Untrue, Bugs, I regularly employ the competition commission to oversee vital decisions in my life, such as whether to go vegan or to worship Satan. And they do it for free. How do you explain that? 

Thanks for confirming that the Competition Commission is real Stan_S_Stanman. You are a well respected individual and your words carry much weight. 

I'm not sure why anyone, like Bugs, would falsely claim that the Competition Commission isn't real. This is an attack on the entire community who rely on the CC everyday for good, honest and wholesome fun. Bugs' obsession with Word_Smith has grown to an extremely unhealth level that they are attempted to commit mail fraud now. 

This just isn't good for anyone. I will be writing a letter to the Competition Commission so they can help direct us forward. These certainly are unprecedented times.  

Victoria came back, assuming she had previously left, or perhaps she had never been here. Time was weird, strange, wibbly wobbly. When stuff happened, it went ding. 

But she was here, listening to Wellerman who had a much nicer to say name than some people she knew. But that was not the point. She had a point, she'd figure it out eventually, right? 

"Gentlemen, and," Victoria paused and looked around before shrugging because it seemed honestly too much effort to truly take stock in who she was addressing so instead decided to change tactics, "Former zygotes of the world, I am here to sing the praises of myse..." Victoria paused and looked at her notes, eyes narrowing. "no, apologies. The Competition Commission." she said dryly. 

"Honestly, I should have read this before agreeing to come here, but times are hard in Los Angeles these days and the burial cost of a good Bodyguard is astronomical." 

Clearing her throat she said, "The Competition Commission is truly an organization. One that contains people, places and perhaps even things." nodding her head with an expression of sage wisdom on her face, hopefully not constipation again, she then carried on. "Ah yes, a collective of  who, what, where, why and more importantly..." she paused and her tone switched to one of exaggerated exasperation, "How?" 

Looking at the notes again she rolled her eyes, tossed them to the side. "And with that said that's why you should vote for me as the next ruler of these streets, for look at how long I have spoken without saying much of anything although you were quite amused, I assure you." flinging a hand in the direction of someone, anyone really, "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?" Victoria demanded before curtsying politely to everyone not even sure what the fuck she had come out to the streets to say in the first place, but pleased that she had once again managed to say something so very interesting and long.

Thank you very much for your lovely and not at all forced statement Victoria. Your paycheck is in the mail.

Make sure you get those Leaflets filled out and submitted. Every vote counts, usually.... 

"Word_Smith after performing several blood sacrifices in the form of pesky rodents that I found crawling around my living quarters in the basement of the 'The Forest HQ', I managed to set up a line of communication with the Competition Commission through the occult powers of an ouija board."

"I'm convinced this is also how Stan_S_Satanman Stan_S_Stanman has managed to keep in contact with them, seeing how the identity of the members of the CC is a well kept secret."

"Though it took me a while to decipher what it was trying to tell me (since I had never used an ouija board before), eventually it spit out the following question: 'When are the 22nd Annual Awards going to be awarded?'. So, when would that be?"

I felt it necessary, Wellerman, the sooner we move on from the Wild West era of competition running, the sooner we put an end to the senseless bloodshed that marks every attempt at a friendly contest since before any of us can remember. I haven't yet lived in a world where a competition reaches its conclusion without families being torn apart; sons growing up without fathers, nieces growing up without uncles, grandchildren growing up with no one to call some ridiculous Middle American term for grandfather like peepaw or pop-pop. But one day I will, and it will be because of the Competition Commission. 

Void, I've been reaching them via dead drop. I established contact by spreading rumors of several fake competitions I never intend to run. 

I always knew you were a genius Stan_S_Stanman. That is the type of forward thinking I'd expect from a typical Competition Commission supporter. 

We just have to rely on the hard facts. The Competition Commission is here to stay, mostly thanks to its many, many supporters. The era dangerous competitions is behind us and the CC will light the way to a better future for all of us. Pap-paws and Meemaws everywhere will be rejoicing with their families and those grandkids will know that the CC is keeping them safe. 

"Why don't you take this leaflet and shove it up your....!!!!"

Was all Daddy heard as she exited the taxi cab. Wow, welcome home to me. She said to herself with an eye roll. That man was lucky he wasn't 10 feet closer, whatever he was waving about could have poked her eye out. It's okay though, Daddy would have just karate chopped him in the neck. 

After collecting her bag from the cab's trunk, Daddy paused on the walk. She'd meant to go straight to her boss' hq as Cheetara had been expecting her. Daddy was the ever aloof, never around, free loading member anyone had probably had ever. Though, she did turn quite a profit overseas which she did send back home to her boss to make up for the never being there part.

However, something was pulling her towards whatever gathering the angry shouting man waving around something was at. Daddy sighed, knowing her curiosity was going to win. She slung her bag over her shoulder in like the most fashionable way ever and got to it. 

As she made her way through the growing crowed, Daddy had somehow acquired one of the leaflets everyone was clashing about. She heard whispers about how this was a ceremony with no violence??? How would that even be possible. How boring. When she made it to the front of the loitering folks it all became clear. There stood the one and only Word_Smith. Of course.

The man was a legend among legends. One could put his lineages name into every category of the leaflet and then pencil in some more. He had done much for the world we live in for a plethora of years, bringing entertainment and smiles to all. His voice was like an angel. A goddamned angel sent from the heavens to grace us with his light and his words. The man should be PRAISED! Anyone thinking otherwise was absolutely not in tune with the vibrations of reality. 

Like, who was this Victoria so and so going on about something something Word_Smith's words hurting her ears? Was she not in this life of crime? If her ears hurt at the soft gentle voice of the man standing in front of them what was a gun shot or a car back firing going to do to her? Damn, maybe she should find a new profession. Maybe retire to Florida. Daddy rolled her eyes. She simply looked at the frail women and said:

Okay, magic the gathering. 

We gave a significant donation to Boyson as he's new to our way of life and have helped numerous others.

BOYSON heard his name being mentioned but didn't know why or how? Thus he went searching for clarity.

"I don't mean to be rude or anything... But which 'significant donation'? And who is 'We'?

Left clueless, he hoped someone will provide him with some clarification.

"Hello Boyson, my accountant has this paperwork:

Sep 08, '22 12:16:52

You bought the Timers Package (30 Days) for BOYSON.

Shocked by the paperwork shown to him, BOYSON immediately ordered his accountant to check the books. After some digging, the accountant was able to find evidence of the transaction being made.

"How could you have missed this?" BOYSON asked his accountant calmly. "Now get out of my sights. I will deal with you later."

As the accountant retreats, BOYSON turned to Word_Smith.

"I apologize that I missed it. And I appreciate the help your predecessor offered, Thank you."

I've sent in my list, Please contact me for my compensation. 

Victoria emerged from the shadows she had slunk into and started clapping, slowly at first and then speeding up every three or four commections of her palms. "Well done, TheBeast." Victoria said to him. "I've watched you struggle with speaking, but it seems that now you've finally managed how to properly request free money. Proud of you, buddy!" Victoria said before slipping back into the shadows for the next opportunity to make an excellent joke would appear. 

"It wasn't exactly 'free' Victoria" TheBeast said. "I earned it" 

From the shadows Victoria was nodding her head while the man spoke. After a moment she realized surely he would not be able to see her signal of agreement so Victoria said, "Indeed and I can not wait to see what brilliant insights great minds such as yourself have provided." 

"Hmmm" TheBeast said, "I can't wait to get my compensation as well. We'll see if that's forthcoming or not."