girl you sweet like sugar water

Are you the Hulk cause baby you are smashing.

Say....is that your mother....shes hot.

Is there a mirror in your pocket?  Cuz I can see myself in your pants ;)

Hi, I’m Dave. So... how do you like me so far?

I had a friend say "I wanna stick it in you", and it worked. Legendary.

There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.

Ey yo ma, I'd drink yo bathwater

Did You Just Fart? Because You Blow Me Away!

Best one, works every time.

Ay Gurl, why don't you come over here & drink some henny then let me clap dem cheeks. - Works literally 0% of the time.

I um you, me girl pretty ... let me go hide in seclusion out of embarrassment now. 

Alright, it's longer than I thought, I know. If you're reading this it's too late. 

"Girl, you're not the Girl from Ipanema but you're the most beautiful and graceful thing I've ever seen" 

"If life is a game, you're the DLC that makes it worth living"

"My love for you is like One Piece, it never ends"

"Stop wishing me goodnight and come make it good with me"

"I really need to smell your perfume on my body, listen to the music of your heart touching my soul...filling me with pleasure"

"A kiss can be long, short, wet...But for it to be really good, it has to be yours"

"Is your father a lawyer? no? because he did it right" 

"Is your father a pirate? no? because you're a treasure" 

"Girl, call me Devil and let me possess you"

"You know the difference between you and a million dollars? I have a million dollars." 

"Could you tell me your Twitter? My parents always told me to follow my dreams"

"Once upon a time, there was 2 bears, one named Livme and another named Kissme, Livme died. Who survived?"

"I bet a kiss that you will reject me"

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I come by more often?"

"Look, I'm not a drug dealer but we could go to my house and play Breaking Bed"

"Wow, you here with me is definitely part of Google's plans, because I'm lucky"

"Wanna see me kiss you? no? then close your eyes"

"Baby, you can call me Coffee because I'm hot and I can keep you awake all night"

"Are you Euro or Dollar? Because you can't be Real"

"You're not a kindergarten school but I wanna put a child in you"

"I'm sorry but I would change something about you...I'd put a wedding ring on your finger"

"Is Hurry your enemy? because they say it's the enemy of perfection"

"Look, I know we're not engineers or anything but we can build a relationship"

"You're like a camera, you know that? Everytime I look at you I wanna smile"

"Do you like me? if you don't then do a backflip"

"Sex kills...wanna die happy?"

"Wanna play a guessing game? you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight" 

"They say love is a wonderful thing... Let's make some and find out?"

"Doesn't it hurt your legs to run away from me everytime I dream about you?"

"Fuck me if I'm wrong but don't you want to kiss me?"

"You're like a toothbrush, I wouldn't share you with anyone"

"I miss my teddy bear. Do you wanna sleep with me?"

"I don't need 1000 reasons to smile. You're enough already"

"Do you mind if I look at you a bit? I wanna remember you so I can see you in my dreams"

"It would be strange if I didn't fall in love with you"

"Without your love I can't do anything and with your love I can do anything"

"I'm not afraid of not being able to conquer a lot of women, I'm afraid of not being able to conquer you. Every day."

"If you were a tear of mine, I would never cry so that I'd never lose you."

"I love you not only for who you are but for who I become when I'm with you"

"We have a problem. Your lips are very far away from mine."

"If I went to a war, I'd fight for the country. But since I fell in love with you, I wanna fight for you"

"The only thing I'm sure about is that every moment is special when you're with me"

"I value every single minute with you because I know how every second is painful without you" 

"I don't have a good pickup line but I just wanted to get closer and talk to you"

"I might not be your first love but I'll be the best you ever had"

"You know when you want a moment to last forever? That's how I feel when I'm with you"

"My dearest, every love story is beautiful. But ours is my favorite."

"When I think about you even my eyes smile"

"I knew it was love when after we said 'goodnight' I felt an uncontrollable desire to say 'I love you'"

"If this love I feel for you is a dream, then I don't wanna wake up"

"You know where I could buy a guiding dog? Because I fell blindly in love with you"

"The distance between us doesn't matter when there's a sky that unites us"

"Better than falling asleep and dreaming about you would be if I could wake up and see you laying next to me"

"I don't know if perfect happiness exists, but when I'm with you I feel perfectly happy"

"I write about you every single day because I can't kiss you every night."

Make me your fake chix

Feel my shirt. 

Know what it's made of?

Boyfriend material.

Okay.... so I’m really surprised Ron_Swanson is not a permanent feature here...

but here goes:

Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.

Are you a parking ticket? Because you have Fine written all over you.

I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?

See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.

& my personal fave:

”So, I’m here, what are we doing with the other two wishes?”

Cognito-Oot

bit late to the party here Ian_Cognito but I'll give it a go.

'grab your coat, you've pulled'

'is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?'

'do you like chicken? well suck my cock, it's fowl'

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

Wanna have sex? Its easy. saves lots of time. you only need 1 win

if you don't sleep on you stomach, do you mind if I do?