NumberOne was kissing a nice girl sitting next to him when one of his associates approached him saying: Sir, Bishop is here.

No.1 Looked at him saying thanks, and he excuses himself and goes to Bishop to welcome him to the party.

Sir, What an honor and pleasure. That was a nice joke out there. Will you join me and Orsik on our VIP Table. Said No.1

Technical comes out of the bathroom after washing his hands with soap and warm water. He walks up to NumberOne.

"Hey man, I have a safety suggestion for you. You really need to install a water heater on the urinals. The water is too damn cold."

Technical walks away shivering.

Charlie walks up to the microphone

What do you call a deer with no eyes.... well I have NO-Eye-Deer 

Haha you get it like u have no idea have a good one folks

CHARLIE looks Joseph-Ligambi "You like that one uncle joe"

NumberOne smiles to Charlie's Joke and Saluts him raising his hand up before he shouts out loud: Nice One Pal

No.1 then asks one of his associates to escort Mr. Charlie to a nice table.

Starfire mearly shrugged and began to think of a joke. She could do a whats the difference joke, but nah she was taking a step away from the assets of dark humor. As she took a stand basically standing up and standing on the stage, she spoke loudly for NumberOne to hear, using the mic of course.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field. 

After saying her joke she retreated to the back corner, sitting there in silent shambles. She didn't like to get up in front of a lot of people and it always made her nervous, yet she did it.

NumberOne noticed how nervous was Starfire, so he stood up and walked towards her as she gets off the stage and says: Good Everning Princess Starfire, that was a nice joke. Thanks. Hope you are Enjoying the party so far, Can I invite you for a drink at my table?

Chucky walks into the house and stands and listens to all the jokes.  He likes to listen more than he does speak.  However, something finally comes over him and he reaches down into his shallow metaphorical bag of jokes to find one.  Chucky, satisfied with what he has, steps up to stage and clears his throat:

"Why did the idiotic mafioso hitman have to go to the hospital?

He burnt his lips on a hot tailpipe when his boss told him to blow up a car!!"

Chucky starts slapping his knee and laughing hysterically.  He looks out to a crowd of groaning mobsters.  He abruptly steps down off the stage and takes his place back in the crowd to hear some more jokes.

Do you think, that when a vegetarian bites their lip while eating that they feel guilty.

Walking up to Numberone, Jakey quickly down a drink and replaces it with one a waitress had on her tray.

"Boy do I have a story for you. 

Once upon a time, there was a bartender. He liked to experiment with making new cocktails all the time. One afternoon, a horse walked into his bar. The bartender, looking shocked at first, and them calm, asked why the long face, and the horse said "you're real fucking funny. Can ya get me a gin and tonic?"

The bartender apologized and got the horse his drink. Shortly after came in a dog that had a rough day. He wanted 2 beers and a whiskey. And after him was a drunk duck, who was quackers about alcohol, and wanted the cheapest rum the bartender had. After a while, the horse left and was replaced by a pair of snakes. 

"What can I get for you two?" The bartender said. "Whissssssskey shots. Whisssssskey." They replied. He poured them their drinks, and watched as they brought up their tails to drink the shots. 

After they had all left later that night, the bartender pulls out a notepad and writes "Mushroom martini: success." And goes home.

Hope you liked it. I'm gonna partake in one of those girls. Have a good rest of the party. I sure will be."

Downing the rest of his drink, Jakey grabs another and walks over to the stairs and goes to an upper room with a brown haired beauty.

Honesty walked into the party. It was lively in there. People were drinking, laughing, hitting on girls, talking and there was some music. Honesty bypassed multiple people, pushing them aside without any force to make way. He walked to number one and asked him if he was the one hosting the party as he was sitting in a chair overlooking this event. Number one told him "yes" and so Honesty told him that he had a joke for him! He leaned in:

"There are three women whom are dead and awaiting their afterlife destiny. On their left, is the door to Heaven. On the right, the door to Hell. God was in the middle of these two doors and told the first girl to approach.

"You will tell me your life and you better not lie. This will determine which door you'll go through," God said. 

"I was born nice, lived my life nice, and died nice."

"Here is the key to Heaven. Next."

The second one walks up to God and says:

"I was born evil, lived my life evil and died evil."

"Here is the key to Hell. Next."

The third and last one walked towards God and says:

"I was born sexy lived my life sexy and died sexy."

"Here is the key to my room."

Bespoke takes a slug of his Irish Whiskey and draws hard on his freshly lit cigarette and says...

"Why do women have legs?".

"I don't know why do women have legs!" someone shouts from the crowd.

Bespoke smiles "Have you ever seen the mess a snail makes!...."

NumberOne was listening to jokes all day long, some were funny, some were not but he had to smile anyways to show appreciation to his guests. Finally Honesty walked in telling his joke, it was funny, NumberOne laughed at it and said to Honesty: Nice Joke Mate. I haven't really smiled in a while. Thanks.

Then No.1 asked one of the girls to escort Honesty to a nice table and to take care of his needs.

Uncle Joe arrived at the party and saw many friends of his sharing laughs and enjoying the festivities. Joe got himself a drink and found some friends in the corner. He had arrived with a joke that pertained to this life of ours in the streets and he wanted to share it with the guests in attendance in hopes that they would appreciate it.

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he

got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court. 

When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks is that he embezzled from me." 

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is. 

Enzo signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo's temple and says, "Ask him again!"

The lawyer signs to Enzo, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him." 

Enzo signs back, "OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno's backyard in Woodbridge !" 

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, " He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

NumberOne was having a drink when he noticed Uncle Joe getting into the party, so he walked towards him before he gets on the stage saying: Uncle Joe, What an Honor. Please join me at my table to have a little chat.

Jimmy laughs so hard at his Uncle Joes joke he falls of his chair. After getting up and asking for another drink, jimmy heckles, " Say another"

Before Uncle Joe could sneak away for a little chat with NumberOne he had to honor his cousin Jimmys request for one more Joke. His first one seemed to have gone over well and he thought surely his second would top it. Joe had a good sense of humor about the life... 

Uncle Joe sipped from his drink while NumberOne waited for him at his table. He wanted to make this joke a quick one so he could give him the time he deserved.

Joe took one more swing and let her rip.

"A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away.

He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it and throws it away.

He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear baby Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again..."

Not wanting to be outdone by Uncle Joe, Profaci made his way back up to the stage.

Al_Zapponi came home from work in a pretty good mood.

"How was work, Honey?" His wife asked.

"I got good news, and I got bad news," Al told her.

"Well," pondered his wife, "I'll guess I'll take the good news first."

"Okay, get this," he boasted. "Uncle Joe gave me an important new job, and he's paying me FIFTY GRAND! I start tomorrow."

"That's fantastic, honey! Did you tell your best friend, Quiet Joe, yet?" She excitedly gushed.

"I said there was bad news, too, baby," he frowned. "Quiet Joe's dead."

"Oh my God, no! Joe was the best!" She cried. "He gave the kids a nice present every Christmas! When did he pass away?"

Al looked down and shook his head. "Tomorrow."

Butterfingers has had her share of laughs and drinks and decides to get up to the microphone again:

A friend of mine rang home the other day and his 8 year old daughter picks up the phone :
“Hi honey, this is daddy. Is mommy near the phone ?”
“No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quipped.
After a brief pause daddy says,“But honey you haven’t got an uncle Paul!”
“Oh yes I do, and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now.”
“Uh okay then, this is what I want you to do : put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door, and shout to mommy that daddy’s car has just arrived at the gate.”
“Ok daddy just a minute....”
A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, “Done it daddy.”
"What happened honey ?”
“Well, mommy got scared and jumped out of the bed naked, ran round the room screaming, tripped over, and knocked her head on the staircase, now she is not moving at all and Daddy there is blood coming from her head.”
“What about Uncle Paul ?” asked Dad.
He jumped out the window into the swimming pool, but I guess he didn’t know you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he’s dead Daddy.”
After a really long pause Daddy says,“Swimming pool, but we don't have a swimming pool! Is this 486-5731?”
“No, this is 486-5713” Says the little girl.
“Sorry wrong number....!!!!
 

Laughing, Butter fingers waves to the audience and returns to her seat.

In an attempt to pick himself up off of the ground holding his stomach from laughing so hard from all of the great comedians who took the stage tonight, Swaggy regains his composure and walks up to the stage approaching the mic once again.

Ok Ok, I got one! "while laughing at the joke in his head he finally starts to get the words out"

What do you call a dog with one leg and one eye?

Cracking up knowing everyone is looking at him like a complete fool he blurts out I HOP!...get it dog, one eye one leg 

Knowing he looks like a complete imbecile on stage he puts the mic back on the stand, takes a bow and walks off of the stage as he is booed horrible from the crowd taking several tomatoes to the head