Having sat here for the best part of an hour, looking for something worth my attention in the Streets that I could parody in the forthcoming "Chuckle Knuckle Issue V - Return of the Knuckle" and managing to only come up with another fucking dollop of dull speculation from Kuklinski, I decided to mail my Godfather to dispel my boredom.

He read my mail about how interesting it was to live in a time with so many Godfathers and subsequently ignored it.

Fine, he's a Godfather. He might be busy doing nothing. That's cool. Old Chuckle can handle a little rejection, JkL made that extremely clear.

In the face of this slight, I decided to take my frustrations to Katarina, given that her rough, out in the sticks, knocked from room to room upbringing provided her with something akin to perspective. I mailed her in an attempt to dispel my boredom.

She read my mail about how interesting it was to live in a time with so many capable leaders in MafiaReturns and subsequently ignored it.

I can handle a little rejection, but not this much. This made me reconsider my approach and instead of mailing these individuals blatant lies, I decided that I would share my thoughts with all of you guys instead and supply a few truths.

You won't ignore me, will you? You better fucking not. I might just have to kill myself if you do.

Speaking of killing yourself (seamless segway), I've come to the conclusion that you're all holding your breath and hoping that Roman retires on his two years, right? Well, you're all fucking cowards to have let him survive for two years to begin with and this makes you even worse. Anyone with any sort of ambition, which I used to think was most people here, wouldn't have to hope that Roman got tired of winning and decided to discard his crown. They would at least have attempted to stop him and take it off him. They would at least have given it a go and attacked him. You might have died in the process, so what? Ultimately, that would have been far more worthwhile than sitting around, worrying about the day he eventually got bored enough of waiting for you to do something and ended your miserable existence like you're all doing now.

Given how our world is, all we have here, when all is said and done, is our legacy. The only true measure of whether anyone did anything worthwhile before they died is what people will say about them when they are dead. Who do you think people are going to remember from this generation? Hell, I can't even remember all of the leaders without checking the crew information and they are still fucking alive! How anonymous do you have to be where you are forgotten about before you're even dead? I don't know the answer to that but we have plenty of examples all around us.

If I was a leader right now, I would have to take a long hard look at myself in the mirror. Frankly, most of you should be ashamed of what you see looking back at you. Nobody is going to remember you even existed. What is the point of being here and leading when nobody is going to remember that you even occurred? Is that what you wanted when you first thought about being a leader? "I'd really like to setup, live for a while, then die anonymously in some war and pine about the opportunity I squandered". No, was it fuck. You probably thought "I can't wait to be a leader and rule MafiaReturns; then I won't have to tolerate this Chuckle twat lecturing me". If you didn't think that, kill yourself right now because you are taking up valuable oxygen that would be better spent on Kuklinski.

Trust me; none of you anonymous fucks are going to be remembered. Nobody cares about how well you ran a pickpocketing contest for your crew. Nobody cares about how popular your business district was. All that people will ever remember is what you did and for 99% of you, that is absolutely nothing. It is shitty when you don't get the chance to do what you want and it is absolutely unforgivable to have the chance and throw it away out of fear of making an impact. Do something. Do anything. Just don't keeping sitting there waiting for something to happen. Make it happen. Please, I'm begging you.

Inertia is the greatest force on this planet and MafiaReturns is living proof of it. I'd love some of you guys to come out here and defend yourselves, tell me how wrong I am and point to all your great achievements. The problem is that you probably aren't going to do that. You probably aren't even going to listen to this in the first place. God, I'm so sick of all of you. You're so dull that I genuinely have nothing interesting to select from for my paper, how embarrassing for all of us. Someone who has said nothing has made it to Godfather, wonderful, I can picture how fun that will be to read about a second time. Someone else who has said nothing has taken over a city to do nothing with it, fantastic, let me get my pen and note that down, fun times ahead right there.

When you're all dead, you're going to regret ignoring this and wish you hadn't just sat there doing nothing like before. I'm going to laugh. Not at any of you specifically though, because I'll have no idea who you were.

Anyway, I'm done now.

Cheers for ignoring my mails as well.

Bastards.

~C~

DanK walks down the street minding his own business and notices Chuckle on his soap box. Rather then stand and listen to what he is rambling about, DanK crosses the street and ignores him.

I salute you Chuckle.

Yet again you come to our streets and provide us all with entertainment. It's a sad state of affairs that our only other source of entertainment is the oh-so delusional and rather fucking annoying Kuku.

I personally stopped posting in the streets a while back now. It appears people don't like what I have to say, nor do they like they way I say it. Matter of factly they don't like me at all, and I'm in no position to re-inforce my views.

Kudos to you for coming out here and contradicting the masses. You of all people know what it is to both lead a city and to orchestrate wars and takedowns. I'm not saying I wish for the fall of Roman, I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is everyone should be inspired by your words. Frankly, this world is an utterly diabolical state, where 90% of the population are voiceless, opinionless mongs, who do not know their own arses from their elbows.

It's about time people manned up and became real fucking mafioso's.

Just remember what your mum told you, its just jealousy

(Can get lonely in the Heartbreak Hotel, although I hear DanK prostitutes himself at the bar) 

It is nice to see that there are still people out there who are not afraid to speak their mind no matter what consequences will occur. This is probably one of the best speeches i have heard in a very long time in the streets. I am sure there are tons of people out there that will agree with what you're are saying and understand where you are coming from. Only thing is they don't have the balls to speak up and let their feelings known in the same way you have done.

The thing is, there will only be a few people who come out here and agree with what you're saying, too many people live in fear for voicing their opinions, which is also wrong in itself. I applaud you Chuckle, well done.

You make some very well thought out, valid points, Chuckle. I have pondered your words and they weigh heavily on me. I have decided to take it upon myself to make something happen. Something that will leave an indelible mark on this world we live in. Something that will engrave the memory of Bismarck in each and everyone of our collective consciousness. So with that I am announcing that....

...Coming soon! The Super Impactful and Unforgettable Bismarck Memorial Pick Pocket Contest!!!!!

DanK hears a second voice speaking from the direction he has just come from, turning round he notices Mars clearing his throat. He jogs back to ensure he can catch every word the great speaker says. Listening very attentively and nodding, a smile of agreement comes across DanKs face...

Mars, it is a sad world when people no longer wish to come to the streets to debate or comment for fear of the repercussions. The majority of the time, it is not what you say but how you say it. You can criticise someones idea, or persona, but do it in a polite, non-aggressive way and things should be ok...

DanK walks off in the direction of The Hearbreak Hotel for an evenings work...

Chuckle and I are not friends, that is obvious.  But we agree on many fundamentals.  Say what you like about my bloodline, but they have not been afraid to get noticed, try new things and have a Devil may care attitude.

But Chuckle, there are some fantastic leaders out there.  I dislike Prem, but he is a leader - he is good at what he does, albeit what he does is vile.  LV have againt all the odds not been wiped out yet.  Chicago has several Godfathers in waiting.  But Chuckle is absolutely right when he says that the world is on hold, waiting for Roman to retire.  Things will pick up then - most definitely.

What today's leaders do lack, totally, is the balls to let their people talk on these streets openly and honestly - they ban members from talking in the streets about any controversy and this is a bad, bad thing.

I guess in years to come rather than listen to this inane drivel my time would be better spent watching some dulcet karaoke programme. In fact I'm almost driven to the point myself of leaving this world and setting up an "I'm a usless self importance filled twat with a uncanny harrowing story in my life history singing competition."

Yes in fact, why wait a few decades. There are many amongst us now who have that particular Xcrement factor.

Instead of the palpable pickpocket competition crosses his legs to hide his excited hardon I propose some talentless mongaloid put them selves forward and create the bones of such a competition. I gladly would be a judge.... Because quite frankly I haven;t got a clue about life either.

The hulkster stands and looks at himself in the mirror. FEAR. Walking down the street he listens to Chuckle.

Well you know something brother! The Inactivity of mobsters is corroding these streets like the black plague! You know dude we have all these NPMs walking around the streets getting money but the sense of family is lost within these robotic minds! I find that the only thing worth an entertainment in these parts of Mafia Life is the possiblity that someone would Wack Back; the occasional funeral to go to. You know brother there is always a moment in time to have a reason to complain but this is unlike any other time in history. Mafia has fallen to sheer boredom. I slept in my house for an entire month and the only thing i missed was more authorizations who dont even come to the streets saying they made it to the spotlight brother, and if they did it would seem as if no one cares.

The hulkster pauses and flexes.

I dont know one person that would not agree with you! So i, who was just wondering what happened to your street presence, am thrilled to see you spitting out a call to activity within all walks of life.

I agree with almost everything you've said, but there is a cause beyond a lack of testicular fortitude among the leaders (although that certainly plays a part). 

Hitters.

Over time the best hitters gravitate towards power, always have, always will. The power at the moment is quite clearly held with Prem and Roman, thus they have not only the most capable hitters between them, but I'd be willing to bet the most numerically too. They are unlikely to fight each other any time soon. Should Roman decide he's bored of winning and hang up his crown there are certainly any number of leaders under him ready to step up and take the GF spot. That in itself will not change anything - though I concede his successor probably wouldn't be as politically astute so could potentially stir things up, or perhaps just try to make a name for him/herself.

Last week Squishy had a sociopathic moment and decided he wanted all 400 (ish) of his BGs dead. The entire population had access to them, flights causing no restrictions. How long did it take to get through them? 18 hours? So to ask a small city to take a chance on attacking one of the big guys with much fewer hitters is unrealistic, however frustrating that may be.

These days anyone with time and patience (let's face it, who doesn't have a metric fuckton of that these days) can train a several-hundred kill gun with ease on nothing more than MIAs, NPCs and their BGs... the problem is that those guns are useless at affecting change. In days gone by a lone individual with dedication could put an end to this kind of stagnation with 3 or 4 months hard training. Now? It would take years to develop a gun worth taking rogue. Rogues were fun, and could take out a shit leader... the modern rogue is likely to pop a couple of high-ish ranked members, fail his shot on the CL and die. Why bother?

As for the state of the streets, I agree completely... but as I am as guilty of doing nothing about it as almost everyone else, I can't moan too much.

Getting showered with the spittal of the raving man, Klasky is forced to respond.

I have to agree on a lot that has been said here, this place has went stale and waiting on an aging man to retire from business is pretty shameful. Who is to say that will definitely happen anyway.

I think the reason there has not been as many struggles for power that older generations may have witnessed is again due to the amount of time and resources required to pull off such a feat.

I think that's probably what's off putting that wrest for power.

Or maybe it could be construed as smart, Kudos to you for brining this debate and your frustrations to the masses after things falling on deaf ears.

I expect you to live up to your own advice chuckle. If no one here is worth the breathe then stop using it to talk about them. That or kill them. Good luck.

Holy. Fuck.

What a pathetic toys out the pram I wish someone would entertain me pile of rubbish. You want entertainment Chuckle, make us fucking laugh son. Right now that's all you've done for me. I value your words, hell there was a time I hung on them like a child soaking in the words of an intellectual parent. Alas, this time I have to laugh. You question the leaders among us for sitting back and doing nothing, all the while you do the same. Sit there, in the safest home of them all and protected in the absurd levels like the rest of us, yet have the testicular fortitude to question those that choose not to throw it all away on a whim.

Firstly, well done. You have at least took the steps to create debate and put your life at risk in doing so. Its fair to say what you've done may not be viewed well in the hierarchy. To me your actively goading people to make a move on Roman, a leader who has in his time been as kind as he is ruthless. Why have you done it? Boredom? That is quite evident to me. Is that really a good reason to approach these streets and whine? No, not in my opinion.

Again though, kudos that you've spoke your mind. But the points made fall true to you like they do the rest of us, you want change, make it happen yourself. Don't sit there and try and convince others to risk what they've gained.

With respect, Mr Worley this:

You have at least took the steps to create debate and put your life at risk in doing so.

 

is a massive part of the problem.

Well Chuckley-wuckley-woo.

I have successfully tamed a lion with my bare hands, survived many attempts by Alabama to seduce me and put up with constant sexual harrassment from Klasky.  The last in itself isn't something I would ordinarily like to put out there but to show you the things that go on behind the scenes that shape my awesomely spunky nature.

To get back to the bigger issue, yes, you're right...it's way too easy to ignore you.  ScrabbleKing sums it up neatly, the sheer time and effort required by an individual to do anything of note or to shake things up puts people off.  Just to stand still in comparison takes a stupid amount of effort.  Not that hard work shouldn't in itself be rewarded and short cutting your way to super-stardom should always lead to a short shelf life.

On the other hand, is a state of constant flux good for business?  And I don't mean business in a cash gathering exercise but a lifestyle popularity issue. 

Is the biggest obstacle to excitment, the one size fits all model to city leadership and rules?  Every city, one and the same no diversity anywhere?

Pilgrim sneaks behind Chuckle as he stands on his soap box and subvertly fans the embers of the small fire he has unknowingly lit.

Forgetting he doesn't want to be seen he loses himself, in his excitement and shouts..

WE NEED MORE FUEL!!!! BURN HIM!!! HE'S A WITCH!!!

Realising people are beginning to look and point he tips a little brandy from his hip flask onto the flames and scuttles off smartish.

The fire grows...

DanK returns to the ever growing crowd after being booted out of The Heartbreak Hotel for soliciting

ScrabbleKing,

I would like to pick up on something you said and run with it if I may? It is when you mention rogues and how they are now nearly non-existent, and basically worthless. This is true and leads me onto a recent bug bearer of mine...

Back in my Grandfathers day, I remember sitting on his knee listening to someone who had just got their new bold suit, explaining to the world within seconds of getting it that they were authed and not a rogue, surrounded by their 10 bodyguards to ensure eager fans did not get too close. This had to be done to stop those with an itchy finger.

With the lack of rogues, leaders mentalities seem to of changed. For many, it now take 2/3 days after getting their bold suit to announce to the streets that they are authed. To announce who they are. to show the streets some respect. I have even seen a couple of cases where this announcement has still not even taken place. They have just picked up their suit, given themselves a name, and continues criming and shooting as if nothing has changed.

This results from the lack of rogue's. It is now assumed if someone go's bold that they are authed and those who get authed no longer feel a need to announce it for their own protection. We no longer have that oppurtunity to hear there voice, or dicuss their plans for their block...it is sad.

Whilst all this does is highlight that we now live in a much safer world, which is a good thing, it does have the negative aspect of reducing the street activity of some further...

Anyway, I have digressed a little bit. Keep cool and carry on

Also, whilst I have you hear, I will no longer be operating out of The Heartbreak Hotel due to unforeseen circumstances. When in Chicago, I can now be found walking the streets around the Rush Street area.

DanK skips off knowing the more time he wastes here, the less money he will make today...

Although I don't agree with everything you have said Chuckle such as your statement that nothing is going on except pickpocketing and family business, I would put it to you that wars are not everything this game is about there are many other things like the family compertitions which people work hard on and for you to dismiss them because they dont entertain you in some way, they are forms of activity none the less.

How ever what I can not fault you on is your frank honesty and the ability to express your opinion which these streets have been lacking for some time. I used to love coming to these streets to hear a wide range of opinions and debates on a range of subjects but sadly over time they have all gone due to everyone worrying about offending someone and getting killed. With all the idiotic rants and fear mongering from that Dr K guy running around at the moment, I personaly think that people can have an opinion and can debate something they are not happy about aslong as its done in a valid and respectful way the leaders of our citys are happy to hear it and are not looking to aim there guns at everyone who speaks out.

Alchemy takes a sip of his whiskey and takes a seat on a bench and continues to listen to the world going by

Well, well. It seems that some people have finally decided to turn up and interrupt the triumphal march this was turning into, just as I was about to make my way to the temple of Jupiter too. Good. About time someone called me out for my own role in the quagmire we've all got ourselves rutting in. About fucking time.

The reason that I don't kill everyone, and believe me I would really love to most of the time, is because above all else I'm a loyal member to my leader. That is why you'll notice that I pitched this primarily at the leaders, because I don't expect mass revolts from within crews. I wouldn't encourage it and I wouldn't tolerate it if I was on top and therefore I couldn't really fairly suggest that it happen when I wouldn't do it myself.

With that said, I am expecting the leaders to do something. Is that too much of me to ask? Seemingly so. That "something" should not be replaced with "everyone kill Roman" either, which you boys seem to have done. You too 'Bama. Sure, I think it is pathetic as hell that nobody has even tried in like two years to seriously kill Roman, but that isn't your fault anymore than it is mine given that you spent 90% of your life in Chicago. The competition has been so fucking tame that they didn't want to rule themselves and now we have to move Chicago's sons out on their own to make up the numbers.

No, what I am suggesting with this 'pathetic toys out the pram I wish someone would entertain me pile of rubbish' is that the leaders should do something for themselves. If that constitutes trying to kill Roman, good for fucking them, we would welcome the challenge. However, what it has to absolutely fucking constitute is something. Maybe that is taxing your IAs. Maybe that is taxing your business district. Maybe that is running around with a shitty stick and jabbing ugly bastards in the eye with it. Whatever that may be it has to be something more than what we now, because I don't see anything at all and that sickens me.

Surely, as a leader, you went into this thinking about something that you wanted to do. Spunk talks of 'the one size fits all model', in what I assume is a negative tone, so I guess he doesn't like it. Good, me either. One of my ancestors wrote about following the Marietta blueprint for the Tribune and said then that it needed to stop and people do something different. Before that old Ruiner petitioned Anita to change things with Captains and Underbosses, so maybe it is my blueprint after all. Regardless, do something different if you don't like it. Change it right now in Detroit. Employ a different system. Hell, Gwarble wasn't even a Godfather and he pioneered the MIA theft rule which every city in the country still follows. So what is stopping you? Why not do it? I guess because you either can't be fucking bothered, which is criminal in itself or you're scared that Roman will squash you if you do. Which is the huge problem, why assume that? Why would Roman necessarily give a fuck?

When you reach a point where you want to do something and because Roman is alive you can't do it, then you need to man up and take a swing at him. But, before we get anywhere near that point, you actually need to start doing things. Anything at all and that is where we fucking are right now. None of you fucking cowards are prepared to push an inch to find where the boundaries are. The only thing that stops anyone from doing whatever they like is their own perception of what they believe they are capable of getting away with before someone kills them. That is a loose collar in most cases, which for some reason people think is strangling them so badly that they don't do anything. Pathetic; you haven't even tested where it is before you start to make your choking sounds. Try something before declaring it is impossible; see what happens. You're going to be forgotten if you don't. That is an absolute guarantee.

I also notice that rather than think about the accusations I'm levelling at you, addressing them and being all the fucking better for it. You're just turning around and throwing them right back at me. Fine, I'm big enough to take them and I've got answers for them all. But, do you? Do any of you? I'm not a leader. I didn't sign up for the bright lights and a shot at the big time. I'm a loyal member to my leader. I'm as dedicated to SexyBeast as an addict to his crack. That is why I'm not in the top spot. I'm here on team Chicago and New York, which has systematically destroyed everyone else and left me in limbo with all these cravens and cowards who aren't even prepared to do something interesting. Only, the difference between us is that you're not a loyal member to your leader. You are the leaders and you did sign up for that shot at the big time. I guess though it turns out it was just for a shot at the pretty small time, right?

We've reached a point where we have nobody left willing to do anything at all, instead the white flags are all waving and everyone is hoping Roman just walks off into the sunset and they can breathe again. Well, I'm fucking bored of the white flags. I want to see some skull and crossbones; I want to see some people prepared to think they could do it better than it is being done now and actually do it. Why sit around doing nothing? What is the point? You get to hone your gun that will still be in your holster when you die, congratulations. What is it that you would like to do? Do that. Find out what happens. There is nothing set in stone here. You don't have to fight Chicago. You could do anything and it would be better than the nothing that we currently have.

Our home is safe because we made it that way and in the process we seemingly snuffed out the threats together with all the independent people with a thought in their head and a set of testicles between their legs. There are other cities here in MafiaReturns besides Chicago and New York. There are plenty of things that the leaders in those cities could do if they wanted to, many of which wouldn't even infringe on Chicago and New York in any way, but they aren't even prepared to find that out. That is what offends me the most. Negotiate. A gun is a tool and so are our words. Use them. Do something. Try something.

If the only solution you've got to the fact that the leaders are all cowards, is that I become a leader, do you not think that is a terrible indictment of them anyway? They are clearly falling below the Chuckle standard because if I was the leader, there is absolutely no way I would sit around holding my dick waiting to die out of fear that if I did something, someone important might not like it. No, I would do the things I wanted to do and I would try to make them work in the current framework. If I couldn't get them to work in the current framework, then I would knock that motherfucker aside and start rewriting the rules until I was satisfied with how it looked. I know that you can do things even without having to kill everyone and I'm smart enough to get them done. That is why people have always come after me and mine the second I get the number one spot and I don't blame them, I'd come after me too because I'm not boring as sin. I have ideas and I have methods and that makes me a great big target. Awesome. I'd paint that bad boy squarely between my own shoulders if I could, because I believe that you may as well not be here if someone doesn't want to kill you. And at the end of it all, I would have achieved more in my 5 minutes, than any of the anonymous drones here will do in 5 months. That is why you hear people talk about me. That is why people hang on my every word. That is why people remember me - I'm not just a blip on the radar, I'm a fucking mountain.

If it ever becomes the best for The Cheese Syndicate that I take on a different role, then I will. If that is that I take up a role as a Captain, then I'm there. If something should happen to the mighty Beast and I have to go out on my own, then you'll see me doing my thing until someone puts me in the ground. In the mean time, it would be pretty fucking great if anyone else decided to something with the chance they've got.

~C~