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I Will Make You Rich Started by: GunHolder on Jan 03, '22 14:22

Friends, these streets are dreadfully boring. There is nothing happening on them of any interest whatsoever. The only time anyone goes out of their way to say or do anything, it is to get on a high horse and tell Kuku off. We've heard it before, we'll hear it again, we've heard it enough. It's a snooze. 

So, with the kind of incredible generosity only afforded by someone who does not want anything to do with the riches at their disposal, I am offering a fortune to the person who can best answer the following question:

What am I holding?

I would like to make it known right off the bat that this is a free-form competition. I may adjust the parameters at any point, and may throw in a few twists and turns. Who knows. Everything is just so damn boring around here, you've got to make your own fun. 

Furthermore, you may be wondering what kind of fortune is on the line. I'll only say this: a large one, in the form of credits. I will not reveal more until it is appropriate or entertaining to do so, perhaps to raise the stakes at a further time. The winner (or winners? Who knows) will not be going hungry any time soon. 

A quick shoutout to my crewleader Medea, who sheltered me from the cold following the death of SlimShady (RIP). Without her, none of this would be possible. Salute. 

Feel free to deliberate here and leave as many answers as you want. There are no limits. If you have any questions, I'll answer if I feel they are worth answering. Answers may be as long or short as you like. Really, whatever you feel like doing, get at it. The winner may not be an actual answer to the question at all. Or will it? I don't know. 

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A quick addendum so nobody wastes their time: if your answer is some stupid, overly long 'story' about origins or whatever, you're going to lose. This is your moment to stop being so damn boring, not an opportunity to cultivate it. 

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A noble challenge, Gunholder.  What I believe you are holding is the sad knowledge that, with honourable exceptions, the upper structures of this world are suffering the Black Dog of chronic lack of ambition.

You understand that they are only capable of running a writing competition in reprisal for one that has been organised and executed by their sworn enemy, that ID of the Streets, the Alpha & Omega of the Creative Writing Community.

You are holding the knowledge that the upper structure (with dishonourable examples) have the capacity to do new things and not be so consumed with enmity towards the Kuku lineage, but you also hold the knowledge that they will not.

I wonder IF what you are NOT holding is the knowledge of why not?

As well as holding all of this, you also hold a gun.

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Thank you for your entry, JulianLennon. Feel free to submit as many as you like. I figured you would be among the first to appear. As it stands, you are currently on course to win a tidy sum, being the only entrant. Congratulations. What do you intend to do with the money?

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This seems too simple to be true, Gunholder.  Judging by your name and photograph, I'd say it's a high likelihood that you are holding a gun.  

 

But, that seems too obvious.  Is the question what are you holding in the other hand? Or - maybe in a metaphorical sense?  Maybe what your bank account is holding?  Maybe I'm drunk again, and I have absolutely missed the point (again) on this.  

 

I've always been told that I oversimplify things.  I'm gonna go with my gut.  You're holding a gun.

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I have little need for money, Gunholder, but I would like to be able to run a competition of some kind, like you are.

Or perhaps setting up a newspaper, like the late, great Melvin.  He would randomly give large sums of money to people as a marketing strategy.

Genius.

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A very fine answer, @Squirrely-Dan. Very good, very good. Could it be that simple? It just may be. And could something so simple earn you the wealth of Plutus himself? You better believe it. But then again, it may be something else entirely. Does a man deserve to be put in a box because he is called this or that? Can I not hold whatever it is I choose? Important questions.

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I like this kind of contest very much, it brings back memories of the Sphynx' of ancient Greece for they were very notorious in spinning riddles and devouring pray as they failed to answer the question posed. I sincerely hope you shall not do the latter however!!

 

Hmm what are you holding, well my Drunk leader has took a stab at it, but i fear he shall be wonton and his blurred vision impaired his skills of observation. For yes it does look like a gun, but to me it looks a little wobbly and seems to crumble where you grip it the most. So my best estimated guess, is that it is in fact a pie or a cake in the shape of a gun, but fluffy and buttery in the middle no less!!

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Le-Semois - I recently visited Chinatown on business (they wanted help developing their own Cantonese Creative Writing Community), and they served me a delicious dish which had a number of wontons.  Are you implying that your leader, the "says it like he sees it" Forrest Gump of organised crime Squirrelly-Dan is a dumpling?

Gunholder - you are also wearing a doctor's coat.  Are you holding a patient up to test their reflexes to sudden lethal threat?  Is this a depiction of a Zimbardo experiment?

In a sense, this society is one giant experiment.  

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It's been a long time since a decent newspaper has been printed, JulianLennon. It would go some way to break the tedium of everything that isn't happening around here. Then again, it's hard to think there is much to print. I saw SadFace had brought up some controversial claims across the street and it looks like AliceLiddell could write a decent piece on it. A start?

Le-Semois, you've struck the bullseye on the spirit of the competition. We meet on the crossroads of the path to Delphi; me, grotesque, mystical and on the verge of killing myself - you, Le-Oedipus, seeking wisdom and wealth, hopefully not intending to marry your mother. Your answer has been taken into consideration. Feel free to submit as many as you like.

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GunHolder, I have heard of a newspaperman by the name of Dominic.  His approach was simple but perfect in its simplicity.  His editorial press had its challenges, but he worked hard.  He once paid a few thousand dollars for a huge scoop by exploiting a vagrant loosely associated with the ruling class of Chicago.

Are you holding a copy of Dominic's Star Gazette? 

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Memories you my friend are holding the memories of all the good times you have had on mr with us the memories of fallen comrades the memories of friendship the memories of war you hold these memories close and never forget the only thing. You can take with you when you leave the world memories
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A wonderful answer, Mafiatrivia1. And now I have one more great memory, listening to your poetic answer. Is it correct? Maybe, maybe not. The answer could just be a gun. Have you considered that? You may answer as many times as you like, so if that were one of your submissions, I wouldn't dock you points for hedging your bets. 

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Hello GunHolder. I don't think that we have met before, so this is quite the pleasure. 

I have read your riddle and I am intrigued. While I think the answer 'you're holding a gun' is quite obvious and reasonable; further examination of your pained facial expression leads me to think you are in fact holding your bladder. Very risky behavior indeed since it could lead to a nasty UTI and a twitchy trigger finger. I hope that my worry for your well being as well anyone standing in front of you (eep, the thoughts are horrifically messy) should something go off.

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You may be holding a gun but you also hold memories memories are the only thing you can not take with you the second you fire said gun it will drop and leave you hold memories when you go to what ever afterlife awaits us
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MafiaTrivia1 - who is holding your punctuation?  Also, memories, all of memories memories may explode into our brains at the moment of death, as he are approaching the tunnel of light.

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Also: GunHolder, are you holding a copy of Systematic Immolation of Thought?  If not, you should be.

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A bold submission, very good Ms_Ann_Thropy. Could it be a curious case of the urge to pee? You may be on to something, I do like to stay well-hydrated. But I am a man of many mysteries. If I were the kind of man who wore adult diapers, there would be no need to hold it in. Am I that kind of man? That's for me to know and you all to find out. 

JulianLennon, I will give the first definitive no of the competition here: I am not holding Systemic Immolation of Thought. There you have it, the first no. Never before has a toaster been such a jarring example of the ruination of one man's mind. God rest his soul. 

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I kinda think the detail here might be to assume you are right handed....that's open to interpretation for sure, I am more interested in what you have in your left hand.....

More details are required:

Are there others in the room? Are they standing or kneeling? Are you fully clothed or just upper half? Do you have full use of both of both of your upper body limbs including hands? Is the room cold or warm? I may have further questions depending on these answers!

 

Great one to bring to the streets an injection (pardon the pun) of a shift from the vanilla, I like it, much appreciated. So me and my filthy humour needs more more more!!! :)

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Ah, the game is there to be played and carpe-diem is out to do it. No rules, no limits, if there is anything you believe can help you win, do it. Does that end at questions? Who knows. Murder, that of which has marred contests famously run by Kuku and The Lincoln Lawyer in the not-distant past? 

Here are the answers I choose to give:

Yes, there are others in the room. It is one man, in a purple suit, and he is asking me what I am doing. 

He is standing.

I am fully-clothed.

I have the full use of my hands, in that my muscles function as they should, what may be in them not withstanding. So, if the question were rather, could I operate a rowboat in my present state, the answer may potentially be no. But if it is whether I could be in a rowboat waving my arms up and down, the answer is yes.

The room is cool, like a laboratory. 

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