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| Win A Date With RonMexico | Started by: NikkiPhoenix on Nov 23, '07 22:38 |
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... and then as the crowd disperses like cockroaches in daylight ... Wait, wait, here me out! Its for a great cause... but more about that later. Nikki clears her throat before continuing with the speech Ron scribbled on her hand. Just think, you could be the lucky woman, or man— Ron has always been in support of equal opportunity —to tell all your friends that you went on a date with RonMexico and didn't wake up in Tijuana with one kidney missing. Don't miss out on this wonderful opportunity! Ron, always the philanthropist, is reaching out to those in need, and is auctioning off his valuable time to help the citizens of Las Vegas. That's right. All proceeds from this charity ball auction— She pauses, checks her hand, covers the mic and looks over at RonMexico who nods somberly, always willing to take, or give one for the team. Shaking her head, she addresses the megaphone. Hello megaphone. All the proceeds from this auction will go to benefit the Las Vegas Working Women's association. Your generous bids will help provide better health care to all those luckily unfortunate women of the evening who have come down with a terribly contagious disease known only by the name Mexicosis. Yes. It is just as horrifying as it sounds. Mexicosis, origins unknown, began to affect the women of Las Vegas shortly after Ron took up his business dealings there, and since the start of the epidemic, Mr. Mexico continues to strive diligently to find a cure. Where penicillin has failed, RonMexico hopes to prevail, with the help of fine young ladies and gentlemen such as yourselves. So step right up and pledge your support for Mr. Mexico's cause, and reap the benefits of a fun filled night with Las Vegas' Most Wanted... Most Eligible Bachelor I mean. Who would like to start the bidding? |
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Alfieri, inconspicuously dressed in a ginger wig and a sunflower dress, raises his arm "Fifteeeeen dollars for the young scalliwag!" |
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| Reply by: Alfieri at Nov 23, '07 22:54 | |
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| Fifteen dollars... we have fifteen dollars! Do I hear twenty? | |
| Reply by: NikkiPhoenix at Nov 23, '07 22:58 | |
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If anyone is a bit apprehensive about bidding, I assure you I won't bite... unless you're into it, that is. And you will be into it, if you get my drift. OH YES. |
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| Reply by: RonMexico at Nov 23, '07 23:06 | |
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| I'd LOVE to take you up on this NICKI but he always wants to lead! And he steps on my toes! | |
| Reply by: FIST at Nov 23, '07 23:38 | |
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And here I was about to delight in the irony of a man called FIST showing RonMexico a good time. She coughs. Twenty anyone? |
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| Reply by: NikkiPhoenix at Nov 23, '07 23:38 | |
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I'll bid twenty-five dollars on the condition that Ron wears latex, and Alfieri can watch the date from a hole in the wall! *McHugh darts his eyes around to make sure the other bidders aren't judging him like mother did when he was a lad.* |
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| Reply by: MolotovMcHugh at Nov 23, '07 23:49 | |
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We've got quite a jump there. Twenty five dollars is the current bid. A quarter Benjamin and a list of expectations! That's enough for a bottle of aspirin and some cranberry juice. Do I hear thirty-five? |
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| Reply by: NikkiPhoenix at Nov 23, '07 23:58 | |
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I have to admit, I'm afraid. I'm very, very afraid. But I'm going to go ahead and bid one million dollars. Oh wait, I don't have one million dollars. I'll bid fifty dollars. That's more within my budget. Tango walks away praying that someone out-bids her. |
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| Reply by: Tango at Nov 24, '07 00:00 | |
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And thats fifty from Tango. Last time the words "RonMexico" and "Tango" were used together was in the docket for a restraining order hearing. Here's to repeating history. Do I hear one hundred? |
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| Reply by: NikkiPhoenix at Nov 24, '07 00:03 | |
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God, I miss that orangutan. Sigh. |
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| Reply by: RonMexico at Nov 24, '07 00:09 | |
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Sonofa... Hold on, hold on, let me see what I can do here. *McHugh searches around his pockets and finds forty-seven dollars. He curses silently and snaps his fingers to his phalanx of bodyguards. He asks them to follow suit and empty out their pockets. All told, a final tally of $104 appears in his hands.* One-hundred and four dollars... *McHugh notices another object in the crumpled money given to him by his protectors.* ...And a used hypodermic needle? Seriously? I thought you guys tested clean... Assholes... *Turns his attention back to Nikki.* One-hundred and four dollars!!! *McHugh nods his man-legion towards Tango to keep her away from the bidding.* |
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| Reply by: MolotovMcHugh at Nov 24, '07 00:10 | |
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One hundred and four to Molotov and his beeches. We're doing quite well Ron. We might be able to afford some calamine lotion for the ladies. As Ron always tells them, "It puts the lotion on its skin..." I digress. Let's move this along shall we? Say, two hundred and fifty dollars? |
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| Reply by: NikkiPhoenix at Nov 24, '07 00:25 | |
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*McHugh listens to Nikki announce his bid.* Did you want the needle as part of the bid or...?? Just keep it then? *Nods and sits with his hands folded on his lap.* |
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| Reply by: MolotovMcHugh at Nov 24, '07 00:34 | |
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Runs up to the announcer "I will offer 9 pennies for the young lad. He just makes me crazy!" |
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| Reply by: Red_Eye at Nov 24, '07 00:41 | |
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Raises his hand One hundred and fifteen to burn! |
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| Reply by: Sal_Giaquinto at Nov 24, '07 00:55 | |
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One hundred fifteen to Sal it is. And Red-Eye, talk to Mr. Molotov. For nine pennies you can buy a slightly used needle. |
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| Reply by: NikkiPhoenix at Nov 24, '07 00:59 | |
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*McHugh raises his hand annoyed at the overbidding Giaquinto.* Might I ask... Where do the proceeds for this auction go? Because I also have a voucher for a free chest waxing by Alfieri valued at $29.00!!!! If the money is going to an orphanage then no one could use that waxing more than a gross, unkempt orphan! Therefore, I believe it should be counted as currency in the bidding. *He awaits the verdict from the auctioneer.* |
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| Reply by: MolotovMcHugh at Nov 24, '07 01:10 | |
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I bid 1,000 dollars! On the condition that he wears a dress and address's me as daddy for the night. |
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| Reply by: McFinnigan at Nov 24, '07 01:14 | |
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Wow. This is reform school all over again. |
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| Reply by: RonMexico at Nov 24, '07 01:19 | |
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