PlagueGuy made his way out into the middle of the streets, a large ballot-box in his hands. Balancing on top was a pedestal of sorts, and slung over his shoulder was a small folding chair. He managed to stumble over a somewhat-empty intersection before finally tripping and falling to the ground. He quickly stood himself up, set out the ballot-box, and propped up the chair. Stepping onto the pedestal, he ushered over a crowd and began to speak.

"I feel this occasion is long overdue. Something must be done about this current matter, and quickly too. We need a definitive, conclusive, majority decision on such a pressing issue, and we need it now."

"When the italians first arrived here at the beginning of this century, they brought with them a delicacy our country shamefully pushed away in the beginning. We desecrated the direct heritage of some of those in our lives. Since then, however, we have welcomed pizza into our lives and livelihood, dotted with all sorts of toppings and flavors."

"However, out of that herd came a very specific topping. We may all be equally in the same thing of ours, but no topping such as this has divided an entire populace more than a specific yellow and pokey fruit. Pineapple. A spine of the fruit collection, fresh from the Brazillion rainforests. One might say it's a rich man's fruit. The idea of pizza, and our connections with it, are defined by this rather divisive shrub plant."

PlagueGuy shifted over and pulled out two stacks of cards, placing them side by side. On one side, in massive, bolded-black lettering, the cards read:

YEA

and the other:

NAY

Seems he fished them out of a congressional building.

"Never have I seen more support for and against something than of pineapple, and specifically as a topping. Favoritism and usage outside of pizza, I'll leave for another debate. This one, however, is rather specific. I will ask one question all of you must answer with a vote and specific reasoning. If someone says something you disagree with, absolutely demolish their reasoning with your own. If someone says something you agree with, call them out with a round of applause and support. Rally your partners and isolate your opponents. This is a vote of utter importance, and must be decided immediately."

This vote will determine the value, importance, and permanent authority of your opinion. I suggest you fight for it.

Those in favor of pineapple shall no longer be mocked or taunted for their love of the fruit. Pineapple will forever become a legitimate and official topping choice for all pizzas until the end of time. They shall have the power to send pineapple pizza to anyone they desire. If the receiver does not like pineapple pizza, they still must eat it, and they must eat it completely.

Those against pineapple will be officially certified as having the "correct" opinion. Pineapple will no longer be a displayed topping that can be added to pizza; one must ask for it as a special order. Anyone may mock, taunt, and publicly shame those who enjoy pineapple with no consequence, and they will always be right until the end of time. They will attain a special right to immediately find any person enjoying pineapple pizza, pick off the pineapple, and stomp it into the ground, shit on it, chuck it into the trash, or any other action they feel is acceptable.

The question is as follows, assuming one can modify the pizza to their specific liking, style, toppings, etc:

Is pineapple a topping acceptable for pizza?

"I will begin the debate by voting NAY."

"Pineapple is absolutely revolting, disgusting, and downright shameful. You completely corrupt and destroy any flavor combinations you have on pizza by adding a goddamn fruit to it, let alone pineapple. The spiciness of sausage or pepperoni? Gone. The crunchiness of your crust? Gone. I'm sorry, but I don't need a goddamn juicy fruit to moisten my bread before I eat it. Not to mention adding in this wacky and stupid tangy flavor that just overshadows anything you put on the pizza. It's better off in the trash than in my stomach. Screw your pineapple!"

Votes and names will be tallied, collected, and announced on April 27, 00:00.

I will be happy to hitlist anyone publicly agreeing to this thesis by a $1,000,000 bounty.

With that said, the silk-wooly cama walked off

Dick was walking the streets, his nether regions burned like fire from the herpes he got from vday but he was happy about it as he had finally "Caught them all" but when he heard about the vote for pineapple on pizza his jaw hit the floor. This just would not do so he walked up to the soapboax scratching and burning til he stood on it and he began to speak

" NAY! the self proclaimed culinary pope decree's this a mortal culinary sin, on par with grapes on taco's or tomatoes in clam chowder, pineapple pizza's must be tossed in the garbage along side my pride" he coughed a few times before continuing " i hereby declare a crusade against the abomination that is pineapple on pizza"

he ran off the soapbox before he could finish his answer, a doctor hell bent on getting him checked was hot on his heels and he wanted to keep his collection of std's. just as fast as he appeared he was gone.

It has been discussed that pineapple would make a good cock ring. TildaTrumbauer is working on the copyrights for the new pineapple game. 

As Tilda finishes her joint containing the strain Pineapple Express, she could hear some commotion down the way. She made her way to the crowd and realized it was surely about what she thought... precious Pineapple!!!!!! So sweet, and juicy. Bringing out the flavors of food and genitals all around!!! As she listens to everyone else's opinions to finish she clears her throat and takes her turn

Yay! would be my vote! Pineapple compliments the pizza. Now, my opinion may be biased as I only tend to eat or make a specific kind. Having it with sausage and pepperoni would be repulsive!! 

Tilda lights herself another joint, grabs her rum and heads to the copyright office to get some work finished. 

Heston is taking an afternoon stroll through the streets and happens to overhear a conversation deciding that he was passionate about this topic decided to weigh in and express his thoughts 

"NAY I mean what the fuck who the fuck would actually put pineapple on a pizza???? It is disgusting there is nothing more that really needs to be said"

With the look of absolute disgust on his face and a slightly upset stomach Heston walks off  

West sits listening to whats PlagueGuy has to say. Knowing from the moment he heard what this all was about, West knew what his answer was going to be. This is the debate to end all debates. It is of the utmost importance and this will be a turning point in history. Walking directly up to the stacks of cards West grabs the one that is the correct answer. Looking down he reads it out loud.

NAY

"This is the only correct choice. There are many uses for pineapple while cooking, even in the bedroom. However, on pizza it is fucking trash. Actually that's disrespectful to trash everywhere. It should never ruin such a amazing delicasy like pizza. I knew of someone that claimed to llike pineapple, artichoke, and some other topping on their pizza. Which said enough about who they were as a human being and safe to say we are dead to each other. Pineapple on pizza, pfft." West spits on the ground after having placed his ballot in the box.

A half-soaked Oshae lazyily praded down the paths of Chicago, bumping into almost everyone he walked past. Upon stopping to take a swig from his empty bottle of beer he heard a huge debate. After taking a few moments to listen to the bystanders he burst in into the conversation

"Wh-..what the actual fuck. This can't be a real debate!? "A small intruption of burps stops Oshae from speaking he rasies his right fist in the air before shouting

                                                                                      "NAY"

This is an easy YEA for me. Pizza is a vehicle for a wide variety of toppings and cheeses. If you start limiting what kind of toppings are and aren't allowed you're really hindering the entire communities ability to try new things with their pizzas. 

Vote YEA for pizza freedom. 

Ignore the NAY sayers and their empty threats. They don't have an appetite for justice.

His jaw dropped hearing all the different voices saying nah. Just wow. He thought to himself before thinking a moment and smiling. 

"I would have to say YAY for this, sweet is always good." 

NoahRugs typically did more listening than speaking on the streets, constantly walking the streets and taking in different opinions. Even he couldn't just sit by, idle, when such a complex and important issue is raised. He steps a little closer to the crowd, clears his throat.

"Hell no, pineapples shouldn't be in the same building that a pizza is being made in".

He steps away, knowing deep down, he is on the right side of this one.

Selena was minding her business on the streets til she noticed someone rambling on about pineapple belonging on pizza, which made her cringe as she than begins to wonder who would commit such an atrocity and put pineapple on pizza.

"I'm sorry but it's gonna be a no I don't think pineapple belongs on pizza,but than again everyone is entitled to like whatever they like and even if it's pineapple pizza."

As Selena turns around disappearing back into the shadows.

Vladimir had just walked out of the local pizza shop on Main Street. With a large pie in one had, he carried a fresh pineapple in the cradle of his other. He was ecstatic to get back to his place to chop and put some on his pizza. He had to do this because the Italian owner wouldn't put the delicious fruit on the pizza himself. So Vlad ordered a ham, and bacon pie and then he would place the pineapple on himself. He didn't quite understand why the owner wouldn't do the pineapple but Vlad loved the superior flavor that the pineapple gave to the pizza. Ironically enough, he found PlagueGuy in the streets discussing just this dilemma. With a divided crowd around him, you'd thought there was about to be a massive brawl. He placed his pizza on top of a nearby mailbox to try to settle the dispute.

"Comrades... relax. Take it easy."

You would have thought Vladimir had walked up and insulted everyone's mother with the looks that proceeded his calming comments.

"Why are so many of you so distraught over pineapple? Pineapple is such a delicious fruit and its even the mark for swingers, not the mark of the Devil like many of you think.

As he said that about the mark of swingers, many of the upset comrades looked at each other and grinned slightly.

"Pineapple is about love and happiness and some of you need it right now. Pineapple belongs everywhere and even more importantly, it belongs on mother fucking pizza. It is like the final paint stroke for one of van Gogh's masterpieces. Its like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle... it just fits. Pineapple fits and belongs on a gorgeous looking pie. Its a YEA for me. I encourage all you angry comrades to try it."

Joseph had spent some time listening to the others. Some had valid opinions while others clearly must believe the earth is flat. He had a few sips of whiskey and decided to step up to the plate.  

"I am here to say this now. Pineapple belongs in alcoholic beverages, kids drinks and trash cans." 

Joseph took a sip from his flask. 

"Yes you heard me right trash cans. Who in their right mind would think a pineapple can go on something as glorious as pizza? You should be ashamed for even thinking of it as an option. Come on now lets get real here. No pineapple near any pizza unless there is vodka present and the pineapple is in the drink.  

Joseph takes a step back

"I rest my case." 

Circle-of-Fire was passing the main street and saw a lot of people gathering and discussing. Curious as she was, she went to the crowd and first listened to a few reasonings. 

She saw her Right Hand Grace standing there too and asked her what the problem seems to be.

"There is no problem, the people are discussing whether pineapple belongs on a pizza or not".

Circle-of-Fire thought about the last pizza she ordered at the Pizza shop. She had a Pizza Hawaii and that contained pineapple. She loved it.

"If you leave out the pineapple, you dont have a Pizza Hawaii right?", she asked Grace. "I vote that pineapple should stay on a pizza. You dont like it, dont order a Pizza Hawaii".  

She took up the note to vote and wrote on it:

YEA

This debate made her hungry and she went over to the nearest Pizzeria and ordered a Pizza Hawaii.

After a short amount of consideration and almost no thought at all I am proud to announce the Big Pineapple Pizza club. The Big PP club is for like minded people who think that pineapple is a fine topping for pizza. 

If you're interested in the Big PP club feel free to drop by my office, or just announce your support here. Together we can make the world a more delicious place. 

Dr_KennethNoisewater

If you start limiting what kind of toppings are and aren't allowed you're really hindering the entire communities ability to try new things with 

their pizzas.

PlagueGuy chuckled, both at the response and the massive conversation taking hold.

"I am all for topping combinations. Bacon and sausage? Never been something better. Ham and jalapeno? Go for it if you want."

He gritted his teeth before speaking through them.

"The problem here...is that pineapple does not belong in ANY combination, let alone as something as delicate as pizza. You're coming out here to completely ruin the spiciness of sausages, pepperoni, or peppers. If you like saltier foods, you're completely overshadowing that with a gross, overly-chewy tangy fruit. You can't do that!"

"You talk about the Big PP club for Pineapple Pizza? I'll bring to you my own big PP club, the Pineapple Pulverizers. Thanks for bringing that pineapple over, Vladimir, cause I'm gonna have to start using it to beat some people here!"

THE CURRENT VOTE TALLY IS AS FOLLOWS

Margin of Error: 1 Vote

YEAS: 5

NAYS: 9

Franklin's belly was growling louder and louder...He hadn't eaten all day. 

*RUMBLE* *RUMBLE* *RUMBLE*

"If I don't eat something quick, I think I'll lose my shit", thought Franklin. "I need something with flavor...something with a nice tang to it, yeah. sweet but hot and cheese to top it off.".

Franklin looked around him. What he saw in front of him was everything he was hoping for, Sal's Pizzeria and no line! Franklin darted across the street, he didn't stop until he reached the pizzeria. He went straight to the counter, "Let me get a large pie...with pineapple, that'll hit the spot", said Franklin.

The kid behind the counter gave Franklin a grin, "Ah...one of those guys". "You're damn right, if it don't got pineapple on it...I don't want it", said Franklin calmly.

YEA

The problem here...is that pineapple does not belong in ANY combination

Dr_Kenneth scoffs. I didn't realize we had pizza fascists here in America! You can't oppress pineapple. It deserves to be a topping just like everything else! 

You don't need to be salty all the time my friend. You gotta branch out sometimes. 

Terrah watched the debacle that was the Pineapple Express of debates.  She had to laugh at PlagueGuy's first statement of fruit not belonging on pizza. As she wondered if he realized tomatoes which was the  classic pizzas main ingredient was actually a fruit as well.  So, yes indeed fruit did belong on pizza.  Yet, this was not about the red round juicy fruit that people once thought of as poisonous just because it was red.  This was about the most delicious spiky fruit ever grown. The majestic pineapple with its crown of spiky leaves and regal gown of near triangular spikes. The spikiest of all fruits!!! Oh how she loved pineapple.  After the others had finished their rabble she spoke up and added her own.

"Pineapple is indeed a majestic fruit both sweet and tangy. Not many fruits can make this claim. It is what gives the pineapple its regal position among fruits. The fruit of all fruits. As much as I love pineapple. Terrah shakes her head with a disgusted look on her face. Pineapple just does not belong on pizza, or ham for that matter but that ham  is a different story. Pineapple with it's glorious sweet and tangy flavor is best left for a Pina Colada or some divine dessert.  My vote is a NAY for pineapple on Pizza." 

With that she left the scene with thoughts of a nice pineapple Italian ice.