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| Admin Competition - A Cunning Linguist. | Started by: Squishy on May 15, '09 16:02 |
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Your Quest: Write a 5-15 line story about your favorite (or least favorite) Admin (Assistant, Street Cleaner, Coder, basically any form of staff) on MR or of the original .Org Your story must read 100% clean, without any *direct* vulgar, inappropriate or risque words. Each *individual word* (on it's own) must be appropriate enough for a 13 year old to be read aloud to his or her grandmother. Here comes the fun part: Double entendre, doublespeak, euphemisms, ambiguity, wordplay, puns, sexual innuendo and so on - will greaty increase your chances of winning. (We each have varying levels of tough skin, but you should basically know your target and their sense of humor before you pull the trigger to ensure no hard feelings) This contest will end on May 17th, at 16:00. (An unannounced number of people will win, every legit entry will at least get at least something, crewleaders will also be rewarded for their members entries... Basically, the more effort you apply, the bigger your reward) |
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| Where would you like the entries? And how many are we allowed?(one favorite, one least?) | |
| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at May 15, '09 16:03 | |
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| There is no limit on the number of entries. Submit the entries here. | |
| Reply by: ForkRourke at May 15, '09 16:06 | |
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There once was a Sprozz from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket His daughter named Nan Ran away with a man And as for the bucket, Nantucket lol that is the lamest limerick I know |
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| Reply by: RourkeyRourke at May 15, '09 16:14 | |
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Turn Two 'twas a bright young lad, Twisted, messed up, he'd been had, Word on the street was he got mad, 'Cuz Izzy admitted that he was his dad. |
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| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at May 15, '09 16:17 | |
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| Slight alliteration and rhymes for the win :) | |
| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at May 15, '09 16:19 | |
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Squishy you're mushy like mid-winter soup, Certainly a quick one to catch us on dupes, Possibly kill us, maybe a ban, You've still got to know I'm your number one fan |
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| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at May 15, '09 16:24 | |
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| i'm new so i dont have a clue | |
| Reply by: Rebellion-x at May 15, '09 16:25 | |
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Squishy got Squished. Squishy... Heres a little story about my good friend Squishy. He was walking down an alleyway one day and a bum walked upto him and said "Squishy.. one of these days Im going to Squish you" Squishy replied with.. "Yeah sure you are Ill jab you face in you stupid bum". The bum that Squishy was talking to went by the name of RourkeyRourke. RourkeyRourke was a poor bum who threatened anyone who walked past his trashcan which he lived in. The trashcan was located next to The Riot! Castle because Marietta chucked him out. Squishy always had to walk down that alleyway everyday to get through The Riot! Castles secret entrance which lead into Marietta's private head quarters. Squishy one day was walking down that alleyway and RourkeyRourke smacked him in the legs with a plank of wood. Squishy fell to the floor and cried in agony. RourkeyRourke sat there and laughed at him, Squishy then got up and smacked RourkeyRourke in the face so hard that Rourkey's beard flew straight off and Squishy broke his knuckle but Rourkey was flat out on the floor. Squishy then walked over and grabbed Rourkey's beard and suffercated Rourkey with his own Beard. Rourkey did not survive and Squishy got away with it as the Police thought that Rourkey suicided and killed himself with his beard. Squishy felt so proud of himself that he go away with murdering Rourkey that.. One day Squishy wasn't looking where he was walking and he walked straight infront of a truck... Squishy then did literally get Squished. |
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| Reply by: Death-Knight at May 15, '09 16:33 | |
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The other day, Belle and I made plans to have lunch together. I had been saving money for the past few weeks and I was ready to have her come so I could give her a very special present. I stopped off at the jewelry store in order to pick up my pre-order, but when I got there I noticed the salesgirl was already servicing another customer. I waited a few minutes, paid for my gift, and departed. We got to the restaurant and it was fairly crowded. Belle was already seated and looked beautiful in her red dress. Since I had been working on the roof earlier, I pulled my caulk out of my pocket and placed it on the table. After feeling around for a few minutes, I finally found Belle's box. I reached deep into my pocket and handed it to her. Belle unwrapped my package and exclaimed with glee, "Rourkey, thank you! It's so big!!! I have always wanted one of these!!! Will you help me put it on?" I was more than happy to oblige her so I slung the pearl necklace she always wanted right around her neck. Fin |
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| Reply by: RourkeyRourke at May 15, '09 16:35 | |
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Sprozza you screwball you used to be fun, Now that you're blue you never score any runs, Oh what a shame you're not great anymore, You squeal and you squeal like a dying boar |
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| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at May 15, '09 16:47 | |
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Camazotz. A name now synonymous with infamy. Did anyone know that Camazotz used to work a few odd jobs before he became an assistant? Here are just a few: Plumber - Cam was an expert at laying pipe Animal Trainer - His specialty was the donkey punch Dance Instructor - Quite good at the horizontal mambo Interior Decorator - Made sure the carpet matched the curtains Music Teacher - Played the rusty trombone Mexican Wrestler - His stage name was Dirty Sanchez Construction Worker to the Rich and Famous - Notoriously famous for installing golden showers Butcher - Always offered to beat your meat so you wouldn't have to Door to Door Carpet Cleaner - He always used the Cleveland Steamer (patent pending) I'm proud of you, Cam. Your resume is extensive. |
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| Reply by: RourkeyRourke at May 15, '09 16:53 | |
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| ... This competition should be ended, and all money ever made on this game should right now be directly sent to Rourkey | |
| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at May 15, '09 16:55 | |
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There once lived a man named Mario. His rank was an improbable mathmatical scenario. He devised a theory. To get Fridge all beery. Followed by rohypnol Hors D'oeuvres. So he excuted his plan, And lovingly stated to his man... "You are X^3, I am 1/4 X^4 which puts me in the area under your curves" Name: reluE Rank: Made Man |
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| Reply by: ForkRourke at May 15, '09 17:03 | |
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A Haiku for the Hero: A man named Sprozza: A regular bloody champ, Not a Nintendo. |
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| Reply by: Sprozza at May 15, '09 17:06 | |
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Scene: Construction site Walking along the construction sight, I noticed some higher-ups getting into a fight, It seemed poor Squishy accidentally slipped, Hammered VJ and not the nail he gripped, While Mario went into a power trip, Ganelon an' Enkindle felt like slaves on a ship, As Freeman and Sprozza were banging their wood into place, Belle begged and pleaded "lets pick up the pace!" |
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| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at May 15, '09 17:11 | |
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Squishy and I were sitting around our apartment one day when both of us realized we hadn't eaten all day. I turned to my friend and said, "I'm hungry and thinking about eating a taco or two. Want to go get some?" Squishy said, "No thanks....I don't really like tacos. I definitely prefer hot dogs." I was outraged and exclaimed, "What do you mean you don't like tacos?" Squishy replied, "Well, I just really love to eat meat. Let's be honest here....I absolutely CANNOT get enough meat. Let me put this in perspective for you." Squishy gestured to his pets in the backyard. He owned a veritable zoo of all types of animals back there. He started pointing to several for emphasis and started saying, "I would choke my chicken if it meant I could inhale meat quicker. I would spank my monkey just to eat meat all day. You see that dolphin in the tank? I would flog my dolphin just to fill my mouth with meat. I would charm the snake if he would help point me in the meat direction. I would even wrestle the eel for a sweet bit of meat." Squishy finished talking about his animals and pointed to his next door neighbor. "I would even play peekaboo with Mr. Johnson over there if he would let me have some of his meat." After hearing his rant, I threw a few dogs on the grill for Squishy. I then turned to him and asked, "You want a little mayonnaise on your meat?" Squishy nodded feverishly and crammed all the meat he could fit into his mouth. Of course, Squishy was a good boy and always swallowed when meat was in his mouth. Fin |
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| Reply by: RourkeyRourke at May 15, '09 17:18 | |
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Hickory Dickory Doc. BrianArao was stroking his .... sock. The clock struck two. He upgraded his HQ. With stolen money from admin stock. |
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| Reply by: ForkRourke at May 15, '09 17:24 | |
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| tbh I just bought a lot of BGs | |
| Reply by: RourkeyRourke at May 15, '09 17:25 | |
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There was once a guy called BrianArao, who sort of supported Man United because his good friend Sprozza also did. One fine day, this very fine team won the League for the third time in a row with a triumphant win against "Le Arse", otherwise known as "Potential FC". "Hahahah, fuck off Liverpool," quothe BrianArao "Hahahah, fuck off Liverpool," quothe Sprozza Then they had some pie to celebrate. |
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| Reply by: Sprozza at May 15, '09 17:26 | |
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