Get Timers Now!
X
 
Sep 24 - 23:21:26
-1
Page:  1 2 3 4 5 [ > - >>> ]
Jokes Competition - 2.25 Million US$ Prizes Started by: NumberOne on Jul 07, '15 21:55

Date: 7th of July 1933

Location: NumberOne House, New York.

NumberOne was sitting on his sofa reading a book, when he suddenly felt bored and not interested in reading anymore, the past few days were quite busy and many of his friends and family died, he haven't been really enjoying anything lately. Always feeling tired, always feeling bored, he was only a yard away from getting into depression.

Suddenly one of his associates came in after knocking the door, " Good Afternoon Boss " said his associate.

NumberOne looked at his Associate and said in a bored voice: Hey, Good Afternoon. Anything Wrong?

Associate:"Not at all Boss, I just Noticed that you are not in the mood lately and wanted to suggest something to get you out of mood"

NumberOne: Go ahead, what do you have in Mind?

Associate: Jokes Party, Your father threw one in his old days when he was quite feeling the same and it turned out very well.

NumberOne smiled and thought of it for a while and said in a low voice: Hmmm, Why not, Let's give it a try, Go Ahead, Make it Public.

"Yes Sir" said his associate before he walks out of the room heading towards his men to give them instructions, it was only an hour later when he put this big white board infront of NumberOne House.

The Jokes Competition is Back

You Are All Invited

Drinks, Drugs & Girls on The House.

It is Fun Time

Best Joke Will Get 1 Million US$

2nd Best Joke Will Get 0.75 Million US$

3rd Best Joke Will Get 0.5 Million US$

Come & Tell Your Joke

Everybody is a Winner - All Participants Will Receive a Gift of 25,000 USD

Party Goes on For Three Days & Winners will be Announced After Full Three Days.

Let The Party Begin

********

 

Report Post Tips: 1 / Total: $25,000 Tip
Jimmy Ligambi steps up to the mic and clears his throat.

"What kind of bees give you milk?"

Pause for dramatic effect.

"Boobies"
Report Post Tips: 1 / Total: $25,000 Tip

*Falls off chair due to laughing hysterically*

Report Post Tips: 1 / Total: $75,000 Tip

NumberOne listens to Jimmy-Ligambi Joke before he smiles and walks towards him saying: Nice Start, Thanks for joining us, I hope you will enjoy the Party. Then he asks one of the girls to escort Mr. Jimmy to a VIP Table.

Report Post Tip

*Gets back up and strolls up to the Mic*

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. I thought: "He's trying to pull a fast one."

Report Post Tips: 1 / Total: $25,000 Tip
Jimmy slips a $100 bill into Numbers top pocket as the girl escorts him away.
"Thanks for the invite to the party, I hope these comics will be funny."
Jimmy slaps his hostess on the backside as they settle into a VIP booth.
"Waitress, a White Russian, when your ready.
Report Post Tip
Hello hello Im lindsay please give me credit scared can't see the light in my eye hello people
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Report Post Tip
Dady, what is in between mummy's legs?
- A paradise.
- And what's between your's?
- The key.
- So you should change the lock, because our neighbour has a passkey.
Report Post Tips: 1 / Total: $25,000 Tip

Butterfingers steps up, looking around at the crowd, she has a sad look on her face:

 

This morning I had to catch the bus downtown with my baby and as I got on the bus, the bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''

I was shocked and rattled so I hurried to the rear of the bus and sat down, fuming. There was this kind looking man next to me and I told him that the driver just insulted me! and with that the man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

Report Post Tips: 2 / Total: $45,000 Tip

NumberOne smiles listening to Sam's Joke, He is not really sure if he got the joke or no but he had to smile anyways and Raise his hand saluting Sam, He then pointed to one of his associates to Invite Sam to his Table to have a little chat

Report Post Tip

NumberOne was waiting for Sam to join him when he saw Lindsay going on the stage telling her Joke, it was a funny one, Lindsay was too beautiful too so he couldn't stop himself from walking towards her as she gets down of the stage.

"That was a nice joke, Thanks for joining my party, i wonder if i may have the honor of inviting you to my table." Said No.1

Report Post Tip

The party was getting crowded more and more as the time goes on, as Butterfingers came on stage, No.1 noticed she was a bit sad, but she still said a nice joke indeed. No.1 smiled to the joke and started thinking why was she said, is it part of the joke mood or she is really sad.

Report Post Tip

NumberOne, let me ask you my friend... let me ask you this.
So you're sitting around in the living room, listening to the radio or reading the paper.. and your wife... your wife walks in from the kitchen, nagging up a storm.
I tell you, she's just left and right. Non-stop bitching.

What did you do wrong?

---  You made the chain from the kitchen too long. 


 

Report Post Tips: 1 / Total: $25,000 Tip

Butterfingers smiles at No1 as she takes a seat

 

It's all good sweetie, I was just playing the part. Now let's see some more funny people up here.

Report Post Tip
Step up to the stage ....Hello hello

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer

The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough." thank thank you
Report Post Tip

Swaggy walks into the streets and hears a crowd of people laughing, he approaches the crowd and reads the sign that says "Jokes Competition" Excited he awaits Lindsay to finish her joke as she takes a seat. Nervously Swaggy walks up the steps on the side of the stage then walks towards mic. Squinting from the brightness he *grunts* clearing his throat.

Ok Ok, A brunette, A brown and a blonde were all asked: if you could bring one thing to walk through the hot desert what would you bring?

-The brunette says, I would bring an umbrella to keep the son off her sking. 

-The brown hair girl says, I would bring cold water so when I get thirsty I can have a drink.

-The blonde says, I would bring a car door so when it get's hot I can roll down the window.

Swaggy burst out into an controlled laugh, realizing he is the only one laughing at his knee slapper he begins to exit the stage while hearing crickets in the background coming from the crowd.

Report Post Tips: 1 / Total: $25,000 Tip

Butterfingers stands up in disgust as SwAgSaUcE leaves the stage and shouts to him:

 

That isn't even funny, because blondes aren't smart enough to think of that.... blondes and coke bottles are both empty from the neck up....

 

She sits back down blowing a kiss to SwAgSaUcE

Report Post Tip
Hmmm knee slapper blaaa
Report Post Tip

A little boy walks in on his parents having sex and Asks his mom what she is doing.

She replies, "You see honey, your daddy has a big tummy and I am helping him to flatten it."

The boy looks at her and replies, "Mommy, don't waste your time. When you go to work, the girl next door just comes over and blows it right back up!"

Report Post Tips: 1 / Total: $25,000 Tip
Sit back slip on whisky thinking about a nice joke.Walk up.. hello hello Im Lindsay
What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before?’

Answer: “A key” blaaa House is quite
Report Post Tip

This Forum Is For 100% 1950's Role Play (AKA Streets)
Replying to: Jokes Competition - 2.25 Million US$ Prizes
Compose Body:

@Mention Notifications: On More info
How much do you want to tip for this post?

Minimum $20,000

(NaN)
G2
G1
L
H
D
C
Private Conversations
0 PLAYERS IN CHANNEL