Things have been too peaceful for too long. Things need to change.

I remember a time where money changed hands, noses got bloodied and power and respect followed the strong.

This weekend I will therefore put an end to things as we know them, and I ask all of the residents of LA to stand shoulder to shoulder with me as we RAID the other five cities.

Overwhelmed by Buddy’s dashing daring a woman on the front row lets out a whimper, holds a handkerchief to her head and faints.

That’s right. This weekend I will be picking the pockets of mobsters all over the country. 

Buddy loved the smell of a pocket. A treasure trove of cash and lost dignity.

I will hold a minimum of $10m on hand at all times. I will add to that stack by at least $2m for every successful pickpocket and if you mug me you can keep both the cash and my respect at your cohonas. I’ll even chuck in a quad.

There will be nowhere to hide. And there will be no one to complain to. But don’t just listen to me, here is some advice from my esteemed contemporaries and also Monarch:

Don’t want to hear any whiny bullshit about PP or Mugs
Posted by Bruiser on Mar 10, ’26 16:05

Pickpocketing & Mugging is permitted in the district of Queens.
Posted by JohnDutton on Jun 10, ’26 14:38

Always mug.
Posted by Interlude on Apr 23, ’26 11:37

If you can mug…. you should mug
Posted by Shaggs on Apr 13, ’26 19:17

PP everyone, Mug everyone!
Posted by Monarch on Feb 08, ’26 18:14

Detroit doesn’t seem to have set any rules yet. Lazy and lawless. Just how I remember it.

This will kick off at 00:00 Saturday morning. Although in reality I will be asleep then and so is more likely to start around 6-7ish or whenever the puppies drag me out of bed.

Monarch stands up slowly from the chair he was sitting, while pouring some liquor on his glass.

"Finally, BuddyBigPaw has found the courage to come forward with the truth."

He then raises his glass towards Buddy.

"I appreciate you acknowledging my super wisdom. However, quoting me alongside those other esteemed gentlemen was unnecessary, of course. My word alone would've been more than sufficient."

A smile crosses his face.

"However, our pockets have suffered long enough from BuddyLongHands. I'll also be throwing some random perks in addition to whoever manages to mug him."

im curious if you will update after saturday for your findings and results, the idwa of this intrigues me about how each city will react and which city will be more "forceful" in regards to mugging

The timing is perfect, Chicago has been well prepared prior to this announcement and is ongoing, we have a habit of emptying pockets of mere tourists. Look forward to seeing you, wish I could say the same for you.

Yes I will be sharing my findings, I expect to be severely disappointed by all you pacifists though.

Worth pinging me on the day if you want to try your luck - otherwise I’ll be targeting people at random as I jump from city to city.

Unfortunately, BuddyBigPaw is what we in the business call a flat track bully. He likes to come out here with his big talk and his stupid face and tell everyone about how tough he is, but when anyone of any real might (i.e. not Monarch) challenges him, he folds like a particularly ugly deckchair. 

Please see Exhibit A. It has taken him 3 whole months to recover from the beating I laid upon him the last time he got uppity: 

Mar 11, 09:41:25    You caught up with BuddyBigPaw, beat them within an inch of their life, and took $454,698
Mar 11, 09:41:09    BuddyBigPaw PICKPOCKETED you, taking $15,000 from you. If you are quick enough, you can extract a little revenge.

And now, whilst I'm fully engaged stopping PropertyManager from tripping his own velcro strapped shoes and DuchessDingleberry from choking on the knotweed stems that she deepthroats every evening, not even ranked amongst the VIP elite for the first time in forever, he comes out here with this challenge. What a piece of shit. 

I'm sure he'll trot up with some made up claims of picking my pockets. Whatever. Nobody cares about that. You should be worried about the future instead, BuddyBigPaw. Lest you forget, there was once a town called South Philly where the bigwigs liked to issue challenges. "South Philly?" I hear you ask. Most of you have probably never even heard of it. It is where New Detroit stands now in all its squalor and open sewered glory. It was conquered, raped and pillaged. That's the future that awaits LA. Well, not the raping part because we've seen what you have over there, but still. Las Angeles has a nice ring to it, don't you think? 

BuddyBigPaw is the very image of a domesticated bitch. He runs with wolves and pretends he's wild then cuddles up and sleeps on a nice soft bed every night. He's still dodging my pro wacking abilities. He fears death!

DetroitSimon do you think after we claim Las Angeles you can finally promote me to Made Man, spend 600 million making me IWP and auth me into the city?

I think it would actually be rude not to, PropertyManager. I can almost picture it now; your orthopedic Clarks soles resting on BuddyBigPaw's desk whilst a docile and topless Cristoforo fans you with an enormous palm leaf. The faint howling of LonelyWolf can be heard on the breeze. TextBasedMafiaRPGMan plays no part as I've murdered him. What a beautiful scene. 

Enjoy living in a fantasy DetroitSimon. I shall raid your pockets just for kicks. I challenged PropertyManager to shoot at me weeks ago, dodging him he says? I was running an organised crime in Los Vegas under his nose this very morning.

Las Angeles. How trite.

Did you not even realise that you live in Los Vegas already? Check the street signs, they’ve been that way for some time. Perhaps you need to get out more. No wonder we no longer see your name on the VIP boards these days. Each generation of the BigSi lineage gets quieter. Perhaps your child will be a mouse.

Legends of Los Vegas

Started by EnrichoLives on Apr 13, '26 13:07

Challenging PropertyManger to do something? You prove my point for me. Has there ever been a weaker, more wretched, deplorable example of manliness? I've certainly never seen one. Bully-fodder, clear as day. A New York stink to him that no amount of cool Las Vegas sunshine can burn away.

Funny you should mention, BigSi. I remember when you were just a pup gathered at his feet with all the others to listen to tales of how great he was. Many, many, many tales. What's the relevance? I hated you then and I hate you now. 

Also, some stat nerd compiled this:

GF-LVDTLASi: Threads / Posts: 10 / 65 (in 141 days)

BigMonarch: Threads / Posts: 8 / 57 (in 339 days)

Now, I'm no math geek, but it seems like this adds up to me being better than you without even trying. So before I give you a bleed on the brain over the weekend, in the words of LonelyWolf, perhaps have a small education on it to learn a bit. 

I’m just glad that we live in a world where people appreciate quality, not just quantity.

’Obsession.’ Some people think this is a fragrance that you can buy from an apothecary in the LA business district. But I’m starting to think of this as a word to describe your fascination with me.

He counts every time I speak, keeps a secret tally and measures it against his own. At least he’s only measuring speeches…

He even sends me parcels of cash, whilst whispering sweet nothings such as:

Your accountant has received payment of $1,000 from DetroitSimon. The note "Shutup please" was included.

Your accountant has received payment of $400 from DetroitSimon. The note "Spits" was included.

Spits, well that’s better than swallows I suppose

Sometimes you don’t even have the words to describe your feelings, you let the gift do the talking.

Your accountant has received payment of $50,000,000 from DetroitSimon.

You don’t have to hide. LA and Los Vegas will live hand in hand for years to come.

CH will be ready to mug all visitors.

I look at The_Watcher and say.

You still owe me 1 dollar

I look forward to seeing this in action, any way we can get more mobsters into the streets and chatting amongst one another is a great success.

Being a legitimate businessman myself its is intriguing how the mobsters carry out so many crimes out in the open.

I applaud this initiative from the Dog-Man, and applauding is the only time I actually take my hands out of my pocket! I'm the bank so often these days that the teller wished me a happy birthday the other day before my wife did. I'm looking forward to this so much, that I've been practicing my pick-pocketing skills on Fallensoldier and The_Watcher various Chicago Hands and KinglseyShacklebolt Vegas Crew Leaders. We should celebrate this art, and the wild buzz it gives, when you're skilled enough to snatch it back and reap the rewards. I'm not as skilled as some, granted, but I'll certainly try.

This morning the gods sent me a message. They told me that what I was planning was righteous.

The Daily Hustle

Task	Progress
Attempt to pick someone's pocket.	0/1
Take a flight to another city.	0/1

Well here I find myself in Shitcago. Only one prey online as far as I can tell from the locals and the OCs. What more would you expect from this dead city?

Buddy jingles the $10m in his pocket and begins padfooting up behind his intended target. This one will be on the lookout, clues in the name. He reaches into his pocket, and…

Jun 13, 04:47:19

You PICKPOCKETED! The_Watcher. You took $15,000.

Nice, got away with it! And there was me thinking that Mint_Royale had been warming these guys up. Pathetic. Right, time to fulfil my second daily task from the gods and get out of this shithole…with glee…where to next I wonder?

Upon noticing a paw print on his trousers as I prepared for bed I decided to retaliate...

With my recovered money I now sit in a city full of unprotected pockets.

A cheap shot? Or a daring move? Maybe both.

Were we underestimating your skill, or has Monarch been spending his bodyguard training money on trips to the seaside again?

This means war. The capos have been alerted, the bosses have hit the mattresses, the soldiers are moving into action.

Chicago are alert. Time to hit Los Vegas hard.

Jun 13, 05:54:52

You PICKPOCKETED! xLadyfighterx. You took $15,000.

She might be a lady, but she didn’t put up a fight!