Me: Hi. What's your sign?

Her: Stop

"Girl are you an orphanage?  Because I wanna abandon my kids in you."

Grab your coat I have a knife

I only hate this one.....But here it goes

Didnt it hurt when you dropped out of the Vending Machine

.....

Cause you look like a snack 

"Girl are you a gorilla exhibit?  Because I wanna be irresponsible and drop my kids in you."

"Ye dancin?"

Wouldn't work anywhere but here, I don't think.

Girl,  I would pick you up in my 94 Nissan, take you to Taco Bell and put it all on credit. Let you get that crunch wrap baby. We'd both take bear sized gulps out of our 42 oz Baja Blasts and know the moments right. Id take you all the way to the liquor store and buy the cheapest boxed wine I can find, with what little torn dollar bills I have, take you back to my place where the neighbors fight constantly upstairs. I'd let you take a seat on my couch, pour that room temperature wine into a styrofoam cup and let you watch whatever you want on Netflix before my neighbors catch me stealing their internet again.

Wanna go out for a pizza and a fuck?

When she slaps you

"WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE PIZZA?"

I seemed to have lost my number, can I borrow yours?

I don't even know why im here. 

"Wanna get Quarantined with me?"

FAT PEGUIN

when she asks 'what's that mean' tell her you are trying to break the ice

"Yes"

is really all a woman has to say, but "No strings attached" works too

If you was a penny i'd pick you up **shrug**

Oi fuck face, jump on this.

You did say terrible...

I got hand sanitizer and a case of toilet paper.

Now I know why they call it a beaver, because I’m dying for your wood.

"Hey girl do you work at subway because you're giving me a footlong."

Your father must have been a thief. He stole the stars from the heaves and put them in your eyes.

Also the best one...... Wanna fuck? Out of 10 asked one will say yes. Saves a lot of time.