Not being able to withstand the agony any longer Constipation knew he had to find a place to express his dysfunctionalities. He was wondering since mental impairment was not one of his dysfunctions if he found the ideal place to scream what ails him. What the hell he thinks, this is close enough. 

He shouts, "This gastrointestinal dysfunction sucks!" 

Within seconds his stomach was gurgling. Could it be? He rushes back to his thrown. A loud roar echoed throughout the room. Ahhh YES finally.

I am pleased to announce I am no longer constipated today.  

I'd spray this room down before entering. And one last thought, I passed my last eye exam, and I can assure you no such hogwash came from the desk of the great Lincoln_Laywer. 

Yes Fuckweasle, I can wholeheartedly and most assuredly confirm that I did not send that Telegram as quoted by you, so if you were to have one of your inbred, halfwit, jizz monkeys in my crew, they are feeding you your own shit. That being said, if I do happen to have one of your inbred, halfwit, jizz monkeys in my crew, then that person will be afforded the same rights and privileges and protections as every other member of my crew until such times as they exclude themselves from said privileges and protections by being a raving douche-cucumber like yourself. 

Lincoln_Lawyer - just so that we are clear, it is acceptable for members of your crew to forward telegrams sent by you to people from other crews?  Even when said telegram is full of slander and innuendo about CLO?

Your colourful use of language doesn't mask the fact that at least one member of your crew arranged for the petrol-bombing of your HQ, and the murder of your friend. 

Oh, I just noticed you are actually denying sending the Telegram.  Here it is for everyone to see.

You're lying.  

Ask Lincoln_Lawyer if it's a fake, Bulma

Well if you insist on acting like a churl you crooked-nosed knave, lets examine some shit shall we? Firstly, you are still saying I sent that telegram, something I have already repudiated. Secondly, if I had sent it, you have provided no proof that it was in fact forwarded to you from a member of my crew. Thirdly, you aren't even in a crew, you aren't even the skid mark in the toilet that Constipated just shit-bombed into oblivion.  Fourthly, Slander is for the spoken word, not the written word, so it is not slander if it was sent in a telegram. Fifthly, libel, the term you searched for yet failed to find, applies to a published false statement that is damaging to a person's reputation, as this alleged statement was supposedly sent in a private mail and not published it is in fact not libel. If anyone is slanderous or libellous it is you for publicly declaring that CLO is a drunkard and claiming that two men of honour from the city of Chicago made these comments. Sixthly, my colourful use of language proves only that you are a cox-comb, a doxy, a glos pautonnier and a skamelar. 

And finally, no one in my family arranged the death of anyone, least of all a friend, nor did they arrange to have my front door scorched. I've heard it said that Heston causes more damage with his kitchen Blowtorch than your mother did with that so-called petrol bomb.

Lincoln_Lawyer - only the frightened lie, and your entire crew, who received the telegram I published, now see you as a frightened man.

It was a telegram sent by you, to your crew.  Therefore, it can only have come from someone within your crew.

These are the only two points of interest.

You sent the telegram.  One, or more, members of your crew ensured it ended up with me/Alanis.

Yep, just keep singing that song, perhaps someday people will believe you... actually no, they probably won't. I like how your alleged proof is nicely framed and clipped to hide anything that would prove you wrong

I opted not to leave a passcode to a logbook containing records of all of your crew member's performances at the gun-club, Lincoln_Lawyer.

But every single member of your crew listening to his will know that.  

If you look at this photograph of the Telegram, you'll see, at the bottom right hand side, written evidence that it originated from Lincoln_Lawyer.

Oh dear, Lincoln_Lawyer.  For the record, Colubo is not Neil.

You've already proven you are adept at the manipulation of images, so why would this prove anything, perhaps I should start releasing proof of the telegrams that you send me? Like this one here? Honestly Alanis, you need help, I don't even know what a Star Trek is...

Bulma still sees only copies and not full images and loses interest.. Shaking her head she walks back to the pub thinking to herself "strange little fellow"

And what exactly is your point here Alanis? What do you hope to prove with this Telegram that you say I sent? 

Bulma, I will gladly give a full picture right here. 

I'm just proving that Lincoln_Lawyer is a liar, a coward, and that I have numerous people in his crew and city feeding me information.

In public, and in private.  

Nudges Lincoln_Lawyer and nods towards the pub.

"How about a drink? This fellow isn't getting anywhere and it appears nobody in your crew is with him, nobody is actually backing up his story with new proof, so let's just get a beer and wait untill they fabricate some new stuff we can laugh about"

Bulma, what other proof do you actually require?  The first person who sent me the telegram is a secret operative within Lincoln's crew, so clearly I'm not going to out him or her.

Colubo, quite bravely, provided full proof.  That's two sources that have confirmed that Lincoln sent this telegram.

The entire city of Chicago received it.

Mickey pauses for a second and then nods.

"You know what Bulma, that is the best suggestion I have heard all day. As always with the Kuku-ites, you go round and round in circles without achieving anything. At least now one of them has outted themselves. Any preferences to a locale?"

Mickey takes out his trademark Morleys^TM and lights one before offering them to Bulma.