Listen up, men.

My team has been assigned to ref the Streets.

I want a clean game and I don't want any back talk - I am NOT AFRAID to hand out ejections. Do not test me. Keep your language clean. I don't want to hear anything you wouldn't say to your mama. 

I don't care what you do or how you act on your free time but, on my Streets, you keep the funny business to a minimum.

Infractions assessed:

Toodle-Oo-Kangaroo : Roughing The Poster. Unnecessary cruelness towards LiquidFareham, who has been pulled into the medical tent under concussion protocols upon displaying symptoms of stupidity. 15 yard penalty. Automatic 1st down.

MrKuku- : Too Many Men On The Field. Mr_Kuku, MrKuku, John_Kukham, LiquidFareham, possibly Outkast - non-regulation # of Kuku's for a legal formation. That's bush league. Clean it up. 5 yard penalty. Repeat 2nd down. 

TheBeast : Challenge Failed: Legitimacy of Real Kuku. Upon further review, there is not enough evidence to overturn the designation of MrKuku- as the real Kuku. The decision on the field stands. You will be charged one timeout. 

We will continue to update as required. 

I've been warned about you, MrKuku-. You've already been assessed one penalty today and I won't tolerate any more nonsense. One wrong word out of you and I will throw you out of this ballgame so fast you'll have to come back for your shoes. Am I with the Competition Commission? No, however, I've been known to consult with their organization from time to time. My expertise and professional neutrality lends themselves well to the act of judging.

What is this nonsense now? A Thug giving out "penalties". How ridiculous. I don't accept the premise of your penalties in the same way that (un)Wise Guy LiquidFareham doesn't accept thinking before speaking. 

This is the Mafia, kid. Keep your stupid basketball references to yourself and off the streets. You're drowning out the real content, like authorization announcements. 

Congratulations, FutureStealer. 

I fear that outburst may result in a penalty...

StreetRef throws a yellow flag in the area of Toodle-Oo-Kangaroo's latest discretion and whistles loudly.

PERSONAL FOUL: TOODLE-OO-KANGAROO.

UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT. 

15 YARD PENALTY. AUTOMATIC FIRST DOWN.

I'm going to need you to take about SIX FOOTSTEPS BACK, Kangaroo, and snap your next response into play from there. You're dangerously close to an ejection, son. You just keep your head down and play ball. 

'I have better things to do with my day than listen to these IDIOTS', Kangaroo thought to himself and turned away without a backward glance.

So you can shove your penalties up your ass, Ref. 

StreetRef throws a yellow flag, his hat, his arms into the air, and whistles loudly.

PERSONAL FOUL: TOODLE-OO-KANGAROO.

UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT.

15 YARD PENALTY. AUTOMATIC FIRST DOWN.

AS A RESULT OF THE REPEATED UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT FOULS BY TOODLE-OO-KANGAROO, KANGAROO IS DISQUALIFIED FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE BALLGAME. 

Roco watches on shocked with this disregard for the rules and the authority of StreetReferee. Several goats had fainted as they listened to the outburst. Roco shook his head, he had always believe Kangaroos were nice creatures with very useful pockets. 

GuybrushThreepwood watched on in disbelief as the first disqualifcation of the game took place. 

"May I offer you a bowl of Museli at this difficult time Toodle-Oo-Kangaroo?"

StreetRef throws a yellow flag in the direction of GuybrushThreepwood.

AFTER THE PLAY WAS OVER:

UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT: TAUNTING, THREEPWOOD. 

This is Threepwood's first foul in this category. If he gets another, he will be disqualified.

Play ball.

GuybrushThreepwood, I'm trying to leave this stupid little conversation and the people involved in it behind me and I don't appreciate you dragging me back here. Despite that, you're a Capo and, unlike others, I respect this Thing too much not to give you the respect you're entitled to - whether I agree with it or not. So I'm not happy about it, but yes, you may offer me a bowl of muesli.

This man has been EJECTED from the ballgame.

Where is security?

Sir, if you do not exit my field promptly, the league will be assessing unprecedented fines for disruptive behavior by a disqualified player. 

Hiro heard a lot of noise coming from one of the alleys as he walked down the streets. He got curious and went closer to see what it is all about.

"What is this referee thing is going to work?"

"What is it going to contribute to the streets?"

"Will in maintain?"

Hiro stands back and watches while the others discuss the topic.

StreetReferee Where is security?

This rabid kengeroo has been hurling insults left right and center, chucking around excrement much like an enraged a chimpanzee.

First he disrespects my GRANDIOSE rank of (Senior) Wiseguy whilst he is naught but a freshly-minted Goomba Earner, then minutes later he reverses course and makes an appeal to respect ranks in a BLATANT attempt to suck up to GuybrushThreepwood so he can steal his pirate booty in the future.

And to top it all off it just straight up ignores the penalties handed to him by an official, state-appointed, Competition-Commission-backed, street referee.

Unacceptable.

Also of course I accept the penalty that was assigned to me by StreetReferee without question. I would not want to incur the wrath of the Competition Committee.

Hiro, I appreciate your respectful tone. I was VERY close to throwing a flag. Instead, I will answer your questions. 

"What is this referee thing is going to work?"

Try to MAKE SENSE, Hiro.

 "What is it going to contribute to the streets?"

Like any ref, I want a clean & fair ballgame.

 "Will in maintain?"

 Will IN maintain?

Try to MAKE SENSE, Hiro.

SO CLOSE to throwing a flag, Hiro. Tread lightly. 

I sincerely apologize.

My cocked-eye got the best of me.

Allow me to rephrase:

"What is this referee thing is going to do?"

"What is it going to contribute to the streets?"

"How is the referee going to maintain the cleanliness of our streets?"

He's a Capo, Fareham. That means something to me at least. You're a Wise Guy, in name at least, and still an associate.

Threepwood has made it, annoyingly.

I might not like what he has to say, but if he offers me muesli, I just have to grit my teeth, leaving enough of a gap to eat it. That is what the mafia is. You and this wet wipe in the black and white top might have forgotten that. I never will.

That's it, I've had it up to here with this Kengeroo. I extended the olive branch multiple times but alas.

I officially, and formally, request a sitdown with the escaped zoo convict.

Where is Kuku, he must get the table and desk lamp ready.

NEW INFRACTION ASSESSED:

Street Corner - The Rise (And Fail) Of The Kuku Bloodline

Culprit - Outkast

Penalty - Social & Moral Offside, the player offered 1 million dollars for the heads of sponsored associates, referred to several CLs as morons. Dirty football, recommended league investigation into 'Bountygate' and sanctioning of a fine & a possible 1-game suspension.