I feel like Detroit have been extremely underrepresented in this competition. Might be my chance to win something for once. Sign me up and lets hole in one this competition.

Latom though

Latom lets out a series of coughs. Trying to bring herself back together she continues.

That was not at all right. Lets home run this competition!

Feeling pleased with herself she slide Don Charles_Barkley an envelope with cash

It was obviously time for new people to come out to play and the next victim entrant was Latom.  The whole of Detroit was rooting for the first of their native guys and gals to run the gauntlet of the pressure-dome as Chuck was starting to call it in his head.  After a quick rundown of the rules, Chuck nodded to Latom to start.

Rack 1 – The great thing about being the first from the city was no matter how badly you did, you were always guaranteed to be leading.  Zapata and DiegoCortez had shown this to be an effective tactic and it was one Latom was eager to replicate.  She got stuck in and her Detroit crowd were pretty encouraging but a return of two didn’t tell the whole story…those two were lucky to go in but the leaderboard didn’t comment on style.  A two was still a two.

Rack 2 – Sweaty hands?  Distracted by the crowd?  Latom only managed one basket.  No problem though…she still extended her lead over nobody!

Rack 3 – Now things started clicking into gear for Latom.  Three points and she was starting to get a little bit of momentum.  The crowd were getting excited with every basket.  Double figures were beckoning…neither Zapata nor Diego got that far with their first attempts.

Rack 4 – Feeding off the crowd, Latom kept things going pretty well.  A couple of misses didn’t dampen the crowd and the three baskets made, kept a smile on Latom’s face.  Win-ish win-ish!

Rack 5 – The last rack always made or broke a score…but for Latom a good rack could have propelled her into the realms of half-decent opening scores and that was a deviation from the Zapata Model of first city attempts.  Because of that, Latom only made one basket.  Nobody wanted a bagel on the last rack because that was just embarrassing.  Fine first attempt from Latom.  Up to the rest of Detroit to not let this be the winning score!

DT Leaderboard

1 – Latom 10 points

Next up on the Detroit rollercoaster was humuhumunukunukuapua, or humuhumu as he would now be called.  Having seen Latom’s efforts he figured, how hard could it be?  True…he was a fish…but rats and raccoons had already had a go so the lack of legs, arms and hands should be no barrier in this inclusive competition.  Chuck waited for DisembodiedHead to be a late entry!

Rack 1 – Well, humuhumu’s limtations were definitely not a hindrance.  Three fairly cracking baskets.  The crowd loved an underdog and were really getting behind humuhumu.

Rack 2 – Flappety flippers!  Is rack two the Detroit graveyard?  Like Latom, humuhumu struggled with this one.  Unlike Latom however, humuhumu did get a bagel.  Nothing, some of them barely made it up to hoop height!

Rack 3 – The shock of nothing in rack two jolted humuhumu into a little bit of life.  A good couple of baskets were excellently done and a third was pretty much there but bobbled out.  Quite unfortunate.

Rack 4 – humuhumu on a charge and the crowd exploded.  Three confident shots hopefully keeping humuhumu in the mix for a good finish!

Rack 5 - Latom sat back in the hotseat as humuhumu struggled with the last rack.  Unfortunately he only managed one basket.  A very good attempt for a fish and the crowd cheered him off the court.  humuhumu did still have a coupe of attempts he could make to catch Latom

DT Leaderboard
1 – Lotam 10 points
2 – humuhumunukunukuapuaa 9 points

Like buses, the third Detroit person looking to try their luck came along.  PureBloodedTexan confidently sauntered out of the crowd waving to the Detroit section.  Chuck quickly went through the rules and Latom shifted uneasily on the hotseat while PureBloodedTexan stood by the first rack.

Rack 1 – Good start to the contest from PureBloodedTexan.  Three points from the get go and like a real Texas gun slinger there was a buzz that he just wasn’t going to miss but something seemed to upset PureBloodedTexan.  He couldn’t put his finger on it but it made him miss his last two shots.

Rack 2 – The ruination of dreams?  Whatever bothered PureBloodedTexan at the end of rack one was in his head.  What a poor show.  No points at all.  He didn’t even have the excuse of a lack of hands that humuhumunukunukuapua had.  PureBloodedTexan hit himself around the head a little to get some juices going.

Rack 3 – Yee haa!  What a comeback in rack three.  Straight shooting from PureBloodedTexan.  Nothing but net!  Everything finishing with a swish and the crowd suddenly start whooping and hollering like they’re at a rodeo.

Rack 4 – Well, PureBloodedTexan is up and down like an incontinent granny during the night.  A zero followed by a five followed by a one.  Whatever juiced him up in rack three was down the toilet by rack four.  It was 50:50 whether he would beat Latom but because it was close, she started to take more of an interest!

Rack 5 – Like a drunk staggering home, PureBloodedTexan gets there…just!  Not pretty, not even particularly good…but just enough to be effective!  He pulls two baskets out of the bag…well technically he puts two baskets into the bag…well net…but let’s not get too technical with the commentary.  Latom stands up and leaves the hotseat warm for PureBloodedTexan to get comfortable on.  Let’s see how long this lasts.  His score is definitely beatable!

DT Leaderboard
1 – PureBloodedTexan 11 points
2 – Latom 10 points
3 – humuhumunukunukuapuaa 9 points

Meliodass stood up and signalled she was looking to try again to split or break the patriarchy dominating the top of Los Angeles’ standings.  As much as she respected harison and DiegoCortez, Chuck hoped she could draw on some custard energy to propel her efforts!  He considered licensing a sports custard as the official drink of his championships.  He nodded to Meliodass to get stuck in.

Rack 1 - Meliodass would need a fast start to have a chance of catching Diego, let alone harison so a two point rack was not an ideal start.  She had twenty other shots to make the seventeen points needed to lead.  It was probably not a source of comfort that eighteen was the highest score across all the cities and that a nineteen would be an amazing effort.

Rack 2 – There were only four shots Meliodass could miss over the last four racks and she missed three of them on the second rack so only scored two.  It would need to be a flawless finish to get the lead!

Rack 3 – A flawless finish meant only missing one shot from three racks.  Meliodass only managed one shot in rack three.  The crowd let out a sad sigh.  Maybe it had been too early in the day for Meliodass.

Rack 4 – This was better but another example of a good score once the pressure of getting the lead was gone.  Three points but even a full rack in the last wouldn’t take her past her previous score.

Rack 5 – Whoops!  By full rack, it was implied that a full rack of successful baskets was required, not a full rack of misses.  It was a pretty ugly set of attempts in all fairness.  It took a lot of luck for non-professionals to get a great run of scores and it wasn’t Meliodass’ day.  She still had one attempt to try her luck.

LA Leaderboard
1 – harison 18 points
2 – DiegoCortez 17 points
3 – Meliodass 13 points

As Humuhumunukunukuapua'a looked at his miserable performance, man only single digit score. But but, shouldn't he get a handicap benefit for actually having no hands at all? Yes it was clear rodents and all that played along, but at least they had actual limbs which allowed some ball control.

He looked at the referee mr Charles_Barkley and conveyed his thoughts telepathically since obviously humans do not understand the underwater language of coral fishies 

Latom had seen enough.  LongJohnSilver or whatever his name was needing pulled down a peg or two.  Losing was not an option and she liked how comfortable the hotseat was.  She got up, handed Chuck the entry fee and strode purposefully to the first rack.

Rack 1 – There was a lot to be said about practice.  Chuck was minded to pass on his thoughts on the matter to Latom after seeing her first rack.  Cold from sitting about for so long? Unaccustomed to having to come from behind?  The crowd sighed at each and every missed shot and it was EVERY shot missed!  Plenty of time to recover surely!

Rack 2 – A bit better from Latom.  Almost quite good in fact had one of the shots not bobbled about too much.  A solid two from that rack.  If she stuck at that and had a really good rack she could wrestle that city lead back.  All hope was not lost!

Rack 3 – Oh.  That wasn’t in the script.  It was supposed to be solid and good racks from here on in but just one point was a disappointment for Latom.  Not that you could tell from her face.  Was she happy?  Was she sad?  Chuck figured she could do the math in her head and she would need nine points from her two last racks to get back into the lead.

Rack 4 – Ach too bad.  Latom tried hard.  But in the end after huffing and puffing the little piggy house of PureBloodedTexan was not going to get blown down today.  Three points left an unassailable lead going into the last rack.  Chuck was sure she would rue racks one and three.

Rack 5 – What a nice finish.  Four out of five went sailing through, making it look very easy indeed but alack and alas, Latom was just a bit late to the good-looking three point party.  Matching her previous total was acceptable enough though

DT Leaderboard
1 – PureBloodedTexan 11 points
2 – Latom 10 points
3 – humuhumunukunukuapuaa 9 points

Chuck had no time to sit down as the normally silent Detroit crowd roused their favourite fishie into life.  humuhumunukunukuapua flapped his way over to the rack.

Rack 1 – Murmurs and rumours around the crowd were that humuhumu had been practicing lobbing little coral stones into open clam shells since his last appearance and boy did it seem to be working.  With a perfect score in the first rack, humuhumu would be in the driver’s seat if that didn’t mean he’d still be a fish out of water.

Rack 2 – Sticking with the total pressure on PureBloodedTexan, humuhumu managed three points.  Not all pretty but things were starting to heat up like a tropical tank.  Humuhumu was needing four points from three racks to get into the lead for the first time.

Rack 3 – All good things come to those who wait.  Humuhumu’s wait to get into the lead would continue.  A slightly fishy looking rack only yielded two points.  These contests usually went one of two ways at this point…inspiration at being so close to the lead and smashing it or folding abjectly and barely making it across the line if at all.  The crowd waited to see which dish they were getting tonight.

Rack 4 – No beans on toast for this crowd tonight.  It was taken out for a meal, some drinks, dancing and then a night cap…almost the full on humuhumu experience.  If only that last shot had made it in but four points were ideal and put him into the lead.

Rack 5 – Nothing left to say here but a celebration of all things humuhumu.  He could have let it rest after four and not really tried but not this plucky little fishie.  Three points and a big big lead.  Looking at the other cities, his total of seventeen was going to be a very tough score to beat!

DT Leaderboard
1 – humuhumunukunukuapuaa 17 points
2 – PureBloodedTexan 11 points
3 – Latom 10 points

After seeing the leaderboard Humu hums happily to himself and practice his victory swim, a quadripple backflip with a full corkscrew, some accelerated backfin strafes, a no look forward salto, and to top it off he high fives a pearl out of a nearby oyster and hands it over to mr Charles.

There sir, you can use it to add it to the ring of the victor for some bling bling

Still humming Humuhumunukunukuapua'a swims away into the oceans depth looking for a nice coral crevice to take a nice deserved nap

Attention swung back to the Windy City.  Long the hotliest contested city in staggered swaggered __________I_________ .  The feelings that Rick_Dalton and Elodin had maybe run away with things was starting to grate on __________I_________ and now was his time to shine.  He handed over three entry fees,  obviously not expecting to do well on attempts one and two.

Rack 1 - __________I_________ knew where the hoop was, that’s for sure.  A fine three points is a good start.

Rack 2 – Not so great for __________I_________.  One point.  There had been a couple of low scores in Chicago.  The first rack looked like a fluke as __________I_________’s technique was all over the place.

Rack 3 – Not great, truth be told.  __________I_________ almost got three points but the rub of the green was not on his side.  Two points.  __________I_________ had been wise to pay up all three attempts at once.

Rack 4 – Of the lowest scores in Chicago, Elodin had scored a seven and Master_Splinter an eight.  With the measly one point scored in the fourth rack, __________I_________ at least meant he wouldn’t have the lowest score of all even if it all went pear shaped in the fifth rack.  

Rack 5 – Chuck sighed, the crowd giggled.  At last that was over. The curse of Grin-07’s rack, __________I_________ scored another single point.  His grand total of eight was fairly abject but maybe unexpected by __________I_________.

Quick turnaround for attempt 2

Rack 1 - __________I_________ was quick off the mark and was bang, bang, bang, bang.  Four in a row with just the last ball bouncing off the rim.

Rack 2 - __________I_________ stuck at it.  Chasing down Rick_Dalton was going to take a consistent across all five racks so three points pointed to __________I_________ getting close.

Rack 3 – Another very good rack from __________I_________.  Four points!  This could get close to being very very good!

Rack 4 – Sometimes it pays to not voice the thoughts that pop into the head because it put a curse on __________I_________.  One solitary point and in one fell swoop…that was the challenge for the lead over.  To get to the top you have to bring you’re A game all day long!

Rack 5 – The hand of Grin-07 hovered over __________I_________ on his last rack.  It was almost as if Grin had cursed it since the vast majority of people (raccoons and rats) had scored only one point or none at all.  True to form, __________I_________ only scored the one point.  Thirteen points was better than the first but it all hinged on this last attempt.

__________I_________ ran back round to rack 1.  This was an object lesson in efficiency…taken out of the Lean Basketball philosophy invented by Takeshi Tamagotchi where muscle memory is used to  perfect repetitive tasks like three point shooting by moving from rack to rack quickly.

Rack 1 - __________I_________’s adoption of Tamagotchi principle 1 was exemplary.  Five fantastic points.  ‘Nuff said as the kids say Chuck thought.

Rack 2 – Tamagotchi allowed a drop in performance on 40% as long as there was a return quickly.  Here was the 40% drop.  A three point rack was acceptable.  Chuck could almost feel Tamagotchi’s presence giving __________I_________ a subtle nod.

Rack 3 – The key principle in Lean Basketball was a high level of fitness.  __________I_________ did not have that.  After twelve rapidly played racks everything was fizzling out.  A feeble two points came in the third rack.  It was not impossible for __________I_________ to get into the lead but would need a Herculean effort however that would mean switching to Hercules’ Three Point Principle Plan which was antithetical to Tamagotchi.  A quandry for __________I_________.

Rack 4 – Caught between a rock and a hard place, __________I_________ could do nothing but get squeezed like a soft grape.  One point was all he could muster and he still had to go to Grin-07’s cursed rack.

Rack 5 – Wooooooooo….scary Grin rack strikes again.  Uno!  Un!  One!  Sayonara, au revoir…here are your highlights…scores of eight, thirteen and twelve mean __________I_________ was not the worst.  Just average.

CH Leaderboard
1 – Rick_Dalton 16 points
2 – Elodin 16 points
3 – AidenPearce 13 points

Meliodass came back for her last attempt.  Lady luck had not been kind to her previous two attempts but all it needed was one super effort to dethrone harison.  She flexed and stretched looking to get herself in the zone.

Rack 1 - Meliodass needed a good fast start to make sure she wasn’t under a lot of pressure but it looked like she created her own pressure.  Two points and it needed to be more because it was going to be hard to get to the lead from here.

Rack 2 – One point was unfortunate but it was now not really likely to be Meliodass’ night.  She had done well taking part but three racks of five to finish were going to be very hard!

Rack 3 – And there it was.  The crowd tried their best to encourage Meliodass but another point and it was all over…unable to get the lead or even squeeze into second place.

Rack 4 – The crowd cheered every attempt Meliodass made but she only made two baskets.  It looked like the fight was drained from her but she still had a smile on her face despite not quite cracking the top two.

Rack 5 – Meliodass waved to the crowds despite finishing with another single point rack.  Her scores of 13, 8 and 7 were pretty unlucky.

LA Leaderboard
1 – harison 18 points
2 – DiegoCortez 17 points
3 – Meliodass 13 points

Mercury watched as Detroit showed up for the competition. They were putting on quite a show trying to one best each other. She was surprised when humuhumunukunukuapuaa dominated after the second attempt. She was sure Latom would prevail however Latom was in third. How disappointing. She watched as Meliodass gave it a valiant effort. This was getting exciting. She couldn't wait for Sisyphus to win this thing! She wondered where the side action for this was.

It seemed at this point no one else would dare to take Sisyphus on and he would glide into the competition as Philadelphia's best ball player. Not only did he know the most about the sport in the city-- far surpassing the knowledge of Ghus, but he was also becoming more and more adept at playing it as well.

Maybe it was time for him to go pro? Only time would tell. At this point he was completely confident that he wouldn't fall flat on his face once the finals begun, that would be preposterous. No, he was winning it all. Being humble was for fourth place finishers and those days were long behind him now.

"Finally, something I'm good at."

For the first attempt of the day, Chuck had to apologise to Elodin for his tardiness at arriving at the court.  The pro-raccoon section of the Chicago crowd erupted at seeing their hero arrive and wave to them.  The anti-Elodin faction, self-christened Anyone But Elodin booed and jeered.  Chuck nodded so he could start.

Rack 1 – Badoom badoom badoom…listening carefully everyone could hear Elodin’s tiny little raccoon heart beating loudly with the stress of performing in front of his enthusiastic mob but it didn’t show in his performance.  Elodin was on fire…he was really chasing Rick_Dalton.  Four stunning baskets.  The fifth one wasn’t close but this was the show of form that the Elodettes were loving.

Rack 2 – The second rack was another encouraging effort.  Consistency was always the key and Chuck maintained that was what would win this contest.  Elodin aimed at the basket and got another three points.  This unsettled the Anyone But Elodin brigade who were looking furtively around at Zapata for some inspiration.

Rack 3 – Out of the corner of Chuck’s eye he saw Zapata nod.  Three of the ABE brigade sitting courtsidereached under their seats and released squirrels onto the court.  This was outrageous.  Elodin begged to be allowed to have the court cleared but Chuck insisted he was not entitled to have a break.  Elodin struggled to get his shots away with any finesse in fact only making one of his attempts.

Rack 4 – Frantic efforts from Chuck’s minions to clear the squirrels were in vain.  The furry little critters evaded the grasping hands and continued to torment Elodin.  No baskets.  His challenge in tatters and there was starting to be some aggro in the crowd between the two factions.  Ugly scenes here at the Chicago qualifying!!

Rack 5 – It was Grin’s rack, the squirrels were all rounded up but truth be told, the damage was done when they were released.  Elodin looked visibly upset at the distraction and he only managed two baskets.  A final score of ten was poor reward for a fine start.  Chuck checked the rule book and there were no clauses  about the release of squirrels and there weren’t…obviously!  Who would have considered it?  He apologised to the little raccoon but the rules are the rules…or lack of rules.

CH Leaderboard
1 – Rick_Dalton 16 points
2 – Elodin 16 points
3 – AidenPearce 13 points

Saturday was a quiet day for Chuck fortunately.  His diary was quite empty so was looking to have a nice day with some churros and beers with his friends so he sat courtside and relaxed.  PureBloodedTexan  brought the Detroit crowd along to challenge @humuhumunukunukuapuaa.  He had looked pretty good with his first attempt and it had taken a fine effort from humuhumu to get ahead.  Chuck put the churros down and let PureBloodedTexan get started.

Rack 1 – Fast fast start for PureBloodedTexan.  A very good four points put the shivers into the humuhumu camp.  The margins were small at this level and failure could always be round the corner but PureBloodedTexan had a glint in his eye that meant business.

Rack 2 – Wowzers!  PureBloodedTexan got all five.  Goodness knows how it happened.  None of the shots looked like they would make it in but somehow the bounces all went PureBloodedTexan’s way.

Rack 3 – Still stacking and racking the points PureBloodedTexan pulled in another three points.  Humuhumu’s total was now really in sight but PureBloodedTexan would still need to keep going!

Rack 4 – Have the nerves and pressure started to get to PureBloodedTexan?  He only managed to get two baskets.  It’s still three points so the result still hung in the balance.

Rack 5 – Years in the Texan wilderness obviously cemented a will to battle and survive into PureBloodedTexan!  What a finish!  Four out of five and he cleared humuhumu’s total with the last basket.  All the pressure but you would never know from the muted celebration at the end.  @humuhumunukunukuapuaa still had another attempt to come so anything could yet happen!

DT Leaderboard
1 – PureBloodedTexan 18 points
2 - humuhumunukunukuapuaa 17 points
3 – Latom 10 points

Chicago-time for possibly the last time saw the persistent OldBumMaggy.  Chuck had asked her to put some clothes on and she’d refused so Chuckster insisted she wait until there were no children around to scar!

Chuck nodded for her to get on with it.

Rack 1 – The rippling around Maggy’s knee warmers was hypnotic but Chuck had to pay attention to what was going on.  Maggy only managed one point.  Her boobs flapping against her knees and looking to drag her arms down making it difficult to make the shot.

Rack 2 – Chuck sent one of his minions out to get a sports bra.  Not just for the poor eyes of the crowd but he did want Maggy to have a good shot.  He was all about the equal opportunities and hoped she’d do well.  The second rack was little better.  She managed to drag two point out of it but nothing about Maggy or her technique was pretty.

Rack 3 – No sports bra yet and few points.  Another two points.  She was never going to make it to the lead with this effort but she was allowed another two.  Probably for the best!

Rack 4 – Ernie arrived with the sports bra.  It was a three man effort folding and pushing the saggy boobs into each cup but what a difference.  Four points and not a million miles from the fifth.  Sports bras for the win, even if it isn’t Maggy for the win at the moment!

Rack 5 – Fair effort from Maggs.  Three final points giving her twelve in total.  Chuck sighed.  How would she have done had she listened to him at the start.

Chuck shuffled her round for attempt 2

Rack 1 – Sports bra in hand, well not in hand but attached…was working well.  A four point effort to start with and the assault on the top rather than the crowd’s eyes was in full swing…unlike the saggy knee warmers.  The crowd were pleased!

Rack 2 – “Adjustment!  Adjustment!” came the shout.  The hastily arranged and poorly fitted support system let the spectators and OldBumMaggy down.  The collapse of both the bra and Maggy’s effort meant she only managed one point.  If old-fogey indignation had a dew point, the loss of boob support was a good starting point.

Rack 3 – Repairs on the fly allied to Maggy’s cantankerous demeanour awoke something inside her…smoking each and every shot like she was knitting a scarf…knit one, purl one…she never dropped a stitch and here there were no points dropped.  Proper old bum style!

Rack 4 – The secret about old people is they had lived a whole life, nothing could phase them…they knew that everything generally worked out in the end.  With that attitude Maggy was golden, she was going to smack Rick_Dalton down take on the world.  The other thing about old people is they get tired easily and after three great shots the crowd could see the shoulders sag more than the boobs.  It was going to be a struggle to get there now!

Rack 5 – The Grin-07 special!  In with a shot and the rack of doom sends its regards!  Nothing.  No points.  A hand in the empty packet of Werthers Originals, unfulfilled and full of annoyance.  Old person rage filled Maggy once more.  Thirteen points was a slight improvement though!

The AARP rep brought out their own rulebook and apparently over-working old fogeys was not an acceptable thing to be doing so Chuck gave Maggy a few minutes to grab her breath before starting her final attempt.

Rack 1 – Golly gosh.  What a start!  Rick_Dalton must be quivering!  Five shots in a row again!  Shame it’s not in the same attempt as the last one.  Good going though!  Let’s have the plucky old broad put up a fight!

Rack 2 – Fourteen points from four racks, just over three per rack.  Easy?  Like an old pro, Maggy puts three away with ease.  It would be a long slog but who knows.  Maybe she has the stamina to pull it off.

Rack 3 – Chuck wondered whether the lack of clothing was because she didn’t have the energy to actually put anything on.  She certainly didn’t seem to have the energy to do well at this anymore.  One point and her challenge started to tail off.  It would take two full racks of baskets to get her into the lead.

Rack 4 – Barely able to lift the ball over her head, the AARP rep again complained to Chuck so he let her sit down.  When she got up again she only managed one point so that was it.  No chance of qualifying out of Chicago.  Just the final rack to go.

Rack 5 – With one last hurrah and some encouragement from the crowd, Maggy somehow managed to get three baskets.  This had been hard going for her but another 13 points was certainly better than some younger entrants.  All hail Saggy Maggy!

CH Leaderboard
1 – Rick_Dalton 16 points
2 – Elodin 16 points
3 – AidenPearce 13 points

The final attempt of the entire qualification came down to big boss fancy pants, West the godfather of basketball city.  Several of the other Seattle competitors rushed to surround Chuck

“Has he forced you to do something to fix this?”
“I’m seeking legal action if West goes through and it even looks slightly fishy.”
“Have you been coaching him?”

Chuck calmed them all down.

“Let it be, let it be.  He’s paid for two entries.  He can’t be that confident about his chances.”

He nodded for West to start.

Rack 1 – Fast start.  The coaching that Chuck hadn’t given West was going well.  West hit four out of five with the fifth one missing to the right side.

Rack 2- West pulled a compass out of his pocket, set himself up and adjusted his feet based on missing to the right side.  He tried one shot and missed to the left side.  West readjusted into the middle and then hit his last four shots.  Halfway there, still some way to go but he was sticking at it.  Chuck started getting nervous that people were starting to think he was up to something.

Rack 3 – Once you get West on dry land he starts to lose his sea legs and in the third rack he started to wobble.  Two half decent shots and the other three were pretty ineffective.  The likes of Zahara, MezzaninE and Nipsey swayed backwards and forwards to put West off and it was working.  Zahara was looking nervous.  West only needed seven points.

Rack 4 – The crowd burst into “What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailor” as West eyed up every shot on the fourth rack.  The noise was phenomenal, lucky Chuck didn’t have to think about what he was doing and concentrate.  Two buckets was all West could manage.  Not brilliant but he still had a chance!  It would need to be each of rack five though.

Rack 5 – Ewww.  In a concerted effort at distraction, Right and Nipsey turned and mooned West as he threw his first shot.  More and more people mooned West on each shot.  He missed them all.  Zahara was safe at the top.  Twelve points was better than his first but still not good enough.  He had one last chance.

Chuck rushed West back round to the first rack.

Rack 1 – The sight of Right’s bumhole was obviously still traumatising West.  He only managed two points.  Uphill from here to get the lead.  Fifteen points from four racks.  More in four than he’d ever managed from five.

Rack 2 – Chuck chuckled while West threw down all five with a flourish.  If he was going to go down it would be pushing as hard as he could.  Seven down, ten to get.

Rack 3 – The five in the last rack had helped his cause and although a two in this one wasn’t brilliant over the two he was still on track for the win. Nine down, eight to get.

Rack 4 – Oooh, was the wobble happening again?  Four would have been great and three was ok.  It was going to take another epic rack at the end to get the lead.  First, West had some housekeeping done and requested that the disruptive Right, Nipsey and Zahara were removed.

Rack 5 – Close-ish but not quite close enough to be close but no cigar.  West the Hopeful became West the hopeless fairly quickly and only ended up with two points.

SEA Leaderboard
1 – Zahara 16 points
2 – Right 14 points
3 – MezzaninE 14 points.

Ladies, gentlemen, rats, raccoons and fish.  Thank you all so much for your participation in these, the first annual NBA Championships for mobsters.  I’d like to take you through the final standings for each city so appropriate kudos or abuse can be meted out to each and every one of them.

Chicago Results

1 - @Rick Dalton 16 points, Elodin 16 points
3 - AidenPearce, Master_Splinter, OldBumMaggy, Grin-07, __________I_________ 13 points
8 - Zapata 12 points

Qualifiers

Rick_Dalton          Elodin

Philadelphia Results

1 – Sisyphus 18 points
2 - JimmyTheWeed 16 points
3 - Ghus 14 points
4 - Mercury, Evening 13 points
6 - Vulcan 9 points
7 - Aang 8 points

Qualifiers

Sisyphus          JimmyTheWeed

Detroit Results

1 - PureBloodedTexan 18 points
2 - humuhumunukunukuapua 17 points
3 - Latom 10 points

Qualifiers

PureBloodedTexan          humuhumunukunukuapua

Seattle Results

1 - Zahara 16 points
2 - Right, MezzaninE 14 points
4 - Nipsey, West 13 points

Qualifiers

Zahara          MezzaninE

Right and MezzaninE had a free throw play-off to determine who else gets to represent Seattle.  Right managed one free throw of the three and MezzaninE was successful with all three free throws.

LA Results

Unfortunately due to the recent removal of Los Angeles, none of the city’s representatives harison, DiegoCortez and Meliodass will be available to continue in the competition.  The organising committee would like to put on record their thanks for them being involved and if the next of kin of harison and DiegoCortez are happy to make themselves known, any prize money for their competition efforts will be paid.

National Final

The next round of the contest will take the form of a series of 1v1 contests.  The four pairings for this are as follows:

The winners of these contests play each other in the next round

Rick_Dalton v JimmyTheWeed

PureBloodedTexan v MezzaninE

The winners of these contests play each other in the next round

Sisyphus v humuhumunukunukuapua

Zahara v Elodin

I will approach all eight competitors in the coming days to explain and arrange the next stage.