Name: Johnny Killa

Originality - -20%: You have a minus here because of the killa. Not only have I already reviewed a killa but as I said before its pretend gangstaaar! What the bloody hell is the world's spelling COMING to???

Mafiotality - 77%: Johnny anything is bound to be a lil mafia like. Bonus points for not spelling it Johny. Thats either too oo lah dee dah Im a BRITISH fellow what what... or a bit heeeeeeeeeeeeres JOHNY! which is just pants.

Italionness/Russionness - 0%: Johnny? what what? :P

Comedy value points - 134%: too morbid

Other comments: As above. A bit too run of the mill trying to sound mafia. Having said that johnny has other connotations so I guess you could be like a killer of rubber sexual contraceptives. Now i like the name waaaaaaaay more. Changing comedy value (you had 0% before). Bonus points awarded - 68%

OVERALL SCORE - 89%: Condom killer... lolz

ha thats funny shit ! good one michael..i like the comedy value..shakes his finger..you you...you are funny !

I'm going to get panned.. But here goes.

Francis Costello

Name: Rebel the Pebble

Originality - 123%: I think for Pebble the Rebel you'd have got less. I mean it makes more sense but we can all imagine a rebel pebble. however a pebble rebel is slightly harder (if not a little bit weird and probably would be questioned if it ever arose at a psychiatrists meeting).

Mafiotality - 19%: I mean its kinda a nickname but being a pebble isn't really what the mafia want is it. They want BOWLDERS

Italionness/Russionness - 0%: Could this be any more english? I mean you've gotta love the cutsiness of pebble. Makes you think of a smooth stoney beach. Waves lapping away. Like that phone!

Comedy value points - 76%: Quirky. Not what you'd expect (see first para).

Other comments: You define yourself as a pebble. This is oddly worrying. Everything is taken away from the word rebel as such and you are probably more like a teddy bear (interestingly named after teddy roosevelt!). Bonus points awarded - 46%

OVERALL SCORE - 77%: I like the originality and think you are slightly clinically insane.

Name: The Shrike

Originality - 12%: My initial thoughts were that you had a) made the word up or b) been really really thick and spelt shriek wrong. However it turns out that your name is copied *shakes finger* from one of a pontential range of fictional sources. Therefore I am obliged to not award terribly highly for originality save that my first guess is that you have to be tremendously "unique" to have heard of any of the sources (yes I am declaring you special in all of our eyes).

Mafiotality - 44%: Its just a bit strange. I mean you wouldnt think of Al Capone known as The Shrike? Dunno its a bit foreign foreign (as opposed to just foreign which would make sense - see below)

Italionness/Russionness - 8%: See above.

Comedy value points - 6%: If I am right in believing you thought of this name due to one of the various fictional sources its just a bit beyond me, and If you really did spell shriek wrong then thats funny haha haha laughing at you, rather than with you :P

Other comments: Its a bit soft isn't it. You immediately think, didnt they mean strike but have got a bit of a speech disorder? Bonus points - -3%

OVERALL SCORE - 22%: One word... Meh...

Name: Joker

Originality - 1%: I asked you if you were joker haha or joker batman grrrrr joker. You said both. Let me tell you, you don't laugh at joker batman grrrrrr joker because he'll put a cigerette out in your eye.

Mafiotality - 0.01%: Badman but not mafia.

Italionness/Russionness - n/a <= ya i know thats a new one lol.

Comedy value points - 100%: Surely it would be criminal not to award top marks here?

Other comments: you have to choooooze who you want to be. are you a joker or are you the joker. the joker is more grrrrr. Its more of a ring isn't it. A joker is more jovial. Are you a jovial sort of chap? If you are I'm awarding - 67%

OVERALL SCORE - 50%: I'm gonna sit on the fence like you. You could have called yourself THE Joker or A Joker. But you did neither so nor will I :P

Chiara

Name:  iMgOoNaMaKUReYezBlEd

Originality - -400%: You are surely just trying to avoid being identified in WS. But I will assume from this point foreward that you are actually trying to tell us something here...

Mafiotality - -101%: What the hell can I say. Not even your name in one breath!

Italionness/Russionness - 0%: nonsense

Comedy value points - 12%: actually mainly your statement made me chuckle.

Other comments: 50% I will now try and explain what your name mean.

OVERALL SCORE - 36%:  "i" me, "Mg" magnesium - you are quick burning and firery and a little pretty when on fire BUT YOU CAN'T LOOK! DON'T LOOK WHEN ON FIRE!, "oo na" Oh, no! [I'm on fire don't look!], "make ur eyez bied" Make your eyes blind [you can't spell either]. COS IM ON FIRE DONT LOOK AWWWWW!

Tie

He wants it done...

Name: Ragnarok

Originality - 84%: You didn't make it up. However if you didn't get this from max payne then it requires some degree of knowledge. See you in valhalla ;)

Mafiotality - 65%: Ive kinda given you the benefit of a doubt here and on originality for opposite reasons. If you did get this from max payne its mafia, its dark its underground. If however you got it from norse mythology... go back to college :P

Italionness/Russionness - 75%: its norse, but a bit ruski in max payne.

Comedy value points - -935%: Darrrrrk. End of the world type shit. Or on the other hand. DAARRRRRRRK kill you like shit.

Other comments: Love the word. Many connotations, mainly dark and revolving around violence. Sit on the naughty step!

OVERALL SCORE - 99.9%: I'm loving it (dah dah da deeee daaaah)

JIGSAWtwentyone

Name: Diego Rivera

Originality - 34%: Google retrieves about 8 and a half million results when you search this. If every one identifies a different person thats about 0.1 of the worlds population. Not too original :P

Mafiotality - 100%: Diego... DIEGO... Its spanishy isn't it? What are you the mexican corrupt border control's puppy currently in training? :P

Italionness/Russionness - 51%: Rivera... RIVERA... Roles off your tongue doesn't is. Nice. Besides italian is similar to spanish anyways.

Comedy value points - 6%: I giggle at Diego. Its my pet ferret's name*. Lolz.

Other comments: Nice name really. its smooth. The style is run of the mill but it really does roll of the tongue. Its a bit less cliche then Vito Corleone type names. Like throwing a little portugese into the mix, just to be different. Bonus points awarded: 19%

OVERALL SCORE - 66%: I picture you as a slim smooth talking spanish tanned man, which is annoying cos my gf would shag you.

Name: Francis Costello

Originality - 68%: Who was the mother and father. What nationality I mean. Francis? Fraaaarnsisss? Costello... Cossstellllllllllllo. lolz

Mafiotality - 80%: Kinda.

Italionness/Russionness - 91%: You did it with the "o" at the end. Having said that if you/d left it at costell, well thats a tiny bit erm... girly?

Comedy value points - 66%: Love the name francis (see below.

Other comments: Picture the seen. Theres a really old woman in here mansion. She was married but her husband has died, now shes gone utterly mental. She only has her tiny white fluffy yorkshire terrier to keep her company. But she can't find him as he's out doing a doo doo on here bearskin rug. She calls him in her public school english accent... "FRANCIS!?" "Fraaaaaaaarnsssisss?" Bonus points awarded - 59%

OVERALL SCORE - 61%: Fraaaaaaaaaarnsssisss! :P

Name: Chiara

Originality - 102%: you must have made this name up. Surely. Its just a bit strange to be real :P

Mafiotality - 9%: Less "Annabella" from Sicily More "Mercedies" from the local council estate.

Italionness/Russionness - 1%: See above.

Comedy value points - 0%: I didn't laugh. I just didnt sorry.

Other comments: "Chiara" makes me think of a woman who is totally sexy. Dunno why and maybe you're not. Its just got that wfoar to it. Not to dainty that its annoying. But not to annoying that its celeb baby name... ok maybe a little. ok alot. oh well.   - 115%

OVERALL SCORE - 79%: You best be fairly good looking. Otherwise give the name up and change it to Betty :P

Name: Jigsaw Twenty One

Originality - -3%: Well... There's 21 of you no?

Mafiotality - 49%: Its got a kinda criminal element to it I suppose. But maybe thats only from the saw films. dunno.

Italionness/Russionness - 0%: Soz but the word is english. BTW did you know in 1902 the phrase jigsaw puzzle was conceived because the puzzle pieces were cut with a jigsaw. see not just full of crap! still a 21 piece jigsaw would be disappointingly easy...

Comedy value points - 0%: SAW is gory man. GOOOORRRRRRRY! WOOO! *ghostly hand movements - wtf does this mean. ghostly hand movements. Yeah sorry im just going to make my hands disappear temporarily... hmm i think not.

Other comments: Seeing as how a 21 piece jigsaw puzzle would be disappointly easy I will tarnish you with the same brush. You climax  disappointly easily so get no bonus :P- 0%

OVERALL SCORE - 39%: This score was disappointly easy to give :P

* Soz jigsaw puzzle was 1909

RECRO

Name: Recro

Originality - 35974%: Never heard of it and google can't find what the hell it means. So from here on I'll assume it was a typo :P

Mafiotality - 20%: More a mates name down the pub.

Italionness/Russionness - 50% No idea what the hell you is on about.

Comedy value points - 2.5%: Recro... LOL!! not.

Other comments: I'm assuming you mean retro with a sticky twist (velcro). Or it could be a an acronym of re-animated croatian, yes thats it. Bonus points awarded - 99%

OVERALL SCORE - 64%: We have now clearly established that you are a croat but be you re-animated, reconditioned or really really sorry we just can't say.

Charlie_Hustle

DO ME!!!!!

Hades waves arms