I can only assume there's some form of great schism in the Competition Commission. Part of the group just wants to judge hot dog eating, review open mic nights, promote unsanctioned and brutal 'Mug City' free for alls. 

The other half want to cause wars and murder innocent bystanders.

What side of history are you on, Ned_Harrington?

I said all this with a magnificent Italian accent whilst smoking multiple cigarettes and wearing a necklace made of mozzarella so you know I'm talking Full Blooded Italian sense.

I can tell by your mozzarella necklace you are a no-nonsense full blooded Italian and I respect that so I'll give it to you straight. There are many diverse personalities and opinions within the Competition Commission GiannaSchmianni. A healthy amount of debate and deliberation goes into every decision made by the Competition Commission with the goal of finding solid middle-ground. This process helps us ensure that we are making the correct and best decisions to safeguard the future of Competitive Competitions. 

To answer you question, I am not a warmonger. I firmly stand on the side of peace and good business, but I take my orders from the Competition Commission just like everyone else. But I am still of the opinion that we need both parts of the Commission. The perfect balance of degeneracy and dignity to create the perfect Competition Commission. 

Thank you for the question Gianna. If the world had more full blooded Italians like yourself we may not even need a Competition Commission. 

I have taken to the streets to apologise for the events of yesterday, on behalf of my family.
 

Imagine attempting to run a competition without the competition commission, commissioning the competition! The competition would be uncommissioned, an uncommisoned competition. Surely the competition commission would have to commission this competition? Or it would not be a commissioned competition in the eyes of the competition commission.
 

ClamTubularagula would be turning in his grave right now. His shallow, unmarked grave - Shrouded with thorn bushes and wild raccoons with the overwhelming smell of Grins piss.

TheWanderingJew had discovered that he liked saying the words competition commission.