Rack 4 - Diego glanced at the scores.  He had to make half of the last two racks to draw level, six would get him in the lead.  Miss, swish, swish, miss…then another swish.  The game was still on.  Three to get the lead.

Rack 5 – There was something in Diego’s water, that’s for sure.  Where the pressure had took its toll on Diego in rack 3, knowing he had to get three baskets in rack 5 didn’t seem to phase him.  He just drilled them in but missed the last two.  Still good enough…just!

LA Leaderboard
1 – DiegoCortez 14 points
2 – harison 13 points

Zahara was fuming, Left had refused to give her the entrance fee so she was forced to beat the ever loving snot out of him. Eventually Left's wallet fell out of his pocket and she was able to collect the entrance fee for the tournament.

"Here you go, this is my fee and I am ready to have a go at this hoop game thing"

The battle for Seattle was on.  Right took to the floor, hoping to wipe the floor.  Nipsey had an early stranglehold on the city but Right was sure he was the right man to represent the city.

Right looked left at Chuck then right at Left.

Rack 1 – For his first outing, Right looked slightly uncomfortable.  The lights and crowds could be disconcerting so a slow start was understandable.  Right channelled his inner Pacers energy and hoped he’d be a new Reggie but Pest was probably hoping to pick that moniker up.  Two baskets went in but he was not looking too shabby.

Rack 2 – Chuck hoped that his right hand wasn’t suffering from performance anxiety.  He didn’t quite have a rhythm that Chuck had seen but it was still early days.  Another couple of points but Nipsey’s total was starting to get away from Right if he didn’t start concentrating.

Rack 3 – Much much better.  Literally a whisker away from making all five baskets to get himself right back in contention.  Right did look satisfied with the four shots made and not losing any more ground to Nipsey.

Rack 4 – Not so hot this one though.  Right could have tried shooting with his left hand and probably had a similar level of success.  He did make a couple but this was one of those moments where cometh the hour cometh the man.  Big rack needed to get the lead!

Rack 5 – Talk about clutch!  With four of the last five, Right didn’t even look phased like an ice-cool mechanical German.  No problem at all!  Done, dusted and thanks Nipsey for keeping my seat warm was the way Right took himself off the court.

SEA Leaderboard
1 – Right 14 points
2 – Nipsey 13 points

Right heard Elodin speak to Zapata and broke into the one-sided-conversation, that was meant for one thing, mentally disbalancing Zapata.

Nice city crow, Elodin.

Having taken the city lead, as expected, Right was genuinely happy not to have been spotted when stepping on the line, he felt he should go again. Mainly because he wondered if he could take the first two positions at the same time.

But first, he would look at Zahara's throwing..

Zahara, the international woman of mystery in her headscarf, looked at Right’s effort and must have figured this basketball lark looked easy.  Wanting to get a good score on the board for the sisterhood, she stood up and handed Chuck the entry fee.

“Let me play this hoop thing.”

Chuck let the “hoop thing” comment slide thinking it’s not the same as netball you know!

Zahara stood all aloof and dignified while the crowd got excited.

Rack 1 – Zahara was definitely not in Kansas anymore!  The hot seat in the crucible of three pointery was not the place for the faint hearted and the first rack was always a killer if somebody was unprepared.  The crowd applauded the one basket she got.  This looked like it could go the way of Evening and Chuck did not want that!

Rack 2 – Hmmm.  There was a certain stiff upper lip, sangfroid nature about Zahara.  That particular first rack road bump was out of the way and she dispatched rack 2 in a very business like manner!  Nothing missed, not a bead of sweat seemed to form and it was…just done.  Almost as if missing one was never an option.

Rack 3 – Not a glimmer of emotion was visible behind the sunglasses and headscarf.  Not even when one shot was missed in the middle, there was a barely audible sigh from Zahara as it rattled the rim.  Another four points, she was marching relentlessly towards Right’s total!

Rack 4 – Chuck was tempted to pinch Zahara to see if she was human and not some kind of basketball robot.  Having made nine out of ten, what would the next rack bring?  Well another five.  Fourteen out of fifteen shots made.  Maybe this was a bit like netball!  Right’s total had been beaten already.  Would she miss anything else?

Rack 5 – The internal program on the basketball robot was obviously set to beat the highest total then fold to avoid suspicion.  Like rack 1, Zahara was not as effective for some reason.  One basket made certainly seemed to give the impression that she was human after all!

SEA Leaderboard
1 – Zahara 16 points
2 – Right 14 points
3 – Nipsey 13 points

Spurred into action, Right took offence at only getting to sit in the lead for the barest of tiny times and immediately leapt up to try to recover his crown of sorts…or at least if the rumours of Zahara bot were true, then the highest placed human in Seattle.

He stood by the rack and waited for Chuck to tell him to go.

Rack 1 – Flustered, blustered and all over the place but a point on the board was a start.  Zahara had done the same and surely he could the same…you know…with barely missing a shot.  Chuck was ever the optimist, there was still another 20 shots to go!

Rack 2 – Whistling the tune to “Anything you can do, I can do better” Right pinged in shot after shot like the pro he hoped to grow up to be as a kid.  Five straight and the pressure didn’t seem to be having any impact!

Rack 3 – Well, it didn’t take much to crack Right.  Fizz, fizz was rack 2; fizzle fizzle was rack 3.  The excitement of rack 2 had gone to Right’s head and he only made a measly 2 points.  Hope springs eternal though and it was still theoretically possible to beat Zahara with a good run!

Rack 4 – Hmmm, hitting more than is missed is always a good sign but not when you have to barely miss at all.  Three baskets made.  If it wasn’t for rack 2, Right would be completely out of sight but he still had the slightest of hopes at least of matching Zahara.

Rack 5 – The crowd sighed as Right missed three of his shots.  Just a little bit of a damp squib at the end.  Right didn’t do a Grin-07 and completely fold but it wasn’t far from it.  Close but no cigar as the old adage went!

SEA Leaderboard
1 – Zahara 16 points
2 – Right 14 points
3 – Nipsey 13 points

Right admitted he was not on top of his game with that last series. He felt it wasn't Right that Zahara just hoopied her way to the leading position.

Charles_Barkley.. Right whispered

If I send you the money back that I just took from our crew account, can you then, in hindsight, check the size of the ball Zahara used.. I mean.. It's only fair if we use the same size and weight, Right? It's all about good sportsmanship.. That's the only way to go.

When he noticed Zahara was looking to her Left, Right added

How about you get half the winnings if you let me shoot from the elbow instead?

Bristling with indignation at his name being used in vain to describe a last rack meltdown, Grin-07, tried to redeem himself.  There was a reluctance to have a raccoon as the representative for Chicago and people were queuing up to take a shot.

Grin loomed over the rack

Rack 1 – A slow start was not what was needed to overtake Elodin.  Experience was showing that anything above 14 or 15 points was always going to be tough to beat for normal people not used to the pressure and environment of pro basketball.  Grin-07 did have a slow start.  Two baskets were ok, Elodin had a couple of shaky racks so all hope was not lost.

Rack 2 – Displaying a degree of consistency that few can achieve, Grin managed another two.  Chuck thought maybe he was going for a big finish, lull Elodin into thinking he was safe.  That must be the plan.

Rack 3 – Oooh…Chuck had seen these movies, victory snatched from the jaws of defeat.  After this rack, if Grin got a win from this, movies would be made about it.  Yet another two.  Grin needed the miracle of Chicago to get a win from here!

Rack 4 – Ahh, so close to starting the comeback.  If it wasn’t for the pesky size of hoop, Grin would surely have got all five.  Just an inch or two wider and the one he missed would have dropped.  But like so many before him, the tiny word if stood between victory and the almost inevitable defeat!  At least he could have the satisfaction of hopefully not folding again in rack 5.

Rack 5 – The curse of Grin struck once more in the last rack.  A single point.  Better than nothing Chuck reckoned but even still.  It would take a real effort from someone to get past the feisty raccoon!

CH Leaderboard
1 – Elodin 16 points
2 – Grin-07 13 points
3 – AidenPearce 11 points

The angry Mexican Zapata was up to try his last attempt at defeating Elodin.  Chuck was starting to feel sorry for the little guy but it wasn’t for him to root for anyone…objectivity being Chuck’s middle name!  The maths was simple – Elodin had 16 points, Zapata had this one last chance so it was all down to these last 25 shots.

Zapata looked slightly nervous as he stood by the first rack.

Rack 1 – A great start from Zapata, that sweaty nervous look is probably just his natural look – spending too long from underneath his sombrero.  Only one miss and Grin-07 perked up a little, a Mexican representing Chicago was obviously more acceptable than a raccoon.

Rack 2 – If the court had a roof, it would be looking to cave in at this point.  Maybe not totally…where there was life there was hope and all that.  Elodin’s total wasn’t THAT far out of reach but when only one point is picked up then it would be as well being a million miles away.  Uno punto para Zapata.

Rack 3 – Like the third album from his favourite mariachi band, this was one effort too far for Zapata.  Maybe it would be appreciated by hardcore Zapata devotees but again…he showed the second rack was no fluke.  Another single point and his hopes of beating Elodin were over.  Even just drawing level was going to be tricky!

Rack 4 – He needed a strong start to get anything out of this but it wasn’t to be.  The only strong thing on the court was the fixings of the hoop with all the abuse the misses were giving it.  Two paltry points.  All he had to cling on to was at one point he was leading Chicago…before anyone else really joined in!

Rack 5 – The fact that he had the inclination to continue was admirable but in fairness Chuck should have just showed him back to the stands.  The crowd willed him to have one last good rack but that ship had sailed like the mariachi bands in the floating gardens of Xochimilco.  A final couple of baskets and that was Zapata’s misery over.  Scores of 9, 12 and 10 were ok but not good enough for such a strong Chicago turnout.

CH Leaderboard
1 – Elodin 16 points
2 – Grin-07 13 points
3 – AidenPearce 11 points

Grin-07 watched Zapata’s last attempt and figured if a job needed doing, he’d be best doing it himself.  Throwing the entry fee at Chuck he marched to the first rack.

Rack 1 – Nice strong start from Grin.  Three baskets made but given his propensity for folding like a badly built deck chair Elodin would be feeling confident.

Rack 2 – The first signs of a creaky chair frame starting appearing with lots of missed shots.  Chants of “There’s only one JaVale McGee…!” started with some wags in the back rows of seats.  Another one pointer for Grin.

Rack 3 – When the crowd thought that things couldn’t get worse and with Grin hoping for a bit of a miracle, chucking up four duds was not part of the plan.  Yet another one point effort…Grin-01 would be more apt!

Rack 4 – Finally something to cheer about.  By making the shots look easy, hopefully some more in the crowd would start to join in…Grin’s three successes masked the two falures leaving him hope of an element of respectability.

Rack 5 – Ah, the good old last rack of Grin was always a sight to behold.  If things weren’t wrapped up by Rack 4 then they were never going to happen with his fifth and so it transpired once again.  Two points in total in his three final racks.  It provided hope to every other mere mortal.  His scores of 13, 11 and 9 were fine.  If he quickly located to Las Vegas, New York or Detroit then he could be their city entry!

CH Leaderboard
1 – Elodin 16 points
2 – Grin-07 13 points
3 – AidenPearce 11 points

The Chicago assault on poor Elodin continued with Rick_Dalton stepping up to the plate next.  

Rack 1 – A steady but unspectacular start given it was Rick’s first rack in front of this hostile, raccoon-friendly crowd.  They whistled and booed as he attempted his shots and cheered his misses.  The two points he got seemed to be a fair return given the hostility!

Rack 2 – Better from Rick, picking up another three points and maybe he’s been able to block out the whistles.  Who knew raccoons had such vociferous support.

Rack 3 – The jeering got louder as Rick made a couple of baskets but it looked to be getting too much for just now.  Only two and Elodin was looking out of reach.

Rack 4 – The effect the crowd was having couldn’t be neglected with people waving hastily sewn likenesses of Elodin behind the hoop to distract the Chicago folks.  Another two points.  Nothing shabby but not enough to challenge.

Rack 5 – Rack “Grin-07” – the killer of dreams.  Like his illustrious compatriots, this was the hill that finally defeated Rick_Dalton.  His one point, testament to the pressure pro-Elodin animal lovers can put people under!.

CH Leaderboard
1 – Elodin 16 points
2 – Grin-07 13 points
3 – Zapata 12 points

Right’s third and final throw of the dice.  The hullabaloo from the pro-Elodin Chicago fans died down and the appreciation of a potential upset started to buzz its way round the court.

Right stood up and started to take aim!

Rack 1 - Right seemed to have the tactic of just trying to match Zahara.  It hadn’t worked the last time but this time it would surely be different.  Chuck figured just trying to score as many as possible might be the way forward but it’s not like he had experience of this sort of thing…oh…wait.  Anyway, Right managed to make two great baskets and three not so great attempts.

Rack 2 – The matching only seemed to work for the first rack.  What turned up on the second was a repeat of the first…two nice shots and three uggos.  It was not looking great but stranger things have happened!

Rack 3 – So from channelling some inner Pacer magic in his first attempt to going full out Rik Smits on this rack.  Even Rik would have felt bad about missing all these three pointers although with a 0.1 average Rik wasn’t a million miles away from Right.  Zero points and Zahara was safe for now.

Rack 4 – Could this rack be an improvement, well it couldn’t be worse so yes, his one point was an improvement.  With the third and fourth racks, Right emulated his hero with a 0.1 average…he could hang his head hold his head high!

Rack 5 – Now was the time for Right to shine, to go out with a bang and give the crowd a little bit of that razzle Jazzle.  Swish, swish, swish, swish, swish to end it.  Why had he not done that earlier?  Only Right would know.  With scores of 14,13 and 10; Right joined the list of names who peaked and fell away.

SEA Leaderboard
1 – Zahara 16 points
2 – Right 14 points
3 – Nipsey 13 points

Next up in the Seattle battle is magnificent MezzaninE trying to do what Right has failed to do.

Rack 1 – Strong start from the new guy, he looks like he has done this before!  Four solid efforts and one a little awry.  Four is a good start though.

Rack 2 – Mezz is still hanging in there but the radar is a little wonky.  He makes more than he misses which is good and is technically ahead of the curve at this point.  Another handy three.  It hinges on the next couple of racks though.

Rack 3 – Where Zahara shone, Mezz has shrunk away a little.  Only managing two this time was harsh but you make your own luck in this game.  Tall order to beat Zahara from here but it’s not impossible.  Would a betting man take that bet though?

Rack 4 – Make or break her for young Mezz.  Does he show Right how to do it right or does it all go wrong?  A solid three points leaves him something to do but it will take a full rack in the fifth to do it.  Can he handle the pressure?

Rack 5 – The answer to that is no.  Two measly points.  It’s a respectable score, enough to knock Nipsey off the leaderboard but not enough to get the lead.

SEA Leaderboard
1 – Zahara 16 points
2 – Right 14 points
3 – MezzaninE 14 points.

Utterly dejected by the last rack of throws, Mezz slumps down and begins to reach something from his sports bag. 
The majority of the guests assume the worst and just as panic was about to set in, they realise what Mezz is pulling out isn't the latest tommy gun, (that would've been the violin case, duh!) but it was something large... something shiny. 

*Ahem*

"My Apologies all, as was accustomed in the small wager I had with Zahara, upon her shooting a better score than myself I would now like to present Zahara with the following crown of glory"

Mezz lifts a five ft high brilliant golden crown, covered in glitter, tinsel and polished within an inch of it's life. This monstrosity screams (I'm not a) "Low Key Winner" with a large smile upon his face, he clears his throat:

"and further to this I have promised to serenade you all with my dulcet tones with a tune I wrote to the melody of the great Jon Bon Jovi. "

Shot missed the hoop
And Zahara's to blame
Damnit, I give basketball a bad name…

*Air Guitar*

An angel's scarf is what you sell
The promise of millions, then put me through hell
Chains of Charles got a hold on me
When your leaders surname is Bar-ker-ley 

Oh, you've a loaded gun, yeah
Thats why I’m singing this, I have nowhere to run
No one can save me
You’re shiny new crown is done

Shot missed the hoop
And Zahara's to blame

Damnit, I give basketball a bad name...(bad name)
I played my shots and you play your game
Damnit, I give basketball a bad name...(bad name)
I give basketball a bad name...

 

As the crowd subsided, the ringing of out of tune, badly worded melody starting to leave the air - Mezz slumped back to the HQ, dejected that Charles_Barkley hadn't received the note about lowering the hoop for him. 

It was back to training before he decided to take on Zahara again!